I don't care what your politics are and please do not voice your candidate specific opinions here. BUT
Please get out and vote. It is a privilege to be able to vote. It is a vital part of any free society.
You may not feel as if your vote counts in the presidential election and feel that you don't need to vote. WRONG. The most important reason you should vote is not the presidential election but the local issues and candidates. This is where Joe Public can really affect his / her own community.
Support your local government....be involved in your local government. You will be amazed at how much the right leadership in your community owerpowers the crappy leadership that we have in the national legislature.
GET OUT AND VOTE TODAY
Done. 45 minutes, including 1/2 waiting for Poll to open. Long line to vote behind me...
here I go!
Yes, please go and vote.
And please, please, please, vote with your brain.
Don't vote for the guy with the cutest smile or the best one-liners or because that's what your dad votes.
Think about what YOU want for your country (for your own personal reasons) and vote for that...
Good luck!
Yep. GO VOTE. You people love to argue politics - now go make your actions match your words!!
We're lucky in Kansas that people are allowed 5 choices for president, plus a write-in.
-Rusty
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
Go out and vote!!!!!
Then tomorrow we all can come back and pass insults back and forth if our guy didn't win
Ron
I dont care who you vote for, just make sure it is NOT Kerry. I swear this country will hurt severely if he gets elected. But do go vote. I just got home, guess who I voted for? Oh, if you are in California, vote YES on 66
I am voting for the guy with the cutest smile, best jokes and the most promises!
I don't want prayer in the workplace, drilling for oil in my backyard nor missile defense systems that can't work.
Guess who I am voting for!
Geoff
Geoff, can you be a bit more specific please
Yep Yep Yep!! Gotta go vote.
Strangely enough.... I have never voted before. I've never cared enough about politics to vote.
I voted for the first time nearly a month ago. Now more than ever it is of such importance.
The fact that I'm active duty Air Force for the past 11 years has great bearing on what my decision was.
It all boils down to change. If you believe what we are doing is right, vote accordingly. If you believe the country is headed in the right direction, vote accordingly. If you believe that everything is just fine, and our military are dying for noble causes....... then vote for the candidate who believes no change is necessary.
If you believe we need a drastic change, now........ vote accordingly.
Either way, voice your opinions, voice your beliefs, and express your right as an American. Do it today..... right now.
Matt
I think we need to have a HUGE 914 get-together.
HOOTERS.... yea..... definately HOOTERS. If Bush wins, the conservatives get to buy the beer and wings.
If Kerry wins, the liberals can buy.
How about we have the meeting in St. Louis? LMFAO
We voted, from what I hear there will be record turn out. have some important measures here in Oregon this year reguarding gay marriage and Medical Marijuana. This decides what kind of world our children live in, so don't forget to vote, each one counts, as we learned from last year.
HIEDI
Bush campaign confirms STICKERS too hard to get. The RNC has issued the following statement: "Rhodyguy (kevin powers) insists on using the USPS and requires the purchaser to address 2 envelopes. This archaic and cumbersome program has resulted in anxiety and frustration for those members unfamiliar with ball point pens, stamps, and the previously mentioned envelopes". President Bush stated, " My opponent seems to have no grasp of the importance of Paypal. My supporters are too busy checking new postings at 914world.com, while at work, to open a desk drawer and take out 2 envelopes". "If you elect me today, I will promise to focus all of the power, of all the governmental agencys, of the United States of America, to remedy this tiresome issue".
mmmmmmmmmmm. taxation without representation. yum.
I'm on my way to vote now.
But I must admit it’s a bit disheartening to see what is going on in Philadelphia.
Someone, or a lot of people need to get fired for this BS.
Anyone seen the recent episode of South Park??
Basically, it was a representation of the election process, shown through a school election of a new school mascot.
One choice was a giant douch..... the other was a turd sandwich.
The moral of the story is that even if you're not completely happy with your choice of candidates, you must pick the lesser of 2 evils and express your right to vote.
It was quite entertaining... I recommend you watch it, it helped "lighten" my mood.
Going to do the family Xmas picture, yes I said Xmas picture, then off to the polls.
