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Posted by: Howard Apr 19 2006, 12:25 PM

Posted by: drewvw Apr 19 2006, 12:27 PM

virgin on prom night?

Posted by: drgchapman Apr 19 2006, 12:29 PM

South American soccer player

Posted by: Howard Apr 19 2006, 12:32 PM

Z's shorts

Posted by: dagdal1967 Apr 19 2006, 12:32 PM

.... faster than Paris Hilton in a Dallas Cowboys locker room..

Posted by: rmital Apr 19 2006, 12:36 PM

..a White House Intern.

Posted by: TROJANMAN Apr 19 2006, 12:37 PM

howard bending over to pick up a a piece of a ferrari

Posted by: blitZ Apr 19 2006, 12:41 PM

914 up a jackstand.

Posted by: SirAndy Apr 19 2006, 12:42 PM

quicker than you can say:

" the PHP5 ISAPI Filter DLL is a buggy piece of shit!"


anyone know of a bug-free version of PHP? haha, must be an oximoron ...

god, i *HATE* PHP ... bunch of loser college kid snot nose idiot programmers ...
they should all be shot. dammit.

I HATE PHP

yes, i do feel better now, thanks for asking,
Andy

Posted by: sjhowitson Apr 19 2006, 12:42 PM

A puppies peter

Posted by: drewvw Apr 19 2006, 12:49 PM

I feel your pain but...PHP isn't that bad come on! Have you messed with the INI files to tailor the config for the BBS? That can make a huge difference.....

brad told me you are an ASP guru....

Posted by: balljoint Apr 19 2006, 12:51 PM

North-Eastern Nine-Fourteen undergoing the "Big-Butt Test".

Posted by: Joe Ricard Apr 19 2006, 12:53 PM

The direction of this thread

Posted by: Aaron Cox Apr 19 2006, 12:56 PM

faster than a fat kid on cake

Posted by: SirAndy Apr 19 2006, 12:56 PM

ini file?













dude ...

Posted by: drewvw Apr 19 2006, 12:59 PM

just trying to help! One of the more common environment problems with PHP. I will shut up now...


what is a "Big-Butt Test"?

Posted by: JerryP Apr 19 2006, 01:00 PM

faster than.......Gerry Cooney

Posted by: So.Cal.914 Apr 19 2006, 01:02 PM

Than Monica Luinski

Posted by: SirAndy Apr 19 2006, 01:02 PM

you think THAT is a INI problem ???

============================================
The HTTP server encountered an unhandled exception while processing the ISAPI Application '
php5ts!_efree + 0x8A
php5ts!get_zend_version + 0x26E
php5ts!php_request_shutdown + 0x377
php5isapi!HttpExtensionProc + 0x438
wam!HSE_APPDLL::ExecuteRequest(class WAM_EXEC_INFO *) + 0x3B
wam!WAM::InvokeExtension(class HSE_BASE *,char const *,class WAM_EXEC_INFO *) + 0x35
wam!WAM::ProcessRequest(struct IWamRequest *,unsigned long,int *,int *) + 0x11D
w3svc!CWamInfo::ProcessWamRequest(class HTTP_REQUEST *,struct EXEC_DESCRIPTOR *,class STR const *,int *,int *) + 0x68
w3svc!WAM_DICTATOR::ProcessWamRequest(class HTTP_REQUEST *,struct EXEC_DESCRIPTOR *,class STR const *,int *,int *) + 0xD2
w3svc!HTTP_REQUEST::DoWamRequest(struct EXEC_DESCRIPTOR *,class STR const &,int *,int *) + 0x50
w3svc!HTTP_REQUEST::ProcessBGI(struct EXEC_DESCRIPTOR *,int *,int *,int) + 0x10D
w3svc!HTTP_REQUEST::DoWork(int *) + 0x3E5
w3svc!CLIENT_CONN::DoWork(unsigned long,unsigned long,int) + 0xFE
w3svc!CreateClient(struct _CLIENT_CONN_PARAMS *) + 0x3F
w3svc!W3OnConnectEx(void *,unsigned long,unsigned long,struct _OVERLAPPED *) + 0x8D
ISATQ!_AtqBandwidthGetInfo@12 + 0x41F
ISATQ!_AtqBandwidthGetInfo@12 + 0x63C
KERNEL32!lstrcmpiW + 0xBE
'.

