OT-914 Fantasy & Reality in my life, Life is a bitch then you die. Options

[TJB/914]

This is going to be a long one. Why did this happen to me. First I want to tell you how it should be.

914 Fantasy:
I have this recurring fantasy that crops up every time I return from a business trip. When I get home in this fantasy, the women who promised to love, honor and keep a candle burning in the window is waiting at the front door. She is wearing a simple little frock by Yves St. Laurent. There is a smile on her face and a glass of wine in her hand. "Hello my darling", she murmurs as I walk up the steps. "It's so wonderful to have you home again. Come in, sit down and let me rub your temples while I tell you about your rich uncle "Herbie" who you never met but died last week and left you a 0-milage original 914-6 GT. She leads me to my favorite chair in the living room. She brings me a glass of wine. I hope this Chateau Lafitte Rothschild isn't to imprudent, she says. I sip the wine slowly. It is a bit brusque, but I decide not to mention it. I'm not a picky person. After two or three glasses of wine, she brings the grandchildren into the room, one at a time.
each one smiles, hugs me then goes back to their room to play quietly for the rest of the day. The rest of the evening is spent in good wine, quiet conversation and occasional giggles. We wonder what color my new 914-6 GT will be??

Now for 914 Reality:
Last week for instance, I returned home from a long business trip. The women who promised to love, honor and burn my candle is not waiting for me at the door. The front door is locked. The keys are inside my suitcase. I have a choice of rummaging through a week's worth of dirty laundry or going to another door. I walk around to the side door. It's unlocked. I walk in, she is in the kitchen cleaning out the refrigerator. She is wearing a simple frock from K-Mart. There is grease smears on her forehead, bologna in her hand for supper sandwiches. Watch where your walk, she says. The dog just had another accident. Oh, and before you take your coat off, smell this bologna and tell me if you think it's rancid?? If it is you can take it out right now and throw it in the garbage. "Wait a minute". I've been gone a long time and isn't there anything you have to say besides "watch where you walk and smell the bologna?? Of course there is she said. Why didn't I think of it before. The Toilet's broken and the paper boy ran his bike into your 914. I pick my way through a floorful of empty pizza boxes, QVC boxes and cloths laying on the floor and head to the living room and my favorite chair. I discover it's occupied by my favorite dog woofie. I don't suppose you'd like me to sit in my chair I ask the dog. Woofie looks up at me, yawns and goes back to sleep. I sit on the couch. The women who promised to love, honor and trim my wick brings me a cup of tea. The last time I saw liquid that color, was a puddle under my 914,she explains. I didn't have time to go to the store while you were gone. Oh well it's hot. Eventually my grandchildren wander through the room. The 3-year old does not notice me. Tthe younger one runs a truck into my shins, Ouch!! They didn't know I was out of town. I finish my tea and go to fix the toilet. The dog greets me at the bathroom door and wants to lick my face with kisses. The dog then barfs up pieces of rubber parts. I discover he was chewing on the toilet plunger. Next I check my 914 and find the grandchildren played house in the 914 with their new paint set. Guess I will never win anothe rbest of show award. Gross.

Anyway that's my story for the week. It's been a rough one. Hope your week was better.

Tom