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914World.com _ 914World Garage _ OT: Good Chili
Posted by: Lawrence Jan 20 2007, 11:49 AM
I made some chili a couple of weeks ago. It just didn't turn out right. It wasn't bad... but it could have come out of a can. 
I tried again... and OMG... this stuff is just deadly. 
I can always tell when I skimp on chili or decide to make it on a whim. Good chili takes DAYS to make. Soaking beans for two days. 15-18 hours simmering in a crock pot. Don't rush. Don't try to sneak in and taste it. Don't get seduced by the scent wafting through the house and peeling paint off the walls. 
I had chili for breakfast this morning. 
-Rusty 
Posted by: Grelber Jan 20 2007, 11:52 AM
BEANS in CHILI???????
Posted by: pete-stevers Jan 20 2007, 11:52 AM
yup........i should do that this week.......
Posted by: Lawrence Jan 20 2007, 11:53 AM
Two different kinds of beans, even.
(I know, I know, you Texasn... Get a rope...)
Posted by: Grelber Jan 20 2007, 11:59 AM
There was a "newbie" that put beans in his chile at a cook off. They made him pick each one out before they'd even taste it.
FYI: Beans were initially put in chili to "extend" it, so it'd feed more guys out on the range. You could keep dried beans a long time.
Posted by: neo914-6 Jan 20 2007, 12:26 PM
Ok Lawrence, where's the recipe? I've been thinking about making some...
What's chili without the beans, hot meat sauce? 
Posted by: Grelber Jan 20 2007, 12:44 PM
Posted by: Lawrence Jan 20 2007, 01:02 PM
1/2 lb red beans
1/2 lb pinto beans
5 medium tomatoes,chopped
2 large onions, chopped
1 large green pepper, chopped
2 cloves garlic
1/2 c chopped fresh parsley
1 stalk fresh chopped celery (optional)
1 lb ground pork sausage, regular Jimmy Dean works well
3 tbs butter
2 lbs ground chuck, sub finely chopped steak for a different texture
2 T salt
1 1/2 t pepper
1 1/2 t cumin seeds
1/3 c fresh chili's (or sub chili powder)
12 oz can of tomato sauce
1. Soak beans in water for two days. Drain. Place beans in pot, cover with water and cook on high until boiling begins. Take off heat. Drain. Place into crockpot. Add fresh water to cover beans.
2. Chop tomatos coarsely. Add to crock pot.
3. Brown pork sausage until crumbly. Drain fat and set to the side.
4. Melt butter and add chuck. Brown until crumbly.
5. In a 4-qt pot, saute green peppers in pork sausage fat until tender, add onions (and optional celery) and cook until tender. Stir frequently. Add garlic and parsley. Stir for 5 minutes.
6. Add pork and chuck to onion mixture. Mix well. Add to crock pot.
7. Season with salt, pepper, cumin seeds as desired. Cook covered 8 hours on high. Open crock pot, can of tomato sauce and chilis (or powder).
8. Mix and cook covered on low for 6-8 hours.
9. Skim fat from top.
I've been experimenting with adding chocolate to the mixture... but I'm going slow. Not sure what the right quantity is yet.
Posted by: nycchef Jan 20 2007, 01:50 PM
the key to good chili is a chili sauce,used as a base for the flavor and heat.
try this, amounts vary so you have to try hit and miss untill you find what you like
2 parts dried gujillo chilies whole
2 parts ancho chilies whole
1 part chili de arbol dried whole
toast seperatly under a broiler until brown (do not let turn black)
soak in hot water together until soft
remove stems and seeds
puree in blender with water (you can use some of the chili water if you like but it will be very spicy) mixture should be fairly thick
chop a large white onion and saute till soft (3-4 minutes)
add a couple of cloves of chopped garlic
add tomato sauce (whole peeled in the can are fine maybe one and a half cups) add chili paste cook until mixture gets darker about 20 minutes leave out any chili powder in your recipe, you can still use cumin,mexican oregano, sugar and salt
i make the best chili in the world, so does every other chef i have ever met. good chili is what you like.
