Ok, I've read Old Joe Sharp's and Toast's account of my encounter with the Ventura Sheriff and have been insulted by the Arizona chapter about "sharing a cell with Brad", So maybe it's time to give the account from my eyes and ears....

Friday Nite...WCC2005....Joe Sharp's Rolling Brothel and Tequila Storage Facility Motorhome.....I must have drank most of the ToKillYa.

Saturday Morn...."How did I get here?"....Any information is welcome. No Pics please..The view from my eyes is REALLY bad.

Poker Run.....Old Joe starts out behind me in his beautimous sixer chasing Der Weisze Bandit mit the mighty four. He is unable to gain much on me as we roll down the highway and start the twisties and at that point I lose contact with him in the mirrors.

I come upon a line of teeners and proceed to make an outside pass. No problems...Jason in the Otto's Bumblebee takes offense and gives chase. Old Joe is nowhere in sight. We continue and Jason almost misses one of the required turns as I brake hard for an uphill righthander. Where's Joe

We are now rolling thru the "Land of Money I will never have" when we come upon a straight with a "Student Driver" in the lead of a sixer. A quick decision is made that the two car pass will present no problems setting up for the 90 degree left hander I can see in the distance....so one gear down...foot to the floor...I make the pass and kick it into 5th the Tachometer hits 5200 rpm as I drop back in. I'm setting the line I'm going to take as I see the odd colored domestic sedan hiding behind a bush and go hard on the brakes. Just a tad to late as I make the 90 degree. So I'm busted and find the nearest MBZ driveway to pull into and shut the Bandit off awaiting the arrival of the Blue Meanies.

I am assembling the necessary papers as the BM approached from the rear. At reaching the door, the following conversation occurs:

BM....Give me a reason for not arresting you and impounding your car (very loud voice)

Slits...Ummm, I don't have one.

BM...Do you know how fast you were going?

Slits...Not really, but I was in the lead

BM...We take reckless driving very seriously here because of the Bicyclists.

Slits...I was watching for them and didn't hit any.

BM...Give me a reason for not impounding your car!

Slits....I don't have one.

BM....No narrative here as it was a 10-15 minute scalding of reckless driving, high speed, bicyclists problems they were having and a general dressing down. I held my head in the appropriate position indicating submission (it was really hurting from the ToKillYa and I didn't want him to see my eyes closed).

Slits...15 minutes later...Yes Sir, I understand your postion and am willing to suffer the consequences. Would you like me to step out of the car so you can handcuff me?

BM....No, wait here

Slits...I hadn't planned on going anywhere.

Intermission...background sounds of radio calls, birds chirping and other teeners motoring by with a horn honk here and there.

BM....Well you seem like a good guy, so I have written this citation for 80 in a 55 which will help you a bit on the fine amount. This is a 40 zone and I am not a Highway Patrolman.

Slits...I am eternally grateful. I am sorry that my exerbuence got a bit out of hand.

Enter a semi-english speaking bicyclist..name unknown, but sounded like Sir Andy. "You did a 360 at the top of the hill, out of control"

Slits...I'm sorry Sir...that was not me..I do not lose control of my car in a turn.

SESB (see above..semi english......)...It was a car just like this one (speaking to the BM)

Slits...Sir, there are only about 99 more of these on the highway today.

BM to SESB....Sir, it wasn't him, so pedal down the road a bit and I will come talk to you after I'm finished.

BM to Slits....Please sign here (offering a pen)

Slits....I have my own sir.

BM....Here is your copy and slow down. We have a lot of problems with the Bicyclists...They even get into fights with each other over road space and you sports car guys and motorcylists don't help any. By the way, I would have pulled all six of you over, but I'm only one guy and you're it. Tell your friends they owe you a real nice dinner for this one.

Slits...They're to cheap to do that. They are all 914 owners. Have a good day sir.

Exit to the sound of the mighty four at 2500 rpm, drounding out the chirping birds and bicyclists threats of harm.

Oh, BTW....has anybody seen Old Joe Sharp?

