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> OT: how do you tell somone..., without hurting their feelings?
Trekkor
post Mar 6 2005, 03:54 PM
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I love to talk to people, don't you?
Sometimes people get excited and are happy to insert a wealth of profanity into their every sentence. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/barf.gif)

You can't just stick you fingers in your ears or slide a bar of soap into their mouth.

How can you tactfully say, " I like talking with you, but I don't appreciate the choice of language"?

Help me with this sensitive matter.

KT
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nebreitling
post Mar 6 2005, 04:05 PM
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you just tell them, dude.

if they're tough enough to swear like a sailor than they're tough enough not to get their feelings hurt.

nate

p.s. sorry if i used some poor language around you!! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/beerchug.gif)
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wrpspddrvr
post Mar 6 2005, 04:11 PM
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Tell 'em to stop using such dirty damn language! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/ohmy.gif)

Cole (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/monkeydance.gif)
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Trekkor
post Mar 6 2005, 04:17 PM
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Joke about if you like or flame me down.

I like people and don't like to make them feel bad or uncomfortable.

I don't want come across as "I'm better than you" or judgemental.

I choose to be selective in my vocabulary and make a strong effort to respect people's feelings. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/smile.gif)

KT
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Trekkor
post Mar 6 2005, 04:20 PM
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I do things...
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I'm talking about face to face, not this forum BTW. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/chatsmiley.gif)

Trying to censor just becomes a shouting match, flame-a-thon and we all feel bad. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/sad2.gif)

KT
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Aaron Cox
post Mar 6 2005, 04:20 PM
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say "hey, i know its your right to swear, but you are my friend and i'd appreciate it if you dont use language in front of me"

if they are truely your friend, theyll respect that
(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/unsure.gif)
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seanery
post Mar 6 2005, 04:21 PM
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I'd just tell them politely that you don't use those words and you'd appreciate it if they would try not to when talking to you.

I'm pretty crass sometimes, but there are some words I really don't like to use, so I can understand.
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davep
post Mar 6 2005, 04:22 PM
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Just say 'Please, profanity turns me off.' Quietly and with a sigh.
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Allan
post Mar 6 2005, 04:23 PM
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I understand how you feel. I spread my fair share of four letter words around but I know some people don't know when it's not appropriate. I work in construction so when I am in the field I will get alot of it when I'm talking to the crafts. If it goes on during the wrong time I'll throw something out there like "you kiss your mother with that mouth" and see if it stops. If not I'll just come right out and tell them that I'll wait to talk to them later when they can control it.
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tat2dphreak
post Mar 6 2005, 04:26 PM
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QUOTE (Aaron Cox @ Mar 6 2005, 05:20 PM)
say "hey, i know its your right to swear, but you are my friend and i'd appreciate it if you dont use language in front of me"

if they are truely your friend, theyll respect that
(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/unsure.gif)

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/agree.gif)

I can be the "sailor" at times, and an honest approach is best.... just say "I'm sorry, but do you mind... " and usually, people like me don't realize they are going overboard... esp. if I'm angry or riled up about something... they will understand
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415PB
post Mar 6 2005, 04:47 PM
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(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/dry.gif)
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d914
post Mar 6 2005, 04:48 PM
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hey I'm an old jerseyguy, to us its not swearing, sometimes we just need a reminder that we are hanging out with normal people...
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spare time toys
post Mar 6 2005, 04:51 PM
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Try like we do in the hanger."Hey dumb ass wanna clean it up a bit" (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/mad.gif) It works
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morph
post Mar 6 2005, 05:29 PM
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be polite .... but forward.tell em you dont like it
james
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scotty b
post Mar 6 2005, 05:33 PM
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rust free you say ?
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Fingers in ears, eyes shut and " LALALALALALALALALA"
otherwise konwn as "the Vancome lady" (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif)
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Gint
post Mar 6 2005, 06:30 PM
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Just remember Trekkor, you'll never get it if you don't ask for it.

You have as much right to have a profanity free conversation as your "friend" does to use profanity. If you don't appreciate it, you need to say so. If they value their realtionship with you, they will respect your wishes.

So tell the m)*&^!fu*^%# to eat s@#t and shut the f^&% u!
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TheCabinetmaker
post Mar 6 2005, 06:58 PM
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QUOTE (trekkor @ Mar 6 2005, 03:54 PM)

How can you tactfully say, " I like talking with you, but I don't appreciate the choice of language"?


I think you already fiqured it out. That's about as tactful and truthful as you can get.

I had and "ex" employee who insisted on using that kinda language anytime there was a female around. Problem was, those females were my customers. I wasn't very tactful. I told him (in front of one of them) to clean it up or hit the road. He was gone ten minutes later, and good riddance!!!!

Chances are, he's been talking like that all his life and learned it from his dad. If he can't accept a little contructive critisim, and your honesty in wanting to protect the friendship, He's prolly not that good a friend anyway.

Now, I'm gonna go throw some rocks at the prick running up and down the street at 40mph on his 4 wheeler with open pipes! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/ar15.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif)
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Rusty
post Mar 6 2005, 07:00 PM
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I don't cuss like a sailor... I cuss like a soldier. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/smile.gif)

Seriously, though. Sometimes my mouth gets pretty foul, and sometimes I forget where I am and just talk like I'm out in the field, emplacing weapons on the perimeter.

I *know* that profanity is a sign of a mind lazy/not creative enough to come up with other ways to say things... but I still do it.

I appreciate it when someone says to me... "dude, enough with the F-word."

-Rusty (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/smoke.gif)
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balljoint
post Mar 6 2005, 07:02 PM
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I always say: "I know that you were raised to speak that way, but please Grandma, don't cuss in front of the refrigerator."
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cgnj
post Mar 6 2005, 07:18 PM
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Hi,

After 3 years in the Army, after i was home, my best friend told me that he didn't think I could talk if I couldn't use the f word in a sentence. I was not offended and I realized how versatile the f word is and how imbedded into my speech pattern it had become. I didn't even noticed that I used it that much. Anyway, it was some of the best advice I had ever recieved.

Carlos
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