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914World.com _ 914World Garage _ OT. Help the single guys out here
Posted by: Brett W Jun 21 2005, 12:10 PM
I call BS. Sounds like it would attrack the high maintainence type.
| QUOTE |
| 10 things every single man must own By Matt Schneiderman Want to impress the ladies with your great taste in home décor and more? Skip the leather couch and silk boxers and buy these bachelor essentials. 1. A top-notch coffee/espresso maker Any girl who’s at your place for dinner (or lounging in your bed come morning) deserves a classier send-off than “see ya,” so trade in your college-days $20 coffee maker for a machine that’ll give Starbucks a run for its money. The professional-quality Delonghi “Caffe Figaro” Coffee/Espresso Machine ($230, macys.com) uses steam pressure to brew a superior espresso; the built-in milk frother allows her to request a latte or cappuccino. Toss in a $20 electric grinder—fresh grounds are a must for a quality caffeine fix—and you'll make her feel like a princess without breaking out the whole breakfast-in-bed shtick. 2. A lamp in your bedroom Raise your hand if the only source of light in your bedroom is that garish overhead fixture that was there when you first moved in. Now, all of you, go out and buy a bedside lamp with a fabric shade. This inexpensive trifle is not lost on women, who not only see it as a sign of your civility (imagine that, a light switch within arm’s reach vs. across the room!), she’ll also feel much more comfortable under its softer, more forgiving glow. (Ikea.com has a large selection in the $10 to $40 range that should satisfy any man’s tastes without siphoning his savings.) 3. Swiffer Sweeper + Swiffer Cloths + Swiffer Wet Cloths For her, walking across your floor barefoot should not be an exercise in muck tolerance. To that end, the Swiffer is the greatest thing to happen to the lazy man since the remote control. As simple as this cloth-on-a-stick looks, the electrostatically charged sheets suck up dust, hair and dirt in no time, and the Wet Cloths will make quick work of your bathroom floor—a necessity if you ever want her to visit again. 4. A comfortable couch Repeat after me: You do not need a black leather couch. Skip the cliché and pick out a plush upholstered sofa, like the simple, elegant, under $1,000 Mercer at Roomandboard.com. And no matter what style you buy, play it safe and pick a neutral or muted color, then purchase a couple of pillows with stripes or a bold, masculine pattern to jazz it up and prove you aren’t your average lug when it comes to home décor. 5. Nice underwear When it comes to your love life, the last thing you want is for your underwear to be a mood-killer, and trust me, the following selections will make her recoil: Tighty whities; underwear featuring cartoon characters, or anything that resembles what a woman would wear. (Bikini briefs? Heaven help you.) Even silk boxers, no matter how nice, can send a sleazy vibe, so stick with something basic, like Calvin Klein cotton boxers or boxer briefs. Splurge on at least two weeks' worth and throw out the others, lest you’re tempted to don a ratty pair and put off doing laundry—you never know when opportunity will strike. 6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything Sure, your power-tool collection is outstanding—but it'll do you no good sitting in your closet when your date's sunglasses come apart at the restaurant. Show off how useful you can be by whipping out the tiny-but-powerful Leatherman Micra key-ring (leatherman.com). The two-and-a-half-inch, 1.75-ounce stainless-steel multi-tool combines scissors, tweezers, nail file, ruler, bottle opener, three screwdrivers, and a blade (of course). You’ll be amazed how indispensable it (and you, by extension) will become to her. 7. $150+ jeans Why cough up that much dough when you can find a seemingly-fine pair for much less? Because designer denim does make a difference—and you can wear them everywhere from a dive bar to a five-star restaurant, if paired with the right shirt and suit jacket. Check out stores that carry Diesel, Evisu, Paper Denim & Cloth, or Seven. Since every pair of jeans fits differently, you will need to try a few on: Err on the side of too tight as opposed to too baggy, as jeans do stretch a bit as they are broken in. Choose a pair that isn't too trendy (warning signs include more than five pockets, garish stitching, and too much "distress," like rips or bleaching) unless you're willing to buy into next season's style as well. 8. $200+ dress shoes Accept it: Girls are into footwear, and your feet will be one of the first things she looks at. Invest in quality black leather tie-ups—which will never go out of fashion and will match with most any jeans, pants or suit—to make a great first impression every time. If she knows her shoes, she'll be hoping to find you could afford a pair of Bruno Magli, Kenneth Cole, Steve Madden, or John Varvatos. Sure, they’re not cheap, but hey, it could be worse: We could be the ones in heels. 9. 300-thread-count cotton sheets Let’s face it: You (and hopefully your date) will be spending a lot of quality time here. So skip the scratchy polyester blends and splurge on some 100-percent Egyptian cotton sheets with a thread count of 300—the higher the thread count, the softer the sheet. It’ll run you around $120 for a queen-size set (for a good selection, check out bedbathandbeyond.com), but anything that might keep her in bed longer is worth the expense, right? 10. The Joy of Cooking Few things are sexier than a guy who can cook…but if toasting Pop-Tarts is the extent of your expertise? Then get Joy, the bible of all cookbooks since, unlike its trendier, more specialized alternatives like Nigella Lawson or Rocco DiSpirito, it contains recipes for just about anything you could think to make, all laid out with instructions that even an alien from another planet could figure out. So go ahead, invite her over for something simple (vegetarian chili, for instance) or exotic (Chicken Kiev, anyone?) and learn that the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach, too. |
Posted by: MikeP Jun 21 2005, 12:16 PM
can you imagine putting that much work into a relationship, day in and day out...oh wait a second my girlfriend is calling me.
Posted by: Jeroen Jun 21 2005, 12:17 PM
Dude, I'm worried that you're even reading crap like that...
Posted by: Randal Jun 21 2005, 12:18 PM
Oh boy.
Which guy at Macy's marketing dept. wrote that?
Posted by: Brett W Jun 21 2005, 12:20 PM
this was a topic on another forum I am on. We all had the same take on it. My house if full of race car parts and if she doesn't like grease stained jeans and hands then she ain't my type. But I though the article was kinda funny. Look where they are trying to send men. Metrosexual man strikes again.
Posted by: Cloudbuster Jun 21 2005, 12:22 PM
I call BS too!
Jackstands are a 'must have'. Probably in the top 3.
Posted by: SirAndy Jun 21 2005, 12:31 PM
| QUOTE (Jeroen @ Jun 21 2005, 11:17 AM) |
| Dude, I'm worried that you're even reading crap like that... |
Posted by: Jenny Jun 21 2005, 12:50 PM
Yes to the lamp. Not that I NEED one, but I do notice that most men don't have one.
Yes to the high thread count sheets. Anything 400 and up is spectacular!
Yes to cooking, but not a must. If you can't cook, but enjoy her cooking, that's almost just as good.
