I am "interviewing" a potential long term toolwench, and was wondering what the official qualifications are. I seem to remember a thread about this a long time ago, but was unable to find it.

TIA,

Steve

Must be a real wench, not artificially enhanced.
Must know which end of a wrench is which, and willing to use it properly.

Must have a frim tool grip

A few things I can think of for 'official' toolwenching:

1) she must have the ability to see a rusted chassis with dirt, mouse droppings and many of the important operating parts in the passenger compartment as having incredible potential

2) she must be willing to get her hands dirty...really dirty...and still be willing to clean up in less than an hour to make you proud to be with her when you leave the garage

3) she must be willing to fetch countless bottles of water - even when you think you don't need water, cans of beer when you are done and arrange meal times around when you'll be ready for a break in the car repair

4) she must learn how to read the manuals and remember that the same size socket you needed to take off the bolt will be needed again in that same place when its time to reassemble

5) she must learn to stand by with a fire extinguisher in a non judgemental way as you work with the fuel lines and she must be able to panic only slightly when fuel runs out of the lines that aren't quite completed

6) she must know what to say or what NOT to say when a repair goes horribly wrong and be quick enough on her feet to dodge any flying tools or welding helmets if those are thrown in frustration

7) she must be able to know if an injury is important enough to require a trip to the emergency room and be able to drive calmly there if necessary

8) she must learn that the phrase 'on the bright side' is not always appreciated regardless of how comforting and supportive she's trying to be

9) she must be willing to arrange plans and learn to love the garage as a 'happy place' if she wants to spend time with you

Most of these I've mastered - some of them I still need work on.....but I look forward every day to the time when Lawrence is back in the States safely and I can practice my toolwench skills again. Maybe that is the most important skill..and one that can't be learned...she has to WANT to be your toolwench.

-Pam

If she (must be a "she", otherwise no "wench"!) helps you R&R the engine of your 914, she's a Toolwench.

If she helps you de-rust your 914 and paint it, she's a Major League Toolwench.

If she lets you use her garage to do all of the above, and helps you out with it, she's the A-Number One Boss Goddess Toolwench of All Time! (Isn't that right, Pam?)

--DD

I just sat here for 5 minutes trying to figure out what the hell a toolwRench is...

T o o l W e n c h.

Nobody's ever caught toolwenches on photo. They are extremely elusive...

Jen

ok, let's see ...

With this crowd....if she's breathing, she qualifies....

Soo, gay couples don't qualify? Hmmm, I know two gay couples where one is got to be called a "tool wench". Sooo, if that term doesn't apply what would?

Geoff

i don't think most of us are THAT picky ...

Pam,

ROTFL! You post was perfect. I'll be sharing it with toolwhench-wanna-be's in the near future! (and we look forward to R's safe return as well!)

Jen, I'm not sure working on your own car qualifies -- but I'm no expert! Certainly, Andy's pic taking skills have improved since he started shooting pics of you -- but I'm sure that's a training thing

kim.

that's NOT her car!

that's sean (seanery) 's car ...

Andy

I'am,

I further require a pulse and nice legs..................

Pam and Jen... THANKS!!!

now if we could clone you both so there are more of both of you to go around!!

Apparently Jen not only can turn a wrench... she cooks too!!

Id be happy to have someone like you to play tool wench as I play fool with tools LOL

I think as I get older, my needs get simpler...

Just stay out of the garage to the greatest extent possible, especially on weekends. And don't ever, ever touch the cars or the tools.

Hmmm... at least half of these make me sound like I might be a bit difficult to work with...

-Rusty

The place: Pamplona Spain
The occasion: The running of the toolwenches. Attend this years running and cut yourself a young filly toolwenchette from the herd.
...A toolwench ???