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914World.com _ 914World Garage _ Most unlikely posts to be seen here
Posted by: Zeke Dec 23 2003, 11:00 AM
As started on the famous 911 BBS, posts that you would most likely not see...lots of humor and a few inside jokes came out.
I'll start by copying one from the thread:
"I just bought some new track tires from Pep boys and shaved 2 seconds a lap!" -- JP Stein
Posted by: rhilgers Dec 23 2003, 11:03 AM
Each VTECH sticker made a gain of 10HP!
Posted by: Aaron Cox Dec 23 2003, 11:05 AM
cant forget the "type R" sticker...good for at least 15 hp. 20 if its in japanese!
Posted by: Ferg Dec 23 2003, 11:07 AM
"Anybody have a concours condition seat rail for my 356?" Zois
Posted by: Lawrence Dec 23 2003, 11:13 AM
What's the best type of wax to use on my 914?
Posted by: James Adams Dec 23 2003, 11:18 AM
What CHEAP upgrades can I do and still have my 914 look stock - Karl Ellzey
Why I love Americans and hate chicken soup - Andy
Why don't we invite Alfred back? - the Moderators
Posted by: Lawrence Dec 23 2003, 11:26 AM
"Anyone got a tired 1.8L motor I can put in my wife's car?" -Brad
Posted by: Brad Roberts Dec 23 2003, 11:27 AM
Lets all go over to Rennlist - Brad
B
Posted by: L8Apex Dec 23 2003, 11:28 AM
If I lose weight, will the car be faster? - Anonymous
Wait a minute, I think that's not unlikely to be seen here.....
Posted by: Ferg Dec 23 2003, 11:34 AM
"Anyone have 14 inch wheels for my car, it's done and I'm going to drive it tomorrow." Mueller
Posted by: Part Pricer Dec 23 2003, 11:41 AM
"My wife is so happy that I have extra stickers." - rhodyguy
Posted by: GWN7 Dec 23 2003, 11:42 AM
"Put over 300,000 miles on the car now" by DDDD
Posted by: Lawrence Dec 23 2003, 11:43 AM
"I'm tired of Hooters. Anyone want to hold 914 Lunches at my local fundamentalist church?"
Posted by: Aaron Cox Dec 23 2003, 11:45 AM
"my son spilled wd40 on my car. is it totaled?" 
Posted by: redshift Dec 23 2003, 11:48 AM
We can usually seal the cracks up, and then foam over the rust, it's the only way to repair the suspension ears, and be back on the road within the hour.
Other's would say weld it, but who has time for that shit?
If something is worth doing, it's worth doing twice, quickly, on a budget.
-Brad Roberts
Posted by: rhodyguy Dec 23 2003, 11:52 AM
i bought another car. craig
Posted by: boxstr Dec 23 2003, 11:52 AM
I wouldn't think of buying parts for my 914 anywhere else but Auto Atalnta, and I reccomend them to all my 914 friends.
CCLINHAPPYSHOPPING
Posted by: MarkV Dec 23 2003, 11:53 AM
"get yourself a big can of chicken-broth (the concentrated stuff, not deluted), heat it up (no boil), add nudles if you like and you'll feel better in a day or two." - SirAndy
Posted by: Brad Roberts Dec 23 2003, 11:53 AM
Made my eyes water with laughter..
B
Posted by: rhodyguy Dec 23 2003, 11:53 AM
i bought another car. jim
Posted by: boxstr Dec 23 2003, 11:53 AM
Kevin that should read " I can't find another car to buy"
Craig
Posted by: Brad Roberts Dec 23 2003, 11:54 AM
"Free 9146 to a good home" - Brad
Posted by: boxstr Dec 23 2003, 11:55 AM
I can't keep these damn 914club stickers in stock. Kevin
Posted by: Ferg Dec 23 2003, 12:06 PM
"I just had a great chicken sandwich, no more burgers for me!" MarkD
Posted by: Brad Roberts Dec 23 2003, 12:07 PM
"Sorry guys.. had to do some house cleaning"- Brad << double meaning.
B
Posted by: ppickerell Dec 23 2003, 12:12 PM
The PO said it was rust free, and damn if he was'nt right!
Posted by: ppickerell Dec 23 2003, 12:13 PM
Honey,
My 2.0 rebuild should be less than $2000.
Posted by: ! Dec 23 2003, 12:16 PM
Damn I broke a nail.....
