OT: How I Spent My Summer Vacation, car related, not 914 related Options

[lapuwali]

My mother in law bought a 1973 Jaguar E-Type 2+2 new in 1973. There have been threats to give it to her only daughter, my wife, for several years now. This summer, those threats came true. The car has only been driven 40K miles, and while it's spent a LOT of time sitting, it's been reasonably well cared for.

I've had British cars before, but never a Jag, and never a V12. I was somewhat dubious. However, I'm never one to pass up an adventure. I've made the cross-country drive MANY times in pretty questionable cars (FIATs, for example). So, I flew to New Jersey, and intended to drive it back to California. Solo. I shipped a set of tools ahead.

The car had been serviced recently at a Jag shop, and it started and ran well. It ran a bit hot, esp. in traffic. Typical British problem, as the engineers there seemed to think 80dF was "bloody hot", and clearly didn't believe in testing in anything but English weather. The tools didn't arrive when expected, but I soldiered on, anyway. It was pouring with rain in NJ and PA, thanks to Dennis. Temps were about 60dF. Perfect British weather. By Harrisburg, however, the rain stopped and the air temps soared to 90dF. The water temp also soared, to the top of the "normal" range. When I stopped for gas (14mpg, 16gal tank, so stop every 200 miles for another $40 in premium), however, the temps went above "normal" for a bit, so I had to keep gas stops quick, and I waited for 1-2 hours at each stop for the engine temp to fall some.

By evening, the air temps had fallen enough that I could drive w/o constantly staring at the coolant temp gauge. I decided I'd have to drive at night from here on out. I was wondering how bad it would be out west.

On day two, in Missouri, it hit 96dF by 11am.

Near Columbia, MO, the water temp looked fine, but I began to hear a buzzing noise. Valve noise? No, that sounds exactly like my Mini sounded when I'd blown a head gasket between two cylinders. Ran fine, but made that noise and lost power. You notice when you lose two cylinders on a 998cc Mini. You don't much notice losing two cylinders on a 5.4L V12...

A couple of minutes of buzzing, and I hear a "pop...pop", and big clouds of smoke poured out of the exhaust. The engine instantly got rougher. Pull over...

Everything looked fine. Lots of water in the cooling system, lots of oil in the sump. No new holes in the block. No nasty noises of something loose flinging about in the engine. The next town was 2 miles away, and the engine would start and run, just poorly, so I soldiered on to the next town. Lots of smoke.

I identify where I was, and found I was within 100 miles of my parent's house, so I call AAA, as my wife has us on the premium plan (100 miles of free towing). After some discussion with my Dad on the phone, the car gets towed to the SAAB shop he uses (he's a real SAAB nut, and good friends with the owner). There are no Jag shops anywhere nearby, and I really didn't feel like trying to yank a head on this engine, so I call it a day. The shop is willing to store it for awhile, and I'll arrange transport back to California. I fly home.

So, just in case some of you may be wondering where I've been, I've been in British Car Hell. In a few days, when the transporter shows up at my house, I'll be in British Car Hell again. For the next few days, I'll be in bliss, with an empty spot in the garage that doesn't have 3800lbs of fine British engineering in it.