 914 ownership and marriage/relationship woes go hand in hand?, the car and the web are evil according to my wife :) |
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| Mueller |
 Sep 7 2006, 03:04 PM
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914 Freak!  Group: Members Posts: 17,155 Joined: 4-January 03 From: Antioch, CA Member No.: 87 Region Association: None 
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1st let me say that I've got a pretty darn good marrage and nothing too terribly wrong is going on (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wub.gif)
What I have noticed is that a few times things have gotten a little "heated" around the homefront for one reason or another (leaving toilet seat up, not mowing the lawn....etc, etc) my non-running-project-for-life 914 & the "internet", more specifically the 914world.com is brought up and neither subject is talked about by my wife in a loving manner (please dear, no cussing in front of the girls (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) ) I do see her frustration about the 914, it is a sickness I have for not being able to make forward progress...the question is what to do about it?? I've admitted I've done some stupid and foolish things like my last purchase of rims and tires when I already had a set pretty darn similar but they just didn't have the "perfect" look I am trying to achieve with my car. Short of selling everything off and turning off my internet access at home, what is a guy to do (IMG:style_emoticons/default/headbang.gif) |
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| Joe Bob |
Sep 7 2006, 03:07 PM
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#2
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Retired admin, banned a few times Group: Members Posts: 17,427 Joined: 24-December 02 From: Boulder CO Member No.: 5 Region Association: None |
Are you still getting fed? Getting laid...at all?
If it's yes and yes....don't worry about it. |
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| Dr. Roger |
Sep 7 2006, 03:12 PM
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#3
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A bat out of hell. Group: Members Posts: 3,944 Joined: 31-January 05 From: Hercules, California Member No.: 3,533 Region Association: Northern California |
make a gratitude list:
Roof over her head? Yes Food on the table? Yes Healthy happy girls? Yes Good jobs? Yes Good friends who will help when you're in need (at 914world.com)? Yes She has your full support? Yes Are you a druggie/drunk/adulterer? No Maybe she just needs her own VOLVO turbo project car completed? =-) |
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| Brian Mifsud |
Sep 7 2006, 03:17 PM
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#4
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Mechanical Engineer Group: Members Posts: 981 Joined: 3-March 03 From: Penngrove, CA Member No.: 384 Region Association: None |
The danger signals I keep a look out for is whenever a conversation starts with:
"You know, you care more about that damn boat...." or "How much time did you spend with (fill in name of child) this week!!........" Thats when I make a few phone calls and arrange a 'date' with the wife... As big a blessing as they are, your kids are pushing the wife up near the edge, eating up most of the 'forgiveness' tolerance zone.... Basically, you've moved from the "Standard Machined Finish" +/- .005" stage of the relationship into the "Bearing Surface Finish" +.0000"/ -.0002" zone..... |
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| Randal |
Sep 7 2006, 03:17 PM
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#5
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 4,446 Joined: 29-May 03 From: Los Altos, CA Member No.: 750 |
QUOTE(Mueller @ Sep 7 2006, 02:04 PM)  1st let me say that I've got a pretty darn good marrage and nothing too terribly wrong is going on (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wub.gif) What I have noticed is that a few times things have gotten a little "heated" around the homefront for one reason or another (leaving toilet seat up, not mowing the lawn....etc, etc) my non-running-project-for-life 914 & the "internet", more specifically the 914world.com is brought up and neither subject is talked about by my wife in a loving manner (please dear, no cussing in front of the girls (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) ) I do see her frustration about the 914, it is a sickness I have for not being able to make forward progress...the question is what to do about it?? I've admitted I've done some stupid and foolish things like my last purchase of rims and tires when I already had a set pretty darn similar but they just didn't have the "perfect" look I am trying to achieve with my car. Short of selling everything off and turning off my internet access at home, what is a guy to do (IMG:style_emoticons/default/headbang.gif) Have her read: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger ... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) |
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| Howard |
Sep 7 2006, 03:17 PM
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#6
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Incontin(g)ent Member Group: Benefactors Posts: 5,785 Joined: 24-July 03 From: Westlake Village, CA Member No.: 943 Region Association: None 
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She's right. 914's in general and the 914club in particular are the Devil's Spawn. You must resist!