I nominate this thread for the CLASSICS section!

this is too funny...

"BM...Do you know how fast you were going?

Slits...Not really, but I was in the lead "


So is this a petition for a maximum driving age???

Way to take one for the team. Not for John and I though. We were going the wrong way for the most part. But it was fun!

Jen

ron... how was the wedding?


btw- your eyes werent that bloodshot on sat...

QUOTE (Aaron Cox @ Apr 26 2005, 01:46 PM)

ron... how was the wedding? btw- your eyes werent that bloodshot on sat...

You didn't get close enough to see...my breath wouda killed ya.

The wedding...what wedding...oh yea....It was a tear jerker (Slits' softer side)

QUOTE (Aaron Cox @ Apr 26 2005, 12:46 PM)

ron... how was the wedding? btw- your eyes werent that bloodshot on sat...

Like you could tell. you were blowing dust and talking like someone put shag carpet on your tongue

QUOTE (joe buckle @ Apr 26 2005, 01:52 PM)

QUOTE (Aaron Cox @ Apr 26 2005, 12:46 PM) ron... how was the wedding? btw- your eyes werent that bloodshot on sat... Like you could tell. you were blowing dust and talking like someone put shag carpet on your tongue

no way.....

ron has a soft side? no way!
all those years of being a crotchety old man gone?

QUOTE (Aaron Cox @ Apr 26 2005, 12:56 PM)

ron has a soft side? no way! all those years of being a crotchety old man gone?

Nah, thats why they make viagra.

QUOTE (MattR @ Apr 26 2005, 02:00 PM)

QUOTE (Aaron Cox @ Apr 26 2005, 12:56 PM) ron has a soft side? no way! all those years of being a crotchety old man gone?  :lol: Nah, thats why they make viagra.

nominated for the best smart ass comment

That sucks Ron. I wasn't around to see it or contribute but I'll buy ya lunch anyway. Those stupid ass bicyclists are idiots. I came around at least 3 blind steep uphill curves to find them right in the middle of the road doing -1 mph.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

LMAO! that's great!!

Oh My God That's Funny. Sorry about the ticket, but at least you have a great story.


This isn't funny:

QUOTE (Headrage @ Apr 26 2005, 01:02 PM)

Those stupid ass bicyclists are idiots.   I came around at least 3 blind steep uphill curves to find them right in the middle of the road doing -1 mph.

Maybe so, but if they hit your car you aren't dead. Yeah, my other car is a bicycle.

I've never hit a car, but I have been hit by cars twice: once on a coned-off parking lot race course, another time in a bike lane. Neither time was I where I wasn't supposed to be. I got off lucky, but I knew two people who were killed in bike/car collisions. So I take this seriously. Share the road.

I admire the people that can endure the type of riding they do, but c'mon, at least stay to the side of the road and not on the center line

QUOTE (Headrage @ Apr 26 2005, 02:40 PM)

I admire the people that can endure the type of riding they do, but c'mon, at least stay to the side of the road and not on the center line

real bikes belong on trails


my other ride is a mt bike

QUOTE (Reiche @ Apr 26 2005, 02:24 PM)

Share the road.

I agree with the whole share the road sentiment. But, then again,most cyclists I see have a holier than thou complex. They are in a mode of transportation, and are using the road, just like cars & motorcycles. Yet I rarely see them actually stop for a red light, or stop signs. Or they ride on sidewalks. Either you walk on sidewalks, or ride/drive in the street. I don't coast up to a red light in my 914, check traffic on both sides, and glide thru the intersection like moses parting the sea.

Maybe this only pertains to the San Francisco bay area bicycle riding hippies. I'm not one to judge.

Jen

Like you can really deal with a grown man who wears spandex?

UCSB....the Republik of Isla Vista has a long standing student policy of blowing thru stop sign and light w/o even a tap on the brakes. Been going on like that for 20 years.

Local University Police and the CHP finally started pulling students and "spandex bikers" over last week and issuing 150 dollar tickets. They also were citing for earphones.

