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Joe Ricard
Iv's been raising hell over there and then stumbled onto something more humorous that the 2006 solo rules.


You know you're a racer when:

- The first thing that come to your mind when you hear "wings" is something to PREVENT flight.

- You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to where the depth wear bars are showing.

- When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.

- When you hear 'overcooked it', instead of food you think 'lost time in a corner'.

- You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.

- You thoroughly enjoy pulling away from the tailgater behind you on highway off-ramps.

- You walk proper lines through the grocery store or office.

- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires that could have been purchased.

- You have car parts in your cubicle at work.

- You have a separate part of your drawer for 'garage clothes'.

- You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other month or so.

- You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.

- You always late apex the ramp and try to pass a few cars coming out.

- Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.

- You can't stand understeer.

- You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 400 miles to a race.

- You hate driving the 7 miles to work but you will gladly drive 400 miles to a race.

- You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.

- You save broken car parts as "mementos".

- Highway forays often include just brushing the curbs as you apex the on-ramps perfectly....

- You enjoy driving through snowy, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.

- You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a fun limiter"

- You have racing shops programmed on your cell phone.


- You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.

- You've slalomed the cones in a construction zone.
ClayPerrine
WHEN I AM AN OLD SPORTSCAR OWNER



When I am an old sports car owner...
I shall wear nomex and sunscreen,
And carry an old helmet with me.
And I shall spend my social security on racing fuel and tires,
And sit in my garage
And listen to hot engines tick as they cool.
I will sneak out in the middle of a summer night.
And race my old car through the countryside
Ignoring speed limits
If my old bones will allow.
And when people come to call, I will smile and nod
As I walk past the gardens to the garage
And show them my freshly waxed fender.
I will wrench and sweat and wear grease on my face
as if it were a jewel.
A I will be an embarrassment to all,
Who have not yet found the peace in being free
And the joy of a four wheel drift
in a old friend made of metal and rubber and plastic
Who will wait forever
For the kind of person I will be
When I am old.



An original idea adapted from the poem "When I am old I will wear purple".


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