1. Only in the USA......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in USA.......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in USA......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in the USA.......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in the USA......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America.......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America.......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

they don't care what you bring in, only what you take out ...



you can walk to those ATM's ya know ... and they're the same ATM's found everywhere - otherwise, we'd be wondering why they have to have two kinds of ATM keyboards ...



1) because it's cheaper 2) no one cares what dishwashing liquid tastes like.



so far as you know ... we just know how those cans are labelled - not how the glop tastes - or compared to what ...



dogs. duh...

[edit - the BBS software that converts smileys where i don't want them and can't manage angle-brackets is starting to annoy me...]

ArtechnikA,

They're rhetorical questions....

You surely didn't take this 'literally' did you?!?

It's just a copy of an e-mail I received and thought some were rather humorous (ala
Gallahger)

HAAAAA!!!!!!! i got that email too!! here is another.

What A Difference 30 Years Can Make

1973: Long hair
2003: Longing for hair

1973: The perfect high
2003: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1973: KEG
2003: EKG

1973: Acid rock
2003: Acid reflux

1973: Moving to California because it's cool
2003: Moving to California because it's warm

1973: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2003: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1973: Killer weed
2003: Weed killer

1973: The Grateful Dead
2003: Dr. Kevorkian

1973: Going to a new, hip joint
2003: Receiving a new hip joint

1973: Rolling Stones
2003: Kidney Stones

1973: Being called into the principal's office
2003: Calling the principal's office

1973: Screw the system
2003: Upgrade the system

1973: Disco
2003: Costco

1973: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2003: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1973: Passing the drivers' test
2003: Passing the vision test

1973: Whatever
2003: Depends

why would you ask a question if you didn't want an answer?


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