I hate those Cayennes, I want a catchy window sticker Options

[thomasotten]

I saw a women driving one the other day. The Cayenne, that is - the "abomination that causes desolation". This women wasn't hot looking, she wasn't even a soccer mom. Just a big cow driving the beast. I thought to myself, man, I wish I had a window sticker on the back of my 914 that would put down the Cayenne in some way. I hate those cars. Remember when all Porsches were stick, and that was enough to keep women out of them? That was when men were men, and women were women. Now, everything is screwed up. I know I am probably upsetting the women on this forum who drive 914s, but I don't mean to. Any girl willing to drive and put up with a 914 has erned the right to drive one. It is these other types I can't stand. That is the problem with Porsche - it is a company that is enscaunched in tradition. It attracts people who love tradition, and it also attracts people who have so much money that they screw up traditions. The 914 is more in line with the Porsche tradition than the Cayenne will ever be.

Just had to vent.

[Meredith]

This women wasn't hot looking, she wasn't even a soccer mom. Just a big cow driving the beast.

If it had been a hot woman or a soccer mom (or both) driving instead of a "big cow", would you be okay with it? Or would you still complain?

[MattR]

I want the ferrari shirt that says "we will never make an suv"

I watched the top gear that reviewed the cayenne, and it fared pretty well on and off road, but its a porsche! They should have put the same car under the audi nameplate, or maybe lamborghini...

[Katmanken]

Can we broaden this to cover all SUV's?

I 'm looking for some asshole that crunched my VW Vanagon this weekend at the grocery store. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ar15.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ar15.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ar15.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ar15.gif)

They put a huge dent in the rear quarter of my van and ran. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/finger.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/finger.gif)

Didn't know it until until the next day when I backed out of my drive and got about 200 feet from the house. Heard something hit the ground, looked in the rearview and saw something rolling across the road. Pulled over to find the plastic bumper cap all smashed to shit. Looked up and saw this huge dent with a black smear across it. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)

Damn that bumper was high. Standing next to the van with my arms down, the impact was between my wrist and elbow. That's SUV territory, not a Miata. Mattera fact, I'm thinkin sumthin like a huge ass Ford Expedition- it looks about the right height .

Spent my Sunday going in through the air intake with an ax handles, 2X4's, etc trying to push the dent back out. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/finger.gif)

Ken the sad

[Hawk]

That's quite an enlightened attitude youre sporting there. Nice.
Live and let live, brother. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smlove2.gif)

[boxstr]

Actually I am rather fond of my CAYENN, it gets the job done. Towed a 914 to the WCC and back, plus I took race tires for myself and Jim Chambers plus a ton of parts to sell at the Parts Heaven swap meet an dbring back a ton of parts that I bought a the Parts Heaven swap meet.
Hate them if you will but they get the job done.
CCLINSPICERACK

[RAR]

...I thought to myself, man, I wish I had a window sticker on the back of my 914 that would put down the Cayenne in some way.  I hate those cars.  Remember when all Porsches were stick, and that was enough to keep women out of them?  That was when men were men, and women were women.  Now, everything is screwed up.  I know I am probably upsetting the women on this forum who drive 914s, but I don't mean to.  Any girl willing to  drive and put up with a 914 has erned the right to drive one.  It is these other types I can't stand.  That is the problem with Porsche - it is a company that is enscaunched in tradition.  It attracts people who love tradition, and it also attracts people who have so much money that they screw up traditions.  The 914 is more in line with the Porsche tradition than the Cayenne will ever be.

Well I agree with your last statement, but let's put this Cayenne thing in a positive light. While I'm no fan of SUV's, the ONLY car company that did it right is Porsche. Their Turbo S circles a race track nearly as quickly as the 996. It's about the same as a Boxster S--a mid engined car BTW. Part of the Porsche tradition is brilliant engineering, and making a SUV handle like one of the top sports cars in the world is brilliant engineering. This is not a small SUV BTW, and challenge one to a freeway drag race with anything but our largest displacement 914-6's and you'll get "pepper sprayed". Porsche's are an expensive car, and that will attract those with money to buy them. This in turn helps support the company, and keeps it solvent.
Regarding the stick thing, Hurley Heywood said he could get a student around a race track faster with the most recent Tiptronic in a 996 than with a stick. It's a darn fine "automatic". While I too prefer the sports car look with six on the floor, credit where credit is due. The Cayenne is a brilliantly engineered sports vehicle, and it will also perform it's off road duties most handily.