I agree, a lot of bikers are morons, but there are a lot of asshole drivers that think nothing of blowing the horn or smacking them with side view mirrors. Dorks on both sides.

WTG MAN! You rock!

About 10 years ago, I was being setup for a heist, I was driving through a bad part of town at about 2AM, with peeps all standing in the street. This one guy on a bicycle was rolling head-on towards me, and I would have to either stop, or hit him.

The added 400rpm should have been enough warning "I don't stop for crackheads on bikes", but his face looked real funny at the last second, just before he took flying lessons.

65 in a 35, he can come get what's left of his Huffy, anytime.

Nice job on the law, Ronster.


M

I knew better than to push Ron, and I'm sure that helped to keep our speeds down. If I had pushed your buttons we would both be in jail.
I owe you alot more than lunch BUDDY.
I have to addmit that I was quite relived to get away from the ticket.
Joe

QUOTE

"You did a 360 at the top of the hill, out of control"

I want to know who is actually admitting to the spin out!

QUOTE (anthony @ Apr 26 2005, 04:49 PM)

QUOTE "You did a 360 at the top of the hill, out of control" I want to know who is actually admitting to the spin out!

I heard rumors.........

Ok, I deseve that one.


I remember someone saying they spun out at the top of the hill, but I dont remember who.

QUOTE (Reiche @ Apr 26 2005, 01:24 PM)

Oh My God That's Funny. Sorry about the ticket, but at least you have a great story.

So Ron how much does a fella havta' give for story like that?

Do y'all have "drivers re-edification courses" over there, like they got here?




(PAY THE MONEY)

John

Aright' good tale, I knew there would be one,


I am here and now offering TEN DOLLARS from the low desert chapter for the SLITS TICKET FUND.

John

Lower Desert Chapter Grants Admin.

QUOTE (Flat VW @ Apr 26 2005, 04:57 PM)

Do y'all have "drivers re-edification courses" over there, like they got here?

Yea, its call SENIOR DRIVING CLASS.









I'll donate to the SLITS Ticket Fund

I'll donate a costco sized can of Tucks, that's gotta sting the ole poop shoot..

QUOTE (SLITS @ Apr 26 2005, 03:54 PM)

QUOTE (anthony @ Apr 26 2005, 04:49 PM) QUOTE "You did a 360 at the top of the hill, out of control" I want to know who is actually admitting to the spin out! I heard rumors.........

I vote Brando

QUOTE (anthony @ Apr 26 2005, 06:49 PM)

QUOTE "You did a 360 at the top of the hill, out of control" I want to know who is actually admitting to the spin out!

::: Raising Hand :::

That would have been Brando and I. We were into a turn, and a spandex-wheenie was on the wrong side of the road trying to be all fast. It was 360, or punt the biker into next week.

QUOTE (Reiche @ Apr 26 2005, 01:24 PM)

Oh My God That's Funny. Sorry about the ticket, but at least you have a great story. This isn't funny: QUOTE (Headrage @ Apr 26 2005, 01:02 PM) Those stupid ass bicyclists are idiots.   I came around at least 3 blind steep uphill curves to find them right in the middle of the road doing -1 mph. Maybe so, but if they hit your car you aren't dead. Yeah, my other car is a bicycle. I've never hit a car, but I have been hit by cars twice: once on a coned-off parking lot race course, another time in a bike lane. Neither time was I where I wasn't supposed to be. I got off lucky, but I knew two people who were killed in bike/car collisions. So I take this seriously. Share the road.

I didn't go on the run, but, i had to drive my SUV up to the ranch. Alot of bikers were simply taking over the road. lots of blind corners. So, your choices are: pass them and risk hitting someone head on.........slam on the brakes and risk having someone who is tailgating slam into you.

I have no problem sharing the road. the bikers in that area seem to have a real problem with sharing though.

And i'm driving speed limit or less in a big F###'n SUV.