These bunny ears clash with my Brooks Brothers suit....
Can I get that Boxster with an automatic and in Pink?
Sure you can date my daughter....
Posted by: swood Dec 23 2003, 12:21 PM
salam aleikum - Miles
Posted by: HarveyH Dec 23 2003, 12:29 PM
Just going to check the E-mail, I'll only be five minutes
Harvey
Posted by: Lawrence Dec 23 2003, 12:32 PM
-Alfred
Posted by: Mueller Dec 23 2003, 12:34 PM
"Check out my new 914, I'm leaving this one all stock"
Posted by: L8Apex Dec 23 2003, 12:39 PM
My 914 runs great. - Everyone
Posted by: James Adams Dec 23 2003, 12:50 PM
"In all seriousness..." - Miles
Posted by: Chris H. Dec 23 2003, 12:51 PM
"Eurovan engines are pretty easy to find"- Everyone
Posted by: djm914-6 Dec 23 2003, 12:57 PM
"Can we limit the amount of T&A shots on this board" - Brad or Zois
"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll drive my own car" - DD
Posted by: seanery Dec 23 2003, 01:04 PM
Hey, Blue Car is Done! 
- me
Posted by: madd_dogg_914 Dec 23 2003, 01:07 PM
OMG - I got WD40 on my paint, what should I do? Oh wait, that WAS on here!
-Chris
Posted by: SirAndy Dec 23 2003, 01:07 PM
Queenie
Posted by: SirAndy Dec 23 2003, 01:09 PM
Jake Raby
Posted by: SirAndy Dec 23 2003, 01:11 PM
Mueller
Posted by: Qarl Dec 23 2003, 01:33 PM
Moved by Moderator to Off Topic!
Posted by: Qarl Dec 23 2003, 01:37 PM
"The mental hospital has agreed to let me out on weekends"... - Miles Hendrix
"Flat six power all the way!" - Jake Raby
"Look at my new hobby... collecting Ford Pintos" - Craig Laughlin
Posted by: redshift Dec 23 2003, 01:46 PM
Posted by: seanery Dec 23 2003, 01:47 PM
Posted by: L8Apex Dec 23 2003, 01:57 PM
X19's and Fieros are cool like 914's
Posted by: airsix Dec 23 2003, 02:17 PM
"I am willing to pay good money to have the repairs done correctly."
"What is the narrowest tire that will fit on a stock 5.5 inch wheel?"
Posted by: Chris H. Dec 23 2003, 02:20 PM
"I just own one because it's a Porsche"
"I'm not really worried about rust"
"I'm finally finished with this thing"
"I think I will change to the later style bumpers"
"Luckily these things are easy to maintain"
"I only like it for the straightaways"
"They should have used more seam sealer in the trunks"
"914-6 heat exchangers are a real bargain"
"It's was either this or a 1981 Turbo Trans Am"
"I generally buy everything through the Porsche Dealership."
Posted by: redshift Dec 23 2003, 02:21 PM
"What is the narrowest tire that will fit on a stock 5.5 inch wheel?"
That wasn't funny.
^---- another thing you are not likely to read here.
Posted by: Bruce Allert Dec 23 2003, 02:41 PM
YO, Alfred, what's the square root of........
Posted by: 72914S Dec 23 2003, 02:57 PM
Really Honey it`s a cheap hobby,and it will keep me from drinking so much.
Posted by: Curvie Roadlover Dec 23 2003, 03:01 PM
- Everyone
Posted by: Rouser Dec 23 2003, 03:09 PM
Posted by: Malmz Dec 23 2003, 03:10 PM
"I'm ashamed of my ass" - Zois
"I need to find something to drive that is environmentally friendly" - Malmz
Posted by: Ferg Dec 23 2003, 03:13 PM
"You guys suck, I'm going to the AA forums." Everyone
Posted by: redshift Dec 23 2003, 03:27 PM
M
Posted by: L8Apex Dec 23 2003, 03:38 PM
Sawzalls are stupid
Posted by: Curvie Roadlover Dec 23 2003, 03:49 PM
GWN7
Posted by: URY914 Dec 23 2003, 03:54 PM
"I just added 40 pounds of weight to my car"
"I just bought a CD player for my car."
