OT, humor - No nursing home for me, Maybe just in time for Howard and Slits Options

[Gint]

NO NURSING HOME FOR ME!!!
About two years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western
Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner.

At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the
grand stairway in the main dining room. I noticed that all the staff,
ship officers, waiters, busboys, etc. all seemed very familiar with
this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she
owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for
the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room one evening, I caught her eye and stopped to
say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship
for the last four cruises."

She replied, "Yes, that's true."
I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied without a pause, "It's
cheaper than a nursing home."

So, there will be no nursing home in my future.
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess cruise ship.
The average cost for a nursing home is $200 a day. I have checked on
reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior
discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for: 1. Gratuities
which will only be $10 per day. 2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day
if I can waddle to the restaurant or I can have room service (which
means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week.) 3. Princess
has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and
dryers and shows every night. 4. They have free toothpaste, razors, soap
and shampoo. 5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient.
An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help
you. 6. I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days. 7. TV broken?
Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No
problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day and you don't even have to ask for
them. 9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you are on
Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship, they will
upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now.......hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the
Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia or name where you
want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me
in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P. S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side
at no charge!