The rest of it is horse shit. Swiffer? Please! 
Jen
Posted by: TonyAKAVW Jun 21 2005, 01:02 PM
Somehow I get the impression this article is written for someone who lives in a New York or San Francisco apartment. They are probably between 20 and 35 years old and into the "scene." The whole thing about the expensive clothes probably just makes you fit in to the scene and the swiffer thing makes sense only if you have hard wood floors, something more commonly found in old buildings in places like big cities....
I'm willing to be this list is worthless to 80% of single guys in the US.
I just can't picture a guy in a non-liberal locale being taken seriously if they have a stainless steel coffee maker and $250 tight jeans.
-Tony
Posted by: airsix Jun 21 2005, 01:09 PM
You don't need all that "stuff". Just always be kind and don't rebuild alternators on the kitchen counter.
-Ben M.
Posted by: redshift Jun 21 2005, 01:12 PM
I don't have any of that cool stuff.
I have a tremendous cucumber.
M
Posted by: VegasRacer Jun 21 2005, 01:14 PM
I quit reading when I got to #4.
The black leather couch stays. 
Posted by: Pugbug Jun 21 2005, 01:14 PM
Stay single....Do what you want, and don't worry about any of that crap. If you want someone to cook and clean for you hire a housekeeper. Way cheaper than a wife.
I'm serious, as I married at a young age, made the same mistake at 40, divorced in 1991, and have never been happier. I do what I want, when I want, and have all the xxx I can handle.
There are no advantages in being married IMHO.
Posted by: GWN7 Jun 21 2005, 01:14 PM
Looks like I have to loose the cartoon sheets and matching underwear.
Got the lamp....how else do you read Playboy at night?
Jeans...$16 at Costco...they cover my ass.
The rest is crap.
Posted by: dflesburg Jun 21 2005, 01:15 PM
Are you gay? geez!
If you do all the crap on that list you'll never get a woman! She will either think your gay or you are too close to your mother. Plus, she will be bored because there is nothing to change...
Be honest, kind and try being a runner, loose some weight, shower often, buy a new toothbrush, dont be a drunk and dont be gay. What women really want is a man. Not a fag with decorating talent.
Follow that advise and the women will find you.
Posted by: flatout Jun 21 2005, 01:17 PM
A 10$ coffee pot works for me.
I don't have lamps,too much trouble to turn on.
Have never used a swiffer,a handy broom does the job.
I do like a comfy couch to lounge on,mine was $100.
As long as the underwear is clean,wear what you want.
Don't have to have a key ring that can do everything,I have one of those tools in my purse.
As long as the jeans look good,doesn't matter how much they were.I see guys in $15 jeans,and they look great!
As long as the shoes go with the outfit,good deal.
As long as the sheets are clean,i'm not thinking about the sheets.
There are a lot more things that are sexier than a man cooking! 
Posted by: phantom914 Jun 21 2005, 01:20 PM
| QUOTE (TonyAKAVW @ Jun 21 2005, 11:02 AM) |
| Somehow I get the impression this article is written for someone who lives in a New York or San Francisco apartment. .......................................... -Tony |
Yeth, San Francisco.
Andrew
Posted by: phantom914 Jun 21 2005, 01:21 PM
| QUOTE (redshift @ Jun 21 2005, 11:12 AM) |
| ... I have a tremendous cucumber. M |
Watch out if Aaron asks you to toss a salad with him.
Andrew
Posted by: redshift Jun 21 2005, 01:21 PM
| QUOTE (Pugbug @ Jun 21 2005, 03:14 PM) |
| Stay single....Do what you want, and don't worry about any of that crap. If you want someone to cook and clean for you hire a housekeeper. Way cheaper than a wife. |
That's unfair to say! It dishonors the memory of the guys that were berated to death, by their wives!
Poor fools!
Uhoh... here comes a woman to change us! RUN!
M
Posted by: Dr. Roger Jun 21 2005, 01:23 PM
| QUOTE (Brett W @ Jun 21 2005, 10:10 AM) | ||
I call BS. Sounds like it would attrack the high maintainence type.
|
I shop at Goodwill for clothes. Cheap Hawaiian shirts and already broken in jeans.
Krups for the coffee. Hey I can't skimp on something important like that... Peets to go in it.
Lamp in bedroom. Check.
Swiffer. Check.
Comfy couch. Black leather. Check. =-) Hey it was cheap! White leather love seat from craigslist. cheap.
Nice underwear. Subjective, but check.
High count cotton sheets. Check. I like 'em too!
All purpose knife. Check.
Nice jeans. See first line. =-) They have decent jeans there too.
$200 dress shoes. Oh hell no. I did $170 one time and they held up very well.
and
Joy of cooking. Check.
Excellent cooking skills intact. Wanna' BBQ? BYOB.
Posted by: redshift Jun 21 2005, 01:23 PM
| QUOTE (flatout @ Jun 21 2005, 03:17 PM) |
| There are a lot more things that are sexier than a man cooking! |
It's a cucumber! It's tremendous!
Ok, fine... I know a place that has gigantic zucchini.M
Posted by: Jeroen Jun 21 2005, 01:24 PM
| QUOTE (Brett W @ Jun 21 2005, 07:20 PM) |
| Metrosexual man strikes again. |
face it...
Metrosexual-man IS NOT a hetrosexual man
Posted by: balljoint Jun 21 2005, 01:25 PM
| QUOTE (Jenny @ Jun 21 2005, 02:50 PM) |
| Yes to the lamp. Not that I NEED one, but I do notice that most men don't have one. |
Just how many men would that be?
Ding Dong
Unofficial survey sir, are you single? May I be admitted to your bedroom? Nice thread count. Damn, I stubbed my toe, don't you have a light in here?
BTW Bruce, no one believes that you read Playboy, but you do need a light to look at the pictures . A nice headlamp from Mountain Equipement Co-op works great.
Posted by: scruz914 Jun 21 2005, 01:38 PM
BS - no, marketing - yes. Here is my interpetation:
1. A top-notch coffee/espresso maker
Will not do you a damn bit of good if you do not know how to use it and the value of fresh grounds. Knowing how to make a good cup of coffee is what counts. Knowing how to make tea as an option is good too. No foo-foo-tutti-frutti flavors either.
2. A lamp in your bedroom
Sounds like a good thing, but I would make sure that it is sitting on something other than Early American Orange Crate.
3. Swiffer Sweeper + Swiffer Cloths + Swiffer Wet Cloths
Just keep the floor clean using whatever (except the kitchen towel).
4. A comfortable couch
Yes, but more important keep the Cheerios and Ritz Bits out from under the cushions.
5. Nice underwear
i.e. Clean underwear without holes. Tighty whities only if you can fill them.