I have voted since I have been allowed to - this time - I ain't gonna bitch either - they are just different sides of the same coin.
Voted absentee last month....I moved from LA to get away from traffic and lines....don't wanna stand in line to vote.
Worth the .37 cents to mail it in.....
As to choices....who would be the turd and who would be the Douchebag?
My wife and I vote absentee. Already done for this election. We vote for every ballet sent to us, read up on the issue, people ect and vote.
I voted last week. I like the fact that here in oregon we can vote by mail. no waiting in line, and the ballot comes right to your mail box.
I think that Trey and Matt (south park) hit the nail right on the head with that episode.
I also have to say that hopefully this election goes a little smoother than 4 years ago and we don't have to wait 2 months to find out who our next pres. will be.
That's it from me.
sr
Voted on the way to work this morning. No matter how disgusted I am with the candidates, I never miss an election. Even if I am picking between the lesser of several evils, someone is at least seemingly less evil. I just hope it doesn't end up in an electoral tie - tossing this thing to the Congress is my worst nightmare!
Thinking about the choices this year makes me feel like drinking.
Is P. Diddy himself responsible for killing the non-voters?
voted absentee.....
I've got my Kevlar underwear on - away!!!!!
I'm thinking that it could be pretty sweet for huge P. Diddy fans if he is responsible, since they probably would never meet him otherwise . . .
damn hollywood types not living up to their promises . . . who can you trust anymore?
I wonder if he will just have his henchmen do the dirty work? Wouldn't be nearly as cool as if P. Diddy was there.
When we visited last night, there were only 4 boys. And about 3 hours since her last pup. The agreement Brian and I had was we could keep a girl. So as we're laying in bed last night, we were contemplating the idea of keeping a boy. This morning I get an email from mom's owner, and a fifth pup was popped out at 12:10 this morning! A girl!!! I'm pretty sure she's the one we're taking home. I can't wait to meet her.
And, yes, she'd be Snoop's little girl.
Jen
This will be my first presidential election vote, so I'm excited. I'm going in an hour.
In case you're wondering, I'm voting for the best guy for the job.
here's my take on the whole thing
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I'm not going to say who i'm voting for, but....
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That's so exciting, Jen!
And since people can't seem to understand that they shouldn't express candidate preferences, any and all puppy pictures are welcome yet again.
Or cats. Or cars. Or fish. Anything.
Why not vote for the real throw-back candidate - Hedy Lamarr.
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High Anxiety?
As you wish......................
Here fishy, fishy, fishy..............................,
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...............................................,
im writing in my candidate - Slim Pickens
Last time and I'm not gonna warn you again.
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Guys, Kerry is going to win. The Redskins proved this point last week when they played Green Bay. The redskins home game before every election day since they have been in DC has accurately predicted the election outcome, if they win, the incumbent stays.
They lost last week to GB.
So don't even bother voting . . .
I've decided to launch an attack that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes...I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. Take this down: I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!
Thanks, Todd!
Jen
Redskins & K............................................., uhhhhhh, I can't say.
Go vote!
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Now I wonder what Mer and Jen would be posting if say Hillary were in the running?
Update: Dia had another female pup last night around 1:15. 4 boys and 2 girls! I'm going to die of cuteness.
Jen
I told Brian that we are, under no circumstances, naming the girl "Bush"
Everytime someone votes democrat, god kills a kitten.
THINK OF THE KITTENS!
"Oh, well, it got so that every pissin' prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. De Mille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word 'draw' in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walkin' down the street, and I heard a voice behind me say, 'Reach for it, mister!' I spun around and there I was face to face with a six year-old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. The little bastard shot me in the ass so I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since."
What did you expect? 'Welcome, sonny?' 'Make yourself at home.' 'Marry my daughter.' You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know - morons.
OK, my vote is in.
I don't want to give it away, but his initials are
GEORGE BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lisa
PS I heard he drives a 914
Hello, handsome, is that a ten-gallon hat - or are you just enjoying the show?
Would you care for another schnitzengruben?
No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.
