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Posted by: Mark Henry Jun 28 2006, 10:16 AM

Just got off the phone with my brother Steve he is nearing the end of his battle with cancer. The doctor hates to say how long but were down to weeks.
They're taking him off all his meds, just morphine.
He wants to go home.

I think I'm going to go have a good cry....59 is too young...

Posted by: Headrage Jun 28 2006, 10:19 AM

Really sorry to hear the news..

Keep yer chin up buddy...

Posted by: Bruce Allert Jun 28 2006, 10:20 AM

Sorry to hear Buddy, Home is the best place to die. Same thing my wife wanted. The 3 of us kept a 24 hour vigil until her last breath.

Don't leave him alone.....

.........b

Posted by: drive-ability Jun 28 2006, 10:23 AM

Mark,
Theres nothing that can prepare us for this in life, hang in there.

Posted by: 1bad914 Jun 28 2006, 10:26 AM

Hang in there Mark. Lost my mother-in-law the same way, just make him comfortable.

Posted by: Eric_Shea Jun 28 2006, 10:26 AM

Go be with your brother. I'm sure you'll be glad you did. 59 is too young... I've got a tear going with ya.

Hang in there.

Posted by: drewvw Jun 28 2006, 10:28 AM

I am truly saddened to hear that....

Posted by: redshift Jun 28 2006, 10:29 AM

I am so sorry, Mark.

I don't have much an idea of what to say, except it's nice to have people around who care.

Peace.


Miles

Posted by: Air_Cooled_Nut Jun 28 2006, 10:32 AM

My g/f held her father's hand when he died at home from cancer and he, too, wasn't old. Her relationship w/her father was less than ideal but she still wouldn't trade that moment for anything. My best friend's sister died from cancer in her late twenties (it was a long battle, too). She wanted to be home with her family (she was a mother) and they let her.

Respect your brother's wishes. Home is the best place. I'm really, really sorry

Posted by: BigDBass Jun 28 2006, 10:33 AM

I can't begin to imagine what you're dealing with. I can't imagine going through something like this with my brother. I hope the collective goodwill of your 914club brothers and sisters can help you through this.

Posted by: messix Jun 28 2006, 10:33 AM

no words will do here, just know that we here feel for you and your family.

Posted by: Mark Henry Jun 28 2006, 10:35 AM

I can't be with him, he 2000 miles away in BC, I went there a couple of months ago. Some of his friends, wife and two daughters will be with him.
My mom is 79 and too frail.

After watching my dad die last fall I can't handle it. Plus my kids need me.

Posted by: WRX914 Jun 28 2006, 10:36 AM

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Posted by: tdgray Jun 28 2006, 10:37 AM

So sorry to hear this.

Gotta agree with everyone else... when I go I want to be at home with family and friends not in a hospital.

Chin up bud.

Posted by: zymurgist Jun 28 2006, 10:47 AM

I'm sorry to hear about Steve. Can't offer any advice, but sending good thoughts your way.

Posted by: scottb Jun 28 2006, 10:49 AM

hey mark,

i am so sorry for what you are going through. i lost my mom unexpectedly at age 59. yep, way too early.

it may be cliche' but this brief story really helped me during tough times. it's all a journey my friend.... chin up.

scott

===========

GONE FROM MY SIGHT


am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"

And that is dying.

=======

Posted by: maf914 Jun 28 2006, 10:59 AM

Mark,

I hope you're brother can go home and be with his family. That is his wish and it's probably best for him.

Last year my mother died from cancer and complications. She was in ICU with a small chance of recovery, but she didn't make it. We regret that we couldn't take her home. I think about that often.

There is nothing easy about this. My thoughts are with you.

Posted by: Jenny Jun 28 2006, 11:03 AM

Mark, I'm so sorry to hear of this. I know you can't drop your career and kids to be with your brother in his last days, but if you could spare a weekend, I think it would help you to say goodbye to him in person. It will bring you closure, and give you a chance to talk to him. It will be emotional, no doubt, but probably easier than being there when he goes. You don't want to have regrets and what-ifs lingering if you don't get a chance to see him again.

My brother and I are on haitus right now, but I can't ever imagine losing him... I am so terribly sorry you have to face this, when you've already endured so much loss recently. Please don't hesitate to lean on the club, your loved ones and family for support. And know that we'll have your brother, his wife and kids, you, and the rest of your family in our thoughs and prayers.

Peace.

Jenny

Posted by: krazykonrad Jun 28 2006, 11:31 AM

You're bothe in our thoughts an prayers!
Konrad

Posted by: Howard Jun 28 2006, 11:33 AM

Sad Stuff. Best wishes from our place to yours.

Posted by: Lou W Jun 28 2006, 02:30 PM

Im sorry to hear this, the best place for you is with your brother and family and hopefully at home.

I had a friend pass away today after a long battle with cancer, Wendell Cutting, he was 58, that's too young, he left a great legacy and did alot for the under-privileged throughout the world, the world is a better place because of him and his work.