"I just pick up some NOS sunvisors from AA on EBay"
- URY914
Paul 
Posted by: SirAndy Dec 23 2003, 04:01 PM
my car is too light
URY914
Posted by: GWN7 Dec 23 2003, 04:17 PM
"How to Ziebart your car for free by driving down a freshly oiled road" by Quarl
Posted by: morgan Dec 23 2003, 06:09 PM
I just built an engine with too high of compression that it blows the spark out. So I'm going to the parts store to buy some baffled spark plugs. 
Posted by: Andyrew Dec 23 2003, 06:12 PM
Nahh just add NOS, it'll help your car run cooler
Posted by: Aaron Cox Dec 23 2003, 06:15 PM
screw the 914...im getting an x19!
i get 200 horses out of a 1.7
Posted by: Jeroen Dec 23 2003, 06:20 PM
I finally have a rust free tub - Jeroen
Posted by: Hawktel Dec 23 2003, 06:40 PM
Just remember, its not the size of the Rust, its how you handle it.
Posted by: Aaron Cox Dec 23 2003, 06:42 PM
I sold my 914 and bought a 911!
Posted by: Bruce Allert Dec 23 2003, 06:47 PM
So, where do I put the scrotum casing? 
Posted by: redshift Dec 23 2003, 06:54 PM
Dunkle Pinto Swap, Wednesday, 4 AM, 1104 State Rd. 46, Trenton NJ.
Posted by: Aaron Cox Dec 23 2003, 06:56 PM
I got out of prison! - redshift
Posted by: rick 918-S Dec 23 2003, 07:09 PM
I'm working on a conversion, I need some grease and a shoe horn.- rich
Posted by: Qarl Dec 23 2003, 07:47 PM
Posted in the "What the heck do you look like" thread...
Here is a picture of me.
Here is a picture of me and my 914.
Here is a picture of my home.
Do you like my photos? I took them with my new digital camera. They are nice and clear... just like the photos Andy takes!"
Okay.. lets analyze what's so funny about this...
1. Miles indicates he has "friends"
2. Miles shows what he looks like and it isn't clownlike
3. Miles shows he has a real 914
4. Miles shows that he doesn't live in a mental hospital
5. Miles owns a digital camera
6. The pictures are clear... unlike Andy's
7. Miles acts pleasant and non-confrontational
8. Miles isn't acting like a smartass
9. The post is clear and rational and actually makes sense
Posted by: Qarl Dec 23 2003, 07:48 PM
Posted by: Carl Dec 23 2003, 07:57 PM
"Damn, how come Brad doesn't SAY something when he's pissed?" Everyone.
"Sandblasting's a lot better'n acid dip. Gives the kids a place to play for years." SirAndy
"So what's wrong with this picture?" Brad
"So what's wrong with this picture?" Brad
"So what's wrong with this picture?" Brad
"So what's wrong with this picture?" Brad
"I dunno, Brad. It caught on fire?" Me.
Carl
Posted by: Qarl Dec 23 2003, 07:59 PM
Posted by: Carl Dec 23 2003, 08:05 PM
Posted by: URY914 Dec 23 2003, 08:16 PM
kellzey
Posted by: Qarl Dec 23 2003, 08:31 PM
Posted in the Member's 914 Pictures thread...
Am I allowed to make fun of myself?
Posted by: Qarl Dec 23 2003, 08:38 PM
Dave Darling
Posted by: Qarl Dec 23 2003, 08:39 PM
Dave Darling
Posted by: Qarl Dec 23 2003, 08:41 PM
Dave Hunt!
Posted by: drew365 Dec 23 2003, 08:42 PM
"What's the best way to remove the light dust that forms on my car after I finish waxing it?" - Drew365
Posted by: Lawrence Dec 23 2003, 08:42 PM
Qarl
Posted by: URY914 Dec 23 2003, 09:00 PM
I'm going to post one word at a time not one sentence like I've been doing-Brad
Posted by: boxstr Dec 23 2003, 09:07 PM
Brad is going to help me cut these holes in my front hood, he said they are going to look great, and he wants to do the same to his car.
Sir Andy
Posted by: boxstr Dec 23 2003, 09:14 PM
"I promise honey, no more 914 parts in the house, and I won't put them on the dinner table to take pictures"
Karl E
Posted by: redshift Dec 23 2003, 09:21 PM
The easy part about rebuilding a pedal cluster is getting the welded on clutch cable off.
M
Posted by: Brad Roberts Dec 24 2003, 03:54 AM
My 914 friends SUCK- Brad
B
Posted by: ejm Dec 24 2003, 06:49 AM
Anything posted by John Dunkle
Hi John!! 
