Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format
914World.com _ 914World Garage _ Stupid Things done while working on a 914.
Posted by: ClayPerrine Mar 23 2006, 11:51 AM
There was a request for a thread on stupid stuff done while working on a 914.
I will start......
I had my six up on my lift working on the rear suspension. I remember looking at the clock and it was about 6:50pm. I stood up to do something (I can't remember what now) and the next thing I know, I am sitting on the floor and my head hurts. I touch my head and I am bleeding. 
Seems I raised up under one of the rack arms and cracked my head open. I look at the clock and it shows 7:55 PM. 
At that point, I decided to call it a night.
When I told Betty about it, she had a fit! 
Her response was "What if you had been holding a cutting torch!!!". Now she insists on checking on me every so often when I am in the garage and it gets quiet for a long time. 
Ok... Who's next?
Posted by: olav Mar 23 2006, 11:55 AM
I was working on my car and my elbow hit my beverage which almost fell over but I caught it.
Posted by: effutuo101 Mar 23 2006, 11:58 AM
LOL! Nothing that dramatic. When I was moving into a place in Sacramento, I had a fuel injector that was stuck on. I stalled the car and restarted it. I blew a 8 foot flame out the back end. My friend (sitting in the u haul) swears that he thought the car was going to blow! It didn't help that it was 2 in the morning and the guy who lives across the street was CHP watching us move in.
Chris
Posted by: bondo Mar 23 2006, 12:00 PM
Ok, here's a couple I can think of at the moment.. I'll add more as I think of/do them.. 
1. While disassembling a roller for restoration/v8 conversion (still in progress) I went to remove the rear trunk torsion bar springs. I wasn't planning on resuing them, so I just decided to unbolt them and let parts fly.. and fly they did! The little clamp bit went right through where the rear window goes (I had just removed it 15 minutes before) and just barely OVER the windshield (which was still in place). It bounced around the other end of the garage (missing the window) and I still haven't found it. 
2. While disassembling a rear shock/spring setup, I didn't have a spring compressor handy. I played with it a bit and it didn't seem to be under all that much tension... But it was enough, and launched the nut, washers and spring hat all over the place.. Scared Sean and Herb too! I got out the spring compressor for the other one..
Posted by: ! Mar 23 2006, 12:03 PM
Screwing a tapping metal screw thru the positive battery cable.....
ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt...
Posted by: jhadler Mar 23 2006, 12:07 PM
Just getting ready to finish setting up a crank fire ignition on a motor I was putting in. Was pulling the distributor and discovered, only too late, that the oiling washer under the distributor drive shaft was still stuck to the shaft. At least it -was- untill I had the shaft almost out of the engine.
Wound up splitting the motor after repeated attempts to recover the washer failed. 
Still don't have the motor back in the car yet....
-Josh2
Posted by: URY914 Mar 23 2006, 12:14 PM
I had my dizzy 180 degrees off and shot a flame about 6 feet. COOL!!!
Posted by: Mueller Mar 23 2006, 12:15 PM
stupid thing: wearing loose fitting sweat pants while working on the 914.....
incedent report: using angle grinder (locked to "on" position) with wire wheel attachment, grinder kicks back, wheel "grabs" sweats and attacks the family jewels 
took a few solid seconds to shut off the grinder due to it whipping around.... 
Posted by: SirAndy Mar 23 2006, 12:18 PM
| QUOTE (bondo @ Mar 23 2006, 10:00 AM) |
| While disassembling a rear shock/spring setup, I didn't have a spring compressor handy. I played with it a bit and it didn't seem to be under all that much tension... But it was enough, and launched the nut, washers and spring hat all over the place.. |
usually not a problem on the 914 as the springs are not under much pressure, but i did that once with a front shock assembly of a '74 super beetle ...
i had the shock/spring in a vice and i'm using a big wrench to take off the top nut, didn't think i needed spring compressors ...
then, while turning, i hear a loud bang and the nut, retainer and spring are gone!
i look up and there's a big hole in the garage roof, the spring went right through the 5/8 drywall and was stuck in the insulation!
it missed my face by about 5" and it went so fast that i didn't even see it. that could have been *ugly* ...
Andy
Posted by: URY914 Mar 23 2006, 12:18 PM
| QUOTE (Mueller @ Mar 23 2006, 10:15 AM) |
| stupid thing: wearing loose fitting sweat pants while working on the 914..... incedent report: using angle grinder (locked to "on" position) with wire wheel attachment, grinder kicks back, wheel "grabs" sweats and attacks the family jewels took a few solid seconds to shut off the grinder due to it whipping around.... |
Posted by: Mueller Mar 23 2006, 12:19 PM
stood over the carb on a 914/V8 and poured gas into it while Brad cranked over the engine...resulting backfire out of the carb removed hair from one arm and partial removal of eyebrows
Posted by: URY914 Mar 23 2006, 12:27 PM
I looked at my car one day and I said to myself, it would be alot faster if it was lighter. 
If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't.
I could of cured cancer with the time I have invested in this thing. 
Paul
Posted by: bondo Mar 23 2006, 12:28 PM
| QUOTE (SirAndy @ Mar 23 2006, 11:18 AM) | ||
usually not a problem on the 914 as the springs are not under much pressure, but i did that once with a front shock assembly of a '74 super beetle ... i had the shock/spring in a vice and i'm using a big wrench to take off the top nut, didn't think i needed spring compressors ... then, while turning, i hear a loud bang and the nut, retainer and spring are gone! i look up and there's a big hole in the garage roof, the spring went right through the 5/8 drywall and was stuck in the insulation! it missed my face by about 5" and it went so fast that i didn't even see it. that could have been *ugly* ... Andy |
I think the reason it was so much pressure was because they were bilstein shocks with the adjustable perch set second from the top... I think you've still got me beat though.
Posted by: elocke Mar 23 2006, 12:29 PM
My kids were driving me crazy with croquet mallets and balls in the garage, so I snagged them and put them up on a shelf hanging from the ceiling over my 914 V8 project. One of the balls rolled out and WHAM.
So I bought a used windshield for $20 and 3 or 4 years later, when the car was ready for the road, I installed the replacement. After fitting it, I cracked it by pressing the edges with my thumb. 
A $320 goof.
Ed
Posted by: sk8kat1 Mar 23 2006, 12:29 PM
I too have a sweat pants story
car on jackstands ( of course ) I had the rear wheel off welding in the stiffening kit with my legs out in front of me and under the car .. well the sparks from the welder casaded down on to my lap ... through the sweat pants .... well lets just say grilled hootus ..... only once boys , only once
Posted by: balljoint Mar 23 2006, 12:29 PM
All the way under the car, lying on my back, car is not jacked up very far (old jackstands were too short) under the engine, using grinder to clean up rust at rear firewall. Sparks are flying and they find a few globs of old road tar and muck soaked with old fuel and TAH DAH, tiny little fire inches from my face. Crab walked out from under the car at 90 mph. Got extinguisher, took care of business. Changed shorts. Back to work, after hose down and clean up.
Posted by: Eric_Shea Mar 23 2006, 12:29 PM
| QUOTE |
| Stupid Things done while working on a 914., C'mon..... Fess Up! |
Bought a second one...
Posted by: ClayPerrine Mar 23 2006, 12:31 PM
| QUOTE (Eric_Shea @ Mar 23 2006, 12:29 PM) | ||
Bought a second one... |
I agree...
BTW.. I am trying to convince Betty that we need a third 914......
Posted by: bondo Mar 23 2006, 12:31 PM
| QUOTE (Eric_Shea @ Mar 23 2006, 11:29 AM) | ||
Bought a second one... |
Me too! And a third!
Posted by: 1970 Neun vierzehn Mar 23 2006, 12:32 PM
While replacing the mastercylinder, I thought it would be a good idea to "swab out" the ends of the disconnected brake lines with a Q-tip (the concours-retentive aspect rearing its ugly head) I got that Q-tip stuck so far in that line, I think it took longer to get that swab out than to r&r the m/c.
Posted by: Andyrew Mar 23 2006, 12:36 PM
We did that one Mike.. lol
asside from bruising myself and some minor cuts.. I was coming in for a break, got a glass and was putting ice in the cup, pushed it a little too hard with my left hand on the dispenser on our fridge, broke the glass, glass cut my thumb to the bone, full thumb wide.. 6 hours later, I saw the doctor..
7 or 8 stitches, I cant remember. (counting the stitch scars on my my hand, looks like 8) Funny thing was, It was right on the joint, I could bend my thumb and see my bone 
Im not a blood person.
Posted by: alpha434 Mar 23 2006, 12:37 PM
I dunno. But one of the local guys didn't say anything when I hopped under his car with a sawzall and started cutting crap out from under it.
Who did the stupid there?
Posted by: "7" Mar 23 2006, 12:38 PM
It all started with a broken plastic trunk roller...
And a PP search for replacements -
"Update your rear trunks plastic rollers, with our metal rollers and never worry about them wearing out again." Cool 
simple enough.
Or so I thought. Came apart easy. But putting it back together
was a biotch I never would have guessed that installing the torsion bar required that much force.
Anyway, I made a tool of of a piece of s/s tubing
and it was working pretty well. I got one side done.
When I was doin' the other side I was using all of my strength to
move the torsion bar - the tool slipped - & it hit my thumb so hard
my thumb split open with a nasty gash & then it started to bleed
and bleed. I wrapped a towel around my thumb & finished installing the
metal roller. Never again!!! No wonder they sell "trunk shocks" 
Whoz UP Next - 
Posted by: ClayPerrine Mar 23 2006, 12:39 PM
| QUOTE (sk8kat1 @ Mar 23 2006, 12:29 PM) |
| I too have a sweat pants story car on jackstands ( of course ) I had the rear wheel off welding in the stiffening kit with my legs out in front of me and under the car .. well the sparks from the welder casaded down on to my lap ... through the sweat pants .... well lets just say grilled hootus ..... only once boys , only once |
Did exactly the same thing while welding in front sway bar mounts for my wife's (at the time girlfriend's) 914.
