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Posted by: Ansbacher Aug 1 2017, 12:20 PM

For your entertainment and newbie education, I offer some frequently used classified ad terms and their corresponding translations. Yes, I am guilty myself of using a couple of these over the years (who hasn't?). I'm sure the list will be expanded!

"Driver Quality" - A part I removed from my driver because it is worn out and unpresentable.

"Was running when parked" - All cars ran before they were parked, even those with catastrophic engine failure.

"Could use a re-spray" - A full blown, high cost paint job will be needed.

"Rust Free" - I am not charging extra for the rust.

"Tastefully Custom" - Yeah, if your taste is garish, loud, and pimpish.

"Best Offer" - Should read "Best I Will Accept". Your offer means nothing to me.

"O.E.M." - Other East Asian Manufacturer a.k.a. "Junk"

"Professionally Maintained" - A Car maintained by a doctor or lawyer by taking it to incompetent rip-off "Import Shops".

"Needs TLC" - A car that has been neglected for the past ten years and will require thousands of dollars to get back on the road.

Posted by: Mikey914 Aug 1 2017, 12:48 PM

Funny,
There is a company that makes parts that uses OEM before the part number.
Bingo

Posted by: Chris914n6 Aug 1 2017, 01:48 PM

These are mine

"Fresh oil change" - Last guy low balled because oil was black.

"Runs Great!" - Didn't used to but I finally fixed it after the last guy low balled.

"New brakes" - replaced pads with the cheapest at Autozone.

"Clean" - I just washed and vacuumed it for the first time since I bought it.

"Tinted" - Limo tinted all windows so you can't see out at night.

"Easy fix" - If you are a professional, too complicated for anyone I know to do.

"Just needs" - Car is a POS that I'm not putting anymore money into, not even the $25 part to make it run right.

"Check engine light on" - Won't pass smog, I don't have money to fix, been parked for weeks and HOA is on my ass.

"Mechanics Special" - I can't lie... I've beat the crap out of it since I bought it.

"Oil changed every 3000 miles" - I'm lying out my ass because I'm dumb enough to think you will believe it.

Posted by: mobymutt Aug 1 2017, 02:10 PM

What about the classic "lady driven"? I could never figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Posted by: Ed_Turbo Aug 1 2017, 02:18 PM

QUOTE(Ansbacher @ Aug 1 2017, 11:20 AM)

Posted by: Ed_Turbo Aug 1 2017, 02:34 PM

Here are some funny car ads my friends sent me that you guys might like

Posted by: Mark Henry Aug 1 2017, 03:26 PM

Kijiji, our version of CL, cars for sale translation guide:

Needs water pump: Blown head gasket.

Needs radiator: Blown head gasket.

Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.

Great commuter car: Blown head gasket.

Runs a little warm: Blown head gasket.

Idles rough: Blown head gasket.

Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.

Drips a little water: Blown head gasket.

Smokes on startup: Blown head gasket.

Mechanic's special: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel. And blown head gasket.

Fixer-upper: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel and window cranks. And blown head gasket.

Needs head gasket: Engine block in several pieces

One of X made: Tercel Black Hawk, or Daewoo Nubira wagon in Barney Purple.

Rat Rod: Ugly.

One of a kind: Very ugly.

Call between (times): Will not answer, will not return calls.

Classic: Rusty.

Slight rust: Even tires and glass are rusting.

Ferrari: Fiero-based kit car.

Lamborghini: Fiero-based kit car.

Porsche 917: Air-cooled Beetle-based kit car.

Maserati: Chrysler TC

Lotus: Isuzu I-Mark.

Corolla: Prizm.

Needs battery: Wiring harness destroyed in electrical fire.

Must sell today: Will take six weeks to respond to contact attempts.

Have all receipts: Has 1996 receipt for fan belt.

Bill of sale only: Stolen.

Posted by: krazykonrad Aug 2 2017, 11:13 AM

Starts right up: Currently on fire

Posted by: 914Sixer Aug 2 2017, 11:33 AM

Keep going, it is getting better all the time

Posted by: theer Aug 2 2017, 12:01 PM

"Low miles for its age" = replace every rubber bit
"Never raced" = at a track.

Posted by: worn Aug 2 2017, 12:21 PM

No rust= floors and trunk missing - and blown head gasket
rare= this is the only one with all of the aftermarket crap stuck on with hot glue.

Posted by: Mike Fitton Aug 2 2017, 01:23 PM

Rare Color Combination: Ugly
Never driven in the rain: Not driveable
Should cleanup nicely: Not really I already tried
Typical Porsche oil leaks: Will need to add to oil on most short trips
Rust Free: You can't see any in the pictures provided
Not in a hurry to sell: "F'ckin A" I am desperate
Want it to go to a good home: Who ever pays the most money gets it
Always Garaged: On blocks most of its life
Growing Family Need Bigger Car: Now even my kids want me to get rid of it

Posted by: sb914 Aug 2 2017, 02:10 PM

Previously owned by "little old lady" .
That never maintained! Funny there's a commercial showing little old lady that drives crazy!

Posted by: 90quattrocoupe Aug 2 2017, 02:27 PM

Don't knock it. The old lady thing works. My wife got premium dollars for her low mileage 2008 R32 because it was driven by a little old retired school teacher.

Greg W

Posted by: sb914 Aug 2 2017, 02:34 PM

QUOTE(90quattrocoupe @ Aug 2 2017, 01:27 PM)

Posted by: Mark Henry Aug 2 2017, 03:12 PM

One for Porsche and VW...
Absolutely no rust on the rear of the body = rear end is totally covered in oily goo.

Posted by: Shadowfax Aug 2 2017, 03:26 PM

"Won't last long" -- Engine will blow up or wheels fall off on the drive home

Posted by: sb914 Aug 2 2017, 03:36 PM

Almost new !