Posted by: Joe Ricard Apr 19 2006, 01:02 PM

what is a "Big-Butt Test"?
[/quote]

remove top open windows. get person with big butt to sit in seat. open doors and then close doors. if the doors don't close either the longs are rusted or the butt is too big.

Posted by: drewvw Apr 19 2006, 01:06 PM

It very well could. My team is looking at what you sent right now...I'll get back to you if we get any bright ideas.


Thanks joe, Now I need to find someone with a big ass for my car.

Posted by: seanery Apr 19 2006, 01:11 PM

This site goes down quicker than Aaron on Matt!

Posted by: SirAndy Apr 19 2006, 01:14 PM

among about another 32 programming/scripting languages ...
i'm a computer guy, i work with anything that's out there.

i hate PHP because it's buggy and some of the cumbersome syntax is annoying at best.
there's thousands of examples of bad judgment calls in programming/scripting languages.

take java for example. they try to make you believe it's "bad programming"" to have a GOTO command (jump to a label).
i call it BS! not one single computer on this planet would even start up without a GOTO command available to the CPU.
bad programming my ass. i can show you a few java functions where it would be much faster, cleaner and to the point to use a GOTO command.

most of the kids today that work on developing those programming languages have never ever used any machine language. or seen it for that matter.
and it shows in their attempts ...

i hate 'em ...

thanks for listening,
Andy

PS: you wanna be cool? try to learn "Brainfuck".
and yes, it's a programming language. do a search on google.

Posted by: bd1308 Apr 19 2006, 01:18 PM

like BASIC

I wrote a hangman game for BASIC (for the Apple IIgs), over 2000 lines of code.

in fifth grade during recess....

b

Posted by: Aaron Cox Apr 19 2006, 01:20 PM

har har

Posted by: drewvw Apr 19 2006, 01:22 PM

You certainly got your reasons....I definitely agree with you that Java and .Net are way better than PHP.

and as for the GOTOs, you do have a point there.....


pm sent with some thoughts on the php issues.

Posted by: seanery Apr 19 2006, 01:30 PM

Sorry Aaron, it's like Howard opened the door for that answer and nobody took it, so I had to.

Posted by: Aaron Cox Apr 19 2006, 01:32 PM

i figured so - i dont really care

Posted by: jasons Apr 19 2006, 01:57 PM

I don't care what language you write in, at compile time it becomes a nasty nest of "goto"s or Jumps and Branches specifically. I've done my share of assembly in college and in one of my jobs. Now I'm do'in C++ and I actually would prefer to be working on an Assembly project.


Oh and this site goes down faster than Alpha and a <you fill in the blank>

Posted by: Headrage Apr 19 2006, 03:22 PM

retired insurance broker on a wrecked Ferrari.

Posted by: sjhowitson Apr 19 2006, 03:24 PM

A Tennessee Leg hound on my uncle ted

Posted by: Mr.C Apr 19 2006, 03:28 PM

I find this strange.

Posted by: (*)(*) Apr 19 2006, 03:31 PM

....fat chick's prom dress.....

Posted by: BigDBass Apr 19 2006, 04:07 PM

I don't! I did it too.

Posted by: MW 914 Apr 19 2006, 05:08 PM

Posted by: Howard Apr 19 2006, 05:14 PM

10 PRINT "WHO HIJACKED MY TOPIC???"
20 GOTO 10

Posted by: fiid Apr 19 2006, 05:17 PM

your mom.

Posted by: r_towle Apr 19 2006, 05:19 PM

Looks like an Ini file to me...

Posted by: r_towle Apr 19 2006, 05:21 PM

then a goat for Miles

Posted by: kwales Apr 19 2006, 05:55 PM

The correct answer is "the Titanic only went down once"....

But what is the correct question?

Ken

Posted by: Vacca Rabite Apr 19 2006, 06:33 PM

Was the site down today? I wouldn't know. Verison had on of its OC12s cut in the morning today (we think) and our entire campus was off line from 6am - when I left at 5.

