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Posted by: bandjoey Dec 21 2013, 09:12 AM

For all you flyers:

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in,fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness, and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

Posted by: walterolin Dec 21 2013, 09:23 AM

Classic misdirection joke - you don't see it coming.

Another winter, Santa was having a bad time. The elves went on strike, production was way behind, Santa had a terrible case of the flu, Rudolf ran off for a time, and a nasty winter storm was coming in.

He finally got everything in the sleigh, opened the barn door and cracked his whip, and the right runner broke off (rust?) and all of the presents and Santa spilled out on the floor of the barn.

About that time a sweet little angel came around the corner and asked "Santa where do you want me to put this tree?"

And that, children, is why we have an angel on the top of our Christmas tree.

Posted by: ClayPerrine Dec 21 2013, 10:09 AM

QUOTE(bandjoey @ Dec 21 2013, 09:12 AM)

For all you flyers:

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in,fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness, and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

The FAA would never allow this. Santa doesn't have a type certification for his sleigh, so he is using an Experimental Aircraft for commercial purposes. If he does have a type certification, then he needs the STC for adding Rudolph.

He probably doesn't have an airworthiness certificate for the sleigh either. Or a transponder, or full IFR equipment. If he doesn't, he can't fly at night, in bad weather, or especially into a major city with an international airport.

And do you really think that that overweight old man could pass a FAA medical check for commercial pilots? With all the cookies he eats, he is probably diabetic. That means no medical.

Landing on rooftops would be strictly forbidden.

And last, but not least.....

The rednecks would get out the shotguns and practice skeet shooting. Then have venison for Christmas dinner.

Posted by: Elliot Cannon Dec 21 2013, 06:41 PM

My IA/A&P happens to do all the annual inspections on Santa's sleigh and I know first hand, all the STC's, airworthiness directives, service bulletins etc. have been complied with and not only is Santa typed in the Sleigh but has a waiver for low level aerobatics.
Merry Christmas everyone.

Posted by: ClayPerrine Dec 21 2013, 06:43 PM

QUOTE(Elliot Cannon @ Dec 21 2013, 06:41 PM)

My IA/A&P happens to do all the annual inspections on Santa's sleigh and I know first hand, all the STC's, airworthiness directives, service bulletins etc. have been complied with and not only is Santa typed in the Sleigh but has a waiver for low level aerobatics.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Yea, but that doesn't fix the Rednecks with shotguns wanting venison for Christmas dinner.

Posted by: Elliot Cannon Dec 21 2013, 06:44 PM

QUOTE(bandjoey @ Dec 21 2013, 07:12 AM)

For all you flyers:

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in,fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness, and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

One of my favorites.

I love it. My animal loving Sister-in-law however doesn't.

Posted by: Elliot Cannon Dec 21 2013, 06:45 PM

QUOTE(ClayPerrine @ Dec 21 2013, 04:43 PM)