Boy.. do those burns take a LONG time to heal. Got lots of sympathy from her though. After all, it was for HER car. (And I have NEVER let her forget it!)
Posted by: toon1 Mar 23 2006, 12:40 PM
while working on my 914 I alway's thought of how stupid I was to buy the car. But now that it is running i think it wasn't that stupid
Posted by: Carl Mar 23 2006, 12:44 PM
Where's that chopstick story when you need it?
Posted by: sk8kat1 Mar 23 2006, 12:45 PM
.... I plan on doing more work on the teener this weekend lets see what I can come up with after the fact....
Posted by: JOHNMAN Mar 23 2006, 12:48 PM
One time I had one up on jackstands (nearly a stripped shell), and was attempting to remove an axle shaft from a rear stub axle by pulling on it instead of just removing the whole stub axle (which is what I do now). Anyway, I ended up pulling the tub off of the jackstands with a crash.
Luckily nothing was hurt (especially me), but it was kind of awkward explaining what that loud crash was as I was putting the car back up on the jackstands a few minutes later.....
It's funny how people seem to show up right after performing an act of pure genius.
Posted by: alpha434 Mar 23 2006, 12:48 PM
So when I was first learning to weld, I had a bad tendency onf setting the welding rod on my leg while I regripped it. I did it once and burned a hole through my crotch. Didn't hit anything. I said "WHOA! Better not do THAT again." Then about half an hour later, I did it again anyway. Burned a hole through my pants and 1/16 inch into my leg. About a quarter inch away from my um... utility tool.
" I jumped up. Clenched my fists. And said WHOA! Better not do that again. And passed out"
Posted by: jsteele22 Mar 23 2006, 12:50 PM
| QUOTE (effutuo101 @ Mar 23 2006, 10:58 AM) |
| LOL! Nothing that dramatic. When I was moving into a place in Sacramento, I had a fuel injector that was stuck on. I stalled the car and restarted it. I blew a 8 foot flame out the back end. My friend (sitting in the u haul) swears that he thought the car was going to blow! It didn't help that it was 2 in the morning and the guy who lives across the street was CHP watching us move in. Chris |
Wow, that suggests a new feature to add to MegaSquirt. Next time some A-hole follows a little too close ....
So anyway, I was doing some work on the steering column and I'm in "the position" : shoulders on the floor, back smashed onto drivers seat, feet stickin' up sorrority-style. The front end is on jack stands, and the car is in gear. Then I realise that the ignition is in the "ON" position. Hey, that doesn't seem very safe. So I reach up and turn the key counter-clockwise. When you're looking at the key from behind, that is not what you want to do. Lets just say I'm glad the engine didn't start up...
Posted by: Mike D. Mar 23 2006, 12:56 PM
1) Leamon and I once used a shop vac to suck 10 yr. old gas from the tank of a 73 911. 
While in the middle of this another friend arrives and yells out "What the F is going on in here!" The whole garage was filled with fumes, and we were probably a little high from it. I guess at that point we were one spark away from a double funural. Not to mention the fact that a shop vac motor probably makes a fair amount of static electricity by it self. I think the fact that the gas in the tank was so old saved us from a Darwin award.
2) done the spring thing, too - Boing! whoa!
3) First time I had the engine out and back in. Had rasied the car off the jack stands using two stock jacks. well they don't go high enough so I put cinder blocks under the jacks. While lowering the drivers side the bar jack on the pass. side slides down the post and the vibration caused the block to crack apart and the car basically fell to the ground. no big deal right the wheels were on. WRONG, because I had removed the jack stand but hadn't moved it completely out of the way. On the way down the rocker pannel glances the top putting it in just the right place cram itself into the bottom edge of the rear quarter between the door and wheel well. NICE! Big fat dent right in the crease...
Posted by: Dr Evil Mar 23 2006, 01:00 PM
Eagerness and inexperience = FUN!
I was all excited to start my first ever top end refresh on an engine that I purchased. I cranked it and it seemed to want to catch, but it would not start. Checked fuel, checked spart, timing, etc. All good. Tried it again with my frined standing behind the car adn he said that he smelled gas. One more time and.....Whoosh a flaming rag, that I obviously forgot to remove from the HE, shot across my yard at amazing speed 
To add to this (and futher prove the above statement) I noticed that the oil was draining slowly into the engine when I was filling it. "Must be really sealed up well", i thought in my ignorance. I later found the other rag that I forgot to remove from the oil fill
Posted by: 514727625 Mar 23 2006, 01:07 PM
I had my totally stripped car (tub) balanced on cinder blocks (4 high) and was sliding my small trailer under it so I could haul it to the paint stipper (media blast the entire car). I had the trailer under the car with the weight now shifted onto the trailer. I began removing the cinder blocks and the because too much weight was on the rear of the trailer, it pivoted backwards on the trailer wheels, lifting the trailer tounge way in the air. It didn't stop until the rear of the 914 crashed into the concrete floor. All it did was bend in the rear sheetmetal where the rear valence mount, and I was able to bend it back out, no problem.
What a dumb ass. Trying to do things without a helper can really get yourself ito trouble.
Rob
Posted by: 914forme Mar 23 2006, 01:08 PM
My best bone head!
Finished working on a 914 for a customer. Took it out for a shack down run. Driving along with the customer in the passenger seat, we are making a good amount of speed, go around a corner and I hear something rolling from one side of the car to the other. Sound like it was in the cockpit, and had just rolled under my feet, I look down to see what so did the customer. I look up to find my self off roadin' in a 914-6 GT clone plowing through a ditch in farm country Ohio. Doah!!!!
Luckily I only had to redo one rocker panel and rear flare. BTW, the article was in the front trunk, he had a tach in a box of spare parts up front that jumped out and slammed to one side.
BTW, drove it out of the ditch and we keep going, pride a little hurt, but nobody hurt physically.
Posted by: Carl Mar 23 2006, 01:11 PM
I haven't had many events with the 914 but there've been a couple with 911's like leaving a paper towel in the engine compartment. The fan sucks those things up and lays them on the engine. Where IS that smoke coming from?
And then there's the typical brain-dead power tool screw-ups like not using the kick-back pawls on the radial arm saw. A chuck of wood flies across the garage and WHAM! Puts a 1" dent in a 2x4 stud. whoops.
Posted by: iamchappy Mar 23 2006, 01:17 PM
I have three dumb things to share, while I was making a flange for the turbocharger I was using my grinder on the 1/4 steel when I noticed the sparks had started my crotch on fire.
I was removing my hydraulic trunk lid struts without supporting the lid so it fell on my head.
I cracked my windshield last week while screwing around with the roll cage.
Posted by: olav Mar 23 2006, 01:20 PM
This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenence job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and says, "It says sprocket not socket!"
Posted by: Vacca Rabite Mar 23 2006, 01:24 PM
I descided to restore mine, instead of just loving it how it was till it was gone.
Zach
Posted by: Elliot Cannon Mar 23 2006, 01:37 PM
Had been working on the car for some time. A hot summer day, so I went into the kitchen to get a cold one. Came back out in the garage, walked over to the work bench, sat down my drink and out of the corner of my eye saw what appeared to be a little black car rolling down my driveway. Dropped my drink, ran after the car and just managed to grab the P brake just before the car hit the opposite curb. As Bugs would say "what a maroon"!
Cheers, Elliot
Posted by: Joe Ricard Mar 23 2006, 01:50 PM
Back in the early days of 914 ownership.
Having a problem with an intermittent miss. We cleaned the carbs drained the bowls and ended up spilling some gas. got everything back together and cranked it up. never realized one of the plug wires was disconnected. BANG!!!! WTF was that? Welcome to the EXTERNAL combustion engine.
I had to go sit down for awhile till my ears stopped ringing.
Posted by: itsa914 Mar 23 2006, 01:53 PM
2 stories 
914 story -
Parts car has nice Mahle rims on it. Of course the last rim is stuck on, lugs removed, all for corners off the floor place towel over rim the wrap 2x4 in another towel and used a 5ld seldge to break the wheel loose. Last BIG swing sledge bounces off board and hits me in the leg just below the knee, I fall over and hit head on fender. I got that F'n rim off, but hand a HUGE black & purple bruise on my leg for 2 months.
#2 back in 1985 I was 19 just had my 76 Nova totaled by a lady that ran a red light. I bought a 75 Vega GT proceeded with the help of a few friends to install the v8 from the Nova. d-day, time to fire the beast up, crank crank crank, won't fire Pour a little gas in the carb, crank and nothing stick my head in to look in the carb just as my GF decides to crank it one more time, yep backfire through the carb. Now remeber this is 1985, BIG metal hair band days............ you get the picture the next day is when I started cutting my hair short
Posted by: ClayPerrine Mar 23 2006, 01:53 PM
| QUOTE (Elliot Cannon @ Mar 23 2006, 01:37 PM) |
| Had been working on the car for some time. A hot summer day, so I went into the kitchen to get a cold one. Came back out in the garage, walked over to the work bench, sat down my drink and out of the corner of my eye saw what appeared to be a little black car rolling down my driveway. Dropped my drink, ran after the car and just managed to grab the P brake just before the car hit the opposite curb. As Bugs would say "what a maroon"! Cheers, Elliot |
You would think a professional pilot would know to "chock the gear when leaving the cockpit"!!!!!
Maybe you should make a checklist for parking your 914.
Posted by: MikeP Mar 23 2006, 01:58 PM
When I first installed my SBC I hooked the fuel line to the vaccuum advance port thus filling my motor with fuel. When I cranked it over it shot a 6 foot flame out the carburator and valve breathers.....oops
Posted by: bmunday Mar 23 2006, 02:13 PM
| QUOTE (olav @ Mar 23 2006, 11:20 AM) |
| This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenence job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and says, "It says sprocket not socket!" |
How I wish he would do stand up again..