6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything
Skip the McGiver routine. Chances are you will further damage whatever you are trying to fix with any tool that can fit on a key ring.
7. $150+ jeans
Clean Levi 501s always beat out designer jeans.
8. $200+ dress shoes
Is there anything other than $200 dress shoes? I would go with Tevas as long as you have no tan where the straps are and a tan where they are not.
9. 300-thread-count cotton sheets
At least. Keep 'em clean and don't forget decent blankets and a reasonable bed spread.
10. The Joy of Cooking
Any cookbook will do if you know how to use it. You need dedicated pots, pans, etc. to cook with though. Using your kitchen pots for cleaning parts will not cut it.
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 21 2005, 01:45 PM
This was an interesting read and good for a laugh...some of it does sound good...in a perfect world...but we don't live there.
If you find a guy with all of those qualities, he's more than likely gay...OR TAKEN...damnit!!
Posted by: Demick Jun 21 2005, 01:48 PM
The writer clearly does not know what he is talking about. He suggests that a coffee machine that uses steam pressure produces superior espresso. Pleeeezzzzeeee. Anyone who know anything about coffee knows that the steam pressure just burns the coffee. A pump style is the only way to go!
Posted by: mudfoot76 Jun 21 2005, 01:50 PM
| QUOTE (scruz914 @ Jun 21 2005, 02:38 PM) |
| BS - no, marketing - yes. Here is my interpetation: <snip> |
Well stated! I'd only add two things
1. Brush your teeth (and floss too -- all too often I hear ladies complain about guys hitting on them in bars, and complaining about their bad teeth/poor dental hygine)
2. Any women who are impressed by your $150 blue jeans are going to be gravely disappointed when they learn that the Porsche in your garage is actually a 914 (jackstands notwithstanding)...bitches....
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 21 2005, 01:50 PM
| QUOTE (GWN7 @ Jun 21 2005, 11:14 AM) |
| Got the lamp....how else do you read Playboy at night? |
Hehe. Yea, I guess it is easier to reach up and turn off the lamp after reading Playboy rather than trying to get up and walk across the room...
Posted by: ninefourteener Jun 21 2005, 01:57 PM
| QUOTE (Jeroen @ Jun 21 2005, 11:24 AM) | ||
face it... Metrosexual-man IS NOT a hetrosexual man |
Ok folks....... most of you know I've dated 3/4 of the women in the St. Louis area...... So I'm here to stand up for the Metrosexuals out there.
No.. I'm not GAY.... I'm not even BI either.... so laugh all you want dammit...... before I got engaged, I not only had more sex than any one man should be allowed to...... I had them coming BACK.
With that:
1. DAMN RIGHT!! You have to have a good coffee maker..... what are you going to serve your ladies in the morning?? KOOL-AID? Left over beer??
2. DAMN RIGHT..... sometimes you can't reach the lightswitch, and you want to get freaky with the lights on..... Personally, I have a touchlamp on each side of my bed
3. A swiffer?? Nope.... just clean your damn house. Nothing turns a woman off more than walking barefoot and naked on the way to your fridge..... only to be freaked out by last weeks Cheerios crumbling between her toes.
4. Fabric couch?? NO WAY!! I have a leather couch..... it's much easier to clean the stains off of...... plus, it dries quicker... in case you've got another lady dropping by later in the evening.
5. Boxer briefs are the way to go... they are usually the most attractive to women..... or just go commando.. it makes quickies and road-head much easier.
6. Stupid key rings?? Who thought of this?? If she breaks something... INVITE HER BACK TO YOUR HOUSE TO FIX IT!! duhhhhhhhh.
7. $150 Jeans?? Maybe not $150... but expect to spend $65-$95. Just a hint..... your old wranglers look stupid.. sorry.
8. Dress Shoes...... no need to spend a fortune..... most women don't know mens shoe brands, so you can get away with any kind of dress shoes. BUT...... no matter how nice your ensemble is, you look stupid if your wearing your gym shoes.
9. 300 thread-count sheets??? BULLSHIT!!! Get some fabric softener. Only weenies that never get laid buy that crap (cause they never have to replace them due to excessive bodily fluids). I was going through a set of sheets every 2 months for nearly 2 years. The $19.95 Wal-Mart sheets work just fine for me.
10. Cooking?? It's better to take her to a trendy restaurant she's never been to, with a jazz band or something. Yea.. women like a guy that can cook, but they like a "cultured" man even more. If you impress her.. she'll come cook for you. This is a no-brainer people.
End of rant
Posted by: SLITS Jun 21 2005, 01:58 PM
And I'll bet no pharting allowed either...what's a guy to do on a diet of peanuts and beer....leave the room and go outside?
BOVINE FECES
3 day old coffee, warmed in a microwave is as good as Starbucks
My couch is comfortable, as long as she's on top
I can cook....how many mins for that TV dinner? Wanna a salami sandwich for dinner
Posted by: andys Jun 21 2005, 02:01 PM
Funny thread.........funnier though, is that you never REALLY know until AFTER you're married; newjeans or not!!
Andy
Posted by: Thorshammer Jun 21 2005, 02:01 PM
Not that I am a mac, but here goes.
You want to set your place up so that she will appreciate the decor somewhat. If you have no interest in being a ladies man then skip all of the above. However if you are interested, and I used to be. Not bragging or anything. Heres my list.
-Fish, must have a tank, and it better not be nasty
-Swiffer, yes, and also a vacuum, women like to be clean. If your bathroom is nasty, forget it, women can't stand a nasty bathroom
- Any art, that is not photos of racing, but since you can't afford a real Monet, make sure you have a repro and know the history of the painting, Most women are impressed by culture.
-Trees, You must have a couple trees , Ficus, whatever, and they must be real. and one must be in the bedroom. (I used to have one that leaned over my bed) Also a couple plants, in my experience women like the fact that you look after things. If shes coming over, and the fern watchamacallit is dead, throw it out. Better no plants than some withered old piece of crap.
-Underwear, I have to disagree, Silk has it's uses, but only after you have known her for awhile. Then okay. Always stay with a boxer or boxer breif in a color NOT WHITE, designer CK, etc... THROW ALL TIGHTY WHITEYS OUT. She can't see them.
- Shoes, Dress Shirt, Watch:
Trained women look for shoes, nice shoes, even tennis shoes, must be nice. Brooks brother for loafers, no skechers unless you trying to attract the same sex. Shirt, Your style But I prefer Herringbone 300, and don't get it too tight, you want to look comfortable, not have a noose around your neck. A simple dress shirt with a nice pair of jeans, and designer does make a difference. Anyone remember Z cavricci with the double belt, yeah baby, women used to be into my jeans, I thought it was the dumbest thing I ever heard.
But it attracted the ladies.