My prayers are with you, be grateful for the times you had with him.

Posted by: Kargeek Jun 28 2006, 03:18 PM

Mark,

I am so sorry to hear about your brother. It's a sad thing that he and your family have to go through.

Cancer is a horrible thing. I lost both my mom and dad and grandparents to cancer and at 52 years old I am battling my own issues with post prostrate cancer treatment metastasis.

With no cure for your brother he will end his constant pain and suffering and move on to a better place.

Let the memories of his life fulfill you in taking the steps to maintain your health and to be a positive influence of such with others. Life is a very precious thing and even more so when faced with early age issues of mortality.

You may not be able to be with him in his later days but as a good brother I’m sure he knows how much you care.

God Bless, DH

Posted by: iamchappy Jun 28 2006, 03:38 PM

Mark you and yours have been through more than I can imagine, hang in there for your brother and family, my prayers are with all of you.
Dont fret, if you believe, all those who go before us, " We will see again.!"

Posted by: KaptKaos Jun 28 2006, 03:41 PM

Prayers sent.

Joe & Family

Posted by: arc914 Jun 28 2006, 03:42 PM

Hey Mark and family
man oh man.In the end a man is measured not by what he has or has accomplished but by how many people are at his funeral.
If his time is down to weeks then that means you will be leaving for his funeral shorty right.I agree with some other ovservsations that you should go down a few days before his clock runs out and spend some time with him.
you were there for each other as you both discovered this world of ours growing up and now he will be on to a new discovery but alone.Just my 2Cents but this summer will play over and over with you for years to come.
I lost my mom at 52 and i had a whole 45 mins to prepare when i got the call and i was 45min away so i had to travel but was there. No regrets.
As always if i can help, if you need aplace to stay on your way from there to BC let me know.
one teener to another
Cheers
Andrew in the Soo

Posted by: watsonrx13 Jun 28 2006, 04:00 PM

Mark, you and your family are in our family prayers...

-- Rob

Posted by: Jeroen Jun 28 2006, 04:21 PM

Man... that's tough news
Hang in there!

Posted by: elwood-914 Jun 28 2006, 04:32 PM

Hey Mark,
Rember good times with him and know he is going to a better place. He won't be in pain anymore. Prayers are sent.

Tim

Posted by: Flat VW Jun 28 2006, 05:43 PM

Posted by: DNHunt Jun 28 2006, 06:03 PM

Mark, I am sorry to hear this. You, your brother and family are in my prayers.

Dave

Posted by: Joe Owensby Jun 28 2006, 06:11 PM

Sorry to hear about your brother. No good words to say. You both will be in our thoughts and prayers. Joe O.

Posted by: lotus_65 Jun 28 2006, 06:45 PM

sorry, mark.

peace to you and yours.

paul b.

Posted by: evan Jun 28 2006, 07:31 PM

Mark,
If you can at most any cost---- go be with him. Close or not blood is blood family is family!!! My mother passed at 52 and I did not get to be with her at all. My best friend (and employer) passed away a couple years ago at the very very young age of 36 and it was hard, they did not have a name really for his cancer. but i was like family and he was my younger brother I spent some great time with him. Prayers are with you from all of us!! Can we help?

Evan

Posted by: tracks914 Jun 28 2006, 08:15 PM

My thoughts are with you. If you can't be with him, talk to him on the phone as much as he can. Phone calls are cheap and you won't regret it, not for a minute.
59 is way too young.

Posted by: kwales Jun 28 2006, 08:57 PM

Mark, I am very sorry to hear this.

Hang in there. I want to say you should be proud to have helped him when he needed it. You didn't want to do it but you stepped up and made sure he heard the message "put your affairs in order". It took a lot out of you to do that because you didn't have a lot to give after your dad.

Remember the good times, and remember him for the wonderful things he did. Discuss it with others and talk abot the silly things you did together. Call him or write to him. It will mean a lot.

We will put in a word for him with the big guy.

Take care,

Ken

Posted by: Eddie914 Jun 28 2006, 09:19 PM

Mark,

Prayers sent.

Best Regards

Posted by: MW 914 Jun 28 2006, 11:43 PM

Sorry to hear this. You and your family are in our thoughts.

Posted by: So.Cal.914 Jun 28 2006, 11:58 PM

My little brother, David, passed and it was difficult. But I have thought of him

every day for over forty years and just thinking of him keeps us close. I don't

think anyone is really dead if we continue to keep them close to us by

remembering them and telling the old stories to the next generation so they can

know him too. Sorry for your loss.

Posted by: wbergtho Jun 29 2006, 12:00 AM

Hang in there bud...talk with your brother and every time you make him laugh will be good medicine for both of you.

Take care,

Bill

Posted by: pete-stevers Jun 29 2006, 12:06 AM

Mark our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family....
steve sher and markus.....^Easton^

Posted by: Mark Henry Jun 29 2006, 05:57 AM

Thanks everyone for your kind words, PM's and prayers.