Posted by: mike_the_man Mar 23 2006, 02:15 PM
I'm sure I could come up with several, but the winner for me is this; I was trying to remove a siezed front shock. Because it was siezed, I couldn't compress it enough to get it out of the shock tower. Instead, I decided to pry the A-arm down using a long metal bar. I had the bar wedged against something, and had a friend pushing down really hard while I pulled on the shock. When A-arm finally got low enough to allow the shock out of the tower, it smacked hard against the inner fender, twice, putting two big dimples in the fender, and craking the paint. Oops! Then, to top things off, when reinstalling the shock, I banged it against the fender one more time! Nope, I never do learn.
I think my vote goes to the chopstick story though. Someone should find that thread!
Posted by: zymurgist Mar 23 2006, 02:20 PM
I agreed to pull an engine and tranny to do a clutch job. That was almost a year ago. 
1. While the perfectly running engine was out, I removed the injectors and had a local garage check and clean them for me. When I put the engine back in, only one injector was working. I sent them to Rich Jensen and he brought the 3 dead ones back to life. Turned out the local guys didn't know what they were doing, and I should have walked out when they said they had never seen injectors that looked like the stock 2.0 models.
2. While the engine was out, I decided to replace the fuel lines. Had to mix and match parts from my local NAPA store (I buy lots of stuff from them) until I finally got it together with 5/16" brake lines for both supply and return. Not stupid, per se, but it added a lot of extra time to the repair job.
3. Got the engine back in and I'm tuning it. It wouldn't run, although it ran just fine last weekend. Hook up my handy-dandy homemade fuel pressure gauge and there was no fuel pressure. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? It worked before. I shone a light into the gas tank and it was bone dry.
Oh yeah, there's a great long-lived thread on the Pelican 911 board called "admit to your stupidity." Lots of bonehead maneuvers there.
Posted by: tdsmoonchild Mar 23 2006, 02:20 PM
| QUOTE (Joe Ricard @ Mar 23 2006, 01:50 PM) |
| Welcome to the EXTERNAL combustion engine. |
Posted by: WRX914 Mar 23 2006, 02:20 PM
I bought my car thinking I would just put as little $ in as possible.
Posted by: sherman1 Mar 23 2006, 02:36 PM
20 years ago, on my 1st ever garage clutch job, I was in the process of removing the tranny while the engine was held up by stands. Laying on my back, looking up towards the tranny, as I loosend the last rear engine mount, the tranny dropped down towards me but the rear ground strap briefly caught it, then it broke & the whole thing landed on my shoulder hard ... 
Fortunately, about this time the adrenalin was rushing through my system, and I was able to lift that damn tranny with one arm...
Then, later as I began to loosen the very tightly torqued center bolt, which holds the clutch flywheel, the ratched slipped & my left elbow slammed against the exhaust connection, creating a deep 3 inch gash with a whole lotta blood - I still recall screaming in pain then looking down into that open gash & saying, "Oh, Sh-t!!!"
There was no one home at the time, so I had to drive my other car (with 4-speed stick) down to the local doctors office to receive 8 stitches...what a mess! Almost passed out...
Now I know why the shop labor rates are around $120 bucks an hour.
BTW - great post, I love to read that we all share those bone-head stories ![popcorn[1].gif](http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/popcorn[1].gif)
Posted by: Bruce Allert Mar 23 2006, 02:38 PM
OK... first one: drain oil before removing Tuna can
2nd one: never ever use a lighted match to see if the battery is low on water... no matter how dark it is out side!
...b
Posted by: dinomium Mar 23 2006, 02:43 PM
| QUOTE (bondo @ Mar 23 2006, 11:28 AM) | ||||
I think the reason it was so much pressure was because they were bilstein shocks with the adjustable perch set second from the top... I think you've still got me beat though. |
Yeah, the crappy kind of spring compressor slid off as I was unblolting a rear assemble and embedded the washer in a 2x6 rafter like it was a chineese throwing star!
Posted by: tat2dphreak Mar 23 2006, 02:45 PM
removing the tar off the floor... I pretty much had the tar off of the pass. side, using my trusty tiny butane torch...
I decided to wipe a bit of the glue off(with brake cleaner) and see if I missed any tar... I wipe up the glue, notice a few small pieces that were hiding, put the shop towels on the back of the floor... and grab the torch 
as soon as I *click* the torch things took a turn for the worse... the floor burst into flames... including the brake cleaner soaked rags...
I put out the fire, no sweat, one squirt from the extingusher...
but the rags continued to smolder...
I stomped them, poured water on them, and threw them into the dumpster nearby the garage(I'm still in the apartment at this point) and I go back to work... a few minutes later... things are smelling funny... I look, the dumpster is smoking now...
it's not going anywhere, so I get some water to pour on it... but an old lady comes by on her power-walk and calls the fire dept. on her cell so soon the fire dept. shows up, on a 100 degree day to put out a smoldering rag in a dumpster in the middle of a concrete parking lot...
Posted by: dinomium Mar 23 2006, 03:00 PM
hi, my name is Dino and I am clutz...
So I am trying to get the front suspension link bolt of the the red car and it wont budge! So it get a long wrench, hook a smaller wrench thru the box end and slide a nice long chunck of pipe over that! Now, I am "supposed" to be getting ready to go to a dinner party, but my wife is still at work, so I am sneaking in a little extra shop time! Since I am pressed for time, I dont move the car to get more room to work and am laying on the floor inbtween my roll a way and the car. The pipe trick works alittle too well! Big wrech flys off the nut and smacks me in the forehead! That causes a recoil into the tool box! I am seeing tweety birds and stars!!!
Christine comes home and is not happy. I am still sitting on the floor of the shop. She wants to know why I am not dressed and how did I get an imprint of a wrench on my forehead?
DHO!
Caught and hurt, at least I got out of the party!!
Posted by: Sparky Mar 23 2006, 03:12 PM
Ok so I eluded to a darker learning period in another thread so here goes (note most of these adventures involved myself and DaveC):
#1. While helping out fellow addict with his 6 conversion we get the /6 in and al buttoned up. Figure we'll take for a test drive and see how it feels. Hmmm oil gauge says 0 pressure at idle. Check oil and it's fine. Engine is a fresh build from a solid shop. Ok bad gauge. Second gauge shows 0 pressure. Man were are we finding these bad gauges?! Third gauge shows 0 pressure at idle also. Ok Let's run her around the block. Get 100 yards down the road and SCREEEEECH motors stops. After owing it back home with Land Rover we discover that someone has the oil lines on wrong, feed to return. I recall someone saying "Are you sure the oil lines are on right?" after the first gauge read zero pressue.
#2. After finishing a head job on my 944 we got the engine back together and I was in the middle of torquing the cam rollers when 2 things happened, first a 45 minute conference call with work. Then Dave's 22 year old daughter pops out with some of her girlfriends all in bikinis. Dave's daughter is a stone cold fox as are her friends. I get back to working on the 944 and notice that I've picked up all of the tools while I was on the conference call. Must be done torquing everything down. So i cal Dave out and we decided to give her a crank and see how she sounds. crank crank crank BANG. #3 piston blows a chunk out of the cylinder wall after shearing off a valve. Seems I "forgot" to tighten the main tensioner pulley bolt with all of the "distractions" around me.
#3. Storing a stripped roller in dad's garage on metal saw horses 36" high. Dad needs it moved 4 feet over closer to the wall so we can put his boat in and do some work on it. I ask Mom to come out and assist, I figure I can just lift the roller while she slides the saw horses over. Working on one end at a time it should be a breeze. We get the front moved over and as we head to the rear of the car i give it a good lift and have it about chest high. Mom crawls under and slides the saw horse over and begins crawling out. The roller starts to slip so I lift more and can feel my left shoulder just ripping away. Mom gets out just as the shoulder gave away and the roller dropped onto the saw horse. While trying to explain all this to my doc he stood there with a stunned look on his face and said "I'm not a vet and I'm not used to treating gorillas." Took almost a year for that shoulder to heal right.
#4. Helping Dave with a fuel injection project on his /6. Using early heads with the injector bosses in the heads he upgraded to PMO throttle bodies. Dave bought injector "plugs" for the heads. We got them buttoned up and I was dialing his Electromotive with my laptop. We got the idle set and I'm trying to tweak a fuel curve and lean into the engine compartment when BANG one of the injector plugs comes flying out and parts my hair. It embedded itself in a ceiling joist. At that point I called it a night and had a very tall scotch. No water, no ice, just scotch lots and lots of scotch.
I've got more but these are the best (?!) so far.
Mike D.
Posted by: mike_the_man Mar 23 2006, 03:16 PM
| QUOTE (Sparky @ Mar 23 2006, 01:12 PM) |
| Then Dave's 22 year old daughter pops out with some of her girlfriends all in bikinis. Dave's daughter is a stone cold fox as are her friends. |
Posted by: Sparky Mar 23 2006, 03:18 PM
Nope not gonna do it... Dave also likes to collect guns.
Posted by: JB 914 Mar 23 2006, 03:26 PM
letting 
touch my motor.
Posted by: Carl Mar 23 2006, 03:43 PM
Well, if you want to get into teenage stupidity …
My first car was a 1955 Ford Town Sedan and, although it was in good shape and looked pretty nice, it wasn't good for much except using gas and leaking oil. Speed, acceleration, handling, and economy were all options that it didn’t have. It had a huge steering wheel, the diameter of which could just be reached with the fingers of outstretched arms.
My high school girlfriend lived up in the hills not far from town and for grins, coming down from her place, it fun was to shut the ignition off, wait for 5 or 10 seconds and then turn it back on. A big backfire would echo through the hills.
In an effort for bigger and better I turned the ignition off longer than normal only to turn it back on to an enormous “KABOOM”. COOL! That was NEAT!
Not only did it tear a hole in a muffler, it also humped up the rocker arm covers and blew out the seals from between the valley cover and the engine block. Geez, that was smart …
Posted by: Porcharu Mar 23 2006, 03:58 PM
| QUOTE (Mueller @ Mar 23 2006, 10:15 AM) |
| stupid thing: wearing loose fitting sweat pants while working on the 914..... incedent report: using angle grinder (locked to "on" position) with wire wheel attachment, grinder kicks back, wheel "grabs" sweats and attacks the family jewels took a few solid seconds to shut off the grinder due to it whipping around.... |
I had that happen while using the extra super nasty "cable" type wire wheel. That SOB attacked my ungloved hand, blood and very foul language were everywhere. Now I always wear big heavy MIG welding gloves using that nasty thing.