a word for you texas guys
i am opening a texas style bbq restaraunt in nyc. anyone have any ideas for side dishes that are traditional to your area.grandpa's and grandma's recipes preferered. thanks you'all ...sorry rich
Posted by: Dr Evil Jan 20 2007, 02:15 PM
Armadillo muffins 
Posted by: nebreitling Jan 20 2007, 02:19 PM
a word for you texas guys
i am opening a texas style bbq restaraunt in nyc. anyone have any ideas for side dishes that are traditional to your area.grandpa's and grandma's recipes preferered. thanks you'all ...sorry rich
born/raised in texas, and i'll tell you one thing -- i haven't found good cornmeal-fried okra outside of texas or oklahoma.
good thread.
edit: rattlesnake and rocky mountain oysters, too -- but that might be a bit too exotic.
Posted by: Grelber Jan 20 2007, 02:24 PM
I've only lived here (Texas) for 21+ years, so you'd have to talk to a "real" Texan for the recipes. But:
Hush Puppies
Black Eyed Peas
Potato Salad
Macaroni and Cheese
Green Salad
Bannana peppers
Relish
And all the Dr. Pepper you can drink. 
Posted by: nycchef Jan 20 2007, 02:34 PM
born/raised in texas, and i'll tell you one thing -- i haven't found good cornmeal-fried okra outside of texas or oklahoma.
good thread.
how do you do the okra. i have an idea, any special spices? right about the snake and the oysters, this is still the north east. got the dr. pepper,big red and texas longnecks. even bringing in the butterkrust bread. keep it coming.
p.s dr. evil you've already had my bbq, but if you want armadillo, see if anyone has a running 914 in texas, have him roadkill us up one, and i'll cook it for you.
where's leo? 
Posted by: nebreitling Jan 20 2007, 02:47 PM
just looked and i can't find the recipe (grandma would kill me anyway), but i can assure you that it's about what you'd think it is. no secrets, just the right 'touch'. and fresh okra right out of the garden, of course. most restaurants deep fry it with no cornmeal -- it comes out totally different then what i grew up with.
she would also do some mean fried-green tomatos. slice 'em, milk and egg bath, equal parts corn meal/flour, drop 'em in hot grease. salt and pepper.
Posted by: Brew Jan 20 2007, 03:24 PM
Now I'm hungry!!!
Any of you Texans ever had Chili Verde? My buddy from SanAntonio had never even heard of it till he moved here, now he cant get enough of it!
Posted by: Grelber Jan 20 2007, 03:25 PM
My Mom did the fried w/ cornmeal okra, but most okra around here is deep fried.
If you're going to have beer, make sure you have Corona and Dos Equis. The Texas-made beer tastes like crap.
For dessert, you need cobbler (probably peach and/or berry with a soft serve machine next to it.
Posted by: nebreitling Jan 20 2007, 04:02 PM
ditto 
while shiner bock is drinkable, lone star is f-ing sick. thank god for mexican beer.
Posted by: cooltimes Jan 20 2007, 04:23 PM
born/raised in texas, and i'll tell you one thing -- i haven't found good cornmeal-fried okra outside of texas or oklahoma.
good thread.
how do you do the okra. i have an idea, any special spices? right about the snake and the oysters, this is still the north east. got the dr. pepper,big red and texas longnecks. even bringing in the butterkrust bread. keep it coming.
p.s dr. evil you've already had my bbq, but if you want armadillo, see if anyone has a running 914 in texas, have him roadkill us up one, and i'll cook it for you.
where's leo?
I took a photo capture shot of a MealMaster recipe on my computer. Is in public domain files. I have over 5000 Meal Master recipes on my computer.
Posted by: Grelber Jan 20 2007, 04:30 PM
The fried okra you get at the BBQ places is just the okra, deep fried in a batter. No tomatoes, peppers garlic or onions (unless it's in the batter).
Your recipe does sound good, but not what you'd get here in Texas.
