For your entertainment and newbie education, I offer some frequently used classified ad terms and their corresponding translations. Yes, I am guilty myself of using a couple of these over the years (who hasn't?). I'm sure the list will be expanded!
"Driver Quality" - A part I removed from my driver because it is worn out and unpresentable.
"Was running when parked" - All cars ran before they were parked, even those with catastrophic engine failure.
"Could use a re-spray" - A full blown, high cost paint job will be needed.
"Rust Free" - I am not charging extra for the rust.
"Tastefully Custom" - Yeah, if your taste is garish, loud, and pimpish.
"Best Offer" - Should read "Best I Will Accept". Your offer means nothing to me.
"O.E.M." - Other East Asian Manufacturer a.k.a. "Junk"
"Professionally Maintained" - A Car maintained by a doctor or lawyer by taking it to incompetent rip-off "Import Shops".
"Needs TLC" - A car that has been neglected for the past ten years and will require thousands of dollars to get back on the road.
Full Version: Bogus Classified Terms Translated
Funny,
There is a company that makes parts that uses OEM before the part number.
Bingo
There is a company that makes parts that uses OEM before the part number.
Bingo
These are mine 
"Fresh oil change" - Last guy low balled because oil was black.
"Runs Great!" - Didn't used to but I finally fixed it after the last guy low balled.
"New brakes" - replaced pads with the cheapest at Autozone.
"Clean" - I just washed and vacuumed it for the first time since I bought it.
"Tinted" - Limo tinted all windows so you can't see out at night.
"Easy fix" - If you are a professional, too complicated for anyone I know to do.
"Just needs" - Car is a POS that I'm not putting anymore money into, not even the $25 part to make it run right.
"Check engine light on" - Won't pass smog, I don't have money to fix, been parked for weeks and HOA is on my ass.
"Mechanics Special" - I can't lie... I've beat the crap out of it since I bought it.
"Oil changed every 3000 miles" - I'm lying out my ass because I'm dumb enough to think you will believe it.
"Fresh oil change" - Last guy low balled because oil was black.
"Runs Great!" - Didn't used to but I finally fixed it after the last guy low balled.
"New brakes" - replaced pads with the cheapest at Autozone.
"Clean" - I just washed and vacuumed it for the first time since I bought it.
"Tinted" - Limo tinted all windows so you can't see out at night.
"Easy fix" - If you are a professional, too complicated for anyone I know to do.
"Just needs" - Car is a POS that I'm not putting anymore money into, not even the $25 part to make it run right.
"Check engine light on" - Won't pass smog, I don't have money to fix, been parked for weeks and HOA is on my ass.
"Mechanics Special" - I can't lie... I've beat the crap out of it since I bought it.
"Oil changed every 3000 miles" - I'm lying out my ass because I'm dumb enough to think you will believe it.
What about the classic "lady driven"? I could never figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
QUOTE(Ansbacher @ Aug 1 2017, 11:20 AM) 
Yes, I am guilty myself of using a couple of these over the years (who hasn't?).
Not me.
Here are some funny car ads my friends sent me that you guys might like 
Click to view attachment
Click to view attachment
Click to view attachment
Click to view attachment
Kijiji, our version of CL, cars for sale translation guide:
Needs water pump: Blown head gasket.
Needs radiator: Blown head gasket.
Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.
Great commuter car: Blown head gasket.
Runs a little warm: Blown head gasket.
Idles rough: Blown head gasket.
Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.
Drips a little water: Blown head gasket.
Smokes on startup: Blown head gasket.
Mechanic's special: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel. And blown head gasket.
Fixer-upper: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel and window cranks. And blown head gasket.
Needs head gasket: Engine block in several pieces
One of X made: Tercel Black Hawk, or Daewoo Nubira wagon in Barney Purple.
Rat Rod: Ugly.
One of a kind: Very ugly.
Call between (times): Will not answer, will not return calls.