Interesting. In 1988, the dodgers won a LOT, and that same year Bush won the presidency. Through the 90s (especially 96) the dodgers lost a LOT and we had Clinton.
This year the dodgers made the playoffs...
I give up.
YEAH!!!!!!!!!! With Matt
Lisa
I think I'm gonna
Are we awake? I don't know, are we Black?
Steady as a rock. Yes, but I shoot with this hand.
Mark, curse you for starting this. Wanna do Casablanca or Young Frank next? Both?
Of all the gin joints, put the candle back.
Practice Abstinence, NO Bush, NO Dick!!
"THE CAT" for president
Voted!
and it only took me 50 minutes standing in line .
Lyndon LaRouche rocks!!!!!!
for those of you interested in tracking the thing:
http://www.electoral-vote.com/
they've got kerry up by one point.
That's what I truly am hoping for!!!!!
Lisa
We could do a 914 run to one of the Dodger games
NATHAN AND BENNY FOR PRESIDENT
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I voted this morning, less than a 5 minute wait. It will probably be a longer wait this evening.
More critters
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more cats, gotta love the kitty's
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Sence this evolved into polyticks and pets...
Replace Rep with Dem if you like...
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License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that's all she wrote.
This is Darth Kitty. We adopted him when I lived in Egypt. Alas, he couldn't come home with me.
-Rusty
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Call me crazy, but I voted against Osama's recommendation. Sorry John.
Cindarella story, outta nowhere
Duh, read my sig line about following a Bush! I just voted and I had to wait 10 minutes because people couldn't figure out all the referendums and Intiatives. They were even asking the election people had these meant.......Read em before you go dummys.
Geoff
Outsmart Osama, vote for Nathan and Benny!
Right... He sure pulled the wool over my eyes. What he really fears is a repeat of the Clinton years. That was absolutely devastating to his cause. I truely hope people out there weigh the candidates and choose the one they believe will do the best job. Not the one that Sean Penn, or Arnold Schwartzenger tells them is best. Choose away!
..
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I love it!
Lisa
What an incredible Cinderella story, this unknown comes outta no where to lead the pack, at Augusta. He's on his final hole, he's about 455 yards away - he's gonna hit about a two-iron I think. Oh he got all of that one! The crowd is standing on its feet here, the normally reserved Augusta crowd - going wild - for this young Cinderella, he's come outta no where, he's got about 350 yards left, he's gonna hit about a five-iron, don't you think? He's got a beautiful backswing - that's - Oh he got all of that one! He's gotta be pleased with that, the crowd is just on its feet here, uh - He's the Cinderella boy, uh - tears in his eyes I guess as he lines up this last shot, he's got about 195 yards left, he's got about a - its looks like he's got about an eight-iron. This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta no where, a former greenskeeper now - about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac - It's in the Hole!
We watched Blazing Saddles last night, watching Young Frankenstein tonight.
Caddyshack and gin joints next..
"Thank God for the model trains, if they didn't have model trains, they would have never gotten the idea for the big ones"
NICE KNOCKERS!!!!
Why Thank YOU Doctor.....
You know....I can fix that hump.....
What Hump?
Nice to be back
M
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So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
Ah geez.;......tell me what brain you took.....
It was Abbey something........
You mean ABnormal????
OMY GOD....you got ME REDSHIFT's BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wrote myself in on everything.....
i'm gonna be king of the world!!!!! now bow to me!!!!!
This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff. Here, I've got pounds of this.
Well this thread has gone to hell-in-a-handbasket.
OH well might as well help it along.
Here's one "kitty" I wouldn't put out for the night.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga : His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : Exactly.
Inga : He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : That goes without saying.
Inga : Voof.
Igor : He's going to be very popular.
I'll take a kilo, 2.2 lbs that is, no mexican dirt weed damnit
This blonde is in the middle of a field, in a rowboat, just giving it hell, and another blonde pulls up along side her, and says, "It's bitches like you who give us all a bad name!".
The blonde put down the oars, and said, "You're lucky I can't swim, bitch! I'd get out of this boat, and kick your ass!".