Posted by: jhadler Mar 23 2006, 04:00 PM
| QUOTE (JB 914 @ Mar 23 2006, 01:26 PM) |
| letting touch my motor. |
I dunno, that just might be the winner. But the key thing is this: did you know it was a stupid move -before- you did it?
-Josh2
Posted by: Dr Evil Mar 23 2006, 04:02 PM
Oh ya, then there was the time I was using a cupped wire wheel on a drill to remove crap from a part. Sitting in the full lotus position (indian style) the part in my lap, the wire wheel grabbed ahold of my shirt and the handle of the drill whacked me right in the nuts. My shirt ended up all around the bit and the drill up by my chin.
...man that hurt.
Posted by: Joe Ricard Mar 23 2006, 04:19 PM
Brand new 18V Milwaukee drill, 300.00
New Cobalt 3/8" drill bit 10.00
needed to drill hole through engine tray to run new gas line etc. lined it up had to put thumb on trigger to drill from underside. Drill bit quickly broke through the sheet metal and screwed it's way to the chuck.
Pinned my thumb against the trigger and the car body.
new drill had so much torque it smashed my thumb and I couldn't let go. Just kept twisting with me pinned and squirming.
Finally reached around and pushed the reverse switch and it let go. THEN IT STARTED TO HURT.
Purple thumb and teaching the nieghbor kids some new cuss words Priceless.
Posted by: Thomas J Bliznik Mar 23 2006, 04:20 PM
I like these stories. Not 914, but a stupid first weld job.
Growing up in the mid 50's I put a 1953 331 cu in Chrysler Hemi in my 53 Ford Cpe (my first car out of school). Had to drop the tie rod for clearance under the oil pan. I worked in a gas station (part time) pumping gas & got to use the hoist, welding equipment etc. (Remember guys this was back in the 50's). I welded up the tie rod and installed everything. Fired up the Hemi for the first time & took it out to the local night time drag strip. Burned rubber through all gears & bured the speedo for about a mile run. Brought it back to the gas station and was turning the wheel hard to back into the garage. The steering wheel turned in my hand when the tie rod welds broke in half. That day I learned about full penetration welds.
The other dumb thing I did that night. All my buddies were standing around looking at my weld job when two young good looking gals drove up to the gas pumps in a new 1955 chevy convt with the top down. The driver said before you pump gas please check my oil. She popped the hood and I pulled out the dip stick and a little sign on the dip stick said "B.J. for gas". I got a little flustered and shut the hood & said don't need oil. I got to get back to my broken tie rod. Sorry, guys I was just a dumb farm boy trying to get my Hemi powdered Ford fixed.
Tom
BTW
My Ford pic
Attached thumbnail(s)
Posted by: davec Mar 23 2006, 04:23 PM
You should have seen the look on Mike D's face when 3 young, bikini'd hotties came into the garage to see what we were doing. The letch! He deserved to blow up that engine. The best part of the story was when I found the same exact car a month later (with 23,000 original miles) that needed all new electrical components, switches and fuse box. The next time Mike saw his car it was quite a bit lighter...
Posted by: majkos Mar 23 2006, 04:24 PM
| QUOTE (alpha434 @ Mar 23 2006, 10:37 AM) |
| I dunno. But one of the local guys didn't say anything when I hopped under his car with a sawzall and started cutting crap out from under it. Who did the stupid there? |
That was ME! 
Thought you know what you're doing!
BTW it's a Track car,doesn' t need much under the rear trunk
Posted by: balljoint Mar 23 2006, 04:27 PM
| QUOTE (Thomas J Bliznik @ Mar 23 2006, 06:20 PM) |
| The driver said before you pump gas please check my oil. She popped the hood and I pulled out the dip stick and a little sign on the dip stick said "B.J. for gas". I got a little flustered and shut the hood & said don't need oil. |
She forgot to take the sign off........and her Dad took it in the next week to fill up and check the oil.........
Posted by: Porcharu Mar 23 2006, 04:36 PM
Heres another one that's non-914 related.
My brother was cleaning up after a long day working on an addition to ours parents house. He finds a big hole saw they were using for recessed lighting and the saw has a hunk of wood stuck in it. He decides that it would be a good idea to run a drill throught the wood and into the top of the hole saw - the drill would then pop the stuck wood out of the hole saw . He grabs one of those fostner type bits (the self feeding ones) and chucks it up in a gear drive 1/2" drill (the ones that coast when you let off the trigger) and starts drilling. He manages to pick a drill bit that just fits through the mandril hole in the hole saw and is holding the hole saw in his hand. Of course the drill bit goes perfectly through the hole in the saw and rips through his hand.
The contractors had the drill unchucked from the drill and is dragging my brother to the truck to take him to the hospital as he passes out - what's wierd is he remembers hearing everything all the way to the hospital.
They get to the hospital and ALL of the doctors show up to see this guy with a bit ol' drill bit and a hole saw hanging from his hand.
My brother is still trying to get the X-ray. He says it was perfect and shows how the drill just missed all of the bones in his hand and the hole saw. It's all healed up and he's fine now.
Posted by: SGB Mar 23 2006, 04:39 PM
1) I had a little bottle of paint that appeared to be perfect for the chips & dings...
2) I thought I heard a little exhaust leak...
3) The car seemed to pull to right just a little...
4) Those dim lights just had to result from bad grounds...
and most of all:
5) If I do the work myself...
Posted by: ! Mar 23 2006, 04:41 PM
#1. While helping out fellow addict with his 6 conversion we get the /6 in and al buttoned up. Figure we'll take for a test drive and see how it feels. Hmmm oil gauge says 0 pressure at idle. Check oil and it's fine. Engine is a fresh build from a solid shop. Ok bad gauge. Second gauge shows 0 pressure. Man were are we finding these bad gauges?! Third gauge shows 0 pressure at idle also. Ok Let's run her around the block. Get 100 yards down the road and SCREEEEECH motors stops. After owing it back home with Land Rover we discover that someone has the oil lines on wrong, feed to return. I recall someone saying "Are you sure the oil lines are on right?" after the first gauge read zero pressue.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I just did that on my Type I....but on the advice of the builder of the engine. Cost me a new crank and a case for the "free advice"....
Posted by: Eddie Williams Mar 23 2006, 04:51 PM
While I was crouched in the engine compartment, grinding and cutting my -4 motor mounts out, the grinder kicked back into my face. I saw stars after the weight of the grinder and my fists hit me in the cheek bone, knocked the safety glasses off my face. So I started to crawlout from underneath the car, when felt the warm wet stuff running down my face. It ground a line from the corner of my mouth to the pupil of my eye.
I don't have pictures of my face but can take some of my glasses.
I now have a full face shield for grinding and cutting, and I have the scars to remind me why.
Posted by: ClayPerrine Mar 23 2006, 05:00 PM
Ok.. one that is non-914 related and I didn't do it. I just witnessed it.
Circa 1981. While installing an MSD box on a friend's Ford Torino, we pulled the hood off for more light. The installation caused the car to run very badly. During this time, my friend's brother and his friend show up, and they are falling down drunk. Brother's friend decides to climb up on the front of the Torino to watch us. He is sitting on the roof with his feet on the cowl.
The car is misfiring badly, and we can't figure out why (remember, the average age of the group is 17). Brother's friend feels that he must return the deposit on his beer, so he stands up with the intention of pissing in the fan to spray us with the piss.
Well, for those of you who don't know, a 351 Ford has the distributor in FRONT.
He hit the distributor squarely with the stream of piss. The resultant short through his family jewels and out the bottom of his bare feet into the cowl resulted in the car dying.
He was shocked so bad that he fell off the car into the grass, holding his injured family jewels. We were all laughing and joking at his expense, when somebody realized that he was turning funny colors and still screaming.
We called my friend's mom, who was a nurse. She asked what happened. We explained that he tried to pee in the fan,and hit the distributor.
He ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks, unable to piss. He had to have daily "extractions" of urine via a long needle inserted in his bladder. He also had testicles the size of grapefruits for 2 weeks. 
The problem with the Torino was cheap plug wires. After it got dark, there was a rather impressive light show on top of the distributor.
Up to the last time I saw him we were still asking him how they were hanging.
Posted by: Racer Chris Mar 23 2006, 05:27 PM
I had the manifolds/carbs off my race car to do a little work on them so I put bunched up paper towels in the intake ports to prevent dirt from getting in. I reinstalled the carbs and started to fire it up. Engine wouldn't run but would cough a little. 
After an hour of fussing around to find a problem the engine finally caught and ran, but what was that snowy stuff coming out of the tailpipe? A moment later the remains of all 4 paper towels came out the back end a little singed. ![shocked[1].gif](http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/shocked[1].gif)
Engine ran fine afterwards.
Posted by: sanman Mar 23 2006, 05:35 PM
| QUOTE (ClayPerrine @ Mar 23 2006, 03:00 PM) |
| Ok.. one that is non-914 related and I didn't do it. I just witnessed it. Circa 1981. While installing an MSD box on a friend's Ford Torino, we pulled the hood off for more light. The installation caused the car to run very badly. During this time, my friend's brother and his friend show up, and they are falling down drunk. Brother's friend decides to climb up on the front of the Torino to watch us. He is sitting on the roof with his feet on the cowl. The car is misfiring badly, and we can't figure out why (remember, the average age of the group is 17). Brother's friend feels that he must return the deposit on his beer, so he stands up with the intention of pissing in the fan to spray us with the piss. Well, for those of you who don't know, a 351 Ford has the distributor in FRONT. He hit the distributor squarely with the stream of piss. The resultant short through his family jewels and out the bottom of his bare feet into the cowl resulted in the car dying. He was shocked so bad that he fell off the car into the grass, holding his injured family jewels. We were all laughing and joking at his expense, when somebody realized that he was turning funny colors and still screaming. We called my friend's mom, who was a nurse. She asked what happened. We explained that he tried to pee in the fan,and hit the distributor. He ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks, unable to piss. He had to have daily "extractions" of urine via a long needle inserted in his bladder. He also had testicles the size of grapefruits for 2 weeks. The problem with the Torino was cheap plug wires. After it got dark, there was a rather impressive light show on top of the distributor. Up to the last time I saw him we were still asking him how they were hanging. |
NEVER PISS A CAR OFF
Posted by: Tom Mar 23 2006, 05:37 PM
Guys , I would have posted this earlier, but I've been laughing too hard. Brings to mind a new passtime. Watching teener owners work on their cars. HA, HA. You guys are great. I must have done something like these some time ago , but due to advancing age , can't remember. Or was it that last knock in the head?