Classic: Rusty.
Slight rust: Even tires and glass are rusting.
Ferrari: Fiero-based kit car.
Lamborghini: Fiero-based kit car.
Porsche 917: Air-cooled Beetle-based kit car.
Maserati: Chrysler TC
Lotus: Isuzu I-Mark.
Corolla: Prizm.
Needs battery: Wiring harness destroyed in electrical fire.
Must sell today: Will take six weeks to respond to contact attempts.
Have all receipts: Has 1996 receipt for fan belt.
Bill of sale only: Stolen.
Needs water pump: Blown head gasket.
Needs radiator: Blown head gasket.
Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.
Great commuter car: Blown head gasket.
Runs a little warm: Blown head gasket.
Idles rough: Blown head gasket.
Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.
Drips a little water: Blown head gasket.
Smokes on startup: Blown head gasket.
Mechanic's special: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel. And blown head gasket.
Fixer-upper: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel and window cranks. And blown head gasket.
Needs head gasket: Engine block in several pieces
One of X made: Tercel Black Hawk, or Daewoo Nubira wagon in Barney Purple.
Rat Rod: Ugly.
One of a kind: Very ugly.
Call between (times): Will not answer, will not return calls.
Classic: Rusty.
Slight rust: Even tires and glass are rusting.
Ferrari: Fiero-based kit car.
Lamborghini: Fiero-based kit car.
Porsche 917: Air-cooled Beetle-based kit car.
Maserati: Chrysler TC
Lotus: Isuzu I-Mark.
Corolla: Prizm.
Needs battery: Wiring harness destroyed in electrical fire.
Must sell today: Will take six weeks to respond to contact attempts.
Have all receipts: Has 1996 receipt for fan belt.
Bill of sale only: Stolen.
Starts right up: Currently on fire
Keep going, it is getting better all the time
"Low miles for its age" = replace every rubber bit
"Never raced" = at a track.
"Never raced" = at a track.
No rust= floors and trunk missing - and blown head gasket 
rare= this is the only one with all of the aftermarket crap stuck on with hot glue.
rare= this is the only one with all of the aftermarket crap stuck on with hot glue.
Rare Color Combination: Ugly
Never driven in the rain: Not driveable
Should cleanup nicely: Not really I already tried
Typical Porsche oil leaks: Will need to add to oil on most short trips
Rust Free: You can't see any in the pictures provided
Not in a hurry to sell: "F'ckin A" I am desperate
Want it to go to a good home: Who ever pays the most money gets it
Always Garaged: On blocks most of its life
Growing Family Need Bigger Car: Now even my kids want me to get rid of it
Never driven in the rain: Not driveable
Should cleanup nicely: Not really I already tried
Typical Porsche oil leaks: Will need to add to oil on most short trips
Rust Free: You can't see any in the pictures provided
Not in a hurry to sell: "F'ckin A" I am desperate
Want it to go to a good home: Who ever pays the most money gets it
Always Garaged: On blocks most of its life
Growing Family Need Bigger Car: Now even my kids want me to get rid of it
Previously owned by "little old lady" .
That never maintained! Funny there's a commercial showing little old lady that drives crazy!
That never maintained! Funny there's a commercial showing little old lady that drives crazy!
Don't knock it. The old lady thing works. My wife got premium dollars for her low mileage 2008 R32 because it was driven by a little old retired school teacher.
Greg W
Greg W
QUOTE(90quattrocoupe @ Aug 2 2017, 01:27 PM)
Don't knock it. The old lady thing works. My wife got premium dollars for her low mileage 2008 R32 because it was driven by a little old retired school teacher.
Greg W
I'm just saying!
One for Porsche and VW...
Absolutely no rust on the rear of the body = rear end is totally covered in oily goo.
Absolutely no rust on the rear of the body = rear end is totally covered in oily goo.
"Won't last long" -- Engine will blow up or wheels fall off on the drive home
Almost new !
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