Home  |  Forums  |  914 Info  |  Blogs
 
914World.com - The fastest growing online 914 community!
 
Porsche, and the Porsche crest are registered trademarks of Dr. Ing. h.c. F. Porsche AG. This site is not affiliated with Porsche in any way.
Its only purpose is to provide an online forum for car enthusiasts. All other trademarks are property of their respective owners.
 

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

 
 Reply to this topicStart new topic
> OT, humor - No nursing home for me, Maybe just in time for Howard and Slits
Gint
post Feb 28 2005, 11:46 PM
Post #1


Mike Ginter
***************

Group: Admin
Posts: 16,066
Joined: 26-December 02
From: Denver CO.
Member No.: 20
Region Association: Rocky Mountains
NO NURSING HOME FOR ME!!!
About two years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western
Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner.

At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the
grand stairway in the main dining room. I noticed that all the staff,
ship officers, waiters, busboys, etc. all seemed very familiar with
this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she
owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for
the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room one evening, I caught her eye and stopped to
say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship
for the last four cruises."

She replied, "Yes, that's true."
I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied without a pause, "It's
cheaper than a nursing home."

So, there will be no nursing home in my future.
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess cruise ship.
The average cost for a nursing home is $200 a day. I have checked on
reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior
discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for: 1. Gratuities
which will only be $10 per day. 2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day
if I can waddle to the restaurant or I can have room service (which
means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week.) 3. Princess
has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and
dryers and shows every night. 4. They have free toothpaste, razors, soap
and shampoo. 5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient.
An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help
you. 6. I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days. 7. TV broken?
Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No
problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day and you don't even have to ask for
them. 9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you are on
Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship, they will
upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now.......hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the
Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia or name where you
want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me
in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P. S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side
at no charge!
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
redshift
post Mar 1 2005, 12:20 AM
Post #2


Bless the Hell out of you!
**********

Group: Members
Posts: 10,926
Joined: 29-June 03
Member No.: 869
Remember the Lusitania!

M
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
neo914-6
post Mar 1 2005, 12:39 AM
Post #3


neo life
*****

Group: Members
Posts: 5,086
Joined: 16-January 03
From: Willow Glen (San Jose)
Member No.: 159
QUOTE
The average cost for a nursing home is $200 a day

I can't afford to get old... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/ohmy.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
iiibdsiil
post Mar 1 2005, 01:16 AM
Post #4


Needs Door Locks
***

Group: Members
Posts: 605
Joined: 19-November 03
From: Tampa / Boca Raton, FL
Member No.: 1,362
Well, if that's true, then I have my retirement plan set out. If I start saving now, can I retire when I am 30? Then I can chase new tail every 7-14 days? Awesome!
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Aaron Cox
post Mar 1 2005, 01:20 AM
Post #5


Professional Lawn Dart
***************

Group: Retired Admin
Posts: 24,541
Joined: 1-February 03
From: OC
Member No.: 219
Region Association: Southern California
i want to die either A) doing something stupid in my car.... or
(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/cool.gif) with my S.O.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
redshift
post Mar 1 2005, 04:10 AM
Post #6


Bless the Hell out of you!
**********

Group: Members
Posts: 10,926
Joined: 29-June 03
Member No.: 869
From what I hear, James De.. I mean Aaron, you probably will.

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/unsure.gif)

Slow down, bar boy!


M
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Joe Bob
post Mar 1 2005, 08:49 AM
Post #7


Retired admin, banned a few times
***************

Group: Members
Posts: 17,427
Joined: 24-December 02
From: Boulder CO
Member No.: 5
Region Association: None
I wanna die in the "saddle".....so I can come and go at the same time.... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/dry.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Aaron Cox
post Mar 1 2005, 01:36 PM
Post #8


Professional Lawn Dart
***************

Group: Retired Admin
Posts: 24,541
Joined: 1-February 03
From: OC
Member No.: 219
Region Association: Southern California
QUOTE (redshift @ Mar 1 2005, 03:10 AM)
From what I hear, James De.. I mean Aaron, you probably will.

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/unsure.gif)

Slow down, bar boy!


M

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/w00t.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/smoke.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/driving.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/wacko.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/unsure.gif)

QUOTE
I wanna die in the "saddle".....so I can come and go at the same time....

funny thing... slits said he wanted to die riding a pony (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blink.gif)

coincidence- i think not (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/lol2.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Toast
post Mar 1 2005, 01:57 PM
Post #9


Not bad for carrying sway bars.
****

Group: Members
Posts: 3,377
Joined: 20-January 04
From: Las Vegas
Member No.: 1,580
Region Association: Southwest Region
Thanks for the tip Gint! My mom always wanted to go on a cruiz. Now I know where to send her. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif)
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
SLITS
post Mar 1 2005, 02:09 PM
Post #10


"This Utah shit is HARSH!"
**********

Group: Benefactors
Posts: 13,602
Joined: 22-February 04
From: SoCal Mountains ...
Member No.: 1,696
Region Association: None
QUOTE (Aaron Cox @ Mar 1 2005, 12:36 PM)
slits said he wanted to die riding a pony (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blink.gif)

coincidence- i think not (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/lol2.gif)

This coming from a boy who intimately knows only Rosie Palms and her five sisters and rearend treats.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
« Next Oldest · 914World Garage · Next Newest »
 

Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 

Display Mode: Standard · Switch to: Linear+ · Switch to: Outline

Track this topic · Email this topic · Print this topic · Subscribe to this forum

- Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 3rd May 2024 - 02:40 AM
Invision Power Board v9.1.4 © 2024  IPS, Inc.
All rights reserved 914World.com © since 2002
914World.com is the fastest growing online 914 community!
We have it all, classifieds, events, forums, vendors, parts, autocross, racing, technical articles, events calendar, newsletter, restoration, gallery, archives, history and more for your Porsche 914 ...