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Posted by: trekkor Mar 6 2005, 03:54 PM

I love to talk to people, don't you?
Sometimes people get excited and are happy to insert a wealth of profanity into their every sentence.

You can't just stick you fingers in your ears or slide a bar of soap into their mouth.

How can you tactfully say, " I like talking with you, but I don't appreciate the choice of language"?

Help me with this sensitive matter.

KT

Posted by: nebreitling Mar 6 2005, 04:05 PM

you just tell them, dude.

if they're tough enough to swear like a sailor than they're tough enough not to get their feelings hurt.

nate

p.s. sorry if i used some poor language around you!!

Posted by: wrpspddrvr Mar 6 2005, 04:11 PM

Tell 'em to stop using such dirty damn language!

Cole

Posted by: trekkor Mar 6 2005, 04:17 PM

Joke about if you like or flame me down.

I like people and don't like to make them feel bad or uncomfortable.

I don't want come across as "I'm better than you" or judgemental.

I choose to be selective in my vocabulary and make a strong effort to respect people's feelings.

KT

Posted by: trekkor Mar 6 2005, 04:20 PM

I'm talking about face to face, not this forum BTW.

Trying to censor just becomes a shouting match, flame-a-thon and we all feel bad.

KT

Posted by: Aaron Cox Mar 6 2005, 04:20 PM

say "hey, i know its your right to swear, but you are my friend and i'd appreciate it if you dont use language in front of me"

if they are truely your friend, theyll respect that

Posted by: seanery Mar 6 2005, 04:21 PM

I'd just tell them politely that you don't use those words and you'd appreciate it if they would try not to when talking to you.

I'm pretty crass sometimes, but there are some words I really don't like to use, so I can understand.

Posted by: davep Mar 6 2005, 04:22 PM

Just say 'Please, profanity turns me off.' Quietly and with a sigh.

Posted by: Headrage Mar 6 2005, 04:23 PM

I understand how you feel. I spread my fair share of four letter words around but I know some people don't know when it's not appropriate. I work in construction so when I am in the field I will get alot of it when I'm talking to the crafts. If it goes on during the wrong time I'll throw something out there like "you kiss your mother with that mouth" and see if it stops. If not I'll just come right out and tell them that I'll wait to talk to them later when they can control it.

Posted by: tat2dphreak Mar 6 2005, 04:26 PM

QUOTE (Aaron Cox @ Mar 6 2005, 05:20 PM)

say "hey, i know its your right to swear, but you are my friend and i'd appreciate it if you dont use language in front of me" if they are truely your friend, theyll respect that

I can be the "sailor" at times, and an honest approach is best.... just say "I'm sorry, but do you mind... " and usually, people like me don't realize they are going overboard... esp. if I'm angry or riled up about something... they will understand

Posted by: 415PB Mar 6 2005, 04:47 PM

Posted by: d914 Mar 6 2005, 04:48 PM

hey I'm an old jerseyguy, to us its not swearing, sometimes we just need a reminder that we are hanging out with normal people...

Posted by: spare time toys Mar 6 2005, 04:51 PM

Try like we do in the hanger."Hey dumb ass wanna clean it up a bit" It works

Posted by: morphenspectra Mar 6 2005, 05:29 PM

be polite .... but forward.tell em you dont like it
james

Posted by: scotty b Mar 6 2005, 05:33 PM

Fingers in ears, eyes shut and " LALALALALALALALALA"
otherwise konwn as "the Vancome lady"

Posted by: Gint Mar 6 2005, 06:30 PM

Just remember Trekkor, you'll never get it if you don't ask for it.

You have as much right to have a profanity free conversation as your "friend" does to use profanity. If you don't appreciate it, you need to say so. If they value their realtionship with you, they will respect your wishes.

So tell the m)*&^!fu*^%# to eat s@#t and shut the f^&% u!

Posted by: vsg914 Mar 6 2005, 06:58 PM

QUOTE (trekkor @ Mar 6 2005, 03:54 PM)

How can you tactfully say, " I like talking with you, but I don't appreciate the choice of language"?

I think you already fiqured it out. That's about as tactful and truthful as you can get.

I had and "ex" employee who insisted on using that kinda language anytime there was a female around. Problem was, those females were my customers. I wasn't very tactful. I told him (in front of one of them) to clean it up or hit the road. He was gone ten minutes later, and good riddance!!!!

Chances are, he's been talking like that all his life and learned it from his dad. If he can't accept a little contructive critisim, and your honesty in wanting to protect the friendship, He's prolly not that good a friend anyway.

Now, I'm gonna go throw some rocks at the prick running up and down the street at 40mph on his 4 wheeler with open pipes!

Posted by: Lawrence Mar 6 2005, 07:00 PM

I don't cuss like a sailor... I cuss like a soldier.

Seriously, though. Sometimes my mouth gets pretty foul, and sometimes I forget where I am and just talk like I'm out in the field, emplacing weapons on the perimeter.

I *know* that profanity is a sign of a mind lazy/not creative enough to come up with other ways to say things... but I still do it.

I appreciate it when someone says to me... "dude, enough with the F-word."

-Rusty

Posted by: balljoint Mar 6 2005, 07:02 PM

I always say: "I know that you were raised to speak that way, but please Grandma, don't cuss in front of the refrigerator."

Posted by: cgnj Mar 6 2005, 07:18 PM

Hi,

After 3 years in the Army, after i was home, my best friend told me that he didn't think I could talk if I couldn't use the f word in a sentence. I was not offended and I realized how versatile the f word is and how imbedded into my speech pattern it had become. I didn't even noticed that I used it that much. Anyway, it was some of the best advice I had ever recieved.

Carlos

Posted by: PatW Mar 6 2005, 07:26 PM

QUOTE (trekkor @ Mar 6 2005, 01:54 PM)

You can't just stick you fingers in your ears or slide a bar of soap into their mouth. Help me with this sensitive matter. KT

I'd say. "What the #$#%$%$ is up with your %$#^$$7&^$% stupid language".

Be straight with them.. I used to have a guy that worked for me who stank BO real bad, and no one had the guts to tell him. Finaly I had enough so I waited for the right moment and told him "you f'in stink" in front of my whole crew. He got the message and later thanked me for being honest with him.

Pat

Posted by: trekkor Mar 6 2005, 08:51 PM

Thank you for your helpful replies.

KT