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Posted by: JtoTheBeezy Aug 17 2014, 12:47 PM

I've seen these on the car forums and theyre usually pretty funny. I searched for one on here already and couldnt find one. Here's how you play. Ill start.

Wow this engine is so acseasable!

I sure wish I had another trunk!

This back seat sure is roomy!

Hey look my valve covers are dry!

Things of this nature. Play on!

Posted by: soltino Aug 17 2014, 12:59 PM

Hey man is that a Ferrari?

tino

Posted by: Jonathan Livesay Aug 17 2014, 01:00 PM

100% rust free.

Posted by: patssle Aug 17 2014, 01:04 PM

I bet that car kicks ass at the drag strip!

Posted by: balljoint Aug 17 2014, 02:05 PM

Nope. I have had that question.

Posted by: Gustl Aug 17 2014, 02:36 PM

me too ...

Posted by: PThompson509 Aug 17 2014, 02:47 PM

Wow, it seems so dry inside!

Posted by: iamchappy Aug 17 2014, 02:49 PM

I have had a few people ask me that.....

Posted by: Porschef Aug 17 2014, 03:12 PM

It's HUGE!!!

Posted by: Hank914 Aug 17 2014, 03:20 PM

"This car feels so safe, I bet it ranks high in the accident safety rating charts."

Posted by: JawjaPorsche Aug 17 2014, 03:26 PM

Hang on to that car. It is going to be worth a fortunate some day.

Posted by: mobymutt Aug 17 2014, 03:36 PM

It sure is pretty!

Well, OK, I've said that.

Posted by: matthepcat Aug 17 2014, 03:39 PM

The car shifts so precise and smooth.

Posted by: Mike Bellis Aug 17 2014, 04:22 PM

"I'll trade you straight across for my GT3."

Posted by: dudzy's914 Aug 17 2014, 04:42 PM

"Wow!, this car is so reliable!"

Posted by: Chris H. Aug 17 2014, 05:31 PM

"Felt a little heavy. Boring handling."

Posted by: walterolin Aug 17 2014, 05:55 PM

Now that's a real Porsche.

Posted by: Wdunster Aug 17 2014, 06:05 PM

"My suit fits perfect on the clothes hook"

Posted by: ripper911 Aug 17 2014, 06:16 PM

it must be for something besides clothing.

Posted by: ice cold Aug 17 2014, 06:36 PM

Looks expensive.

Posted by: Chris H. Aug 17 2014, 06:38 PM

"That is definitely NOT a Fiat."

Posted by: bembry Aug 17 2014, 08:54 PM

Plenty of people SAY that...they're just stupid or lying their ass off though (or have a real time capsule, which is pretty damn rare)

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 17 2014, 09:15 PM

I got that all the time with my red one.

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 17 2014, 09:16 PM

All my lady friends: "It's so cute!"

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 17 2014, 09:18 PM

Said today my friend, model/designer Alexandra who is one of the models for a shoot with my LE: "It's so powerful! I heard it inside the house when you pulled up!"

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 17 2014, 09:22 PM

Everybody who's never seen one: "How fast does it go? How much horsepower does it have?"
Me: "Fast enough. Enough."

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 17 2014, 09:27 PM

Smart-ass jackasses who only consider 911s: "Those are really just Volkswagens, right?"

Posted by: falcor75 Aug 17 2014, 10:38 PM

The engine in this car is really way to powerfull for the chassis.....

Posted by: JtoTheBeezy Aug 17 2014, 10:42 PM

Its things people DONT say about 914s. It makes it fun and witty. Better than just a thread of us itchin' and moanin'

Wow my fuel injection is super easy to diagnose!

quote name='tumamilhem' date='Aug 17 2014, 08:18 PM' post='2075103']
Said today my friend, model/designer Alexandra who is one of the models for a shoot with my LE: "It's so powerful! I heard it inside the house when you pulled up!"
[/quote]

Posted by: Pursang Aug 17 2014, 11:41 PM

"I would sell the '87 Carrera and keep that." Well, no one would say THAT. Except that is exactly what I said and did. It was love. I've owned the 914 for 27 years and sold the 911 after 14.

Posted by: VegasRacer Aug 17 2014, 11:50 PM

The air is always so fresh and clean when you turn on the heater.

Posted by: Mr Pharmacist Aug 18 2014, 05:26 AM

Those are just volkswagens so the parts must be cheap, right?

Posted by: Chris H. Aug 18 2014, 05:29 AM

"It's so QUIET! Is it even RUNNING?????"

Posted by: johannes Aug 18 2014, 06:24 AM

Is it a four ? ...


...

Posted by: rgalla9146 Aug 18 2014, 06:50 AM

Looks fast !

Posted by: era vulgaris Aug 18 2014, 07:30 AM

What's up with the shifter? Everytime I put it in first gear the car goes backwards.

Posted by: Alapone Aug 18 2014, 07:48 AM

I think I have FINALLY stopped collecting parts for my next 914 project

Posted by: greenie Aug 18 2014, 09:36 AM

"Wow I bet that car is a real chick magnet"

Posted by: ripper911 Aug 18 2014, 09:50 AM

It's faster than I thought it would be.

Posted by: peteyd Aug 18 2014, 10:17 AM

Hey, that thing got a HEMI in it?

Posted by: wndsnd Aug 18 2014, 10:18 AM

Let's leather it all up.

Oh, someone did do that.

John

Posted by: naro914 Aug 18 2014, 10:25 AM

"Thats not a fair race!! I only have a GT3, you got a 914!"

Posted by: Chris H. Aug 18 2014, 10:29 AM

Dang it's REALLY EASY to find first gear!

Posted by: naro914 Aug 18 2014, 10:32 AM

LOL...funny but true story about that...we owned our 914 for about a month before I knew it actually HAD a first gear! Drove it from Colorado to NJ using only 2-5. Thought it was a 4 speed. Then one day, sitting at a light I was messing around with the gear shifter with my foot on the clutch, and Whoops...what's this gear down under my leg? I let out the clutch and WOW...all the torque/power!!! (ok, relative to starting in 2nd!!) Whole new appreciation for the car!!

Posted by: Chris H. Aug 18 2014, 10:38 AM

LOL!

How about "I've NEVER ground first gear! is it made of 'ungrind-ium'?"

Posted by: poorsche914 Aug 18 2014, 10:47 AM

"I'm going to update my -6 with some late model bumpers."

Posted by: JamesM Aug 18 2014, 10:51 AM

The styling is just to round for me.

Posted by: AfricanHijinx Aug 18 2014, 11:28 AM

I never miss shift gears

my friend once told me it one step up from a Miata on the "gay" scale. we are not friends anymore

Posted by: Johns914 Aug 18 2014, 12:59 PM

I never have to clean the garage floor under it.

Posted by: struckn Aug 18 2014, 07:32 PM

I just bought at Walmart a 1/18th Scale Die Cast Model of a 914, they have every color.

Posted by: EyeTrip Aug 18 2014, 07:35 PM

I can see over traffic

Posted by: johannes Aug 19 2014, 01:19 AM

- Way too much power ! You should put a type four in your six ...

- All those subarus should convert to a type four !...

- Ever thought about putting a type four in your chevy ?

Posted by: partwerks Aug 19 2014, 05:09 AM

Which is the front, and which is the back?

Posted by: boxsterfan Aug 19 2014, 09:18 AM

"That Chalon kit looks great!!

Posted by: Larmo63 Aug 19 2014, 09:34 AM

They really made the 914 look a LOT better with those modern bumpers in 1975!!!!

Posted by: Beeliner Aug 19 2014, 05:39 PM

My girlfriend/fiancé /wife loved them......(same person)

Posted by: eric9144 Aug 19 2014, 05:46 PM

"You know, they're starting to put those Type IV's into Subaru's--I hear they're amazing"

Posted by: Cupomeat Aug 19 2014, 10:00 PM

Ok, I've actually had this one said to me.

Funny, but true.

Posted by: JmuRiz Aug 20 2014, 07:49 AM

I think you mis-heard them....they said "is that a Fiero?"

Posted by: JmuRiz Aug 20 2014, 07:51 AM

Some of them do...that'd be the funny answer.

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 20 2014, 08:20 AM

You really only need one. Sucks for those 911 guys who have to have 2 or 3 parts cars. SUCKERS!

Posted by: Sleepin Aug 20 2014, 08:21 AM

"I never knew anyone that had one of these, even back in the day."

Posted by: veekry9 Aug 20 2014, 12:50 PM

Golly..That sounds like a Maserati.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=318qKfPtqWo

A conversion to modern fi may improve.

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 20 2014, 01:38 PM

With two trunks for the kids, there's room for the whole family!

Posted by: veekry9 Aug 20 2014, 02:10 PM

With two trunks..an inventive guy put 2 twinturbo engines into his Alfa coupe.
You know,to double the power and get 4 whl drive as a bonus.
PPC mag in the UK.
http://www.ppcmag.co.uk/
Some kindred wrenchers.