M
Just voted. Took 10 minutes total, including parking the car. No line, and the guys at the table were even polite when I walked in and announced, "I don't know what to do." And I got a sticker at the end!
MarkV is your memormy that good, or have you seen these movies that many times.
Whatever, it's crakin' me up
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Hit it!
While digesting Reader's Digest
In the back of a dirty book store,
A plastic flag, with gum on the back,
Fell out on the floor.
Well, I picked it up and I ran outside
Slapped it on my window shield,
And if I could see old Betsy Ross
I'd tell her how good I feel.
Chorus:
But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.
They're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war.
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for,
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.
Well, I went to the bank this morning
And the cashier he said to me,
"If you join the Christmas club
We'll give you ten of them flags for free."
Well, I didn't mess around a bit
I took him up on what he said.
And I stuck them stickers all over my car
And one on my wife's forehead.
Repeat Chorus:
Well, I got my window shield so filled
With flags I couldn't see.
So, I ran the car upside a curb
And right into a tree.
By the time they got a doctor down
I was already dead.
And I'll never understand why the man
Standing in the Pearly Gates said...
"But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.
We're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war.
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for,
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more."
So much for stickers
OMFG
I can't even keep up with this
Pay no attention to that bush, moving around over there by that tree, it's just a bush. Nothing to look twice at. Nothing to be alarmed about. This looks like it could be gravy. I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang. Freeze gopher!
I haven't had this much fun in a long time on this board!
I think I'll watch Blazing Saddles tonight instead of watching the news to see if the world will end tomorrow.
Hey... I never claimed to be mature
I really tried not to show my preferences... but when others didn't hesitate to, why stay behind
I just voted. 10 minutes to get in and 15 to read all the prop info, DONE.
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
Hold it. The next man makes a move, the afro-american gets it...Drop it! For I swear, I'll blow this afro-american's head all over this town. Oh Lordy-lord, he's desperate. Do what he say. Do what he say.
We, the white, god-fearing citizens of Rock Ridge wish to express our extreme displeasure with your choice of sheriff. Please remove him immediately. The fact that you have sent him here just goes to prove that you are the leading asshole in the state.
I agree with Howard Johnson
If I start watching movies as soon as I get home, I might be done watching all the movies that have been quoted at about the same time the election gets decided. That's IF it gets decided tonight. It's a good thing I don't mind watching them multiple times!
damn near lost a four hundred dollar hand car!
Now come on boys, where's your spirit? I don't hear no singin'. When you were slaves, you sang like birds. Go on. How 'bout "a good ole work song?
Maybe I could turn this thing into my advantage if I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge that his very appearance would drive them out of town. (To the audience) But where would I find such a man? (gesturing) Why am I asking you?
Oh, Boyyys..
That's you admins. Can we please have humor and pet threads nailed. It's getting tiring using our best stuff just to break up the nasties..
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Everyone: Randolph Scott?
Everyone (sings): RANDOLPH SCOTT!
M
Qualifications?
Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
You said rape twice.
(gleefully) I like rape.
Charming. Sign right here.
Mount up, men! We'll head 'em off at the pass.
'Head them off at the pass?' I hate that cliche. (He fires his pistol into Taggart's left foot)
Ilsa : I wasn't sure you were the same. Let's see, the last time we met...
Rick : Was La Belle Aurore.
Ilsa : How nice, you remembered. But of course, that was the day the Germans marched into Paris.
Rick : Not an easy day to forget.
Ilsa : No.
Rick : I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.
Throw out your hands
Stick out your tush
Hands on your hips
Give 'em a push
You'll be surprised
You're doing the French Mistake!
Voila!
And now Princess Vespa, I have you in my clutches, to have my wicked way with you, the way I want to. No, no, go away, I hate you! And yet... I find you strangely attractive. Of course you do! Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power, and I have both, and you *know* it! No, no, leave me alone! No, kiss me! No! Stop! Yes, yes! Oh, oh, oh! Ohhhh, your helmet is so big!
Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again!
The white zone is for loading and unloading of pasengers only :finger2:
What's the avatar Sean, they trying to get your car finished for the '08 run?
