A young blonde woman in Shreveport, Louisiana, was so depressed
that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Red River. She went down to the bridge and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the bridge, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh
start in Europe would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From
then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece
of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the
captain.

What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get
food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is Harrah's Casino, and we never
leave Shreveport."

That was so funny!

Lisa

A thirsty terrorist comes crawling out of the Afgan desert and comes upon George Bush Sr. sitting at a small table full of hand made silk neckties. The terrorist begs for water, and George offers him his selection of ties at the sale price of $150.00 each. The terrorist becomes beligerent and vulgar and says "I don't want your yankee neckties--just water you idiot". So George tells the man of a good kiosk just a 1/2 mile thataway full of cool drinking water. The terrorist is grateful and goes on his way.
About 6 hours later the terrorist returns . George asks him if the water was good... the terrorist replies " Yes I find de place but your farging suneebeechy son would not let me in because I was not wearing a tie!"