Bike Laws, but most apply to 914s too Options

[anderssj]

Got this list from an old buddy of mine. Originally thought the first law mostly fit the bike environment, but after a close call in the 914 last weekend, plus reading about Dave Hunt being forced off the road by a truck on his return trip, and other people getting hit from behind during the past couple of weeks, I've decided that it might work pretty well for the teener community too. Some of the others seem to apply pretty well too. My apologies in advance if this is "old news."

Law#1 - Riding: Ride like they're out to kill you. Don't even think about them not seeing you - think they *do* see you and want to kill you. ie - plan your escape.

Law#2 - Parts: You never need the part you have. Corollary: The distance to the part you do need is directly proportional to how badly you need for the part (Canada proved that to me -))

Law#3 - Troubleshooting: Look where you last worked.

Law#4 - Tools: You never have the correct tool on hand. If you own it, someone borrowed it; or it's lost in the dark corner of the garage where all the little red spray tubes congregate (spiders drag them there.)

Law#5 - People: There is always a bigger idiot. If you don't believe this, just try to make something idiot-proof.

Law#6 - Incompetence: Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence.

Law#7 - Devices: Most things work until they break. Then they're broken.

Law#8 - Parallelism: If one of two identical bulbs burns out, it's buddy is just waiting until you've replaced the one, and buttoned things up to blow out. Also applies to lots of other devices.

Law#9 - Self-aggrandizement: You were always quicker/faster in the retelling than in reality--and fish that got away are *always* whoppers. Corollary: The older I get, the better I was.

Law#10 - Time: Time *IS* relative. It can be much longer or shorter depending on the situation. Repair times tend to stretch out, good rides tend to be too short. Having to pee without a place to go can be infinity.

Law#11 - Self-knowledge: We're all bozos on this bus.

Law#12 - Pitstops: Take a pee whenever you find a place to. As you get older the urgency gets greater and the apparent distance between urinals gets greater. Related to Law#10.

Law#13 - Test Rides: Never ride a bike you can't afford (or a 914 with an engine bigger than the one yours has, or better suspension, etc.). When you're done, you will either be unhappy with your current ride until you figure out a way to afford the new bike (or -6, RAT MassIVe, 2.7, 3+, v8, new engine for the 914, or flares, Fuchs, 911S brakes, etc). Watch out for domestic turmoil as you try to convince SWMBO that you not only NEED the new bike (or engine +), it's a necessity.

Feel free to move this to the sandbox if that's a better place for it.

Best,

Steve A-

[zymurgist]

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/thumb3d.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biker.gif)

[Tom_T]

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif) - especially 10 & 12! .... oh wait .... gotta go pee again! .... dang it!!!! ...................... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/pinch.gif)

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(IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif) whew - that wuz close! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif)

.... Okay - here's another - time between pees in inversely proportional to one's age!!!! ....... ooops! ..... here I go again! ...................... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)