Got a close family member that lost his parents not too long ago (old age, lived a great life)


His brother has taken over as the excective of state (correct term???), he has a few sisters(4) as well....

Problem is is that the brother and 2 sisters are gaining access to the bank accounts, the property and no one but them is really knowing how much and where the money is going (in thier damn greedy hands)

Parents net value supposed to be in the low 7 digit area, the brother and sisters have for years sucked money from thier parents and had them buy homes for them in the LA area, my friend works his @ss off and never asked for money from his parents...


The reason I'm pissed off is that my friend works 2 jobs to make ends meet, is getting up there in age (55) and won't put up a fight to get what should be fairly coming to him. The
Will is being read this weekend, but we have a feeling he'll get just a "token" amount in the $50K range when his other siblings will be walking away with close to a million or so when all the property is sold off and the multiple bank accounts have been cleared out.

We know the Will mentions a specific bank account for each sibling, the issue is is that the mother had multiple accounts for herself that keep popping up yet no mention of what to do with the funds...so, good old brother and sister will be keeping it for sure....


He won't put up a fight and it just irks us to no end seeing his own brothers and sisters screwing him over

This is in California if that makes a difference on whether or not we can make waves on his behalf.....

Probate attorney, only thing I can think of.

Mixed family, my dad died first, step mom died 14 months later. step bro & sis got conservetorship and everything else. My sister and I called my dad's good friend,(lawyer) They were in control and completely within their rights. Just another one of lifes slaps in the face. Cherish the memories and move on. Funny, a couple of years later I tried to make nice and stopped by the step bro's business. He was cold and distant. I extended my hand in friendship and never looked back. For his greed and selfish act in denying my sister and me a share and final gift from my dad, He will carry his shame the rest of his life. Do you think he cares?

( this is in washington) i was the pr for my fathers estate. the named personal representative of the estate has a fiduciary responsibility to see that the terms of the will are met. before the will is finalized in court, there must be a statisfaction of heirs submitted to the court. are things dif in cal? your friend should be in counseling if the grief has his judgement clouded. he needs to get pissed off, get an attorney, contest the actions of the pr (the estate will have to pay for it). the court could appoint a new pr, to act in the best interests of all parties. the pr must provide complete accounting regarding the monies in the estate if demand by other heirs. the pr has to go before a judge, and swear under oath that they are the pr and will fullfill the terms of the will. your friend must not sign anything!! and needs to speak with an attorney. these matters can shatter families, but your friend has to look beyond his immediate feelings, and consider the future. specificly heirs he might have, both now and in the future. i wonder if his/her siblings are jointly named on any saving, check, or investment accounts? again, your friend should consult an attorney.

k

QUOTE (Mueller @ Feb 3 2006, 02:47 PM)

Got a close family member that lost his parents not too long ago (old age, lived a great life) His brother has taken over as the excective of state (correct term???), he has a few sisters(4) as well.... Problem is is that the brother and 2 sisters are gaining access to the bank accounts, the property and no one but them is really knowing how much and where the money is going (in thier damn greedy hands)

Mike,
I'll be home tonight - give me a call.
-Ben

Probate attorney and fast!!!

A will is a legal document and the executor is only responsible to ensure that the decisions made in the will are carried out. If the deceased wants the kids to split the money equally, then that will happen - regardless of what the executor wishes. If the deceased only wants to give your friend a token amount, then that is what will happen as well. Assets not mentioned in the will should go into testate, and most juristictions have laws that govern how these are divided. Testate tends to divide assets equally if there are siblings involved. If your friend feels like he is getting shafted, then he should get a lawyer and contest the will.

QUOTE

He won't put up a fight and it just irks us to no end seeing his own brothers and sisters screwing him over

No need to put up a fight. If he's happy with life more money or fighting with family isnt the way to go. Some people are happy with what they have, some think money will solve there problems. But that's just my view. Others may differ

QUOTE (riverman @ Feb 3 2006, 03:32 PM)

A will is a legal document and the executor is only responsible to ensure that the decisions made in the will are carried out. If the deceased wants the kids to split the money equally, then that will happen - regardless of what the executor wishes. If the deceased only wants to give your friend a token amount, then that is what will happen as well. Assets not mentioned in the will should go into testate, and most juristictions have laws that govern how these are divided. Testate tends to divide assets equally if there are siblings involved. If your friend feels like he is getting shafted, then he should get a lawyer and contest the will.

Except he doesn't feel like he's getting shafted, yeah? That's a hard one. You can't make him fight with his sisters/brother. It's a sad case, but I'm not sure what you can do for him if he's not on board.

My parents just got divorced. My dad had no interest in fighting with my mom at all. It took some really tough love to get him to make a move. The divorce was finalized last week, he got everything.

The point was, if he doesn't want to fight, then he can't win, whether whats going on is right or wrong.

QUOTE (736conver @ Feb 3 2006, 04:36 PM)

QUOTE He won't put up a fight and it just irks us to no end seeing his own brothers and sisters screwing him over   No need to put up a fight. If he's happy with life more money or fighting with family isnt the way to go. Some people are happy with what they have, some think money will solve there problems. But that's just my view. Others may differ

His view is he'd rather see his brother/sisters get the money than "any" amount going to a lawyer...

what hurts is knowing how he lives compared to his siblings who live high on the hog 'cuase they've always had money thrown at them from the parents....

I know lifes not fair, but when you see someone you like and respect getting shafted whether they agree to it or not, it still bothers us......

my father's will had a codicil that stated "if any heir should contest the terms of will of my father's name, that heir shall not benefit from the will nor share in the estate". things may vary from state to state, i don't know. the attorney that walked me through the proceedings had never seen that. he said it would sure make things go smoother, in some cases, if the codicil was there. people can wind up in strange emotional state after the lose of loved ones. once the dust settles there are no do overs. you don't get to go back and say "gee judge, i don't know what i was thinking about..."

k

QUOTE (rhodyguy @ Feb 3 2006, 04:47 PM)

my father's will had a codicil that stated "if any heir should contest the terms of will of my father's name, that heir shall not benefit from the will nor share in the estate". things may vary from state to state, i don't know. the attorney that walked me through the proceedings had never seen that. he said it would sure make things go smoother, in some cases, if the codicil was there. k

damn....that is tough...but I like it well, as long as it's fair or works in my favor.....

i guess one good thing about this is that Sherryl and I are going to make sure we have a good plan and will drawn up while we are still young and now have the twins to think about in case something happens to us

Here it's called being the executor.

I don't know how it works in Cali but here there are set rules, upon death all accounts are frozen (except to pay "real" bills that must be proven) and the will needs to go through probate. Probate is a legal process that the courts do to say the will is legal, up to date and that the correct executor is assigned. The executorships is a paid position (about 4% plus expenses of the total estate) but is classed as taxable income. All of the funds (property and possession must be assigned a dollar value and liquidated) must have a full accounting as to all expenses and disbursements. In the end he will have to sign off on the inheritance and in a case that misdeeds are suspected a forensic accounting can be demanded before he signs off. The executor is 100% liable as to the final accounting, if any misappropriation is found they can be in deep doo-doo.

About the only area that you could steal is personal possessions, if they had any valuables your friend should make a list and ask what became of these items. Basically it is theft if items were taken without permission, but sometimes this can be hard to prove.

it has nothing to do with what's fair mike. it was the terms my dad set forth. it had more to do with what his wishes were. some heir that steps forward and says "no way, that's not fair, i'm not buying it, i'm going to get an attorney and contest it" does so at their own peril. my dad's will was very specific with regards to personal property and the finance matters.

k

My (limited) understanding is in California any estate valued over 100,000 should go through probate court in which the executor must be prepared to account and report on his/hers activities. But none of this helps much unless your friend is willing stand up to his family.

QUOTE (Grimstead @ Feb 3 2006, 08:02 PM)

My (limited) understanding is in California any estate valued over 100,000 should go through probate court in which the executor must be prepared to account and report on his/hers activities. But none of this helps much unless your friend is willing stand up to his family.

Here I believe it anything over $25,000...or maybe it was $50,000, had to go to probate. You "can" do your own accounting but for $250-500 you would be nuts to take the chance of screwing it up.

As I said the executor is 100% liable and the benifactors must sign off the estate in the end.

I can't blame him if he doesn't want to be like his siblings. I always said when the time came I would would walk away from it all rather than lose a family over money. Luckily there were no problems with my sisters.

I'm not a lawyer but due to my own experiences with deceased relatives, I have some experience with CA estate planning, wills, trusts etc.

Who is "reading the will" to all concerned? I assume it's the most recent decedent's attorney. If your friend is the executor of his parent's estate then he should be very familar with the terms of the will. Assuming there was not a living trust in place, there should be more than one will too; one for each parent. "Usually", the first to die wills everything to the surviving spouse and that spouse when he/she dies wills it to his/her relatives. Of course there are permutations to this if all of the children did not share the same parents; i.e. the first to die could will assets to his/her children from another marraige. Regarding how his parent's financial matters were handled (or mishandled) previously, there's likely nothing that can be done if he does not wish to pursue it; IMHO this is a smart move on his part. Your friend will be able to draw executor fees when the estate is probated. If I was him I would become very familar with his responsibilities as executor. In the extreme, if he desires, he can also decline to serve as executor and ask that another person be appointed.

It's too late now, but if the estate was valued in the low seven figures, there should have been a living trust in place to save the estate the expense/delay/hassle of probate and to lessen the tax bite (in some cases).

Only child.
CCL

Sadly, it's the good guys and gals that finish last on earth.

Whatever the will says is what will be.

However, it may be a good idea to have someone watch the parents home while the will is being read to the surviving members.
More than a few times have I heard that durring a will reading or the funeral that realitives have someone go to the home while its vacant and remove wanted belongings. :shame:
Just a precaution.

Are you sure that there is no living trust? If the brother is the executor, it sounds like a living trust. If they go through probate the lawyers will get everything anyway!!! My mother-in-law passed away a little over a year ago and my wife was the executor for the living trust. She split everything evenly with her siblings. Everything went smoothly....no lawyers. I would think that the case of a living trust gives the executor the most opportunity to screw the others as there are no lawyers and no judge. I think you need more info. Good luck to your friend.

Bill

QUOTE (Borderline @ Feb 3 2006, 10:06 PM)

Are you sure that there is no living trust?

update...yes, there is a living trust...the "friend" is my father-in-law, just didn't want the wife seeing this thread 1st without me telling her

good news, things are going a little more smoothly than we thought it would, the lawyer is doing his job to ensure things will be split as evenly as possible.....some of the other family members might be getting into a little hot water, rumors of them raiding bank accounts before the reading of the will/trust and them not knowing beforehand that the lawyer will be on the lookout for cr@p like that.....

Instead of selling thier property, they'll split it evenly, nice thing about that is that my father-in-law should be getting a really cool old Victorian house in the Oakland hills with a view of the Bay Area.....needs a bunch of work to remodel it (not in liveable condition right now), but I'm looking forward to it, I enjoyed working on our Victorian style house we had a few years ago

ah, the old "satisfaction of heir" syndrome. let the sweating begin.

k

QUOTE

....might be getting into a little hot water....

More like deep shit

I had a discussion about this type of thing last night. I grew up with Skip Dorsey - grandson of Tommy Dorsey. His father (Tom Dorsey Jr) was the famous band leaders first born. However, Tommy Dorsey remaried twice and was not the best about keeping in touch with those that didn't currently live with him. When he died, his current wife got everthing. She and her two kids blew it all - even sold off his trombones and all of the memorabilia that they had (remember, Sinatra and Buddy Rich got their starts with Tommy Dorsey). This stuff would be worth a fortune today.

Skips dad recently bought a Buddy Rich calf skin drum head with the "TD" logo from a collector. This drum head used to hang above his fathers desk when he was a little kid. Kinda crazy.