Ok, this problem is weird.
Whenever I turn my sterring wheel to the right my higbeams come on.
It's not in the horn ring nub cause I can duplicate the problem with the steering wheel completely off. If I turn the wheel right and left at just the right spot, I can turn the high beams on and off!
And it's not in the turn signal high beam switch cause I changed it to a spare I had and still had the same problem.
Any guesses?

could be a chaffed wire along the column from the high/ low switch. the wires from the relay to switch these go to ground to actuate.

You may have a bent steering shaft.

Doubtful as I put a completely different switch in (and the wires in the plastic gaurds looked fine on visual)
I did notice that the colum is quite loose in it's bearings. No doubt they need replacement, but how could that trigger the switch?

Hmmmm. I don't think so but that's hard to determine unless it's out and dissassembled. The shaft is quite loose in the bearings though (they're shot) so I wonder if that's causing a fault of some kind triggering the relay?

My guess is that something is flexing enough to either cause the switch/connection to contact, or the yellow/red wire is grounding out somewhere (probably still due to flex).

I think that might be it although it'll be a bitch to repair. Steering colum will need to come out to replace those bearings. Needs to be done anyway so I'll report back if that solves the problem. Bleh.

Well the bearings did indeed need replacement that's true, but once I had things apart I noticed that some wires were chaffed and exposed just below the steering colum switch plugs. Little doubt they were grounding when the steering wheel (which was quite loose) was turned at a certain angle. Soooo, all problems solved.