My good friend is an ER doctor and has a name for that type of biker. Same thing goes for the motorcycles that zip between cars on the freeway or busy streets. he calls them "organ donors"

I just don't see the appeal of biking on the roads up there. I would figure for biking, you'd want long straight roads, not really twisty curvy roads. Maybe one of the cyclists on the board can explain this. I just can't imagine that a bicycle is any fun to carve corners with.

Cyclists are not allowed on most freeways as far as I know, probably because they are very dangerous places for them. I would think the same should apply on these moutnain roads. At the posted speed limits it can still be dangerous like Joe said, with cyclists. Sharing the road is one thing, but if a road can't ssafely be shared, then what do you do?


-Tony

Bicylists make better road bumps than car or trucks. If I have a choise I will pick the lightest object.
Joe

QUOTE (joe buckle @ Apr 26 2005, 05:34 PM)

My good friend is an ER doctor and has a name for that type of biker.  Same thing goes for the motorcycles that zip between cars on the freeway or busy streets.  he calls them "organ donors"

Oh yeah!!! But ya know we need them for Ron's impending liver transplant!

Lisa

Ahhh ...They were sharing, They were just taking their half out of my side...

So, let me get this straight... they don't pay gasoline taxes and yet they want to share the road? And this is now the a safety policy of LAC/VC Sheriff's Office and CHP? What wrong wit dis pictcha?

QUOTE (Howard @ Apr 26 2005, 02:10 PM)

Like you can really deal with a grown man who wears spandex?

LMAO

Unfortunantly, some of the attire of certain members of this club falls into the same category.

It's like out of line 5 year olds.

People have asked, "Miles, what the heck should we do with hostile, or uncontrolable 5 year olds?". I have told these good folk, "Welp, first you kill a few of them, in plain view of the others....".... these people ususally turn, and run from me.. but a few see the perfection of my plan!

If their bike riding friends started disappearing, FLAPS starts selling kill markings, and JC Whitney started selling a 'Bike Catcher' that looks like a bush guard, with spikes.... well..



Armed traffic is respectful traffic.


M

QUOTE (joe buckle @ Apr 26 2005, 04:34 PM)

I didn't go on the run, but, i had to drive my SUV up to the ranch.  Alot of bikers were simply taking over the road.  lots of blind corners.  So, your choices are:  pass them and risk hitting someone head on.........slam on the brakes and risk having someone who is tailgating slam into you.   I have no problem sharing the road.   the bikers in that area seem to have a real problem with sharing though.   And i'm driving speed limit or less in a big F###'n SUV.   My good friend is an ER doctor and has a name for that type of biker.  Same thing goes for the motorcycles that zip between cars on the freeway or busy streets.  he calls them "organ donors"

Yes, there are dorks on both sides. I offer no defense for cyclists who disregard the law. Same with car drivers. Fair enough. But in car/bike accidents, whether he's right or wrong, legal or illegal, the CYCLIST ALWAYS LOSES. That's all I'm saying. The last thing I need is for some homicidal driver to make my kids orphans because he got pissed off at some spandex weenie and takes it out on me. And killing someone might just ruin your day too.

TonyAKAVW, on some twisy mountain roads, I can drop cars easily (without crossing the centerline.) It's damn fun. You might be surprised how fast a racing bike can go.

CptTripps, it's "Mr. Spandex Weenie" to you.

Duffster, bikes have a right to the road that is older than motorists'. Remember, bikes came out around the end of the 19th century, and had to fight horses and carriages for a right to the road. Then cars came along. Who pays gas taxes has nothing to do with it. Bicycles are grandfathered in. Like it or not, it's the law.

redshift, one of my old riding buddies always carried a gun on rides. He was a PTSD Vietnam vet, a former door gunner. He unholstered it on more than one occasion to "impress" some tough-talking dickheads. He also shot two dogs that chased him. Like you said....

QUOTE (Reiche @ Apr 26 2005, 06:45 PM)

But in car/bike accidents, whether he's right or wrong, legal or illegal, the CYCLIST ALWAYS LOSES.