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| andys |
Sep 7 2006, 03:46 PM
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#7
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 2,165 Joined: 21-May 03 From: Valencia, CA Member No.: 721 Region Association: None
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"Well, we could be sitting around staring at each other, or I could be working in the garage." The answer is obvious, so I work on the car while my wife watches her Novela's. At days end, we sleep in the same bed.
Her downside is an expensive taste in fashionable clothing, though admittedly she looks great. In the end, I guess it's a small price to pay. Andys |
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| SirAndy |
Sep 7 2006, 03:51 PM
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#8
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Resident German Group: Admin Posts: 42,258 Joined: 21-January 03 From: Oakland, Kalifornia Member No.: 179 Region Association: Northern California |
really bad days usually start with:
"we need to talk ..." OR "so, how come ..." what she's really trying to tell you is that she wants more attention from you and your *other* things (914, clubsite) are competing with her "attention time". but men usually only hear the "tension" part, er, i mean "tention" part ... you should have learned that by now, (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) Andy |
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| KaptKaos |
Sep 7 2006, 04:09 PM
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#9
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Family Group: Members Posts: 4,009 Joined: 23-April 03 From: Near Wausau Member No.: 607 Region Association: Upper MidWest |
Get her her own 914 to drive and........um, nevermind. That might be a bad idea. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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| d7n7master |
Sep 7 2006, 04:15 PM
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#10
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Gary# Group: Members Posts: 663 Joined: 13-March 03 From: The O.C, Ca. Member No.: 421 |
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) Tell her that your girlfriend thinks your car is cute, never complains
and that she likes to hold your tool... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) Let us know how that werks out 4 ya;-) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/chair.gif) |
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| GWN7 |
Sep 7 2006, 04:16 PM
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#11
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King of Road Trips Group: Members Posts: 6,280 Joined: 31-December 02 From: Winnipeg, MB, Canada Member No.: 56 Region Association: Northstar Region |
Sounds like she needs some time alone with you or some time alone without work and kids. Or both. Two kids (no matter how cute) can be stressfull and are a big adjustment to any relationship. You escape to the garage/workshop/internet when you can and she resents that. You have to listen to what she is not saying (all women know men can read minds so this part should be very easy).
Make arrangents for a baby sitter and do a date night....the kind of date she likes....they type of resturant she likes, then movie & popcorn (pick a chick flic). Surprise her with flowers just before you leave the house. Stop and buy her a small stuffed animal (even if it's out of a grabber machine)..... But then what do I know....I've been divorced for 17 yrs (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) |
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| ppickerell |
Sep 7 2006, 04:19 PM
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#12
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914 addicted Group: Members Posts: 1,679 Joined: 14-October 03 From: Pleasanton, CA. Member No.: 1,246 |
QUOTE(SirAndy @ Sep 7 2006, 02:51 PM) really bad days usually start with: "we need to talk ..." OR "so, how come ..." what she's really trying to tell you is that she wants more attention from you and your *other* things (914, clubsite) are competing with her "attention time". but men usually only hear the "tension" part, er, i mean "tention" part ... you should have learned that by now, (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) Andy Who woulda thunk it, Andy a sensitive guy! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/chairfall.gif) |
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| LvSteveH |
Sep 7 2006, 04:24 PM
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#13
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I put the Poor in Porsche Group: Members Posts: 1,080 Joined: 22-April 03 From: Las Vegas, Nevada Member No.: 600 |
My mother-in-law told my wife that spending too much time and money on cars was a whole lot better than hookers or booze. It's been better since then.