[Levi]

The car that started the saying SUV.....

[LS6/914]

My 2cents worth. If you get the opportunity to drive a Cayenne turbo on a auto x course take it. The opinions that I had of this vehicle were quickly erased! Very capable and it can tow a 914.

[i love porsche]

I want the ferrari shirt that says "we will never make an suv"

I watched the top gear that reviewed the cayenne, and it fared pretty well on and off road, but its a porsche! They should have put the same car under the audi nameplate, or maybe lamborghini...

well...ACTUALLY ferrari did play a large part in producing the "la Forza" an italian suv, primarily designed by ferrari, although not released through them

[Rusty]

This women wasn't hot looking, she wasn't even a soccer mom. Just a big cow driving the beast.

If it had been a hot woman or a soccer mom (or both) driving instead of a "big cow", would you be okay with it? Or would you still complain?

Well said... and far nicer than I would have been.

I don't like the Cayenne on asthetic principals. It's an ugly, overpriced gas guzzler driven mostly by half-blind operators that feel safe because they have a lot of metal around them. Oh, wait... that's most SUVs.

But I don't hate the Cayenne, or feel the need to slam their drivers. So Porsche built an SUV... who cares? It's a strange departure from sports cars, but if it keeps the company afloat financially, good for them.

If I have a problem with anyone, it's Porsche and their departure from the racing world.

-Rusty

[scotty]

wish I had a window sticker on the back of my 914 that would put down the Cayenne in some way.

Unless the sticker has 2" letters, no Cayenne -- or any SUV -- driver will be able to read it. By the time they're close enough to read smaller type, your 914 is under their bumper. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

"Can you say, 'Speed bump?' I knew you could!" (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

[MattR]

"Real Porsches are AIR COOLED"

And, technically Lamborghini made an SUV too, but it was like a Hummer and was intended for military use. I dont know about the Ferrari SUV, though. Was it made recently to fit in as a trendy suv? Or was it a military vehicle too?

[Rusty]

Something funny sent to me a while back.

[Hawktel]

Dude, Having a dick doesn't mean you have some affinity for a manual over someone with boobs. That kind of thinking is just stupid.

Not liking the Pepperwagon is your perogative. But, not liking it cause of who drives is kinda silly to me. Find a real reason, and bitch about that please.

[machina]

Thanks for clearing things up guys, I always suspected I was an idiot.

dr

[URY914]

David,
You have a problem....a Porsche problem.


Paul (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[SirAndy]

the "la Forza" an italian suv

i actually test drove the very first one that came to the US!

it was a armoured (sp?) version of the vehicle, around 10000 lbs, but boy, that thing moved!

too expensive for me, but i had a blast.
friend of mine (ferrari guy who does restaurations) knew the guy who was doing the
testing for them in the US, so we got to go and play with it.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/driving.gif) Andy

[djm914-6]

On a more positive note and keeping with the sticker idea...

I was following a Jeep Wrangler the other day and read the window stickers he had on the rear glass and front windshield. On the rear it said something like; "It's a Jeep thing, you wouldn't understand." On the front it said (upside down): "If you can read this, turn me over".


Now, I've been driving my 914 daily for a few months, so I though something similar for our cars could be fun.

Rear:
"It's a mid-engine thing, you wouldn't understand"

Front:
"If you can read this, I've spun again"

Side note: My wife has never owned an automatic.

[Mark Henry]

Can we broaden this to cover all SUV's?

I 'm looking for some asshole that crunched my VW Vanagon this weekend...

Isn't a Vanagon an SUV?? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)


Sorry to hear about the dent, dOOd.