deer santa:
i wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
yeer. Yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.. How
about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and
write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE
can spell! Santa
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like
for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what
you can do.
Love,
Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in
a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come
back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly?
It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice
Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with
those?
Santa
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a
dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my
face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two
words, Jim Beam.
Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every
year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have
a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-
budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and
squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing
money at the craps table.
Santa
P.S.
Tell your mom she got the part.
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when
we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
I'm skipping your house.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please
PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that
crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater
again.
Santa
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our
home?
Love,
Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're
getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a
house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex.
Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do,
through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
Full Version: Dear Santa
I forgot that one just copied it and sent to all my friends ,HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
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