Posted by: redshift Dec 24 2003, 09:50 AM
You guys are cool, and I love you dearly!
Posted by: Carl Dec 24 2003, 11:23 AM
Posted by: fuch toy Dec 24 2003, 11:28 AM
Gosh, Panorama Magazine sure ripped the new Porsche model...you would think they would be nicer to the parent company.
Posted by: Malmz Dec 24 2003, 11:32 AM
"My 914 is in for service at Family Motors" - me
"I'm not driving THERE, that's too damn far!" - Brad
Posted by: Gint Dec 24 2003, 11:56 AM
How about anything posted by Cap'n Krusty. And if he were here:
"Why don't you just put some SS brake lines that 914 and be done with it."
Posted by: Bruce Allert Dec 24 2003, 12:24 PM
Admin won't let me say the "F" word any more.
Posted by: skline Dec 24 2003, 01:00 PM
"I can do a valve adjustment in about 3 minutes" Anyone
Paramount Pictures approached me to use my 914 in a movie about High Performance Rice burners..
This V-8 conversion was so cheap but it has less power than the 1.7 I took out
The 44 Webers I just installed work better than the FI I took out.
The transmission never grinds in any gear
I pulled up in the driveway and was leaking automatic transmission fluid all the way up the driveway.
My stock 2.0 liter runs way cooler with the new radiator installed.
I took my sway bars off for better handling
Posted by: Mueller Dec 24 2003, 01:04 PM
Posted by: scotty Dec 24 2003, 01:11 PM
Posted by: Aaron Cox Dec 24 2003, 01:22 PM
I added some weight to my car to make it faster - Ury914
Posted by: Carl Dec 24 2003, 01:30 PM
I finally got it to leak! Who needs Lojack?
Posted by: mskala Dec 24 2003, 08:16 PM
"Come to my new site, www.ALLsuburban.com" - Brad
Posted by: URY914 Dec 24 2003, 08:48 PM
I'm going back to my -4, this -6 is too fast.
Posted by: ! Dec 24 2003, 08:50 PM
Hey....I actually did that. I was faster in some places with the /4 tan I was with the 3.0/6......
Posted by: URY914 Dec 24 2003, 08:51 PM
I met this Playmate at the manison and I told her I drove a 914 and she wanted to go back to my place!! 
Posted by: URY914 Dec 24 2003, 08:52 PM
I wish I had never bought this car.
Posted by: rick 918-S Dec 24 2003, 09:56 PM
"I'm not driving THERE, that's too damn far!" - Brad
I need a place to store my car for a few months I brought it into Family Motors for an oil change. (I can't believe I just posted this
)
Posted by: Rob Ways Dec 25 2003, 09:42 AM
"I would like to buy your ____ for my customer." - African Scams
"What? You have a 914? Can we go out and see it?" - PCA social events
Posted by: boxstr Dec 25 2003, 12:08 PM
Bush is doing an great job, and he is intelligent, just listen to him speak......The American People
Posted by: Chris914n6 Dec 25 2003, 03:39 PM
"We're about the people, not the cars" - PCA
"So what kind of Mods did you do to your Porsche?" - Any PCA Member
"I wish I bought a Corvette/Mustang/Camero." - Anyone here
"I'm happy with my 1.7" - Anyone
"I'm looking for perfect condition steel wheels for my resto." - Anyone
"I want to concourse my 914-4." - Anyone
"A Ricer gave me a thunbs up." - Anyone
Chris
Posted by: Chris914n6 Dec 25 2003, 04:13 PM
I couldn't find any rust on the car - Brad
Look at this pic of a good part of the car - Brad
CCLinNothingToSayLand
Now if I could just find a piece of wire for.... - Bowlsby
I don't know that part or how to fix it. - DDD
I paid too much for the _____ for the 914. - Malmz
I had some free time so I finished the turbo kit. - Me
Chris
Posted by: Curvie Roadlover Dec 25 2003, 04:49 PM
Posted by: keith Dec 25 2003, 08:52 PM
No thanks. I don't like beer. -- Bruce Allert
Posted by: Curvie Roadlover Dec 25 2003, 09:01 PM
Or, "I would not like to grope that statue" - Bruce Allert
Posted by: Scott Carlberg Dec 26 2003, 05:24 PM
I mean, Porsche still makes the 911, so it MUST handle better.
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