Keep up the good work.
Tom
Posted by: wbergtho Mar 23 2006, 06:11 PM
OK...here's my two really stupid incident reports. #1: I was cruising slowly through my neighborhood when all of a sudden I heard the lug nuts falling off the driver's rear wheel. I gently slowed down to a stop and checked out the situation. 3 lug nuts had fallen off (didn't tighten any of them on that wheel). So, I try to limp it up to a friend's house about 1/4 of a mile away...OH YES...the wheel fell off. It stayed on the rotor and caused no damage to the car...but substantial damage to my ego when my neighbor friend came out to have a look and just rolled his eyes and shook his head. Incident report #2: I was jacking up my car in the rear jack point that I had fabricated into the trans mount...lifted the car about 20" above the ground. Didn't use jack stands...and the jack pad slid out of the jack point just 2 seconds after I got out of the way. Car fell straight down ripping a big gash into my rear FG bumper and tearing off my license plate in the process. TWO MISTAKES I"LL NEVER MAKE AGAIN.
Posted by: J P Stein Mar 23 2006, 06:29 PM
I've made only one bad mistake.......turning the first wrench
on the sumbitch.....I had no idea I'd be doing this 
for the next 6 years.
Posted by: KELTY360 Mar 23 2006, 07:41 PM
Funny stuff.
Haven't had a chance to screw up under the teener yet, but one day I was under my '47 Lincoln replacing the return spring for the accelerator pedal. Did I mention it's a very stout spring? So I hook the spring to the top mount, grip the other end with my needle nose pliers and pull towards the bottom mount which is right above my face. When it's almost hooked, the spring breaks free, throwing my clenched gripping hand into my eye socket. Bam!********Stars orbiting around my head...standing 8 count. But no spring is going to get the best of me so I try again. Did I mention it was a stout spring? Same result. Bam!******** Had a shiner for a week and a half. Finally realized if I started the spring on the bottom mount and pulled away from my face I could hook it up without the punching bag effect.
Hey Sparky, you've got a real knack...any particular reason they call you Sparky?
Marc
Posted by: messix Mar 23 2006, 08:40 PM
i'll never admit to anything. if you don' admit to it, it never happened.[i wish that works with ex wife.]
Posted by: Sparky Mar 23 2006, 08:50 PM
| QUOTE (KELTY360 @ Mar 23 2006, 08:41 PM) |
| Hey Sparky, you've got a real knack...any particular reason they call you Sparky? Marc |
Well there was the time I "forgot" to put the battery hold down clamps back on the battery in my Shelby and took a big left hand sweeper about 20 mph faster then usual. Suddenly lost power and lights. As I coasted to the side I could see a thin stream of smoke coming out form under the hood. The battery had flipped thru the fan cutting the wiring harness and slicing open the battery. The "small" electrical fire cost me about 5K in work and so many dirty looks from the wife...
Then there was the time I was ripping up a bathrrom floor in my first house and discovered why knob and tube wiring is hazardous to a sawzall
. Posted by: dan10101 Mar 23 2006, 08:54 PM
Since wrenching for over 30 years, I have quite a few. But, most I've wiped out of my mind. It's great to have short term memory.
One I carry around with me...
I was working for Goodyear. Finally ordered Rivera Wheels to go on our 71 914. They were polished and looked great. I put either 195 or 205 50 15 Goodyears on it. The back tires were a very tight fit. (more on this coming soon). I had it up in the air and was trimming the inside of the fender lip so they wouldn't rub. But up in the air I couldn't tell how much space I had. So I put a floor jack under the the LR arm and raised it up into the fenderwell. I was clearing just enough so that it would trim the lettering off the outside of the tire, but not enough to cut into the tire itself. Then I had the bright idea of spinning the tire to make sure it would clear. Suddenly the tire stopped. I had a finder jammed inbetween the top of the fender and the tire. After I got over the shock of what I did, I spun the tire back the other way and freed my bloody didget. Work backed up that day as someone had to drive me to the Dr to get stiches. The boss said I was white and wouldn't let me drive. At least the tires didn't rub as long as I kept my fingers out of the way.
Attached image(s)
Posted by: grasshopper Mar 23 2006, 09:24 PM
I need to work on my temper.... Today I was trying to remove that big ass bolt on the rear suspension that holds the brake disc on.... bar slipped and rounded off the bolt...thats not where I hurt myself... I got pissed, and punched the concrete floor.... Im pretty sure I broke my pinky finger...its purple and about twice its normal size.... trying to hide it from my mom isnt easy...... I hope it will just go away.... typing with my left hand is kinda wierd.... i need some weed 
Posted by: Toast Mar 23 2006, 10:05 PM
Dropping a metal can of glass cleaner on you 12- hour-old paint job.
Posted by: LvSteveH Mar 23 2006, 10:46 PM
I think this thread is therapeutic or something.... ok ... time to get a few skeletons out of the closet.
I was taking apart some old weber carbs and I couldn’t get the auxiliary venturi out (the part that goes across the top of the bore and has the little circle in the middle). Anyway, I grew impatient with my attempts, and got some nylon rope, wound it down, around the aux. vent. and back up through the top. I put the carb on a foam mat so it wouldn’t be damaged, and I put my foot on the top, and pulled up.
Well, with a few good pulls it didn’t come, so I decide to really lay onto it. Still no go. It occurs to me that with as much force as I’m applying, if it comes out, it’s going to be a projectile. So I grabbed a thick welding glove to put on the hand on the bottom and in the projected path. Now fully protected, I really give it a go, all I got, 100%. Sure enough it comes loose at mach 9. It was a good idea to put the padded glove on, it’s just a shame that I didn’t put it on the other hand. Apparently my unprotected hand was hanging over just enough for the flying venturi to catch my knuckle and fracture it rather nicely. The worst part of the whole deal was looking at the other fully gloved hand.
Posted by: brp914 Mar 23 2006, 10:59 PM
1. under car knocking drive flange out of trailing arm. metal rod in left hand. 5lb sledge hammer in right. bring back hammer and give it a solid whack - klink - nuthin'. hmmm, ok harder - clank! - nuthin. sumbitch. quickly draw back hammer for coup de gras. hammer flies out of hand into eye socket. world class shiner.
2. setting ig. timing on -6. got head in engine compartment next to fan. got inspection mirror in one hand and timing light in the other. Yell to brother "ok, take it to 6 thou!" WUAAAH grzzzount! mirror gets sucked into fan. the mirror may have vaporized, or may simply not exist anymore.
Posted by: Borderline Mar 23 2006, 11:01 PM
Years ago I was welding on the safety chain for the trailer. When I was done I pulled off the gloves and picked up the chain to inspect/admire my work. I quickly tossed the chain aside. My partner in the race car aked if it was hot. Another buddy responded "no, it just doesn't take him long to look at a piece of chain". I'm always doing stupid but the worse thing is to have witnesses!
Posted by: Carl Mar 23 2006, 11:26 PM
| QUOTE |
| My partner in the race car aked if it was hot. Another buddy responded "no, it just doesn't take him long to look at a piece of chain". |
Great stories today. Good fun. Thanks.
Posted by: JB 914 Mar 23 2006, 11:35 PM
| QUOTE (jhadler @ Mar 23 2006, 03:00 PM) | ||
I dunno, that just might be the winner. But the key thing is this: did you know it was a stupid move -before- you did it? -Josh2 |
The post title is "Stupid things done while working on a 914.."
NOT "Are you Stupid"
does that clarify things?
Posted by: Andyrew Mar 23 2006, 11:47 PM
| QUOTE (dan10101 @ Mar 23 2006, 07:54 PM) |
| Since wrenching for over 30 years, I have quite a few. But, most I've wiped out of my mind. It's great to have short term memory. One I carry around with me... I was working for Goodyear. Finally ordered Rivera Wheels to go on our 71 914. They were polished and looked great. I put either 195 or 205 50 15 Goodyears on it. The back tires were a very tight fit. (more on this coming soon). I had it up in the air and was trimming the inside of the fender lip so they wouldn't rub. But up in the air I couldn't tell how much space I had. So I put a floor jack under the the LR arm and raised it up into the fenderwell. I was clearing just enough so that it would trim the lettering off the outside of the tire, but not enough to cut into the tire itself. Then I had the bright idea of spinning the tire to make sure it would clear. Suddenly the tire stopped. I had a finder jammed inbetween the top of the fender and the tire. After I got over the shock of what I did, I spun the tire back the other way and freed my bloody didget. Work backed up that day as someone had to drive me to the Dr to get stiches. The boss said I was white and wouldn't let me drive. At least the tires didn't rub as long as I kept my fingers out of the way. |
I didnt know that happened on moms 914!!
funny.. heck I didnt even know you did that at your work either... Was that before or after you were married?
Posted by: JJ914 Mar 24 2006, 12:37 AM
Well here I go.
Carpet in right pass floorboard would not stay glued up. My big idea, put a short screw in top of the carpet to keep from it flopping over. Worked great on 1/4 tank of gas not so good with full tank
Screw worked like a wick drawing gas into car, got alot worse when I pulled the screw out. But its all good now.
Posted by: Porcharu Mar 24 2006, 02:13 AM
I could tell you about the time I was gas welding without any gloves under a dash and a nice molten blob of rubber fell onto my hand and seared it's way into my skin (lovely 3rd degree burn - still have a nice scar), but that would be embarassing.