A really nice watch is a must, even if it is a fake. a Rolex diamond stud fake can cost about 100.00, which may seem high. but worth every penny.
Car, must be clean, a clean 92 sentra trumps a worn out dirty 911 everyday allday. Some of you may disagree.
Clothes: No flower print crap, no concert shirts, no wife beater T's
do wear a Underarmour shirt they are very stylish now.
Don't be afraid to look a little old school yuppie, it still works, but don't take it very far. No duct tape on the dock siders. no good. Leave the collar down.
Cologne: Go to the local Macys/Dillards/Filenes/Lord And Taylor, (dated his daughter once) and find out what the most popular mens cologne is, and buy it. Use it sparingly, it should'nt arrive before you do.
The best advice of all of this crap is this:
Listen to them, use what they say to segway into other things. I have started conversations with: "do you like that car? Oh, Not really why? Once you get past the defense mechanism's then it becomes easier.
As for the type of women you meet while providing this charrade, it's hit and miss. I have found the real girls need very little of the above after the first encounter, after that you can let the plants die, and start wearing the concert shirt again, but only when she will see it, not her friends, cause if you piss off the friends you are normally finished. Mrs K, anything to add????
Erik Madsen
Posted by: ninefourteener Jun 21 2005, 02:04 PM
Rock on Erik..... good job 
Posted by: Thorshammer Jun 21 2005, 02:07 PM
Oops I forgot one thing.
After you make her dinner and your hanging out drinking a glass of Merlot, if she asks, "Your not gay are you"?
You can have anything from the menu you want. You have closed the deal. Next question from you needs to be why would you say that??? If her response is. Well you have the tree, art, dinner etc... Jump her bones right there and then. 
Erik M
Posted by: Joe Ricard Jun 21 2005, 02:08 PM
Should I ever go shopping for a replacement there will be requirements going the other way.
I have become too set in my ways so it won't do no goood to try and change me. Save that for the youngin's
My work shop gets used every day parts belong on the work bench.
Jack stands and lots f GOOD tools are a requirement get used to it
I probably do love my car more than you ... Get used to that too.
Posted by: tdgray Jun 21 2005, 02:13 PM
| QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 21 2005, 03:50 PM) | ||
Hehe. Yea, I guess it is easier to reach up and turn off the lamp after reading Playboy rather than trying to get up and walk across the room... |
Depends on how long you read playboy... might not be that har... er' difficult.
Posted by: CptTripps Jun 21 2005, 02:15 PM
I think he is asking the wrong crowd....
I'll go out on a limb and say that I agree with 90% of that.
Coffee Maker: I'm partial to a French Press.
Sur La Table - http://www.surlatable.com/common/products/product_details.cfm?PRRFNBR=390
Lamp: Agree 100% Ikea is easy...Target can work too.
Ikea - http://www.ikea.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10101&storeId=12&productId=33222&langId=-1&parentCats=10111*10270
Swifter: Didn't have those 8yrs ago...just keep the floor clean.
Couch: Again, Ikea is good for this. Loveseats are better than couches. It'll force you to sit closer together, and it's tough to 'get busy' on a loveseat, so she'll get to see your sheats!
Ikea KARLANDA (Moderate) - http://www.ikea.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10101&storeId=12&productId=10967&langId=-1&parentCats=10114*10294
Ikea KLIPPAN (Budget) - http://www.ikea.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10101&storeId=12&productId=10972&langId=-1&parentCats=10114*10294
Draws: Again...agree 100% If you've never had your 'boyz' in some nice underwear, you are in for a treat. Girls have 'going out' underwear...why shouldn't you?
Banana Replublic - http://www.bananarepublic.com/browse/product/291/product_291405.htm?cs_catalog=BR%5FTrans%5F2005&cs_category=7014&Display=2
Keychain: I call BS on this one.
Jeans: Agree. I can wear a pair of Diesel jeans to Taco Bell, or Ruth's Chris
Diesel Jeans - http://www.diesel.com/denimguide/2005ss/launch.html
Shoes: Agree...kinda. Just make sure they are shined, and clean. If you aren't going to polish them, wear flip-flops. That's the first thing I look for when I interview people. I have more respect for the guy in cheap shoes that keeps them clean, than I do for the guy with a pair of Ferragamos that are trashed.
Nordstroms - http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product.asp?styleid=2863070&category=2376778~2372807~2375671~2380907&PrevStyleID=2865233&NextStyleID=2854646
Sheets: When I was single, I'd have girls telling me they heard that my sheets were nice, and wanted to come check them out.
The Company Store 600 thread - http://www.thecompanystore.com/parent.asp?product=EP95x&dept%5Fid=3004)
Cookinig: Go take a class at the Viking Store, or Sur La Table and learn how to make 2-3 dishes REAL well, and you'll never need a cook book.
That's my 'Metro-Sexual' view on things..I've got a few more I could add...
PJs - Chicks dig a guy that wears PJs.
Nice Slippers - Show you are cool, and care about your feet.
Manicured fingernails - Women DO NOT like rough hands...where it counts. (hint-hint)
Clean Car - Nothing worse than convincing a girl to come home with you and you have to throw out the fast-food bags on the front seat so she can ride.
Okk guys...bash away...
Posted by: ninefourteener Jun 21 2005, 02:18 PM
Well said CptTripps........
I'm on your side.... for most of it anyway
Posted by: CptTripps Jun 21 2005, 02:25 PM
I can go on from there....just though I'd quit while I was ahead...
Posted by: Thorshammer Jun 21 2005, 02:29 PM
Tripps is on the money, He got a few that I missed. The cooking one is spot F...ing on three dishes and don't forget one that can be made in really short time. When she stops over, tell her you are going to whip something up. Less than15 minutes. And serious macs learn a little about wine, red, white. Some of the best dates I have been on started at wine tasting gatherings. Usually they will announce the wines to be tasted, do a little research, and formulate a couple questions about them. Gotta love that culture. For me it was always music, primarily classical/Opera. I would buy the score, or check it out from the library and learn the translation, during the peformance it would allow me to lean over and whisper the tranlation into her ear so she could follow what was happening. Make sure you have a breath mint or two for the second act. And don't be afraid to find out the "back stage" policy, so she may meet one or two of the performers.
Erik M
Posted by: Jenny Jun 21 2005, 02:33 PM
Oh, the keychain thing. I'm on the fence about this. I've got a small swiss army knife (scissors, blade, file, tweezers & toothpick, but I lost the toothpick many moons ago) on my keys, so I don't need a guy's keychain for that. But, my bf almost always carries his leatherman tool when we go camping, shooting, etc.. and I've used it on several occasions. These are things that seem like no big deal. Until you're doing something and could really use a (insert whatever you want to here) and someone miraculously has one. Then they are forever dubbed the good boyscout for being prepared.
