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Posted by: Red-Beard Sep 30 2003, 05:13 PM

The GF sent me an internet hoax today. So I had to oblige and send her the CIAC's website which debunks them.

I located my favorite, the ood old Goodtime warning and Goodtimes spoof.

Ahhh. The good old days....

Remember this:

The original "Good Times" message that was posted and circulated in November and December of 1994 contained the following warning:

Here is some important information. Beware of a file called Goodtimes.
Happy Chanukah everyone, and be careful out there. There is a virus on
America Online being sent by E-Mail. If you get anything called "Good Times",
DON'T read it or download it. It is a virus that will erase your hard drive.
Forward this to all your friends. It may help them a lot.


December 1996

The Goodtimes Spoof

READ THIS:

Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but
it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It
will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.

It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It
will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and
leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming
over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit
pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.

Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will
give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your
gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your
girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to
your Discover card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she
is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the
grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't
find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on
your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It
is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather
interesting shade of mauve.

Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the
toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub
and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.

Listen to me. Goodtimes does not exist.

It cannot do anything to you. But I can. I am sending this
message to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your
family. If anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake
Goodtimes Virus, I will turn hating them into a religion. I will do
things to them that would make a horsehead in your bed look like
Easter Sunday brunch.

So there, take that Good Times.

James

Posted by: redshift Sep 30 2003, 05:18 PM

Posted by: seanery Sep 30 2003, 05:20 PM

I moved my beer out of the fridge so it couldn't find it, and flushed the neighbor's cat down the toilet.

Posted by: redshift Sep 30 2003, 05:28 PM

Posted by: Red-Beard Sep 30 2003, 05:48 PM

Posted by: redshift Sep 30 2003, 05:52 PM

QUOTE

It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub
and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.

I don't know why, but I laugh my ass off everytime I read these lines...

James

Posted by: Red-Beard Sep 30 2003, 06:01 PM

More like a Tsunami....

James