The absolute dumbest thing I have ever done (while working on a car at least) was welding while being exausted - I fell asleep with a gas welder on in a closed garage.
Posted by: alpha434 Mar 24 2006, 05:42 AM
| QUOTE (majkos @ Mar 23 2006, 02:24 PM) | ||
That was ME! Thought you know what you're doing! BTW it's a Track car,doesn' t need much under the rear trunk |
HA! The one day that you're actually online! And I DO know what I'm doing. I cut that crap out REAL good, didn't I?
And next time, I'm cutting the trunk OUT! I'll pick up some tubing to brace it with before I come over next time.
WHAT NOW?!?
Posted by: 1bad914 Mar 24 2006, 06:01 AM
Drilling a hole in a piece of sheet metal that I was fabricating for the 914, I'm wearing gloves and being very careful. Then I decide to use the drill bit to elongate the hole...the bit slipped out of the hole and thru the glove and my hand. Went right thru the fleshy part between your thumb and fore finger. The worst part was that it wound up in the leather glove, I had to reverse the drill back out of my hand to get it out. Ouch! Adreniline got me thru it, my wife found me in the garage on my knees looking a little pale!
I wear rubber gloves a lot when I work on the car, smashd my finger while using a hammer, hurt like hell, but I kept on working. About a minute later I looked down at my hand and the glove was full of blood...kewl!
Stupid is as stupid does!
Posted by: zymurgist Mar 24 2006, 06:23 AM
A few non-914 adventures from "Ace Mechanic"...
When I was a kid, I had a '73 Toyota Celica. It was a real basic car... when you opened the hood, you could actually see the engine. Anyway, so there I was, adjusting the valves in my parents' driveway on a nice sunny day. I had a big socket wrench on the crankshaft pulley bolt to rotate the engine so I could do each valve in turn. I finished the job and started the car. My effort was greeted by a loud KA-THUNK! I was thinking, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot... then it dawned on me that the socket was still on the crank bolt. The socket wrench swung around and went right into the radiator. Fortunately, the damage was minor and I was able to get a friend to braze the hole up for me.
The Toyota had these trick aftermarket alloy wheels on it, as well as fog lights up front. This car was really stylin' for an 18 year old driver. These cool slotted wheels were held on by your standard acorn type lug nuts suitable for use with steel wheels, which were, in reality, totally wrong for the application. I found that out the hard way when I was driving along the road and one of the rear wheels came off. The car came to an abrupt halt, skidding along the metal shield that covered the brake drum. I thought that was a peculiar failure mode, put the wheel back on, and went about my business. This is where the stupidity comes in. Rather than perform even the most rudimentary causal analysis, I continued to drive around with the wrong lug nuts more-or-less holding the wheel on, until it happened again. This time, the emancipated wheel rolled out into the street and into the side of an old lady's car. She wasn't too happy about that, even though there was no damage to her car other than a black mark where the tire had struck it. ("You can buff that out, ma'am!") The cops came and we both told our stories... of course, I conveniently left out the part that it had happened before. He wrote me a warning and I went promptly to an auto parts store and found some lug nuts that would fit inside the holes and provide lots of thread to hold the wheels on. The wheels never came off again, at least not of their own accord.
I replaced the balancer on my '77 Corvette a few years ago. Got a trick puller tool from Summit Racing and pulled it off, no problems other than lots of grunting, getting a 20 year old part off the engine for the first (but not the last) time. Bought a new one from a Chevy dealer. Balancers come unpainted so you can paint them factory orange, factory blue, or whatever color your engine happens to be. Well, I had a can of blue spray paint that I had used to paint the valve covers. Apparently it had been sitting around for a while so the nozzle was clogged up. I thought, hmm, this is peculiar, and started messing around with it. PSSSSH! I nailed myself right in the face with blue paint. Fortunately I wear glasses so I didn't get any in my eyes... but I spent some time with mineral spirits cleaning off my face and my glasses (and I didn't even have a spare pair at the time).
Then there was the time that I finished installing $1100 worth of stereo equipment in the Corvette (and this was like 10 years ago when $1100 would buy lots of goodies), and I had barely enough time to finish reassembling the interior before a friend and I were to leave for Hershey for the day. We were running very late, so as soon as I got everything together, I started the engine and off we went. Mind you, this was a car that had been sitting over the winter, and I did not bother to check the oil. Well, that turned out to be a really hideous oversight. A week or so later, the engine developed a rod knock... apparently I had run it two quarts low and that sealed the fate of that engine. This incident kicked off a 3 year restification project on the Vette, because once I had the engine out, I found other things that needed to be done on a 25 year old car with 100,000 miles. (DWD syndrome apparently applies to all kinds of cars.) There was an upside, though... I used the opportunity to replace the 180 hp base motor with a 390 hp small block.
Fast forward to my first Porsche... so there I was, trying to track down an electrical short in my '70 911. I found that one of the red wires that attaches to the battery has a short to ground. I disconnected the wire and started using a multimeter to check continuity between the end of that wire and various locations under the dash. I unplugged the connector from the ignition switch, and I found that this wire apparently connects to multiple terminals in the connector. I then noticed that the connector has a cover on it, and I started wondering if there was a short inside the connector... so I unsnapped the cover, ever so carefully, to avoid breaking a 30 year old piece of plastic, and BAM! All the wires fell out of the connector. So there I was, with a 911 that still had a short, but now I also had munged up the wiring for the ignition switch. There were like 12 terminals all arranged in a circle, and I was wondering how I was ever going to figure out which wire was supposed to be in which position. I was eventually able to fix that with a lot of help from the guys on the bird board.
Posted by: spare time toys Mar 24 2006, 07:06 AM
I had mine up on the roll around table and was messing around fitting the peddal board when I realized I was rollong I went down the drive and hit the Suburban Its the longest ride I have had in the car too date
Posted by: jr91472 Mar 24 2006, 07:22 AM
| QUOTE (JJ914 @ Mar 23 2006, 10:37 PM) |
| Well here I go. Carpet in right pass floorboard would not stay glued up. My big idea, put a short screw in top of the carpet to keep from it flopping over. Worked great on 1/4 tank of gas not so good with full tank Screw worked like a wick drawing gas into car, got alot worse when I pulled the screw out. But its all good now. |
Hey Jason, I did the same thing but with a drill. Drill went through the sheet metal and RIGHT into the FULL gas tank.
I felt like the little Dutch boy with my finger in the dike as gas poured into the pax compartment. I yelled for my wife to bring a bucket (I could take my finger off of the hole you know..). Then spent the next 20 mins filling up a big gulp cup and then emptying it into a gas can, then into the wife car, then into my other car.
Finally, the gas level got below the hole.
Repairing the gas tank kicked off many other "while I am in there" jobs....so I guess it was meant to be.
Thanks for this thread Clay...I feel alot better.
Posted by: Dead Air Mar 24 2006, 09:58 AM
It was my stepmother's '68 MGB, circa 1977. I didn't have a license. It was sitting in the driveway, the sun was out. My folks were out of town. The batteries were dead. My across the street neighbor had an old Jag Saloon and he lent me a battery to get it started. I broke the battery clamp taking it off. It was coroded by acid. Bought a new battery clamp and broke the post in the battery while installing it with a hammer.
Drove about four miles before it quit in the middle of a four lane across from a 7/11 were three Sherrifs were having their coffee.
One stopped traffic, the other pushed and the third asked to see my license. Then he wrote me a ticket and impounded the car. I was in trouble.
Posted by: zymurgist Mar 24 2006, 11:55 AM
"installing with a hammer"
Methinks you should have quit while you were ahead.
Actually, this reminds me of another stupid kid story... my folks were out of town and my dad left his BMW 530i at home. I thought it would be cool to drive around town in a BMW, even though I had no idea how to drive a manual tranny car. I got it started, and I really wasn't doing too bad... right until the time I missed a shift and the whole shifter mechanism disappeared through the tunnel and out onto the road below.
Yep, I was in trouble.
Posted by: Thomas J Bliznik Mar 24 2006, 12:37 PM
Real funny stories guys. Things you do when your a kid.
I was 16 and just got my drivers license. Was out late past midnight with dad's Ford truck. Came home when everyone was in bed. Worried that I was in trouble & turned off the lights to coast down the long winding driveway to park behind the garage. I had no trouble seeing with a bright moon. Decided to turn off the motor and put the key's in my jeans. Ooh no, turned the wheel & the steering wheel locked up. Crashed into the corner of the garage & took out the front fender and the corner of the garage.
Yep, lost my driving privilege for a long time. When I look back it's a wonder I am alive.
Tom
Posted by: tdgray Mar 24 2006, 01:20 PM
Not really any stupid stories yet with the 914 - other than the unsual smack in nuts with the grinder and melt a glove with a hot piece of weld etc.
Two other car related incidents though.
I was replacing the clutch on my 73 BMW 2800CS. Out in the garage just working away. In those days my drink of choice was Coke and lots of it. I had a two liter and was juts taking swigs from it every once in a while. Had just got out from under the car and went to take a big drink... all of a sudden wicked freaking pain in mouth and the sensation that something was crawling around my teeth. Spit the coke out and TWO hornets come flying out. My freaking face swelled up like a ballon and my tongue was swollen for two days. Needless to say I kept the caps on the bottle after that.
Nother one, age 16 ... I was replacing the pipes and muffler on my 1964 Pontiac Bonneville (HUGE freaking car that thing was). When taking the old pipes off I broke one of the ears right at the stud... shit. I take the whole header off and take it down to the local weld shop. Guys welds the ear back on as well as welds a long stud to replace the other one. He brings it up to the counter and says "better wait for that to cool before you leave". At the same time a guy is standing next to me - listening to my conversation with the owner. I pay and go to get some rags out of my car to pick the manifold up... Other guy at the counter picks up the manifold and say to me "hey don't forget your"... then proceeds to scream in pain as he is looking at the thread pattern burned into his hand.
.... Here's your sign.
Posted by: Dr. Roger Mar 24 2006, 02:19 PM
914 story.
there's a reason they label radiators "feed" and "outlet". that's all i'm going to say.