Posted by: rgalla9146 Aug 20 2014, 04:58 PM

Parts ? No problem ! They have EVERYTHING at the NAPA store.

Posted by: eric9144 Aug 20 2014, 05:11 PM

Ever use those jackstands?

Posted by: Larmo63 Aug 20 2014, 05:12 PM

"Do you need a ladder to get up and into that thing?"

Posted by: KELTY360 Aug 20 2014, 05:30 PM

Is that a 4 wheel drive?

Posted by: Sleepin Aug 20 2014, 09:55 PM

That's the fast Porsche, right?

Posted by: Phoenix914 Aug 21 2014, 06:20 AM

I heard those are real easy to work on.

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 21 2014, 07:55 AM

Now THAT'S a REAL Porsche!

Posted by: Dave_Darling Aug 21 2014, 09:01 AM

"Dave has one of those. And it runs."

--DD

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 21 2014, 09:46 AM

Real Porsches only take 4 qts of oil. Not 10 qts like that silly-looking, underpowered 911.

Posted by: dcheek Aug 21 2014, 09:46 AM

"It's amazing, after 38 years not one rattle!"

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 21 2014, 09:46 AM

We've got 3 more numbers that a 911 so NYAH.

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 21 2014, 09:53 AM

A 911... HA! Who the hell wants one of those? Unless you want a poor man's "Porsche" (VW) and that's all you can afford. Like those are going to last. 914s will be around for at least 50 years and even then they'll be more popular than ever.

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 21 2014, 09:56 AM

A 914 will cost as much as your house. New ones will got for more than $100,000. Some even half a million! Save your entire retirement fund and buy a 911. You can pick up a good runner up for $5K.

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 21 2014, 10:00 AM

You can't race a 911. Not seriously. With that engine in the back that thing will slide all over the place. Not to mention it's SLOW. Yeah sure, it's "fun to drive", like a big go cart. But it's not a race car. It's not a REAL Porsche. It's a half-breed joke.

914s are REAL race cars. With the engine in the middle, the handling on the track is exceptional. And theya e so powerful, they had to keep under-powering them because you couldn't even keep them on the road! They started with the 914-6. Well good luck trying to drive that beast with 110 hp! They had to get rid of that thing! Woa, slow down there, Johnny! Let's try a 1.7! Wait, STILL too much. Let's go 1.8 with even fewer ponies. Okay, NOW we can drive it! Whew! :/

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 21 2014, 10:04 AM

The 911 is a fad. A trend. A laughable one at that. They won't last. Maybe just a small band of enthusiasts. And they will only be into them because that's the only "Porsche" (chuckles) that they could afford in the first place.

The 914 will be the longest running sports car in history. Porsche will improve upon it's mid-engine design year after year, after decade after decade. It will be the brand's flagship model and dominate the racing circuit. You'll see.

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 21 2014, 10:15 AM

914s get you laid. A LOT. It's the ultimate chick magnet. Young, old, even lesbians will do you in a 914.

911s get you a small group of dorky, slightly overweight, middle-aged married men who spend all their money on a "hobby" that never gets finished, end up having to sell them because they have to put their kid through school to be smarter than they were for buying a 911. The ones that refuse to get rid of them (they aren't worth much to begin with) will get together once in a year to celebrate their "really cool little cars" that they'll never really be able to finish or fix up. In fact, most of them won't even come because their 911s are still on jack stands after so many years. They'll even give this "fest" a cutsey "German" name that no German would ever cal it - Okteenerfest.

And then they'll have this "Okteenerfest" in September. Stupid.

Posted by: tumamilhem Aug 21 2014, 10:17 AM

The nice thing about these old cars as opposed to newer cars, there's so much room to work on them under the hood!

Posted by: soltino Aug 21 2014, 12:37 PM

Excellent comeback WDITOT?

Have you seen a teener to Fiero Conversion? (-%

tino

Posted by: Sleepin Aug 21 2014, 01:58 PM

These targa tops never squeak and are water tight!

Only two trunks? My car has three.

Posted by: BIGKAT_83 Aug 21 2014, 02:06 PM

Damn its been so long since I've used my jackstands. I forgot where I put them.

Posted by: JtoTheBeezy Aug 23 2014, 12:35 PM

This Targa top is annoying. I wish 914's were hardtop...

Posted by: green914 Aug 23 2014, 12:45 PM

Posted by: Larmo63 Aug 23 2014, 01:51 PM

"I heard the green ones are the fastest...."