It's difficult not to be able to go see him again but he understands and tells me that I've already given him the help he needed.
I went out earlier this spring and finished his jobs, allowing him to go with no unfinished business and I got his affairs in order.

I phone every day and he is with family and friends. His daughter is flying in from her home in France and the other from northern Alberta in the next couple of days.
He will be with his father soon.

Posted by: sjhowitson Jun 29 2006, 07:23 AM

All our prayers are with you and your family.

Peace

Steve

Posted by: bmunday Jun 29 2006, 07:28 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your brother Mark. I lost my Mother to the same horrible disease.. Prayers are with you...

Posted by: Mark Henry Jul 1 2006, 03:29 PM

I'm sorry to say that Steve has taken a turn for the worst and is not expected to make it through the night.

I won't give you the gory details, we all know that the outlook is grim. He is comfortable and in his house. Verna is of course upset, but the nurse has been by and she was the one to give her the bad news.

I wish I could have been with him, I was going out there in 2 weeks, but it's hard to put life on hold when he is so far away. He has friends and family with him.

Posted by: SirAndy Jul 1 2006, 03:53 PM

QUOTE(Mark Henry @ Jul 1 2006, 02:29 PM)

Posted by: "Z" Jul 1 2006, 03:55 PM

Think of it as a release for both the him and the family...there IS something better after this.....

My condolences to you and the family.

Posted by: elwood-914 Jul 1 2006, 03:58 PM

Stay strong in the faith that you will see him again and he won't be suffering. Condolences to your family also.

Posted by: kwales Jul 1 2006, 04:54 PM

Mark,

He understands why you are not there now.

He also knows that you were there for him earlier, and will be there for his family when he is gone.

What more could someone hope for? Having a good family and friends that support are his comfort now, along with knowing his affairs are in order.

Honor him at the funeral and remember, you can miss him, but NO REGRETS for what you didn't do, and be PROUD for what you did. Remember him for what he did and the good times you had.

Ken

Posted by: redshift Jul 1 2006, 05:02 PM

He isn't going to hurt anymore, and I bet he'd be the first to tell you that life is all good.

It'll be all of us one day, and we'd just like to have our friends go on with their friends.


M

Posted by: Mark Henry Jul 1 2006, 09:34 PM

After a three-year battle with cancer my friend and brother Steve has died.

He has found peace and his father is guiding him home.

I love you bud.






thanks for everyones kind words and prayers










I'm working on getting pissed drunk now.

Posted by: Aaron Cox Jul 1 2006, 09:36 PM

sorry to hear mark.

you will see him in heaven for sure.
AA

Posted by: Qarl Jul 1 2006, 10:38 PM

Sorry to hear the news. At least he is pain-free and at rest now. Try and take some comfort in that.

Here's to your bro'

Regards,

Qarl

Posted by: McMark Jul 1 2006, 11:08 PM

We're all with you Mark.

Posted by: Lou W Jul 1 2006, 11:22 PM

Sorry to hear the news, you and your family are in my prayers.

Posted by: JB 914 Jul 1 2006, 11:26 PM

Mark,
we will add your brother to our prayers tonight.

this is an Irish Funeral Prayer. Written by Henry Scott Holland in 1910, the words have been recited at many Irish funerals, and I've always found them somewhat comforting:

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Everything remains as it was.
The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no sorrow in your tone.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again.

Posted by: So.Cal.914 Jul 2 2006, 01:19 AM

I think I'll join you in that drink, here's to Steve, you and your family may you all

have peace in your hearts.

Posted by: tracks914 Jul 2 2006, 08:28 AM

I'm not a religious man but my thoughts are with you.
Take care of yourself, your family and friends and appreciate your healthy time on earth while you have it.

Give your wife and kids a hug for me.

Posted by: kwales Jul 2 2006, 10:08 AM

To Steve...


Ken

Posted by: zymurgist Jul 2 2006, 10:16 AM

I'm sorry to hear that, Mark.

Posted by: JPB Jul 2 2006, 10:27 AM

Sorry for the awfull news. It was hard for me to even open this thread but I hope all of you stay close through this terrible event. What a terrible loss. Sorry.

Posted by: davep Jul 2 2006, 11:30 AM

So sorry my friend, you have had a tough few years. Please pass our condolences on to your other brother as well.

Posted by: scottb Jul 2 2006, 01:04 PM

here's to steve....

and here's to you mark.

my condolences.

scott

Posted by: anderssj Jul 2 2006, 01:54 PM

really really sorry

Posted by: blabla914 Jul 2 2006, 04:09 PM

Sometimes when it rains, it pours.

My condolences.

Kelly

Posted by: Jeroen Jul 2 2006, 06:50 PM

have a drink and celebrate his life!

our thoughts are with you and your family...

Posted by: DNHunt Jul 3 2006, 07:45 AM

Mark

I'm sorry to hear of your brother's passing. Hang in there and find comfort where you can. Time brings your best memories of him to the front and they are sweet indeed.

Dave