I always keep my swiss army knife, a small lighter, band aids, a rubber band, and various other miscellanious items in my purse 'just in case'. You wouldn't believe how much that impresses as well as surprise guys when a girl is prepared.
Jen
Posted by: ninefourteener Jun 21 2005, 02:36 PM
While the Metrosexuals are ahead..... I feel I should a few more little tidbits of advice:
1. Always have designer jeans... but have slacks as well: Black is slimming, and if you wear a lot of black, it makes you look "mysterious, yet dignified"... Chicks dig that.
2. Plants: Chicks like plants
3. Animals: Chicks like WELL BEHAVED animals... not stinky leg-humpers
4. CLEAN SHOWERS!! Clean your tub...... if she showers in the morning in your nasty-ass tub, you'l never see her again.
5. Hold open car doors..... apparently this concept was lost back in the 60's..... it has gotten me laid more times than I could count.
6. GET A HAIRCUT!! Bon-Jovi was a great band, but the 80's and 90s are over. I know your buddies think your mullett is cool... but chicks are laughing at you... so am I.
7. Hand lotion is not just for wanking...... use it.... trim your nails too.
8. HIDE THE PORN...... if she sees it, you're not gettin NOTHIN!
9. Keep a small stereo in the bedroom...... and have a remote for it. Chicks dig music.
10. Pictures of your family... keep at least a few... it gives off a "sentimental" vibe...... and it helps deter from the obvious fact that you're trying to get laid.
second rant over
Posted by: MW 914 Jun 21 2005, 02:39 PM
I agree with Tripps on everything...well except for the manicured nails part. The place that I get my hair cut just started offering that. I don't get it. This place is nothing but a bunch of old-school Russian barbers. They do the straight-razor shave, shoe shine...the works. Then they had to ruin it by offering manicures?? You gotta draw the line some where. Manicures is the line in the sand. Clean nails, yes. Manicured, no. Luckily, my wife thinks it is gay as well.
I think the minimum required thread count on the sheets was a little low.
Great....now I sound gay. 
Posted by: redshift Jun 21 2005, 02:44 PM
| QUOTE (Jenny @ Jun 21 2005, 04:33 PM) |
| You wouldn't believe how much that impresses as well as surprise guys when a girl is prepared. Jen |
You left out rope, and a ransom note..
M
Posted by: SLITS Jun 21 2005, 03:07 PM
Spaghetti dinner and a 6 pack....ain't worth more than that!!
Posted by: Travis Neff Jun 21 2005, 03:18 PM
You can't leave out the bachelors 4 food groups:
Canned
Bagged
Boxed
Frozen
Think about it, that covers everything...
Posted by: PatW Jun 21 2005, 03:24 PM
| QUOTE (ninefourteener @ Jun 21 2005, 12:36 PM) |
| 2. Plants: Chicks like plants 3. Animals: Chicks like WELL BEHAVED animals... not stinky leg-humpers 4. CLEAN SHOWERS!! Clean your tub...... if she showers in the morning in your nasty-ass tub, you'l never see her again. 10. Pictures of your family... keep at least a few... it gives off a "sentimental" vibe...... and it helps deter from the obvious fact that you're trying to get laid. second rant over |
I remember something about paying the little kids in the Neighborhood to tell your Date about the charity work you've been doing..
Posted by: xsboost90 Jun 21 2005, 03:26 PM
and i thought all i needed was a cool car! anyone wanna buy a 914? I have sheets to buy!
Posted by: nocones Jun 21 2005, 03:37 PM
Alright, really off topic for a 914 board but here goes...
Since I am now single again after several years I have recently had cause to evaluate some of these issues.
Ditto the french press, simple, fast, elegant, makes a good cup of coffee. 9 out of 10 women really appreciate this the next morning.
Agreed on cleaning house. I could care less how it happens, just do it.
Art of some kind is a bonus, though interesting originals by an unknown are worth more than a print of a famous painting here.
Draws have been well covered here already. Agree boxer-briefs, print or solid color boxers.
Nice sheets. Seriously, this is a good thing! They don't have to be amazingly expensive, just clean and soft and coordinated. (no mismatched sheets/pillowcases) Unless (as stated before) you never need to replace them due to lack of use.
Jeans, ...Yeah the Diesel, etc... are nice, I own two pair of fancy jeans, the rest are levis, several pair for working on the car, in the yard, etc... and a few clean pair for going out.
Don't forget some tailored slacks, a few nice shirts, etc... Women love materials that feel good to the touch, and you'll love being touched.
Shoes, Black leather, square toe, no laces.
Ditto the fish. I have a 1000 gallon koi pond in the yard and a woman has yet to visit my home without falling in love with the fish. (they'll eat from your hand)
House plants are good, garden is better. All comes down to your living space.
Know your wine, but don't be a geek about it.
Know how to cook a variety of tasty dishes, but prep ahead of time so she isn't waiting for the meal to be done.
Tossing in the nice restaurant (Live music a big plus!) is excellent as well, but the home cooked meal will make a better impression.
Good hygiene is its own reward. Nuff said.
Above all, be a gentlman. Use good manners, open the door for her, sat please and thank you. It gets noticed.
Works for me.
Posted by: andys Jun 21 2005, 03:50 PM
Guys, I dunno how realistic all this is...............I'm old now (but still appreciate a great a**, oops, I mean a great figure). Seems I remember when in my 20's the guys that never give a sh*t, had women hanging all over them all the time. One was a best buddy....I used to just shake my head in dis-belief. The more he didn't care about them, the more they had to have him!! Old jeans, wrinkled clothes, messy apartment, and all. He'd even ask them to stop by the market on the way over (he rarely troubled himself to go there) and pick up a couple of steaks!! Didn't hurt that he had the looks...........
Me? I'd get all slicked-up, plan nice evenings', and then wonder where they all went 
If they like you, then unless there's something drastic, they"ll see the need for you requiring *being taken care of* and play into that weakness. So, mission accomplished!
Andy
Posted by: Jenny Jun 21 2005, 04:01 PM
$200 for a pair of jeans seems outrageous to me. They're just jeans. Unless they have gold inlay, I don't think any jeans are worth over $40 or $50. Call me cheap. I prefer practicality and function. The metrosexual man with tres expensive jeans is probably also prettier than his girlfriend.
YMMV,
Jen
Posted by: ! Jun 21 2005, 04:10 PM
I just open my zipper....bada bump.....
Here...pull my finger.... 
Posted by: Brett W Jun 21 2005, 04:14 PM
I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!!! 914 CLUB RULES!!!!!!
I found this article on another technical forum and we were all bitching about it. It so far has boiled down to a discussion about knives and the number of shallow women that we could pick up by doing this.