Posted by: Thoward914 Jan 20 2007, 04:31 PM
I agree with Grelber list of sides.
fried okra is a must, I never pass it up if it's on the menu 
and also cole slaw
Posted by: nycchef Jan 20 2007, 05:17 PM
I agree with Grelber list of sides.
fried okra is a must, I never pass it up if it's on the menu
and also cole slaw
guess i should start working on the okra. got the slaw , corn bread,know the chili verde well ,will be doing on fry bread, traditional southwest style.
thanks for the help, as usual non-club members have the answers, keep it coming. hope to get help like this when i do my engine.
Posted by: Grelber Jan 20 2007, 05:33 PM
Just remember the cobbler and the soft serve.
Posted by: Crazyhippy Jan 20 2007, 06:48 PM
Only drove through Texas. so dont consider this gospel, but i will never forget getting a steak bigger than the plate served to me by a topless girl who's..... uhhhh "personalities" were bigger than my head 
Damn good steak too...
BJH
Posted by: bernbomb914 Jan 20 2007, 11:27 PM
NYCChief is right on about the chile mix but the chocolate is a must to smooth it out, plus I add beer for the liquid, and I use ground cumin instead of seeds.
Bernie
Posted by: Lawrence Jan 20 2007, 11:29 PM
I season with tequila sometimes, as well. I just don't happen to have any right now.
Posted by: JB 914 Jan 20 2007, 11:48 PM
if you want it to be a "true" Texas BBQ place you will have:
picnic tables
rolls of paper towels
butcher paper covering the tables
pickles, onions, jalapenos
white bread
assorted homeade BBQ Sauce
serve: Sausage, Brisket (sliced and chopped) Chicken
sides: beans, slaw, potato salad, fried okra, blah, blah......you got the list!!
I dunno how you can replicate some of that stuff. you can have the recipe, but, it's hard to duplicate the freshness of the local okra.
I think of strawberrys here in California. they are so fresh and sweet. i have never had strawberrys that tasted better than in California. they may come close, but, they are just not as good.
good luck in your venture!!
Posted by: JB 914 Jan 20 2007, 11:56 PM
BTW here is the latest Chili Recipe i've used. This is quite possible the easiest and best chili recipe i've come across. I personally tested it and approve it for club use 
2-3 tablespoons peanut oil
2 pounds ground beef
1 (14-ounce) can beef broth
1 (14-ounce) can tomato sauce
Batch one:
1 tablespoon onion powder
2 tablespoons garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon jalapeno powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon chicken bouillon granules
Batch two:
5 tablespoons red chili powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon brown sugar
Batch three:
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
In a large heavy bottom pot, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add the ground beef and cook until browned, about 8 minutes. Season with salt and drain off the excess grease. Add the tomato sauce and the beef broth and simmer for 1 hour. Add all of the ingredients from Batch one, stir and simmer for 35 more minutes. Add Batch two to the pot and cook for another 20 minutes, stirring often. Add Batch three and cook for 10 more minutes. Let cool and store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.
you can add this to a can of Rotel diced tomatos w/ chilis and some velveta for awesome chili con carne dip!!
Posted by: Aaron Cox Jan 20 2007, 11:56 PM
WTF is okra?
Posted by: JB 914 Jan 21 2007, 12:00 AM
WTF is okra?
Dude, its a little vegtable that tastes like fuchin slimy green glue if not prepared correctly.
it's best fried or used in gumbo. i like it pickled too!!
go to Lucilles BBQ and they have it on the menu. although, i thougth it wasn't that good.
Johnny Rebs on Bellflower has it too.
Posted by: cooltimes Jan 21 2007, 12:02 AM
Chili, Texas style okra and a list of Texas style recipes at this link.
http://cooking.netrelief.com/recipes/
Posted by: swood Jan 21 2007, 12:02 AM
WTF is okra?
A Veggie. Just picked some. Here's a pic.
From Ethiopia.
Grown here in the South US.
Fryemupyum.
Attached image(s)
Posted by: ClayPerrine Jan 21 2007, 12:05 AM
WTF is okra?
If you come to Texas, I will take you to a REAL BBQ joint. There you can find out what real Fried Okra is.
Posted by: Aaron Cox Jan 21 2007, 12:05 AM
WTF is okra?
Dude, its a little vegtable that tastes like fuchin slimy green glue if not prepared correctly.
it's best fried or used in gumbo. i like it pickled too!!
go to Lucilles BBQ and they have it on the menu. although, i thougth it wasn't that good.
Johnny Rebs on Bellflower has it too.
been to rebs before... got the chilli....
joe... ima have to come over and sample some fine texas cookin' LOL
Posted by: JPB Jan 21 2007, 09:26 AM
There is no way one can make a pallet pleasing chili without a well aged odocioleus virginianus carcass. My friend makes a killer spagetti sauce with this stuff and it makes you wanna eat until ya blowsup!
That would be the common north american deer. 
Posted by: stepuptotheMike Jan 21 2007, 11:53 AM
nothing like some chili on gameday. and for the record, I like beans in my chili.
Mike
Posted by: Dr Evil Jan 21 2007, 12:06 PM
Dont forget the frito pie.
Posted by: cooltimes Jan 21 2007, 02:19 PM
Everyone seems to like their chili hot and other related foods HOT.
Sounds like Pepperfool.com might be useful to all the 914 chefs.
The world's best BBQ is cooked at MEMPHIS IN MAY, world's BBQ capital.
http://www.pepperfool.com/recipes/bbq_idx.html
Posted by: Grelber Jan 21 2007, 02:24 PM
Memphis BBQ is primarily pork, Texas is primarily beef.
Posted by: SharonG Jan 21 2007, 08:40 PM
I used to make "Sharon's Special 4 Bean Chili" but it was heck on my men's digestive systems. 
Posted by: Pat Garvey Jan 21 2007, 09:02 PM
Allright - i've had almost every variation of chili that's out there. I prefer the stuff that makes my eyes scream & my throat beg for mercy. But, there is one iteration of chili here that's not been addressed & is only available in one area - Cincinnati chili. Don't dump on me - I said I like southwest "hotternhell" chili the best, just take this into advisement.
Grew up in the Cincinnati area. Until I learned to cook Tex-Mex I thought Cincy chili was the only chili. Then I gravitated away from it to anything that would burn a hole in my gut. I also moved away from my roots & missed the Cincy chilli that only rotted my gut when I put a quart of Tobasco on it ( sorry Cincy folks, I just happen to like things really hot).
During the last 10 years I've learned to make the Greek/Cincy style of chili. Every guest I've had from the west/east coast thought it sounded stupid to serve chili on pasta. When every one of them tasted it, they changed their opinions.
Cincy chili has a very different, select bunch of seasonings. It is NOT competition for chili with heat. But, I've met only one person who thought it wasn't good & unique.
Recipe is not for the faint hearted & dramatically different from any other chili, but I guarantee you'll love it. Anyone interested the recipe - contact me. Remember, the recipe is unique - you'll never see it anywhere else. No, it doesn't use roadkill, though........
Pat
Posted by: sww914 Jan 21 2007, 09:46 PM
My favorite chili ever is Chasen's Chili. It's not very Texasy, it has beans, and grated carrots, parsley, butter, ground pork and beef. It's a lot better than the weird ingredients make it sound.
Chasen's was a super expensive restaurant in Los Angeles, my Stepdad said that in the 70's the chili was $18.00 a bowl!
I'll try to find the recipe.
Posted by: Rusty Sep 1 2008, 07:28 AM
this weekend is PERFECT for chili making!
-Rusty
Posted by: DBCooper Sep 1 2008, 09:09 AM
If it has beans in it you need to be calling it bean stew or something. It might be tasty but it's sure as hell not chili. Pasta? Oh my Lord. And if you learned about what chili is "supposed" to be like from that Crap in a Can all I can tell you is that's that's like learning about sex from TV. Not even a little like the real thing.
Posted by: zymurgist Sep 1 2008, 09:11 AM
A D.C. area local chain (Hard Times Cafe) makes a "Texas" chili that uses ground beef and spices. It contains no tomatoes. When you order it, you can order it "wet" a/k/a extra grease. You soak it up with cornbread. This is the perfect restaurant to dine at if you do the Atkins diet. One helping of this chili (without cornbread) will kick you over the edge into ketosis if your body is wavering.
They offer beans, but the beans are cooked separately from the chili. (I never get beans.)
Posted by: nycchef Sep 1 2008, 09:23 AM
A D.C. area local chain (Hard Times Cafe) makes a "Texas" chili that uses ground beef and spices. It contains no tomatoes. When you order it, you can order it "wet" a/k/a extra grease. You soak it up with cornbread. This is the perfect restaurant to dine at if you do the Atkins diet. One helping of this chili (without cornbread) will kick you over the edge into ketosis if your body is wavering.
They offer beans, but the beans are cooked separately from the chili. (I never get beans.)
i hate to chime in on food stuff but i,m up and bored so here it goes.
chili w/ beans is mexican
chili w/o beans is texas
i do this for a living and here is the final word on chili
the best chili is the one you like the best
Posted by: Vacca Rabite Sep 1 2008, 10:28 AM
Just had to throw this out there.
I was born and grew up in Texas, and my Dad and grandparents are still there.
I never had beanless chili until I moved East.
When I was growing up, chili was just chili. The "Texas mystique" of beanless chili seems to be a recent thing. Dare I say, snobbery?
As to Hard Times Cafe. I have only been twice, and was sick for a day each time. Way too greasy.
When I make mine, it gets beans and beef at 1 to 1 ratios. I also usually put in corn, unsweetened chocolate, tequila, Cholula, and anything else I happen to have on hand that might taste good. I've never had a recipe, and it never tastes like it came out of a can.
Zach
Posted by: DBCooper Sep 1 2008, 11:16 AM
the best chili is the one you like the best
Which at the end of the day is the truth... as long as it doesn't have any damned beans in it, because if it has beans in it it isn't chili. Maybe "chili beans", but not "chili".
Chili is from Texas and is a traditional Texas dish. Here are about a hundred recipes for genuine Texas chili, including state fair winners from thirty years ago, and there's not one bean in the bunch: http://www.g6csy.net/chile/recp-texas.html
You know I have to take that back, "Matt's Yankee Chili" on that list has beans in it...
Posted by: Todd Enlund Sep 1 2008, 12:30 PM
Here's my Lonely Neuron Carnitas Chili Verde recipe, from the last batch that I made. It's probably nowhere near authentic, but it has won cookoffs here in Oregon. It's just a hint of heat... mild, but still too spicy for my wife. Add more peppers to make it hotter.
I don't measure while I cook, so this is just a WAG.
9 lbs Pork Shoulder
Olive oil
1 box (32oz) Pacific brand beef stock
1 box (32oz) Pacific brand chicken stock
Cumin, probably about 1 tbsp
Oregano, probably about 1 tbsp
Garlic, ~3 cloves, minced
Fresh ground black pepper, about 1 tsp
Salt to taste, probably about 1 tsp
Smoked Paprika, about 1 tsp
1 large yellow onion, diced
1 whole Habanero pepper, minced
1 whole yellow chili pepper, minced
1 Anaheim pepper, roasted, then diced.
1 can Las Palmas green enchilada sauce
1 jar La Victoria salsa verde
Corn Masa
Fresh cilantro
Cut the pork into bite size pieces, trimming most of the fat. Brown the pork in olive oil, then braise in beef and chicken stock… I used all of the beef and most of the chicken stock.
If there is any fond left in the pan, deglaze with some of the stock. Add the onion, garlic, salt, cumin, oregano, paprika and peppers. Bring to a low boil and simmer until meat is tender and falls apart easily, about two hours. If you cook longer, you'll get a pulled pork texture.
Add the enchilada sauce and salsa verde, bring back to a simmer and adjust thickness with corn masa. Chop the cilantro and add just before serving.
A warning about cooking with hot peppers, especially habaneros: wash your hands, otherwise the capsaicin will stay on your hands, and get in your eyes or irritate other sensitive areas...