914 story.
after just 2 days of driving my newly built V8 914 i wanted to install the 911 axles. a buddy was over and offered to help. he crawled under the car and i handed him the socket wrench. he asked why he needed the socket wrench as all of the bolts were hand loose already.... no i didn't use fresh squiggly washers or locktite...
lastly...
just wanted to back my chevelle up the driveway to have more room to work on it. left the door open. caught door on side of house and bent door backwards....
i watched it bending like it was in slow motion. stucco is realy strong. =-)
Posted by: Aaron Cox Mar 24 2006, 02:41 PM
alright, i have 2 stories from early on in my teener owner ship.
alright, so i got this 914, no motor in it. i have a steep driveway.... we checked the ebrake... it seemd to work.... push the car up the street.... to get a running start, ran it down... used the momentum to get up the driveway... pull the ebrake... and almost nothing... car slowly started rolling and accelerating backward... (i should have statyed in the car and steered it....) but i got out and tried to stop it...
i had it 99 % stopped... but the teener's nice LR tail light made friends with my sisters bumper.
lesson cost: new tail light lense.
the second one i have....
i bought new koni inserts for the 914 (about to go 5 lug).... so i put em in the 4 lig struts. went for a little drive "hey, steerung feels kinda funny???" boom... front wheel fell off... and got wedged between a arm and fender....
end result. car went home and up on jackstands for 5 lug swap.
cost of lesson - new fender and body work
Posted by: Steve Thacker Mar 24 2006, 03:08 PM
| QUOTE (alpha434 @ Mar 23 2006, 02:48 PM) |
| So when I was first learning to weld, I had a bad tendency onf setting the welding rod on my leg while I regripped it. I did it once and burned a hole through my crotch. Didn't hit anything. I said "WHOA! Better not do THAT again." Then about half an hour later, I did it again anyway. Burned a hole through my pants and 1/16 inch into my leg. About a quarter inch away from my um... utility tool. " I jumped up. Clenched my fists. And said WHOA! Better not do that again. And passed out" |
Holy shit.... and I thought I was the only person in the world to do this, including the passing out part.
Dear Brother, I so understand the WHOA part.
Posted by: Steve Thacker Mar 24 2006, 03:23 PM
| QUOTE (LvSteveH @ Mar 24 2006, 12:46 AM) |
| I think this thread is therapeutic or something.... ok ... time to get a few skeletons out of the closet. I was taking apart some old weber carbs and I couldn’t get the auxiliary venturi out (the part that goes across the top of the bore and has the little circle in the middle). Anyway, I grew impatient with my attempts, and got some nylon rope, wound it down, around the aux. vent. and back up through the top. I put the carb on a foam mat so it wouldn’t be damaged, and I put my foot on the top, and pulled up. Well, with a few good pulls it didn’t come, so I decide to really lay onto it. Still no go. It occurs to me that with as much force as I’m applying, if it comes out, it’s going to be a projectile. So I grabbed a thick welding glove to put on the hand on the bottom and in the projected path. Now fully protected, I really give it a go, all I got, 100%. Sure enough it comes loose at mach 9. It was a good idea to put the padded glove on, it’s just a shame that I didn’t put it on the other hand. Apparently my unprotected hand was hanging over just enough for the flying venturi to catch my knuckle and fracture it rather nicely. The worst part of the whole deal was looking at the other fully gloved hand. |
I think I just pissed my pants laughing. Yup I sure did.....
For people like us, who are supposed to be accomplished DIY mechanics. We all sure learn shit the hard way. The funny thing is we must never learn from our mistakes. As we use some other dumb method, that at the time looks like a great idea , only to reproduce the same bad outcome twice or more. What is with that?!
Springs, welders and hand tools end up trying to kill us!
Posted by: Spoke Mar 24 2006, 03:50 PM
None of mine involve working on the 914. I don't have to break out the tools to do something stupid.
#1:
Had my 914 for about 2 months. Start it up one morning in the attached garage and shit!, I left my work badge in the kitchen. Jump out of the car and run and get the badge. Left the driver door open, ebrake OFF. Car starts rolling out of the garage, door gets caught on the exterior wall and proceeds to bend the door backwards and pops the door glass. As Red Forman would say, "Dumb Ass".
#2:
I convince my wife that taking the 914 to the neighbors house for a party is ok. Afterwards, we go to get milk and I feel a vibration in the steering wheel. Stop, jump out look at the front wheels, they look ok. Better turn around and go home. Vibration gets worse, gets real bad. Slow the car to a crawl and open the door to look at the front wheel. At this point, there's only 2 lug nuts left on and the wheel is ready to fall off. So at 2am in the neighborhood, I empty the trunk clanging and banging to find the lug wrench and tighten the lug bolts. Wife is pissed and embarassed.
#3: OT
Working in a bowling alley doing maintenance on the pit carpet of a machine in the mechanics room behind the lanes. The pit carpet is a 3x5 ft carpet that the ball and pins land on in the machine. Old carpet torn off the board and new one completely contact cemented as well as the board. Total surface area 30 sqft of contact cement. Bored waiting the 15 minutes for the cement to set up, I read the contact cement container with its warning "Extremely Flamable". What U mean, "Extremely Flammable"? So I test (I'm only 18) flammability on the lid of the container with a match. Light the match, and WOOSH! Both the carpet and the board go up in flames. Flames hit the ceiling of the mechanics room. I panic and grab the fire extinguisher and luckily put out the flames with relatively no damage. The room is now filled with this white powdery substance that takes me about 3 hours to clean up. Moral of the story, if it says "Extremely Flammable", BELIEVE IT!
Spoke
Posted by: jd74914 Mar 24 2006, 03:50 PM
There are some great stories here. I have a few but only 1 thats really 914 related. Most of my dumbest things involve broken bones and falls
I was getting ready to make some patches, and was grinding down rust with a braided wire wheel. I put down the grinder for a min to go do something, and came back a little later. This time I forgot my left glove. I didn't notice and then preceeded to have the grinder slip and grind off the tip of my middle finger. Damn that was alot of blood.
Next dumb one was one day a friend and I were working on his rabbit. We went out for a test ride and it broke down, so we pushed it back to his house, which has a gently sloping driveway. Then, he "put on" the ebrake and we went to get some drinks. Next thing we see is the car rolling down the driveway. we both run out (by now its almost in the road) and go behind it to try and stop it. Now a car is comming, but we did manage to stop it before it went into the ditch on the other side of the road. Then, this guy buzzes the rabbit and goes off road, grazing a ditch which bottomed out the car We picked up his muffler later.
Posted by: efeinsmith Mar 24 2006, 04:20 PM
#1: Not mechanical, but some might question my judgement. After a three day Skip Barber Racing School in Lime Rock, Conn. (running Formula Fords), I was running late, so I didn't bother taking off the flame suit. I just tossed my helmet onto the passanger seat of the 914 and headed home. While heading down the Taconic Parkway, mindset still on track driving, I took the exit WAY(!!!) too fast. Though the tires complained bitterly (all of 165 x 15's, I must have learned something at the class, because I did not lose it through the turn.
#2: After retiring to rural Alabama (no laughs out there, I have waterfront property on a 30,000 acre lake), I needed to transport my "in progress" V8 conversion. After getting it off the transporter (no engine, trans, or brakes), I needed to go uphill, so I took the country approach. Attached a line to the tow hook and pulled it with a John Deere! Now that's country :-)
Posted by: alpha434 Mar 24 2006, 04:41 PM
| QUOTE (Steve Thacker @ Mar 24 2006, 01:08 PM) | ||
Holy shit.... and I thought I was the only person in the world to do this, including the passing out part. Dear Brother, I so understand the WHOA part. |
Nobody readily realizes how sensitive the inner thigh is. DAMN THAT HURT!!!
I've nearly lost fingers before. And that didn't even phase me. I've fallen from a 3 story building and got back up without even a bruise. But I would do ALL of that rather than burn myself with a piece of welding rod on my inner thigh again.
Posted by: Aaron Cox Mar 24 2006, 04:46 PM
| QUOTE (alpha434 @ Mar 24 2006, 03:41 PM) |
| I've fallen from a 3 story building and got back up without even a bruise. |
are you superman? or BS man?
Posted by: alpha434 Mar 24 2006, 04:51 PM
Superman. I rolled when I hit. I was cleaning the shop roof gutter. Got attacked by a swarm of hornets. Found a good place to land and dropped. Rolled ten feet. Got up. Al was pretty pissed. Said I scared the shit out of him. Shook myself off. And told him that we had a problem with hornets. And that I was going to need some carb cleaner for when I go back up there.
Posted by: spare time toys Mar 24 2006, 07:06 PM
| QUOTE (alpha434 @ Mar 24 2006, 05:41 PM) |
| Nobody readily realizes how sensitive the inner thigh is. DAMN THAT HURT!!! |
Tell me about it
I was using a die grinder with a rottery file in it to trim up the edge of a bag bin repair. I was standing on a platform and had one foot in the bag bin when I got distracted by John Lamb walking up and yelling at me to be carefull. About that time the bit grabbed and jumped and hit my inner thigh It sort of felt like a little twist on my flesh. John just stood there locked up and looking pale I quick got some shop towels and covered where skin used to be and went to the Doc in a box. It took 10 stiches to close it up. I asked John not to yell at me when I am working anymore.
Posted by: alpha434 Mar 24 2006, 07:14 PM
I'll bet every stitch hurt like crazy and that you couldn't walk for days!
Posted by: messix Mar 24 2006, 07:30 PM
ok just today i go down to spirted sheep headers' house to get a couple of rear calipers off his wreak, and decided to use my trailer park impact wrench on the caliper bolts and what did i do on the third wack....... yep, right square on my thumb. nice 1.5 lb ball peen hammer missed the cheapo wrench. gonna have a marlynn mason thumb nail for a while.
Posted by: mikelsr Mar 24 2006, 07:34 PM
| QUOTE (Mueller @ Mar 23 2006, 12:19 PM) |
| stood over the carb on a 914/V8 and poured gas into it while Brad cranked over the engine...resulting backfire out of the carb removed hair from one arm and partial removal of eyebrows :o |
Reminds me of a friend who did the same thing but he had a beard. He put the flames out on the car before he put his beard out. Now that is a car guy!