Doesn't that mean he should be the one being careful? Knowing he's the one that comes out on the short end of the stick (so to speak)?

QUOTE (Reiche @ Apr 26 2005, 07:45 PM)

TonyAKAVW, on some twisy mountain roads, I can drop cars easily (without crossing the centerline.) It's damn fun. You might be surprised how fast a racing bike can go. redshift, one of my old riding buddies always carried a gun on rides. He was a PTSD Vietnam vet, a former door gunner. He unholstered it on more than one occasion to "impress" some tough-talking dickheads. He also shot two dogs that chased him. Like you said....

They not only share the roads with autos and trucks, they also share the same laws as well. If you are passing cars that are doing the speed limit, then you shall suffer the same ticket or accident as well. My bet is the car or truck will win that one hands down. So it all roots back to common sense. If you dont have any, you will be killed on that bike. Sorry, its just how it is.

Discharging a firearm in city limits is not legal by anyone other than law enforcement. If he is just a normal citizen, he is breaking the law and should be punished as you or I would be. Retired military doesnt mean diddly in that case.

As an avid bicyclist, as well as lane-splitting sportbiker, and porsche owner, I wonder how the term spandex weenie came about. It takes great physical conditioning to tackle mountains on a bike. On the other hand, what level of conditioning is required to just drive a car? I think there are many more weenies behind the wheel!

QUOTE (markb @ Apr 26 2005, 06:55 PM)

QUOTE (Reiche @ Apr 26 2005, 06:45 PM) But in car/bike accidents, whether he's right or wrong, legal or illegal, the CYCLIST ALWAYS LOSES. Doesn't that mean he should be the one being careful? Knowing he's the one that comes out on the short end of the stick (so to speak)?

Yes. But often, as in my two car/bike incidents, it doesn't matter how careful you are.

QUOTE (skline @ Apr 26 2005, 07:13 PM)

They not only share the roads with autos and trucks, they also share the same laws as well. If you are passing cars that are doing the speed limit, then you shall suffer the same ticket or accident as well. My bet is the car or truck will win that one hands down. So it all roots back to common sense. If you dont have any, you will be killed on that bike. Sorry, its just how it is.

No apology necessary, no argument here. I would guess most cyclists know traffic laws as well as most drivers do (which appears to be not very well.) Some traffic laws do apply differently to bicycles than cars. A bicycle is not a motor vehicle, nor a pedestrian, but something in between.

QUOTE (skline @ Apr 26 2005, 07:13 PM)

Discharging a firearm in city limits is not legal by anyone other than law enforcement. If he is just a normal citizen, he is breaking the law and should be punished as you or I would be. Retired military doesnt mean diddly in that case.

Don't worry, it didn't happen anywhere near any city. It was way out on an empty Utah country road. And he did possess a concealed carry permit, which is ridiculously easy to get in Utah.

I apologize. I didn't intend to hijack Slits' great story thread. I just got a little rankled by the call for vehicular homicide. Whatever the dickhead cyclists on your great drive were doing, I doubt it was a capital crime. Drive nice. The end.

Wheres the love for the cop that pulled SLITS over? He had to deal with this:

QUOTE (CptTripps @ Apr 26 2005, 04:28 PM)

QUOTE (anthony @ Apr 26 2005, 06:49 PM) QUOTE "You did a 360 at the top of the hill, out of control" I want to know who is actually admitting to the spin out! ::: Raising Hand ::: That would have been Brando and I. We were into a turn, and a spandex-wheenie was on the wrong side of the road trying to be all fast. It was 360, or punt the biker into next week.

What Doug said

That shirt rocks... see...


M

I wasn't calling for people to kill people on bikes...I was just saying who did the 360, and WHY. If that guy was 5sec earlier up the hill, this would be an entirely different thread right now.

