Realize these get around pretty fast, but FYI..

Subject: 2003 DARWIN AWARDS


2003 DARWIN AWARDS Yes, it's the one we've all been waiting for ... the
Darwin Award 2003. The candidates have finally been released! For
those not familiar with the Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the
person who provided the Universal human gene pool the biggest service
by getting KILLED in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always,
competition again this year has been keen.

DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES

* In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
into the sand caved in as he sat inside it.

Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection
from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom
Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of
sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their hands and
shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge,
VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

* In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he
fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing.
Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth
(to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the
floor.

* According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was
stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was
trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena
was wearing.

* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville,
Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver
loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

* In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta,
27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a
tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.

DARWIN AWARD HONOURABLE MENTIONS

* In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede
with a shot from his 22 calibre rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a
rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head,
fracturing his skull.

* In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane
torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his
house.

* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his
wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up
in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the
dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen,
but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP....

TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one
of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at
4:30 am. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that
no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a
coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured
around Gingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall
lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the
ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and
was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say, " said Bingham, "is
that God was watching out for me on that night." "There's just no other
explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER....PADERBORN, GERMANY Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich
Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal
laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the
plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper
under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the
relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's
unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he
struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant
continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn
police detective Erik Dern. 'with no one there to help him, he lay under
all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and
during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak
accidents that "stuff happens."

OH YEA - 200 LBS OF POOP

I wonder if he tried to hold his breath? <_<

OMG too funny!!!!

I think his twin brother is my boss.

Paul

Sometimes you just wonder WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING

LMAO this stuff makes me laugh so hard my sides hurt.