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Posted by: Lawrence May 27 2004, 08:19 AM

We got new toolboxes. The commander made everyone who got one of the new ones sign the memo below. This IS for real:


MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING

Subject: Issue of New Mechanics Toolboxes

1. I, the undersigned, understand:

a. This is my toolbox; there are many like it, but this one is mine. I
understand that I am responsible for its contents or lack thereof. When CPT
Trant eventually does a change of command, which will occur sometime before
her seventieth birthday, I will still be responsible for everything in or
not in my toolbox. At the time of the inventory, if I am missing anything -
even if it's a screwdriver bit or something no one ever uses like a wrench,
I will be required, on the spot, to pay for the tools replacement at the
exorbitant (very expensive) GSA catalog rate. I know that my tools were
purchased through the same organization that paid twenty thousand dollars
for a toilet seat, so I will be especially careful not to lose them. But if
I do, I will pay through either cash collection voucher or a statement of
charges. I will pay and no amount of begging will change that fact. I have
been forewarned.

b. Furthermore, I understand that these toolboxes were not made by
mechanics. They were made by nerdy gizmo freaks who do not understand the
amount of abuse my old metal toolbox suffered. I understand that I must be
gentler with this toolbox because it is made of plastic. I cannot use it as
a chock block; I cannot hit other soldiers with it, or attempt to crush it
against my forehead. I cannot drop it off the back of a truck, especially
if it's cold, or it will shatter. I will treat it as gently as I would my
own child (or for some, replace with X-Box.) If the toolbox itself should
become damaged or if one of my tools becomes damaged through my "use a
bigger hammer" concept of repair, I will notify my supervisor immediately.
I will prepare it for turn-in and keep a copy of my turn-in document for
display during the eventual change of command inventory. I understand that
if I do not have this turn in document and my shortage annex is not
correctly annotated, I will be required to pay for it. See above about the
effectiveness of crying, etc.

2. Point of contact is the undersigned.


Signature_____________________
Printed name and rank________________________

Posted by: drew365 May 27 2004, 08:47 AM

Good to see a sense of humor. Probably make the higher ups seem almost human.

Posted by: Jeroen May 27 2004, 09:39 AM

Priceless!
But I'm not sure wether to laugh or cry about it

cheers,

Jeroen

Posted by: tod914 May 27 2004, 10:04 AM

Feel free to loose your M16A2 or Beretta, but God or Alah forbid you loose a screwdriver. Statement of charges in a war zone.... who would of thought??

Posted by: dinomium May 27 2004, 10:30 AM

If you cant hit people with it or bash it with you forehead, WHAT FRICKEN GOOD IS IT?

Posted by: tod914 May 27 2004, 10:35 AM

About as effective as a rubber bayonette.

Posted by: Jake Raby May 27 2004, 11:05 AM

You should see the tool control programs in the Navy/ Marine Corp... Its amazing. When a tool comes up unaccounted for every aircraft flying is landed immediately, and nothing leaves the ground- No one goes home till it is found.

Tools kill people.

I once saw a 1" Snap on wrench spin up on the flight line , it was sitting on top of a rotor head spinning 264 RPM. It came off and launched through the hanger wall 50 yards away...

While I was in my squadron lost TWO 30 million dollar aircraft. One was due to socket and the other due to a screwdriver... They grounded us for a month, and fired the C.O......You don't want to be the person that lost that tool.

Posted by: RAR May 27 2004, 12:00 PM

In Jackie Stewart's book "Faster", he speaks of becoming very angry when a spanner was left in the foot well of his F1 car. Tools can heal and they can harm.

Good to see the humor in uniform, initial post.

Posted by: URY914 May 27 2004, 01:49 PM

Post a picture of your tool box.

Like to see what it looks like.

Paul

Posted by: Jake Raby May 27 2004, 02:14 PM

maybe we should all post a pic of our tool boxes, that would make a neat thread!
Who is first?

Posted by: tat2dphreak May 27 2004, 02:33 PM

NO!! I have a far inferior tool box setup and would only have box envy

Posted by: URY914 May 27 2004, 03:07 PM

Here is the box I built for my trailer.
Top and sides are stainless steel and doors are aluminum.

Paul


Attached image(s)

Posted by: URY914 May 27 2004, 03:07 PM

Here it is opened.


Attached image(s)

Posted by: stock93 May 27 2004, 03:30 PM

So Paul.....How much does it weigh?

Posted by: TimT May 27 2004, 03:31 PM

Paul stainless is HEAVY

does look nice though

Posted by: URY914 May 27 2004, 03:59 PM

I knew I'd get a load of crap from you A-holes as soon as I said "steel" .

Paul

Posted by: vsg914 May 27 2004, 06:37 PM

Jake is correct. While fixing F-105's, F4's, and B-66's on the flightline in that "not a real war"in southeast Asia, we had a checklist on our tool boxes with every tool in the box on the list. We marked the list when we removed a tool, and erased the mark when it was returned (grease pencil). Before the tool box was closed and locked, every tool was checked and initailed by me and another mechanic, and signed off for on the aircraft repair order. Then the plane and box was checked again by the the QC(quality control) inspector. Only then was the aircraft allowed to fly. I am to this day very anal about where my tools are on my bench. I can see at a glance if anything is missing. If something is missing, no cars leave till it's found.

And, no! ya ain't gonna see no pics of my tool and work bench.

Posted by: Rgreen914 May 27 2004, 06:51 PM

vsg914

Would you care to tell Dr. Freud about your problem...!

Posted by: vsg914 May 27 2004, 07:00 PM

Mr. Green. I don't have a problem. Just don't touch my fucking tools. Unless your young, blonde, slim, good looking, and of course, FEMALE!!!!! Dr. Freud? Does he fix 914's?

Posted by: tod914 May 27 2004, 08:06 PM

No but Dr. 914 does Fraud or is that Freud. Any hoot you get the idea.

Posted by: vsg914 May 27 2004, 08:12 PM

Posted by: wheelo May 28 2004, 01:52 AM

For some...it is hard to understand the militay "logic". It is something that has to be EXPERIENCED first-hand. Great memo... I too hate to lose tools, (or even pens), must be the german-in-me ! The worst was a pair of valadium slip-joint plyers (1960's Craftsman) Loved those... left under a customer's deck in a mother of a storm...and yes, they were gone when I went-back to look!