Posted by: Rusty Sep 1 2008, 02:05 PM
The Texans feel as passionately (and irrationally) about their chili as the Taliban feels about Mohammed.
Apparently, no Italians ever settled in Texas. Chili without beans is spicy spaghetti sauce. 
-Rusty
Posted by: DBCooper Sep 1 2008, 02:22 PM
Hey, no need to go insulting Italians... but turn that around and you make my point. When you put beans in your bolognese sauce (gak!) is it still bolognese?
Posted by: Rusty Sep 1 2008, 02:31 PM
I don't think I've ever had bologne sauce... do they trim the plastic rings off the slices before they make it?
Tell ya what - join the convoy from Texas to the Rocket City Ramble, and I'll make you a batch of my own chili. If, after tasting it, you honestly say you don't like it - I'll personally pay your registration fee. 
-Rusty
Posted by: KaptKaos Sep 1 2008, 06:07 PM
This thread started me thinking about chili.
I make my own, with a recipe I have had for years. However, I have always used store bought chili powder and other dried spices. I can't help but think that I might get a more unique or flavorful chili if I made my own chili powder or chili paste. I don't know which chilis to use or in what proportions, so if any of you do this, please let me know.
My recipe uses pork. I have also seen recipes that use pork butt or rib meat. Does anyone else do this? If so, what are the ratios and what's the process?
Yes, I like beans too. Mostly red kidney beans, but I am open to suggestions.
Posted by: DBCooper Sep 1 2008, 06:09 PM
I don't think I've ever had bologne sauce... do they trim the plastic rings off the slices before they make it?
Yeah, I've never heard of bologne sauce, so can't help you with that. We make our bolognese sauce in the Italian style, lots of meat, pork and veal, lots of garlic, very little tomato sauce, butter instead of cream, and no damned fagioli!
Tell ya what - join the convoy from Texas to the Rocket City Ramble, and I'll make you a batch of my own chili. If, after tasting it, you honestly say you don't like it - I'll personally pay your registration fee.
I trust your chili beans are good, Rusty, so I'm sure that's a generous offer. Unfortunately I'll be on the west coast that week, so maybe some other time?
Posted by: Rusty Sep 18 2014, 07:03 PM
I can't count the times I've come back here for my recipe. Tonight is another one of those times. :-)
Posted by: veekry9 Sep 19 2014, 05:06 AM
http://www.amazon.co.uk/500-Chili-Recipes-Irresistible-Tongue-tingling/dp/0754818446
Posted by: Rusty Oct 31 2019, 08:52 AM
Back again for my recipe.
This weekend is gonna be perfect for chili.
-R
Posted by: maf914 Oct 31 2019, 09:46 AM
I've been thinking about making a pot of chili as well. I usually use ground beef as opposed to diced beef. And yes, I add beans, either pintos or red kidneys. Both ingredients are considered to be no-no's in chili cook-off practice.
Speaking of canned chili, I do like Hormel Chili without Beans on my chili dogs. Has that nasty chili dog taste you get from hot dog stands.
Posted by: Coondog Oct 31 2019, 09:51 AM
Ok admin do your job and move this to the proper forum.........Oh my bad it’s the same admin who started this post in 2007 and now reposted this non 914 content again in 2019... 
Posted by: ClayPerrine Oct 31 2019, 10:05 AM
Back again for my recipe.
This weekend is gonna be perfect for chili.
-R
Wendy's "Chili" aka "Grill scrapings" has beans in it.
Putting beans in chili is like putting an elevator in an outhouse.... it don't belong, and only leads to
Posted by: SirAndy Oct 31 2019, 10:11 AM
Ok admin do your job and move this to the proper forum.........Oh my bad it’s the same admin who started this post in 2007 and now reposted this non 914 content again in 2019...
This thread is clearly marked OT to allow people like you to ignore it ...
Attached image(s)
Posted by: Rusty Oct 31 2019, 10:15 AM
Ok admin do your job and move this to the proper forum.........Oh my bad it’s the same admin who started this post in 2007 and now reposted this non 914 content again in 2019...