=o0
m
The planet Spaceball has run out of air and have very little time left. Under the command of President Skroob and the evil Dark Helmet, they set out to break through the atmospheric shield of nearby Druidia and rob their air.
Their plan is to kidnap the Druidia princess Vespa and use her to get the code to release the shield. However, before Helmet can kidnap her, she is rescued by Lone Starr – who has taken the job to get enough money to pay off the ruthless Pizza the Hutt.
WE BRAKE FOR NOBODY
Pat Robertson:"Now stay with me on this one folks. Sally Struthers has a Tiberian junker, which is the favored ship of the Huts, and she has trapped our new CBC ship in a, uh, postronic tractor beam. So we're going to need an ionic tractor disruptor. Not a regular ionic tractor disruptor, but a negative ionic tractor disruptor to help spread the word of Jesus. [mutters] I look like a fuckin idiot up here."
-"Your Cuffs Your Cuffs I Don't Like Your Cuffs. A Man's Cuff's Should Be Even With The Tip Of His PeePee, Your's Are All The Way Down To Your Balls!"
"At Least I Have Mine."
"Bitch."
The show has been cancelled...but the adventure is just beginning.
We did our part. For the good, bad , or indifferent.. only time will tell.
I'd like to give a shout out to MarkV for being the most consistent anti-political, pro-Blazing Saddles poster ever. Congratulations!
I think I'll run out and rent "Blazing Saddles" now. Hey Dad, busy tonight?
Mer
It's twue, It's twue!
It's his avatar that absa lute lee kills m e.
M
Holy crap! I do some work for a while and look at what you've done to this thread!
Ok, that's it:
*****************
This thread is closed.
*****************
M
"With 10% of the precincts reporting, Nathan and Benny are leading in electoral and popular votes", Dan Rather.
(Kim: fixed it)
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Carl: If you'd've said 'dan rather', we'd've believed you.
Mer: I've got it -- time for a puppy for you!
kim.
Damnit! I closed this thread! Respect me! Look at my evilness!
<---------------------
You think I won't use my tremendous powers of.. nevermind my secret tremendous powers... you'd just be well off turning around, right now, and posting to another thread.
Please, don't make me angry.... you wouldn't like it when I'm angry.
M
Your mother and I have clearly been deficient in your education. We've failed to expose you to the more subtle, the delicate, the fine parts of American humor. Such exquisite delivery of timing and taste and you've yet to experience it. Poor dear.
Better go get it. I'd hate to spend the entire evening with nothing to do but wait for Nathan and Benny's victory party.
An Arkansas bulletin board....
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If you all don't start conforming, my plan may take longer than I had first thought.
M
meredith, you HAVE to have seen monty python right?
if not, your parents are guilty pf child abuse
No Monty Python, either. Should I call child services?
BUT, I just got back from Blockbuster. Blazing Saddles is showing tonight at the Cilker household! Woohoo!
Mer
It's only a silly little rabbit.....
Ohh....geez....my kids and wife came in with the news that Bush is ahead in the electoral count....they were chanting Kerry sucks.....I'm raining conservatives....shoot me now.....
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Bless that little blonde Army of Darkness.
I am offended by that picture mike, unless you also have a picture of your license.
Miles
With sharp pointy teeth!
Badges?! We don't need no stinkin badges!
ahh, you haven't missed much, mer. but then again, british humor confounds me entirely....
. . . on the count of three, not 3-1-2, nor 2-1-3.
(meebee I got those numbers mixed).
Favorite convo in a monty python movie:
"How are we doing today sir?"
"Better"
"Better?"
"Better get me a bucket, I'm going to be sick"
Ha, makes me laugh just thinking about that scene.
I'm here for the arguement.....
I went and Voted. I tossed one to Kerry, cause Utah is waay republican, and no Dem's ever come here to Campaign.
Its sad, but I want Utah to be a border state like Pen, and Florida!
I'm looking for the ministry of silly walks!
TIS BUT A FLESHWOUND!!!!! your ams off! no its not! youre a looney! im invincible! what, you gonna bleed on me?
come back and fight, you coward!
