Dont get me wrong, I love animals, I grew up with 9 cats, 3 horses, tons of dogs and other animals. I dont have one now because I wouldnt be albe to spend much time with it and that is just not right. However, I am out here in my garage right now and the door is open as it is a very nice looking day outside right now. I hear gardeners at a few different houses in my neighborhood working on their lawns. A few doors down there is a gadener mowing a lawn and going at it quite vigorously, He is pushing the mower under the bushes and all of a sudden you hear a cat scream and the mower chokes a little bit. Part of me went oooh, thats going to hurt. The other half is rolling on the floor laughing. I am hoping it is/was the same cat that keeps shitting in my flower bed in front of my house.

roto-kill? Tastes like chicken!

hey.. free dinner!

Scott,
I love animals of all kinds EXCEPT...cats, sneaky bastards.

I'd say it is time to eat some pussy

Couldn't resist...hehehe

When I was a little tike, about 3 or 4, my dad's prize possission was a 69 Cutlass Convertible....Royal Blue with white top and stripes, with the 442. SWEET car. First car he ever bought after he got out of the Air Force. He drove it every day.

We had one of those old neighbor ladies that liked to feed all the stray cats of the neighborhood. There were always a dozen cats hanging around. While we were gone, one of them decided to sharpen its claws on the top of the convertible and ripped a small gash in the top. Well, being a curious cat, he slid in through the hole to investigate. We think it was within a day or so of us leaving. The cat couldn't get out, so it proceeded to shred the leather interior & deficate everywhere.

The cat survived, only because my dad was in disbelief when he went to get in the car the following Monday. He opened the door and the cat sped off. My dad ended up selling the car as it was pretty much impossible to get the smell out, let alone repair everything.

Ever since, if my dad sees a cat crossing the road, he mashes the accelerator.

several years ago, a cousin of mine was driving down the interstate when all of a sudden she heard a terrible noise coming from under the hood. she stopped to check it out, only to find the remains of a cat scattered around the engine compartment. stupid cat decided to take a nap under the hood and got caught by the radiator fan.

Sounds like an urban legend... why would the cat wait until the interstate to start yowling?

Pics? Here ya go.

Riding my little Honda 350 one day (a long time ago) and a cat ran right in front of me. I swerved like crazy and ended up laying the bike down, doing extensive damage to the bike not to mention a huge strawberry on my left leg and thigh. The worst part though was 3 more inches and I would have nailed that sucker!!
Cheers, Elliot

I never realized cats were such casualties to cars. I'm not partial to felines myself, highly allergic. But sad nonetheless. How the hell do they get up in there anyway? And I thought cats were clean. I sure as shit wouldn't pick an engine compartment to take a nap in!

Jen

Matt R. Thanks for the sinous cleansing. When I saw the free cat picture I was sipping Ginseng tea and it went all over everything. To my sick mind that is the funniest thing I've seen on the internet in a while.
Cheers, Elliot

Only good snake is a dead snake.

Same applies to cats.

ONE OF THE MANY GREAT TRUTHS IN LIFE:
" THE MORE YOU RUN OVER A DEAD CAT, THE FLATTER IT GETS!"
That always amused me, so it tells you something about me you may not wish to know!

I aim to please.

Elliot,

Ever get birds in the turbines when you fly?

I thought that it was a known fact that cats like to get up into the engine compartment. Maybe it doesn't happen as much now with there not being as much room under the hood of todays cars.

A family friend had a cat that loved it under the hood, it managed to survive a couple of engine startups with a trip to the vet for one. I guess it used up it's 9 lives and finally got caught in the belt, wasn't a pretty sight. TRUE STORY.

One less cat though.

I'm sorry, this is just my opinion, as an animal lover, I find this cruel, and it makes me sad that people feel this way about cats.


HIEDI

Going into Baltimore, took a seagull into the #3 engine (727). Hit a HUGE bird with the 747 one night going into Anchorage. I thought we hit an ultralight airplane. Not much damage though. Just freekin scary. Birdstrikes happen almost everyday somewhere. I'm just glad that cats don't fly!!
Cheers, Elliot

Cats aren't animals. They are demonic beings that must be totally destroyed.
Cheers, Elliot

I lived in Anchorage when a flock of geese took out a big airforce plane. The trouble they go through now to controll the birds is amazing.

Here in cold country it is always prudent to bang the hood before starting your car. Not just for the kittys sake, they make a heck of a mess when run thru the fan.

Dog person.......