Posted by: Coondog Oct 31 2019, 10:30 AM
Ok admin do your job and move this to the proper forum.........Oh my bad it’s the same admin who started this post in 2007 and now reposted this non 914 content again in 2019...
Your right, your a admin on this site so follow the same rules you apply to everyone else.
Posted by: Rusty Oct 31 2019, 10:36 AM
Reading and spelling aren't your strengths, are they?
This thread existed 8 years before you joined the site. Chill and switch to decaf.
-Rusty
P.S. Chili without beans is spicy spaghetti sauce. Just saying, @http://www.914world.com/bbs2/index.php?showuser=1143 .
Posted by: ClayPerrine Oct 31 2019, 10:37 AM
Subject: Texas Chili Cook Off
> If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope
>
> for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this
slowly.
>
> I've read this probably 5 times and it never fails to reduce me to
>
> tears of laughter). Hope it does the same for you!!! beer3.gif
>
>
>
> If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third
>
> judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you
>
> know how true this is.
>
>
>
> They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes
around.
>
>
>
> It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City
Park. Judge #3
>
> was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from
Springfield, IL.
>
>
>
> Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
>
> cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
>
> happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for
>
> directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was
>
> assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't
>
> be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer
>
> during the tasting, so I accepted."
>
>
>
> Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
>
> *****************************************************
>
> CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
>
> Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
>
> Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
>
> Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried
> paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the
> worst one. These Texans are crazy.
>
> *****************************************************
>
> CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...
>
> Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
>
> Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
>
> Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed
> to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich
> maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
>
> *****************************************************
>
> CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
>
> Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
>
> Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
>
> Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been
> snorting Draino. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite.
> Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm
> getting shit-faced from all of the beer.
>
> *****************************************************
>
> CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...
>
> Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
>
> Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild
> foods not much of a chili.
>
> Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is
> it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with
> fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste
> I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
>
> *****************************************************
>
> CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
>
> Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable
> kick. Very impressive.
>
> Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne
> peppers make a strong statement.
>
> Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer
> focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant
> seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my
> tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm
> burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
> screaming. Screw those rednecks.
>
> *****************************************************
>
> CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
>
> Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and
> peppers.
>
> Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
>
> Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric
> flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No
> one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I
> need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
>
> *****************************************************
>
> CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
>
> Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
>
> Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at
> the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be
> in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
>
> Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a
> thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water.
> My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full
> of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
> decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway.
> If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
>
> *****************************************************
>
> CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
>
> Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy
> enough to declare its existence.
>
> Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to
> see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the
> chili pot down on top of himself.
>
> Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really
> hot chili?
>
> Judge # 3 - No Report
Posted by: Coondog Oct 31 2019, 10:49 AM
On second thought I do like chili
[ADMIN Edit: Image removed. Again, no politics please]
Posted by: SirAndy Oct 31 2019, 10:50 AM
There's a difference between off-topic posts and political discussions.
You tried to bring real world politics into a thread (again), which is against the rules.
Talking about Chili (if clearly marked OT) is not.
Posted by: Rusty Oct 31 2019, 10:52 AM
On second thought I do like chili
If you ever get out this way, I'll make you some.
Posted by: Coondog Oct 31 2019, 10:56 AM
There's a difference between off-topic posts and political discussions.
You tried to bring real world politics into a thread (again), which is against the rules.
Talking about Chili (if clearly marked OT) is not.
Just trying to see if you admin play by your same rules !!
Apparently Not.
Off topic discussions about chili don’t belong in the Garage.
Posted by: Unobtanium-inc Oct 31 2019, 11:07 AM
I once traded a 914 motor for some chili, it was good chili! Thanks Brett!
Since I was able to work a 914 into a sentence with chili, does this now make it ON Topic?
Attached thumbnail(s)
Attached image(s)
Posted by: SirAndy Oct 31 2019, 11:09 AM
There's a difference between off-topic posts and political discussions.
You tried to bring real world politics into a thread (again), which is against the rules.
Talking about Chili (if clearly marked OT) is not.
Just trying to see if you admin play by your same rules !!
Apparently Not.
Off topic discussions about chili don’t belong in the Garage.
Again, off topic discussions in the garage are *not* against the rules (if they are clearly marked OT).
You, on the other hand, are trying really hard to sneak political content into discussions, which *is* against the rules.
No matter how butthurt you are that your political posts have been removed, politics and general OT comments are *not* the same thing.
Posted by: SirAndy Oct 31 2019, 11:12 AM
You, on the other hand, are trying really hard to sneak political content into discussions, which *is* against the rules.
No matter how butthurt you are that your political posts have been removed, politics and general OT comments are *not* the same thing.
http://www.914world.com/bbs2/index.php?showtopic=65693
- Racism doesn't have a place at 914World.
- Don't call anyone names. Treat other members like your mother taught you - If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. No personal attacks.
- We like everyone to be able to have their voice, so we won't edit, delete or lock a thread or post unless it's just gotta be done. Keep yer dirty pictures in the Sandbox, too. We'll do our best to send you a PM before we clean up yer messes.
- We hope you use our classifieds, but the 914World team can't be responsible for the actions of buyers and sellers. Remember the latin "Caveat Emptor"... (translation: let the buyer beware.)
- Please, let's not talk about Politics & Religion. Wars have been fought for years and years because of Politics and Religion, so let's keep 'em out of 914World.
- Remember keep yer dirty pictures in the Sandbox. Yes, this includes avatars and pictures in signatures.
- We welcome your off topic posts, but please label your post so it's obvious (begin your topic with "OT:").
Posted by: Coondog Oct 31 2019, 11:18 AM
There's a difference between off-topic posts and political discussions.
You tried to bring real world politics into a thread (again), which is against the rules.
Talking about Chili (if clearly marked OT) is not.
Just trying to see if you admin play by your same rules !!
Apparently Not.
Off topic discussions about chili don’t belong in the Garage.
Again, off topic discussions in the garage are *not* against the rules (if they are clearly marked OT).
You, on the other hand, are trying really hard to sneak political content into discussions, which *is* against the rules.
No matter how butthurt you are that your political posts have been removed, politics and general OT comments are *not* the same thing.
I don’t give a rats ass about those post being deleted, those who know me know I couldn’t give a shit about that. But hey if you want to turn 914world.com into a cooking site then go for it. Tomorrow I will post about the bacon and eggs I made for breakfast.
Posted by: ClayPerrine Oct 31 2019, 11:46 AM
I don’t give a rats ass about those post being deleted, those who know me know I couldn’t give a shit about that. But hey if you want to turn 914world.com into a cooking site then go for it. Tomorrow I will post about the bacon and eggs I made for breakfast.
As long as you clearly mark the thread with "OT" so everyone knows it is off topic, there will be no repercussions. But, if you add political commentary, pictures, or political references of any sort, then the thread will be deleted and you will get a timeout.
Don't believe me... Try me.
Posted by: SteveL Oct 31 2019, 02:21 PM
I'm making the neighborhood smell GREAT.
2 racks of thick babybacks, smoked over hickory and cherry.
About 2 hours to go. Gotta get started on that cornbread...
Posted by: Coondog Oct 31 2019, 03:15 PM
Just ate at the Spaghetti Factory in Redlands. I sure like this thread......... 
Posted by: Rusty Dec 8 2023, 01:24 PM
Needed this recipe to start chili for tomorrow... gonna be a rainy day so perfect for something warm.
Posted by: rhodyguy Dec 8 2023, 01:57 PM
Look for the ‘Carol Shelby chili fixin’s’ at the store. It Never disappoints. Use caution with the included cyan pepper. I throw the corn massa (it thickens the chili) flour away.
Posted by: KELTY360 Dec 8 2023, 04:32 PM
"I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone."
Now that's a testimonial to some serious chili.
Posted by: porschetub Dec 8 2023, 04:51 PM
"I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone."
Now that's a testimonial to some serious chili.
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