How can you tell he is the King?
He ain't got shit on him.
What .....is your favorite color?
Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaaaaagggh........
Abuse is down the hall....room 313....
anyone see the monty python mosquito hunting?
or the "art of not being seen!"
...and how shall we fuck off, oh Lord?
....and after the spankings.....
Anyone know 'burying the cat'?
M
Thanks Jenny needed to see a pic like that. My buddie died last week, made me smile
John
Oh Piss-boy...
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PISS BOY....WAIT for the shake.....
cheech and chong "save the whales! shoot the seals! save them big fat funky whales!"
He's expired..
M
I'd post a photo of a ROUS if I could find one, but then they aren't cute like Jenny's puppies or the parrot. Oh, I forgot, ROUS don't exist - I think!
Oh, they exist alright... Here's one I caught at last summer's camping trip. Cute little bugger, huh?
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I want a shrubbery!
Google-- ya gotta love it!!
Jen
Do rabbits eat shrubbery?
Mrs. Conclusion (Chapman): Hullo, Mrs. Premise.
Mrs. Premise (Cleese): Hullo, Mrs. Conclusion.
Conclusion: Busy Day?
Premise: Busy? I just spent four hours burying the cat.
Conclusion: *Four hours* to bury a cat?
Premise: Yes - it wouldn't keep still.
Conclusion: Oh - it wasn't dead, then?
Premise: No, no - but it's not at all well, so as we were going to be on the safe side.
Conclusion: Quite right - you don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat. It'd be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that's what I say. We're going to have to have our budgie put down.
Premise: Really - is it very old?
Conclusion: No, we just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow.
Premise: Tell me, how do they put budgies down, then?
Conclusion: Well, it's funny you should ask that, because I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.
Premise: Just there? Well, well, well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo.
Conclusion: No, you shouldn't do that - no, that's dangerous. They *breed* in the *sewers*!
LOL
(Sound: Church bells, lots of them, ringing.)
Man: I wish those bloody bells would stop.
Wife: Oh, it's quite nice dear, it's Sunday, it's the church.
M: What about us atheists? Why should we 'ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil?
W: You're a lapsed atheist, dear.
M: The principle's the same. The Mohmedans don't come 'round here wavin' bells at us! We don't get Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathroom! Or Hindus harmonizing in the hall! The Shintus don't come here shattering sheet glass in the shithouse, shouting slogans-
W: All right, don't practice your alliteration on me.
M: Anyway, when I membership card and blazer badge back from the League of Agnostics, I shall urge the executive to lodge a protest against that religious racket! Pass the butter knife!
W: WHAT??
M: PASS THE BUTTER KNIFE!! (pause) THANK YOU! IF ONLY WE HAD SOME KIND OF MISSILE!
W: 'OLD ON, I'LL CLOSE THE WINDOW.
M: WHAT?!
W: I SAID, I'LL CLOSE THE WINDOW!
(Sound: Window closing, bells get faint, but are still there)
M: If only we had some kind of missile, we could take the steam out of those bells.
W: Well, you could always use the number 14-St. Joseph-the-somewhat-divine-on-the-hill ballistic missile. It's in the attic.
M: What ballistic missile would this be, then?
(Sound: Bells begin to get increasingly louder)
W: I made it for you, it's your birthday present!
M: Just what I wanted, 'ow nice of you to remember, my pet.
'ERE!
W: WHAT?
M: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!
W: WHAT?
M: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!!
W: THE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER! OOOH, LOOK!
M: WHAT?
W: THE CHURCH, IT.. ITS COMING CLOSER! ITS COMING DOWN THE 'ILL!
M: WHAT A LIBERTY!
W: ITS TURNING INTO OUR LANE! WELL, YOU BETTER GO PUT IT OUT OF IT'S MISERY.
M: WHERE'S THIS MISSILE, THEN?
W: IT'S IN THE ATTIC. PRESS THE BUTTON MARKED CHURCH!
M: 'OW DO I AIM IT?
W: IT AUTOMATICALLY HOMES IN ON THE NEAREST PLACE OF WORSHIP!