Anyway this thread has gone a lot further than I expected. I am laughing my ass off at the responses. SInce I am the type that doesn't leave the garage very often the tips are appreciated. They don't want me in public but they damn sure want me workin on their race cars, go figure.
Thanks for all the input.
Posted by: mack914 Jun 21 2005, 04:16 PM
Penis Pump!! has to be in the top five....
Posted by: nocones Jun 21 2005, 04:34 PM
Don't forget the flavored lube...
Posted by: carambola Jun 21 2005, 04:41 PM
i do have to agree with ditching the black leather couch. first things first, you should be working up a sweat. and it sucks when your balls stick to the couch 
just an aside from a guy recently removed from the dating pool
Posted by: Hawktel Jun 21 2005, 05:54 PM
Dude, just clean your house, and then you got to start with some "confidence builder" girls.
And just talk to them. Try not to act desparate, unless she tells you she gets off on that.
Ohh, it helps if you don't live with your parents.
Just try to relax, and maybe unload the gun before you head out. Keep you thinking straight.
Eventually move up the ladder to the more challenging girls, and stay lose.
Don't bust out the nice ride on the first date. Borrow a friend's Civic or something, Don't even mention you have a porsche. I had a girl once tell me on the second date she only went out with me the second time because she wanted to see my ride. Nice of her to make the 3rd date choice easy for me.
Posted by: Travis Neff Jun 21 2005, 06:40 PM
I've got a good story, I was taking this class and a guy was telling me about his escapades...
He is about 50, lives at home and doesn't really want to get a real job besides odd jobs for his friends. Anyhow he snuck in his girlfriend on the front patio/AZ room (enclosed patio). So he and her are going at it, and all of a sudden his father pops in (who is at least 70, if not older) and catches them in the act. He said he thought one of the dogs was dying and he was trying to figure out what was going on.
that was funny enough, until he told us all that he got grounded. 
Posted by: balljoint Jun 21 2005, 06:51 PM
1. Butter
2. Nail Clippers
Attached image(s)
Posted by: skline Jun 21 2005, 06:51 PM
Instead of spending all that money on jeans and sheets and crap, just go to Craigslist and pick one of the call girls listed on there. It will cost you less and it's gauranteed to get you laid. They dont care what you wear, what kind of sheets you have and they wont be waking up with you in the morning so you dont have to worry about the coffee.
On another note, if a girl is that materialistic, do you really want her to spend time with you and turn you into a gay guy?
I can cook, better than most women I have dated, I only wear 501's, despite my garage appearance, I like my house clean and organized so I know where everything is at. My sheets are new and soft enough for me. I carry a Leatherman Micra all the time and I dont drink coffee. If a woman is that materialistic, I sure dont want to marry her, hell, I may not even want to have her over.
Posted by: anthony Jun 21 2005, 06:57 PM
I have a $400 pair of Bruno Magli shoes ... but I only paid $150 for them. Do they count?
I gots:
couch
lamp
espresso machine
shoes
boxer briefs
regular sheets
cook books
Levi 501s ($30)
three porsches
two extra sets of wheels and car parts cluttering the garage
and a yard that needs weeding (not enough time in the day for the important stuff and doing chores :-) )
I'm no where near being a metrosexual. I'm more of t-shirts, jeans, cabernet, and pizza guy. I guess you can call that a renaissance man!
Posted by: balljoint Jun 21 2005, 07:00 PM
| QUOTE (Hawktel @ Jun 21 2005, 07:54 PM) |
| Just try to relax, and maybe unload the gun before you head out. Keep you thinking straight. |
This one had me on the floor.
Some other points along the same line.
1. Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction.
2. Keep your finger off the trigger.
3. Always handle a strange gun as if it were loaded.
4. Clean your gun after use.
Firearm safety is very important.
Posted by: ClayPerrine Jun 21 2005, 07:11 PM
Get a lamp like this!!!!
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Posted by: ClayPerrine Jun 21 2005, 07:13 PM
Betty has a co-worker who's husband is an artist. We did them a favor, so we got this as a gift.
I took a look at it, and commented that the air filter it's made from looked like the one for my 914/6. I went and got the brand new filter for my /6 and put it on. Gives the lamp an Orange tone.
Attached image(s)
Posted by: ClayPerrine Jun 21 2005, 07:14 PM
Without the flash...
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Posted by: Pugbug Jun 21 2005, 07:18 PM
[QUOTE]the guys that never give a sh*t, had women hanging all over them all the time. One was a best buddy....I used to just shake my head in dis-belief. The more he didn't care about them, the more they had to have him!! Old jeans, wrinkled clothes, messy apartment, and all. He'd even ask them to stop by the market on the way over (he rarely troubled himself to go there) and pick up a couple of steaks!! Didn't hurt that he had the looks...........
It works for me...
Posted by: scruz914 Jun 21 2005, 07:24 PM
Sounds like we have a few nutsack-swingers here. I am getting some good laughs out of this thread.
So what is it about a woman or her place that turns you off? No light by the bed? Scratchy sheets? Cheap jeans?
Long, long ago in my single days it was dirty bathrooms that did me in. Especially if there was a dirty litter box in it.
Posted by: Dr. Roger Jun 21 2005, 07:31 PM
| QUOTE (scruz914 @ Jun 21 2005, 05:24 PM) |
| Sounds like we have a few nutsack-swingers here. I am getting some good laughs out of this thread. So what is it about a woman or her place that turns you off? No light by the bed? Scratchy sheets? Cheap jeans? Long, long ago in my single days it was dirty bathrooms that did me in. Especially if there was a dirty litter box in it. |
Deal breakers...
1. Poor personal hygiene.
2. Third leg
3. Poor personal hygiene.
Posted by: Rick_Eberle Jun 21 2005, 07:53 PM
Just remember:
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her shit!
Posted by: Steve Thacker Jun 21 2005, 08:02 PM
| QUOTE (Rick_Eberle @ Jun 21 2005, 09:53 PM) |
| Just remember: No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her shit! |
No greater wisdom has been spoken
Posted by: CptTripps Jun 21 2005, 08:27 PM
That's my brother's line...
"Show me the hottest chick in the world, and somewhere, there is a guy that's sick of f%$king her."
Posted by: GWN7 Jun 21 2005, 08:40 PM
Fuzzy toilet seat covers....hate them.
Why is it that every woman I have dated has this insane desire to decorate the toilet?
Posted by: RAR Jun 21 2005, 08:46 PM
Couch, jeans, lamps...(uncontrollable laughter).
Go out and find the most obnoxious woman you can possibly imagine.
Buy her a house.
You're done.
Posted by: messix Jun 21 2005, 09:02 PM
| QUOTE (RAR @ Jun 21 2005, 06:46 PM) |
| Couch, jeans, lamps...(uncontrollable laughter). Go out and find the most obnoxious woman you can possibly imagine. Buy her a house. You're done. |
knock her up and give her a grand or so every month for eighteen years
Posted by: ! Jun 21 2005, 09:11 PM
Sometimes I think it would be easier to be gay....then I realize I hate men, too...
Posted by: SLITS Jun 21 2005, 09:24 PM
| QUOTE (ClayPerrine @ Jun 21 2005, 06:14 PM) |
| Without the flash... |
When you turn it on, does it make sucking sounds?
Posted by: Travis Neff Jun 21 2005, 09:36 PM
Does that rule out a bug zapper light in the living room for entertainment??
Posted by: tat2dphreak Jun 21 2005, 09:38 PM
it's 
if something is not "you" it's fake and anything fake sucks(except boobs, dig the fake boobs)
if you have to GET RID of something, or GET something for a woman, you are looking for the wrong woman... the right one will put up with you the way you are... the rest are only fun for a little bit until they start trying to "fix" you...
Posted by: SLITS Jun 21 2005, 09:42 PM
| QUOTE (Travis Neff @ Jun 21 2005, 08:36 PM) |
| Does that rule out a bug zapper light in the living room for entertainment?? |
NO, that's a good thing...iffin' ya hear a zap, it's time to warm up the car.........
Posted by: smooth_eddy Jun 21 2005, 09:44 PM
| QUOTE |
| No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her shit! |
Okay, here goes....
1. Coffee: maybe she would appreciate the fact that I don't pollute my body with drugs?
2. Lamp: Yes, I do have one but it is sitting on the floor because my X got the bed stand. Does that count?
3. Swiffer: come on now. These things will be gone faster than the salad shooter.
4. Sofa: I agree, get one that does not look like a hand me down from mom.
5. Underware: Heck, just don't wear any....they love that and it cuts down on the laundry load and is cost effective too.
6. Keychain knife: Just don't take it thru the airport. That won't impress her.
7. $150 jeans: I have been told I have a great butt in Levis ($26 on sale at Sears)
8. $200 dress shoes: I agree here. Buy expensive Cole Haan's or Perry Ellis. You will be noticed.
9. 300 count sheets: I agree, nice cotton for the summer and quality Eddie Bauer flannels for the winter with a down comforter. You will never get her out of bed.
10. Joy of cooking: Just tell her you use Epicurious.com She will be impressed you know how to use your computer for other things besides porn.
Another thing I would like to add in all seriousness....Learn a dance. Latin for younger women and Ballroom for the over 40 type. Every woman wants to look good on a dance floor and she can't do it without a Lead! You will have a steady stream of woman coming up and asking you to dance. Guaranteed to make Mr. Happy very happy
Posted by: Howard Jun 21 2005, 10:03 PM
Great thread. Being older and more experienced, I feel my contribution is necessary to save you from heading down the wrong road. Most of what is posted here is Mad Avenue hype and BS. Don't buy into it!
Guys: Style is less important than personal, residential, and vehicular hygiene. You can get away with the orange Barca Lounger, or the one shirt you can't throw away, but not a dirty toilet or the tire tracks on your shorts.
Ladies: We love you, and almost anything is OK, but PLEASE! No toilet seat frillies that make the cover fall mid pee.
Giant cucumbers or fake knockers just attract the wrong types. And be sincere, even if you don't mean it 
I have written a short book, http://www.thehowardagency.com/wtf.html that you may want to peruse.
Posted by: Sparky Jun 21 2005, 10:41 PM
From my experience you need nothing on that list. Then again I'm an excellent cook and can hold my breath for periods longer then 10 minutes at a time
Mike D.
Posted by: a.munoz3 Jun 21 2005, 11:03 PM
i wear pants around $50 to $80 but i have actually been told by woman how come i dont wear pants with holes in em very funny.
Posted by: Mrs. K Jun 21 2005, 11:32 PM
| QUOTE (Howard @ Jun 21 2005, 09:03 PM) |
| And be sincere, even if you don't mean it I have written a short book, http://www.thehowardagency.com/wtf.html that you may want to peruse. |
Haven't had a chance to read this whole thread....will try after work tomorrow...but Howard...you are hilarious!
Also...based on the few posts I have read....most REAL women just want an honest guy with a big dick. (did I really say that
)Lisa
Posted by: Dr. Roger Jun 21 2005, 11:39 PM
| QUOTE (Howard @ Jun 21 2005, 08:03 PM) |
| Great thread. Being older and more experienced, I feel my contribution is necessary to save you from heading down the wrong road. Most of what is posted here is Mad Avenue hype and BS. Don't buy into it! Guys: Style is less important than personal, residential, and vehicular hygiene. You can get away with the orange Barca Lounger, or the one shirt you can't throw away, but not a dirty toilet or the tire tracks on your shorts. Ladies: We love you, and almost anything is OK, but PLEASE! No toilet seat frillies that make the cover fall mid pee. Giant cucumbers or fake knockers just attract the wrong types. And be sincere, even if you don't mean it I have written a short book, http://www.thehowardagency.com/wtf.html that you may want to peruse. |
Howie,
bad link............
wanna learn.................... LOL
Posted by: brer Jun 21 2005, 11:40 PM
My 5 minutes worth of input.
1. waffle iron.
Steve McQueen said it all.
2. A lamp in your bedroom
LIght is good for sex. And most video cameras under $50 need a light source.
It also helps with bruises on the shins.
3. handi wipes
girls know what they are for.
5. Nice underwear
Just dont wear them.
They are decoration for your top drawer.
6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything
good for cans of vegetarian refried beans.
7. $150+ jeans
dude, ripped jeans are about not having money. dont pay for that crap.
Go to the thrift store and get what you need. Trust me, its cool.
8. $200+ dress shoes
Nothing like a pair of handmade shoes.
Johnny Moke was good. So was Patrick Cox back in the day. Nowadays you need to call up Daniel Day Lewis. I hear his schooling was good before Gangs of New York.
9. 300-thread-count cotton sheets
Dont buy that BS. Just get PIMA, its all the same.
10. The Joy of Cooking
Buy some Madhur Jaffrey, the rest will come naturally.
and for fooks sake, just be yourself. She'll find you.
and maybe buy a guitar like i did.
brer
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Posted by: redshift Jun 22 2005, 02:28 AM
1977 Gibson Mk. uhh... II...
M
Posted by: Dead Air Jun 22 2005, 07:07 AM
What kind of neanderthal DOESN'T have a lamp or coffee maker?
I might be a slouch on the couch with my pouch falling out.
Or fine as we dine on the floor all the time.
My girlfriend likes the way I smell.
How can I tell?
She ain't said "go to hell!"
Posted by: ClayPerrine Jun 22 2005, 08:34 AM
| QUOTE (Dave Eddy @ Jun 22 2005, 07:07 AM) |
| What kind of neanderthal DOESN'T have a lamp or coffee maker? |
Someone who doesn't drink coffee????
Posted by: phantom914 Jun 22 2005, 08:54 AM
| QUOTE (Howard @ Jun 21 2005, 08:03 PM) |
| ..................Everything I know about women......... |
Hmm. Apparently not much................the link doesn't work.
Thanks for the advice about sincerity. I really mean that.
Andrew
Posted by: "7" Jun 22 2005, 08:56 AM
Total B.S. -
Everybody knows there are no sheets in Alabama.
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 22 2005, 09:05 AM
| QUOTE (Jenny @ Jun 21 2005, 02:01 PM) |
| $200 for a pair of jeans seems outrageous to me. They're just jeans. Unless they have gold inlay, I don't think any jeans are worth over $40 or $50. Call me cheap. I prefer practicality and function. The metrosexual man with tres expensive jeans is probably also prettier than his girlfriend. YMMV, Jen |
I'm with you, Jenny. Holy Crap, I don't think I've ever paid more than $40 for a pair of jeans, but then I buy my jeans at Walmart. They are the only place where I can find jeans that fit me in all the right places (basically, jeans that fit women who have women figures, not boy figures). It sucks having a size 4 waist and size 8 ass.
Posted by: ! Jun 22 2005, 09:08 AM
| QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 07:05 AM) |
| It sucks having a size 4 waist and size 8 ass. |
And what a nice ass it is.....
Posted by: tat2dphreak Jun 22 2005, 09:11 AM
| QUOTE (Sir Fartalot @ Jun 22 2005, 10:08 AM) | ||
And what a nice ass it is..... |
it certainly sounds like it...
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 22 2005, 09:11 AM
| QUOTE (Steve Thacker @ Jun 21 2005, 06:02 PM) | ||
No greater wisdom has been spoken |
You know, this really hurts...what if "she" were tired of putting up with "his" shit?
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 22 2005, 09:16 AM
| QUOTE (Howard @ Jun 21 2005, 08:03 PM) |
| Ladies: We love you, and almost anything is OK, but PLEASE! No toilet seat frillies that make the cover fall mid pee. |
ROFLMAO!!! I have to agree with this one. I know it is worse for guys, but it's not much better for women when we are sitting trying to do our business and the damn lid keeps banging us in the back.
Posted by: SLITS Jun 22 2005, 09:16 AM
| QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 08:11 AM) | ||||
You know, this really hurts...what if "she" were tired of putting up with "his" shit? |
"She" makes him do his own laundry!
Women are really cool until you say "I do". That's their official signal to bash everything that you are and signal the beginning of "I'm gonna make you a better person".
Posted by: tat2dphreak Jun 22 2005, 09:18 AM
| QUOTE (SLITS @ Jun 22 2005, 10:16 AM) | ||||||
"She" makes him do his own laundry! Women are really cool until you say "I do". That's their official signal to bash everything that you are and signal the beginning of "I'm gonna make you a better person". |
men try to fix cars, and women try to fix men... neither know what they are doing...
Posted by: Howard Jun 22 2005, 09:21 AM
| QUOTE ("7" @ Jun 22 2005, 07:56 AM) |
| Total B.S. - Everybody knows there are no sheets in Alabama. |
Don't y'all have sheets to wear to your meetings?
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 22 2005, 09:23 AM
| QUOTE (Sir Fartalot @ Jun 22 2005, 07:08 AM) | ||
And what a nice ass it is..... |
You've seen my ass?
Hehehe
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 22 2005, 09:25 AM
| QUOTE (SLITS @ Jun 22 2005, 07:16 AM) |
| "She" makes him do his own laundry! Women are really cool until you say "I do". That's their official signal to bash everything that you are and signal the beginning of "I'm gonna make you a better person". |
You know, it's funny you say this because I used to do Brad's laundry until he got mad at me and told me to stop...so I did.
Posted by: ! Jun 22 2005, 09:26 AM
You and what's his hole slept at my house remember????
I didn't tell you about the "Nanny Cam" in the den....
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 22 2005, 09:27 AM
| QUOTE (Sir Fartalot @ Jun 22 2005, 07:26 AM) |
| You and what's his hole slept at my house remember???? I didn't tell you about the "Nanny Cam" in the den.... |
SirFartsalot? Who is this?
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 22 2005, 09:32 AM
| QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 07:27 AM) | ||
SirFartsalot? Who is this? |
Is this Zois? Did change your member name?
Posted by: SLITS Jun 22 2005, 09:41 AM
| QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 08:32 AM) | ||||
Is this Zois? Did change your member name? |
He changes his name when he changes his underwear!
Posted by: Lyressa Roberts Jun 22 2005, 09:44 AM
| QUOTE (SLITS @ Jun 22 2005, 07:41 AM) |
| He changes his name when he changes his underwear! |
Ah!! So Sir Fartalot is the "Artist Formerly Known as Z". Ok...
Thanks Zois!!!
Posted by: SLITS Jun 22 2005, 09:47 AM
| QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 08:44 AM) | ||
Ah!! So Sir Fartalot is the "Artist Formerly Known as Z". Ok... Thanks Zois!!! |
Also known as "*", Zits and Groper............he never got over being a curtain climber as a semi-adult...now climbs all over women and hoods.
Posted by: brer Jun 22 2005, 09:48 AM
| QUOTE (redshift @ Jun 22 2005, 01:28 AM) |
| 1977 Gibson Mk. uhh... II... M |
MK72
Posted by: skline Jun 22 2005, 09:48 AM
| QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 08:44 AM) | ||
Ah!! So Sir Fartalot is the "Artist Formerly Known as Z". Ok... Thanks Zois!!! |
No, it was the artist formerly known as "*" Z was before that and Zois was even before that. I wonder what will be next?
Posted by: brer Jun 22 2005, 09:49 AM
| QUOTE (Howard @ Jun 22 2005, 08:21 AM) | ||
Don't y'all have sheets to wear to your meetings? |
hehehe.
Posted by: andys Jun 22 2005, 09:51 AM
Dating relationships are full of misrepresentations on both sides. Guys do it to get into her....well, you know where. Women do it to get their man (big assumption here, as sometimes it's hard to tell; ladies?). As soon as you (they) let your (their) guard down and show the real you (them), that's when decision time comes. Ultimately, you hope to find someone that has few objectionable traits. IMO, most women tend to have the "white knight" vision of their date in the hope he's the one..........until that first fart!
But what makes this all so great, is how wonderfully different we all are. Ahhh, the excitement and anticipation! I always was most fired-up when I met a new and interesting woman, nothing is quite like it. Too bad that feeling can't last, but that's reality.
Andy
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