What the hell did I do before the internet? I got so much work done today....

Zach

Posted by: Sideways Apr 19 2006, 06:56 PM

$2 Hooker

Posted by: Brando Apr 19 2006, 07:03 PM

For windows?

Nah... Unix/Linux/BSD yes. All 5 major releases

Posted by: 7T Porsha Apr 19 2006, 09:10 PM

Posted by: Verruckt Apr 19 2006, 09:22 PM

a bug free version of PHP? Yes. But it comes in tar.gz format, and doesn't have any dll's or ini's. Don't know if that would work for you or not...

Posted by: Toast Apr 19 2006, 09:32 PM

Groupie

Posted by: SirAndy Apr 19 2006, 11:20 PM

yeah, sure ... god i'm sooo tired of this shit ...

OK, here's the deal, *YOU* get me a dual cpu server with raid array, lots of ram and plenty of harddrive space *for free*, install a working copy of unix/linux of your choice, make it work with this bbs software, migrate all the existing data over and then volunteer for sysadmin ...

deal?
Andy

Posted by: Andyrew Apr 20 2006, 01:22 AM

You doin good andy...

Just think, 100's of men (and a few women) come here every day to get their fix...

Consider yourself a crack dealer, a pimp, a GOD, exc..

but you work for free!!

(thats a damn nice pimp dawg...)

Posted by: Brando Apr 20 2006, 01:54 AM

Andy, settle down mang.

All you need to do is ask nicely. I still have friends in the web hosting biz (got to when you used to collect checks as a web app. developer). Problem is you're trying to meet out of your own time what most hosting companies provide for a hell of a lot less stress. You name it, they got it. Starting around $5.99/month... I know a few places. Migrating is simple, yet time consuming. Export DB to raw text file, install BBS software, import the text file, setup BBS with proper mysql login/pw, rebuild your filesystem, copy it all over... Done it hundreds of times.

Some of us have skills relevant to web development... The big issue you're facing is you are using software not designed to run on the platform you have. Although it was easier to install a windows operating system, windows versions of apache and PHP (both far less stable than their *nix compilations), or MS's IIS instead of Apache (far less secure). It's going to be a PITA. And I definitely give you a hand and all of my gratitude for enduring it.

I just didn't think you were into pain

Posted by: redshift Apr 20 2006, 02:25 AM

hahaha a goat on Mi... HEY!



... faster than a raped escort on a lacrosse team...


M

Posted by: VegasRacer Apr 20 2006, 04:03 AM

I am really disappointed in everyone. You all missed the obvious answer.

This site goes down quicker than a Led Zeppelin.


Attached image(s)

Posted by: pfierb Apr 20 2006, 04:12 AM

It dosen't go down any more often than my cable high speed internet and for that I pay a fortune to Charter......So this site is one of the best deals around!!!!!!!

Posted by: SirAndy Apr 20 2006, 10:41 AM

see the *other* thread for reasons why i think moving to a "rented" space is not a good idea ...

Andy

Posted by: drewvw Apr 20 2006, 11:53 AM

IMHO, if the site is going "LLC" and expanding, and you already have server(s) and admins who know what they are doing (and obviously we have both ), racking is a better way to go as opposed to renting. Total control over the site and associated hardware/software/OS is a good thing....

Posted by: 1970 Neun vierzehn Apr 20 2006, 11:58 AM

.............. pitcher of cheap beer at a frat party".

Posted by: sjhowitson Apr 20 2006, 12:01 PM

pitcher of beer at my house

Cheers

Posted by: SirAndy Apr 20 2006, 08:54 PM

i'm sure you meant "Lead Zeppelin" ...

Andy

Posted by: VegasRacer Apr 20 2006, 09:07 PM

Hey. Don't ask me.
You are gonna have to check with Keith Moon who named the band.
Or you could ask the guys who built the Hindenburg.

Posted by: (*)(*) Apr 20 2006, 09:13 PM

Yeah let's ask Keith.....

Yo Keith why'd name it "Led" Zeppelin.....


Keith.....KEITH..... HEY KEITH....
Fuck, he must be dead!!!!!