M: BUT THAT'S ST. MARKS!
W: IT ISN'T NOW, LOOK!! OH, ITS OP'NING THE GATE.
M: WHAT? USE THE MEGAPHONE!
W: IT'S OP'NING THE GATE!! 'HURRY UP, ITS TRAMPLING OVER THE AZALIAS!
(Sound: Missle launch, explosion, bells diminish)
M: Did I 'it it?
W: Yes, right up the aisle.
M: Well I've always said, There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he really doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.
SLITS. Man, get a life. I know you are a bit out there but what drugs are you on?
We let SLITS hang cause it makes Redshift look calm in comparison.....
"Mind if we call you Bruce?"
Shop smart. Shop S mart"
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If elected I will not run, if nominated I will not elected.
M
this parrot has ceased to be!
"Now somebody has to go back and get a shitload of dimes!"
I'm proud to report that Meredith has seen the light. She looked for humor in a dvd and Mel Brooks delivered again!
Mel Brooks and Monty Python... that's the ticket!
"She turned me into a newt!......well, I got better."
I've seen the light! Great movie, that one. Next up, Young Frankenstein and Monty Python. Apparently, I have a lot of catching up to do.
I see I missed most of the fun after I left work
Thanks guys for lightening everything up.
Oh and Mer you have just received your formal education on all things quotable in the movies.
This weekend is:
1) History of the world Part I
2) Monty Python ; The Holy Grail
3) Blazing Saddles
I think that will have to be it or I won't get anything else done.
Thanks to all of you that voted. If you don't think your vote counts....well look at Ohio.
As soon as I have the time, I swear I'll watch those movies. But right now, I have to go to class, then work, then the grocery store, then help cook Dad's birthday dinner. Today's going to be a tad busy.
Do not miss the Life of Brain... that is so insanely funny.
M
back on topic, kerry conceded
Also back on topic, I am beseeching each and every one of you to refrain from voicing who you voted for, who should have won and who sucks.
The end.
I voted for NADER I HATE YOU ALL
AHHH HA so your the reason why the election turned out the way it did Miles
this is all I have to say
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I agree with Mer, I won't say who we voted for, but the election process always amazes me. I think Kerry is wise to not fight and drag this out. But doesn't it take a few weeks to get all the absentee ballots counted?
I think at this point even if the majority of the absentee ballots were for Kerry, he still wouldn't win.
For the non-winners:
This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land
Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah
There's danger on the edge of town
Ride the King's highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby
Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he's old, and his skin is cold
The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest
The blue bus is callin' us
The blue bus is callin' us
Driver, where you taken' us
The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...I want to...____ you
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
C'mon, yeah
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill
This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die
This is the end
"Snake Plisken... I thought you were dead."
Bartender, bring two of what he's having
Miles drives an Otto's Corvair.....................................................
Hi,
Just a quick note to thank you all for a wild and fun rollercoaster of a thread for the last day and a half. Amid all the consternation over voting, politics and such, it was a relief to check in here and be amazed at the mix of thoughts, observations and humor each of you posted.
Several times our receptionist wondered about the laughter coming from my office. It was nothing I could explain to her.
The creativity of this group is contagious.
I had Fun! May the Schwartz be with you.
I see your schwartz is as big as mine:
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For those election nite blues.............................................
Careful you idiot I said across her nose, not UP IT!" "Sorry, Sir, I'm doing my best." "Who made that man a gunner?" "I did, Sir,he's my cousin." "Who's he?" "He's an Asshole sir" "I know that. What's his name?" "That is his name sir, Asshole, Major Asshole" "And his cousin?" "He's an asshole too, Sir, Gunner's Mate, First Class, Phillip Asshole." "How many Assholes we got on this anyhow?" "YO!" "I knew it, i'm surrounded by Assholes!" CHINK! "Keep firing Assholes!"
Just when I thought it was safe... this thread picks up again! The thread that won't die! I'm sitting here watching Jake reassemble a Type IV motor. Nice guy, that Jake, but his video is not nearly as entertaining as any of the movies mentioned above! I haven't laughed even once!
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