Then obviously you don't have a neighbor who's cat scratches your car, kills the quail you feed in your yard, and SHITS in your vegetable garden (I do NOT enjoy weeding a litter-box!). I wouldn't mind anyone's cat as long as it stays off my property. I don't send my pets over to my neighbors house to crap, kill wildlife, and damage property and I expect the same.

-Ben M.

ps- I like animals. I think cats can be very cute and funny. I don't derive pleasure from the death or suffereing of anything. My gripe is with pet owners, not animals.

Took a feathered friend thru the prop on the 172 at altitude - damn I wish they had windshield wipers.

I bet this guy dosen't have a problem with cats.......

Yesterday morning it was kinda cold. I went through a gate to get to the meter and as I was closing it to leave it felt kinda funny. Then at about eye level I noticed the reason why. A huge lizard decided to get in their and I cut him in half. He was still kicking so I had to stomp him to end his misery.

Hay, I love cats too. Wanna exchange recipes?

I've owned cats and I like having em around, except when they are marking their territory on my drapes or sharpening thier claws on my sofa, or spraying on my tires, or howling at night. Other than that they're great!

My husky likes cats.

i hate cats. my golden retrievers love them

Cats WILL nap in strange places.. I have a fluffy orange tabby with a distinctive meow.. My brother and I (when I lived in west sac) were in his truck and on the way to downtown sacramento. We were about to get on the freeway when I heard a meow, and immediately recognized it as teflon. We had the rear window of the cab open, and it sounded like it was coming from the bed, but there was no cat there. We pulled over, and I looked around... When I looked underneath I saw teflon's tail hanging down from above the spare tire. I had to reach up there and peel him off, he had a death-grip on that tire and was scared out of his wits. I have no idea why he didn't hop off and run away when we first started the truck.. he chose to hang on for 2-3 miles. Who knows what would have happened we had gotten on the freeway! After peeling him off the tire, we went back home and put him inside. For the next couple weeks he stayed burrowed under the covers on my bed and would only come out to eat, drink, and visit the litterbox.

Bruce, was thinking of getting the same sign for my front gate. San Diego county almost lost a census person last year who couldn't read the following "Beware of the Dog"

needles to say, no cats in my yard

Big engine compartments are nice napping places, i think the car was like a '71 monte carlo.

My first 914 had just been painted, just got it all put back together and took it over to a friends to show it off. His cat decided to slide down the freshly painted hood with muddy paws and left nice scratches all the way down. My foot never connected, but buddy if it had!!!

I just made it to member status. go me, it's my birthday. not really, but you get the idea.

Easily excited huh? I get like that sometimes. Like today when my new hats arrived and my new long sleeve shirt. It must be my birthday or something.

Cats really do like to sleep in strange places.

That is a very comfortable and trusting cat, most cats spook easily and where that cat is at, he is like in a cage and could not get out fast enough.

I once owned a cat that visited my El Camino's engine compartment.
The fan blade cut her up pretty badly, however, she did survive.
The event broke her tail and whenever she walked through a puddle
she left a brush line of water between her paw prints. She was easy to follow after that.
She ended up disappearing in a storm.

I've also had a neighbor's cat spray my motorcycle helmet. That was a real gagger.
Got a trap and delivered him to the SPCA. The next day the neighbors kids came looking for him.
I told 'em "Sorry, never saw him".

We're a two dog family now.

How do you fax a cat?

Step 1: Flatten the cat...

One out a hundred cats have a personality I can take.... the kids have three....they DO keep my front yard free of gophers. The two Labs and the Doxies keep the backyard free of cats but are cruddy at gophers...at the least the Labs are....the Doxies are less than a year old...

I hope when the summer comes around that the Doxies earn their keep.....even though I dearly love to hear the trap snap and the scream of a snared gopher....

Hey Mike, that is one hell of a fine looking woman in your avatar this time. Mighty fine!!! Indeed.

Scott,
You are sick for even starting this thread!
You know how much I love my kitties!

<_<
Lisa

Hey Lisa, I love cats too!

Gato Tacos

Gato Stew

Gato on a Stick

Tastes like chicken

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks" the girl says. The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner", the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's
collar too, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I
wouldn't have a siren."

Nice one Bruce!

lol

I agree with Heidi.

As you say, the problem you have is with your neighbor, and their irresponsible habits of cat ownership.

This is a sad story, and if deliberate... incredibly cruel. Anyone that would deliberately inflict that kind of pain on an animal deserves the same treatment to himself.

I would sure hate for that animal to have been Fruitloop, my son's kitten.

-Rusty

Toilet Wash
Instructions on how to wash your toilet:

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog