OT, humor - No nursing home for me, Maybe just in time for Howard and Slits |
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OT, humor - No nursing home for me, Maybe just in time for Howard and Slits |
Gint |
Feb 28 2005, 11:46 PM
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#1
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Mike Ginter Group: Admin Posts: 16,083 Joined: 26-December 02 From: Denver CO. Member No.: 20 Region Association: Rocky Mountains |
NO NURSING HOME FOR ME!!!
About two years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I noticed that all the staff, ship officers, waiters, busboys, etc. all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back. As we left the dining room one evening, I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises." She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home." So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess cruise ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 a day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for: 1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day. 2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week.) 3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers and shows every night. 4. They have free toothpaste, razors, soap and shampoo. 5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. 6. I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days. 7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience. 8. Clean sheets and towels every day and you don't even have to ask for them. 9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship, they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. Now.......hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship. P. S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge! |
redshift |
Mar 1 2005, 12:20 AM
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#2
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Bless the Hell out of you! Group: Members Posts: 10,926 Joined: 29-June 03 Member No.: 869 |
Remember the Lusitania!
M |
neo914-6 |
Mar 1 2005, 12:39 AM
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#3
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neo life Group: Members Posts: 5,086 Joined: 16-January 03 From: Willow Glen (San Jose) Member No.: 159 |
I can't afford to get old... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/ohmy.gif) |
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iiibdsiil |
Mar 1 2005, 01:16 AM
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#4
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Needs Door Locks Group: Members Posts: 605 Joined: 19-November 03 From: Tampa / Boca Raton, FL Member No.: 1,362 |
Well, if that's true, then I have my retirement plan set out. If I start saving now, can I retire when I am 30? Then I can chase new tail every 7-14 days? Awesome!
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Aaron Cox |
Mar 1 2005, 01:20 AM
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#5
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Professional Lawn Dart Group: Retired Admin Posts: 24,541 Joined: 1-February 03 From: OC Member No.: 219 Region Association: Southern California |
i want to die either A) doing something stupid in my car.... or
(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/cool.gif) with my S.O. |
redshift |
Mar 1 2005, 04:10 AM
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#6
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Bless the Hell out of you! Group: Members Posts: 10,926 Joined: 29-June 03 Member No.: 869 |
From what I hear, James De.. I mean Aaron, you probably will.
(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/unsure.gif) Slow down, bar boy! M |
Joe Bob |
Mar 1 2005, 08:49 AM
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#7
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Retired admin, banned a few times Group: Members Posts: 17,427 Joined: 24-December 02 From: Boulder CO Member No.: 5 Region Association: None |
I wanna die in the "saddle".....so I can come and go at the same time.... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/dry.gif)
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Aaron Cox |
Mar 1 2005, 01:36 PM
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#8
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Professional Lawn Dart Group: Retired Admin Posts: 24,541 Joined: 1-February 03 From: OC Member No.: 219 Region Association: Southern California |
(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/w00t.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/smoke.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/driving.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/wacko.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/unsure.gif)
funny thing... slits said he wanted to die riding a pony (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blink.gif) coincidence- i think not (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/lol2.gif) |
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Toast |
Mar 1 2005, 01:57 PM
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#9
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Not bad for carrying sway bars. Group: Members Posts: 3,377 Joined: 20-January 04 From: Las Vegas Member No.: 1,580 Region Association: Southwest Region |
Thanks for the tip Gint! My mom always wanted to go on a cruiz. Now I know where to send her. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif)
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SLITS |
Mar 1 2005, 02:09 PM
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#10
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"This Utah shit is HARSH!" Group: Benefactors Posts: 13,602 Joined: 22-February 04 From: SoCal Mountains ... Member No.: 1,696 Region Association: None |
This coming from a boy who intimately knows only Rosie Palms and her five sisters and rearend treats. |
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