Just so you don't feel alone, my wife absolutely refuses to ride to the RRC in my new "Nascar" 914. She wants to tow it up on a trailer. I'm currently exploring muffler options. It's all compromise, just make sure you get your way more than she gets hers. Another thing that's worked great for me is to say I want to move to Alaska. Whenever she makes a big stink, I pull out the maps. I tell her she can teach kids in the arctic by radio. Works like a charm. |
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| WRX914 |
Sep 7 2006, 04:31 PM
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#14
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2.5 WRX STI hybrid powered beast Group: Members Posts: 782 Joined: 16-September 04 From: Las Vegas, NV Member No.: 2,771 Region Association: Southwest Region |
Boy isn't this post appropriate! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif)
I don't know if you all have had the privilige of meeting Steve, but he is one of the genuine good guys. Last night Steve came over to my house to help me tie up a few loose ends before GAF. To make a long story short, Steve was in my garage working on MY car while I was inside getting the business from my wife while I was in the shower and getting ready for a party that we were late to cause Steve and I were trying to finish up. Basically, I just wanted to say thanks to Steve, you can call on my for help anytime... tx Keith (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) |
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| Howie's 914 |
Sep 7 2006, 04:36 PM
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#15
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Member Group: Members Posts: 76 Joined: 29-June 04 From: Greensboro, NC Member No.: 2,273 |
I had the same problem. The answer was to send the car off to the body shop to be restored. It has not come home yet, hopefully by Christmas. Then I will be working on it after she and our son goes to bed. The only problem with this plan is that she keeps asking me when is "it" coming home and how much is this costing.
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| markb |
Sep 7 2006, 04:42 PM
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#16
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914less :( Group: Members Posts: 5,449 Joined: 22-January 03 From: Nipomo, CA Member No.: 180 Region Association: Central California
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Make sure your relationship always comes before the car. Talk to her!! Mine didn't talk about it, and it built up in her to the point where she left. You've changed tracks & cars a lot, so maybe she thinks there'll be no end (there isn't but don't let her know that (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) ). Just my .02
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| swl |
Sep 7 2006, 04:48 PM
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#17
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Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 1,409 Joined: 7-August 05 From: Kingston,On,Canada Member No.: 4,550 Region Association: Canada |
Well Mike I'd like to give you an inspirational story of how she will grow to appreciate your hobby given the time. But nope - not gonna happen. I think there is only a handful of women in the world that understand cars and most of them hang out here.
Take my wife (please!). She hated the car when we met back in 75. Mind you she didn't say anything till well after we married. Even in it's long slumber in the garage there was always a resentful 'when are you going to get rid of that thing'. I've got it covered now though - when she asks that now I just say: 'listen - if I have to get rid of things that are old and a little saggy, just remember that the car has seniority over you.' Man I love sleeping on the couch. Just remember the old married couples credo: Before you make love remember to use those three words that mean so much in a relationship... Are you awake? |
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| Jenny |
Sep 7 2006, 04:49 PM
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#18
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 4,060 Joined: 6-January 03 Member No.: 96 Region Association: None |
QUOTE(LvSteveH @ Sep 7 2006, 03:24 PM) My mother-in-law told my wife that spending too much time and money on cars was a whole lot better than hookers or booze. Brian says the same thing about his guns and video games. I have no room to talk since I have my own rust bucket I'm trying to justify. Does Sherryl have any hobbies? When I'm bumping the board, making jewelry or knitting, that's when Brian's playing video games. It's healthy to have separate hobbies. Does she still go out with her sister and girlfriends? Volunteer twice a month to stay home with the girls while she goes to do whatever she wants. Spa and wine tasting in Napa, cosmos at the local bar, manicure/pedicure, shopping, etc... You have your happy place (right between the jack stands and the lathe) so she should have a happy place too. She's probably not only jealous of you not spending time with her, but also jealous that you have a hobby that you're really involved with. I hope Brian doesn't lurk on the board. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif) Jen |
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| Chris Pincetich |
Sep 7 2006, 04:51 PM
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#19
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B-) Group: Members Posts: 2,082 Joined: 3-October 05 From: Point Reyes Station, CA Member No.: 4,907 Region Association: Northern California |
Mike (and Bay Area guys in general), if your wife wants to start a "Wifes of 914club Addicts" support group, let me know, because my girfriend/SO would be a vocal attendee. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/av-943.gif)
You're not alone.... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif) |
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| turboman808 |
Sep 7 2006, 04:56 PM
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#20
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 2,718 Joined: 31-January 06 From: North Jersey Member No.: 5,505 Region Association: North East States |
QUOTE(Mueller @ Sep 7 2006, 01:04 PM) What I have noticed is that a few times things have gotten a little "heated" around the homefront for one reason or another (leaving toilet seat up, not mowing the lawn....etc, etc) my non-running-project-for-life 914 & the "internet", Might want to lay off the internet for awhile. I know I spend way to much time on here. Lucky for me I am not in a relationship so I can live like a caveman. But I would gladly mow lawns for sex and a bj!!! |
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