I'll call him a spandex weenie because he was short-cutting up a twisty road on the WRONG SIDE! If you have the lege to go up a twisty hill, do it on the RIGHT side of the double-yellow line!

if caltran got busy and cut mulholland in to 4 lanes with a center turn thrown in, the cyclists wouldn't be an issue. my first thought was "who's getting the ticket?" as we came around the corner. you skated on that one ron. i figured for sure it was going to be the grey bar hotel for you.

k

QUOTE (Reiche @ Apr 26 2005, 10:43 PM)

QUOTE (markb @ Apr 26 2005, 06:55 PM) QUOTE (Reiche @ Apr 26 2005, 06:45 PM) But in car/bike accidents, whether he's right or wrong, legal or illegal, the CYCLIST ALWAYS LOSES. Doesn't that mean he should be the one being careful? Knowing he's the one that comes out on the short end of the stick (so to speak)? Yes. But often, as in my two car/bike incidents, it doesn't matter how careful you are. QUOTE (skline @ Apr 26 2005, 07:13 PM) They not only share the roads with autos and trucks, they also share the same laws as well. If you are passing cars that are doing the speed limit, then you shall suffer the same ticket or accident as well. My bet is the car or truck will win that one hands down. So it all roots back to common sense. If you dont have any, you will be killed on that bike. Sorry, its just how it is. No apology necessary, no argument here. I would guess most cyclists know traffic laws as well as most drivers do (which appears to be not very well.) Some traffic laws do apply differently to bicycles than cars. A bicycle is not a motor vehicle, nor a pedestrian, but something in between. QUOTE (skline @ Apr 26 2005, 07:13 PM) Discharging a firearm in city limits is not legal by anyone other than law enforcement. If he is just a normal citizen, he is breaking the law and should be punished as you or I would be. Retired military doesnt mean diddly in that case. Don't worry, it didn't happen anywhere near any city. It was way out on an empty Utah country road. And he did possess a concealed carry permit, which is ridiculously easy to get in Utah. I apologize. I didn't intend to hijack Slits' great story thread. I just got a little rankled by the call for vehicular homicide. Whatever the dickhead cyclists on your great drive were doing, I doubt it was a capital crime. Drive nice. The end.

thread Hi-jack

QUOTE (rhodyguy @ Apr 27 2005, 07:29 AM)

if caltran got busy and cut mulholland in to 4 lanes with a center turn thrown in, the cyclists wouldn't be an issue. my first thought was "who's getting the ticket?" as we came around the corner. you skated on that one ron. i figured for sure it was going to be the grey bar hotel for you. k

What I said to the Cop was true....I had no excuse.

I was not intending to harm or even scare any bicyclists...I was watching carefully for them. The ticket was issued on a section of the road with no bicyclists or houses, just white picket fences at the time. At all times in the run, if there was a cyclist I would straddle the yellow line to give them room (another expensive ticket if caught).

This tread was intended to be a "funny" about my misfortune of being at an elevated level of exerubence in obtaining a poker hand that was worthless. And yes, after consuming mass quantities of Tequila, the spandex laden crowd blinded me...nothing like looking at a parade of MikeZ's asses to deteroriate your eyesight...which is the primary reason I didn't see the Cop

So, in my opinion, they can have the road....they may think they are fit, but will probably die of a heart attack and inflated ego due to the spandex squeezing the blood outta their bodies and sending it directly to their feeble/egotistical brains.

And as far as the effort and level of fittness to drive a car....After the track session I was happy to hear some of the participants complain of sore arms and upper chest...from the effort to hold a car at speed on the racing line. If you think because you pedal a bicycle that you are the better of the human race, I think your brain has slightly miscalculated the case.

Oh, BTW....my daddy can beat up your daddy........

Slits out!

Ron,

Call the number on the ticket and ask if they have a "plea in abayance" (sic) program. If they do (which most do) they will hold your "plea" in "abayance" for a period of 6 months to 3 years. If you're clean during the specified time period you get no mention of it on your record. I found out about this when I got a ticket for 140 in Indiana.

It's worked everytime for me. You pay the fine but the insurance company doesn't know about it

Thanks Eric...will do....Hate to spoil my clean record (of being an asshole).