Posted by: bondo Mar 24 2006, 07:42 PM
| QUOTE (Dr. Roger @ Mar 24 2006, 01:19 PM) |
| 914 story. there's a reason they label radiators "feed" and "outlet". that's all i'm going to say. |
They do? I've actually never seen that... I've just always known the outlet is at the bottom because water pumps can't suck air.
Posted by: zymurgist Mar 25 2006, 08:50 AM
OK, this one is actually a 914 story.
I have this wanna-be mechanic friend (female, if that makes a difference ) who decided to check the engine oil in a 914 she had recently purchased, and she put the oil cap on top of the air filter box (both of which are black). She got called away, and when she returned to her car, she neglected to replace the cap. She drove off in the car and thought nothing of it. Later, when she discovered that the cap had gone missing, she searched fruitlessly for that oil cap in the engine bay. Needing to cover the hole left by the missing cap, she substituted a rubber plug in place of the oil cap and went on with life. The following day, while on her way to meet an old friend for lunch, the car started making hideous noises and ground to a halt. It turned out that the missing oil cap had worked its way down into the cooling fan, which resulted in shearing off the clutch on one end of the crank and the fan housing on the other. (I am not making this up.) The fuel injected 2.0 engine was now an expensive pile of scrap metal. For want of a nail, the shoe was lost, etc. She ended up buying another engine core, since the case in the 914 engine had a crack that had been sealed with JB Weld, and a mutual friend then rebuilt the engine for her.
Posted by: Rrrockhound Mar 25 2006, 02:19 PM
Not a 914 story, but at least it's in the VW-Porsche family...
For my very first stab at being a mechanic, I tried changing the oil on my mother's '78 Rabbit. But try as I might, I couldn't get the oil filter off. I tried 2 or 3 different oil filter wrenches, and as a last resort, I impaled the oil filter with a big effin' screwdriver, as oil spilled all over the garage floor...but it just wouldn't come off. Mom had to call a mechanic to make a house call. Later the next day in school, it hit me...working from above the engine, not below, I was trying to turn the damn thing the wrong way.
On the same car once, changing the front brake pads, I made the mistake of not loosening the lug nuts until after jacking the car up. I applied full body torque to the lug wrench, and watched in slow motion as the car rocked forward off the jack...Until then, I never knew what kind of strength the human body could muster in times of crisis...
Anyway, I felt terrible that Mom had to pay a mechanic because of my f***-up, because she didn't have a lot of money at that time. But I guess the new Saab I bought her a couple of years ago made up for it.
Posted by: davep Apr 3 2006, 06:10 PM
Years ago an acquaintance came to me complaining about an intermittent oil leak, like about every time he added oil. Every time he checked his oil it was down, so he would add some, and soon enough there would be a puddle. He couldn't figure out how his engine could be so low and yet overflow. I could easily tell that something was wrong, so I asked him to show me what he was doing. I had to try to politely tell him that the timing inspection hole over the fan was NOT the oil filler.
Posted by: Pat Garvey Apr 3 2006, 07:14 PM
I decided to change the bushings on my 914 shocks, didn't have a spring compressor handy & the rental place was out. So............
Had a crappy aftermarket manual at the time (very old!), which offered the idea of using the spare wheel as a compressor. You were supposed to stand the strut on end, with the top end protruding through the center opening of the spare wheel, and apply compression by sitting on the wheel. Then, ratchet off the top nut.
My 200 pound bulk wasn't enough, so I asked my better half to help by sitting on my lap (one of my better excuses for getting her to sit on my lap). Sits on my lap, which is now enough compression power, but the bottom of the strut tilts slightly & the whole assembly takes off like a rocket from below. We are both left flat on the garage floor & the strut takes off for the other side of the garage....which just happens to be where my precious 911E is!!!!
Strut smacked hard & heavy against one of the Fuchs "petals" & cracks the damned thing! One new wheel purchased!
Lessons learned?
Try not to be so stupid in the future (still trying)
Tools, tools, tools - if they're not available, wait until they are.
The thing could have fired itself at my compression nut(s)
Getting friendly with the wife whould be limited to other areas of the house (though she did help me prepare for a concours nude!)
Use the factory shop manuals!!!!!
Posted by: Eric_Shea Apr 3 2006, 08:05 PM
| QUOTE |
| an acquaintance came to me |
an acquaintance... how many of your guys are buying THAT?
Posted by: d914 Apr 3 2006, 08:57 PM
most of my gotcha's involve me a 914 and a trailer.....
- didn't chock the wheels on the trailer, thunder storm pops up, some nice gusts of wind and I find my car trailer 50 yards down the block. Thankfully a cable box stopped it and not a neighbors car!!
- Roebling road going to unload the car, ramps down, straps off...buddy comes out of his trailer and tells me to leave it till morning. So a crank the trailer off the truck...Last turn of the crank, trailer comes off hitch and the car rolls down the ramps and runs over a fence....Mean while there are THREE of us just watching the car leave the scene...
need I go on.....I sold the trailer!!!!
Posted by: davep Apr 3 2006, 09:57 PM
| QUOTE (Eric_Shea @ Apr 3 2006, 06:05 PM) |
| an acquaintance... how many of your guys are buying THAT? |
Watch it bud, or I'll be selling you more antifreeze for that 914 of yours.
Posted by: army dude Apr 4 2006, 12:10 AM
OK, here is mine....
getting ready to pull engine on first 914 I decided to try to see what would happen to the engine when going down a hill, I throw it from 5th to 2nd, tach goes all the way right and needle falls to the bottom of the guage. No idea how many rpms I am turning. Engine holds, front right wheel bearing goes out. WTF!!! I am on a winding road in East San Diego and can't control my steering. Hit brakes. Thought that would be a good idea - wrong! Car pulls left asap and cuts right behind a 18 wheeler and introduces the bumper to the side of the hill. Now car is at a 40 degree angle on the side of a hill, smashed bumper, lost air dam, cracked windshield, dented rims, blown front tires and a hell of a bump on my head where I smashed the steering wheel.
Then I said I would never do something that stupid again.
Then, after car is fixed , and I borrowed two wheels to go driving , I head down to Chula Vista junk yards to get a set of new rims. I find a nice set of alloys and do the swap right there in the parking lot. Now I want to check my car out. Looks awesome. Friend is proud too! We leave and she says she feels a vibration at her foot. Now I do. We make final turn down the hill heading to the highway when passenger tire"S" come off. I get out and look and drivers tires are on by a total of 3 nuts. Lesson - dont try to impress anybody till the job is done.
AND NOW, WHAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!....................
I am with my buddy in his 74 firebird at Lajolla beach. Car wont start. We have had a few beers. It is Sunday. $10 dollars between us. Figure out fuel pimp crapped out on us. We are both jet engine mechanics/ combat search and rescue divers for the Navy. WE have the IQ points to fix this. Solution. Walk to gas station. Buy only gas can they have. 5 gallon red plastic can with spout. Fill it ALL the way. Get to car, take off air cleaner. Pour gas in cup to see if car will start. Pour in carb, turn it over - no problem. I get volunteered to act as fuel pump. Climb in engine area. Sit fat ass on radiator. Each foot extended to the hood hinges. Fun directly under nutz. Balance gas can on left knee and try to meter fuel into open carb. Car starts and is extremely jerky. He backs up and off we go. Start driving up huge hill from beach to get home. He is trying to accelerate and I am sitting there pouring fuel in trying to keep steady flow. Not working well. Get up to intersection and we are blocked in by several cars waiting for red light. People are lookin at me stupidly. I stick my tounge out at car next to me. He wasnt happy. Light must have turned green cause i am now almost eating the radiator hose. We get going and make it to I-5 and have to get on and then off. Then to the road we live on which is actually a huge hill down then up. Then into our apartments. We park. I have cramps in my legs and both shoes are filled with gas. The guys I stuck my tongue out at followed us and was an off duty cop. He called for an on duty but after we talked to him and the other cop he let us off with a warning. Only cause we made it in one piece. I finally realized how stupid that was.
Oh to be young again.
Ian in Iraq
35 days till stateside
42 days till driving
Posted by: redshift Apr 4 2006, 12:20 AM
| QUOTE (SirAndy @ Mar 23 2006, 02:18 PM) |
| it missed my face by about 5" and it went so fast that i didn't even see it. that could have been *ugly* ... Andy |
I have seen your green tongue picture... it couldn't have been too bad..
It was hot, and I was frustrated, and about 23, and my starter didn't work, so I bitched, and took the screwdriver out.. I hit the terminals on the starter..
My girlfriend actually laughed.
The car was in second... if I could have held the screwdriver steady, it would have jumped me... but it pushed me around, and just made a big pinchy tread bruise.
OUCHHHHHHH
M
Posted by: redshift Apr 4 2006, 12:23 AM
| QUOTE (grasshopper @ Mar 23 2006, 11:24 PM) |
| I need to work on my temper.... |
Oh my GOD NOOOOOOO!(you need pharmapalogisticals!)
Don't do that, again.
M
Posted by: redshift Apr 4 2006, 12:24 AM
| QUOTE (Eric_Shea @ Apr 3 2006, 10:05 PM) | ||
an acquaintance... how many of your guys are buying THAT? |
rofl!M
Posted by: Porcharu Apr 4 2006, 01:04 AM
OT - My father in law told me this one a little while ago. He retired from the United maintenence facility in SFO. A mechanic is working on one of those power units they use to power the plane when the engines are off. He needs to add a hole to this panel to meet FAA regs. He plops the panel on his lap and procedes to drill a hole the drill POPs thru the metal goes thru his pants and into his "unit". The bad part is it gets all wound up on the drill bit. One of the other mechanics gets to unchuck the bit from the drill and haul the guy to the hospital where they unscrew the drill bit from his croutch. This guy had 30+ years at United.
Powered by Invision Power Board (http://www.invisionboard.com)
© Invision Power Services (http://www.invisionpower.com)