There was a request for a thread on stupid stuff done while working on a 914.

I will start......


I had my six up on my lift working on the rear suspension. I remember looking at the clock and it was about 6:50pm. I stood up to do something (I can't remember what now) and the next thing I know, I am sitting on the floor and my head hurts. I touch my head and I am bleeding. Seems I raised up under one of the rack arms and cracked my head open. I look at the clock and it shows 7:55 PM.

At that point, I decided to call it a night.


When I told Betty about it, she had a fit! Her response was "What if you had been holding a cutting torch!!!". Now she insists on checking on me every so often when I am in the garage and it gets quiet for a long time.

Ok... Who's next?

I was working on my car and my elbow hit my beverage which almost fell over but I caught it.

LOL! Nothing that dramatic. When I was moving into a place in Sacramento, I had a fuel injector that was stuck on. I stalled the car and restarted it. I blew a 8 foot flame out the back end. My friend (sitting in the u haul) swears that he thought the car was going to blow! It didn't help that it was 2 in the morning and the guy who lives across the street was CHP watching us move in.
Chris

Ok, here's a couple I can think of at the moment.. I'll add more as I think of/do them..

1. While disassembling a roller for restoration/v8 conversion (still in progress) I went to remove the rear trunk torsion bar springs. I wasn't planning on resuing them, so I just decided to unbolt them and let parts fly.. and fly they did! The little clamp bit went right through where the rear window goes (I had just removed it 15 minutes before) and just barely OVER the windshield (which was still in place). It bounced around the other end of the garage (missing the window) and I still haven't found it.

2. While disassembling a rear shock/spring setup, I didn't have a spring compressor handy. I played with it a bit and it didn't seem to be under all that much tension... But it was enough, and launched the nut, washers and spring hat all over the place.. Scared Sean and Herb too! I got out the spring compressor for the other one..

Screwing a tapping metal screw thru the positive battery cable.....

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt...

Just getting ready to finish setting up a crank fire ignition on a motor I was putting in. Was pulling the distributor and discovered, only too late, that the oiling washer under the distributor drive shaft was still stuck to the shaft. At least it -was- untill I had the shaft almost out of the engine. . All the way in...

Wound up splitting the motor after repeated attempts to recover the washer failed.

Still don't have the motor back in the car yet....

-Josh2

I had my dizzy 180 degrees off and shot a flame about 6 feet. COOL!!!

stupid thing: wearing loose fitting sweat pants while working on the 914.....

incedent report: using angle grinder (locked to "on" position) with wire wheel attachment, grinder kicks back, wheel "grabs" sweats and attacks the family jewels

took a few solid seconds to shut off the grinder due to it whipping around....

QUOTE (bondo @ Mar 23 2006, 10:00 AM)

While disassembling a rear shock/spring setup, I didn't have a spring compressor handy. I played with it a bit and it didn't seem to be under all that much tension... But it was enough, and launched the nut, washers and spring hat all over the place..

usually not a problem on the 914 as the springs are not under much pressure, but i did that once with a front shock assembly of a '74 super beetle ...

i had the shock/spring in a vice and i'm using a big wrench to take off the top nut, didn't think i needed spring compressors ...
then, while turning, i hear a loud bang and the nut, retainer and spring are gone!
i look up and there's a big hole in the garage roof, the spring went right through the 5/8 drywall and was stuck in the insulation!
it missed my face by about 5" and it went so fast that i didn't even see it. that could have been *ugly* ...

Andy

QUOTE (Mueller @ Mar 23 2006, 10:15 AM)

stupid thing: wearing loose fitting sweat pants while working on the 914..... incedent report: using angle grinder (locked to "on" position) with wire wheel attachment, grinder kicks back, wheel "grabs" sweats and attacks the family jewels took a few solid seconds to shut off the grinder due to it whipping around....

stood over the carb on a 914/V8 and poured gas into it while Brad cranked over the engine...resulting backfire out of the carb removed hair from one arm and partial removal of eyebrows

I looked at my car one day and I said to myself, it would be alot faster if it was lighter.

If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't.
I could of cured cancer with the time I have invested in this thing.

Paul

QUOTE (SirAndy @ Mar 23 2006, 11:18 AM)

QUOTE (bondo @ Mar 23 2006, 10:00 AM) While disassembling a rear shock/spring setup, I didn't have a spring compressor handy. I played with it a bit and it didn't seem to be under all that much tension... But it was enough, and launched the nut, washers and spring hat all over the place.. usually not a problem on the 914 as the springs are not under much pressure, but i did that once with a front shock assembly of a '74 super beetle ... i had the shock/spring in a vice and i'm using a big wrench to take off the top nut, didn't think i needed spring compressors ... then, while turning, i hear a loud bang and the nut, retainer and spring are gone! i look up and there's a big hole in the garage roof, the spring went right through the 5/8 drywall and was stuck in the insulation! it missed my face by about 5" and it went so fast that i didn't even see it. that could have been *ugly* ... Andy

I think the reason it was so much pressure was because they were bilstein shocks with the adjustable perch set second from the top... I think you've still got me beat though.

My kids were driving me crazy with croquet mallets and balls in the garage, so I snagged them and put them up on a shelf hanging from the ceiling over my 914 V8 project. One of the balls rolled out and WHAM.
So I bought a used windshield for $20 and 3 or 4 years later, when the car was ready for the road, I installed the replacement. After fitting it, I cracked it by pressing the edges with my thumb. A $320 goof.
Ed

I too have a sweat pants story

car on jackstands ( of course ) I had the rear wheel off welding in the stiffening kit with my legs out in front of me and under the car .. well the sparks from the welder casaded down on to my lap ... through the sweat pants .... well lets just say grilled hootus ..... only once boys , only once

All the way under the car, lying on my back, car is not jacked up very far (old jackstands were too short) under the engine, using grinder to clean up rust at rear firewall. Sparks are flying and they find a few globs of old road tar and muck soaked with old fuel and TAH DAH, tiny little fire inches from my face. Crab walked out from under the car at 90 mph. Got extinguisher, took care of business. Changed shorts. Back to work, after hose down and clean up.

QUOTE

Stupid Things done while working on a 914., C'mon..... Fess Up!

Bought a second one...

QUOTE (Eric_Shea @ Mar 23 2006, 12:29 PM)

QUOTE Stupid Things done while working on a 914., C'mon..... Fess Up! Bought a second one...

I agree...


BTW.. I am trying to convince Betty that we need a third 914......

QUOTE (Eric_Shea @ Mar 23 2006, 11:29 AM)

QUOTE Stupid Things done while working on a 914., C'mon..... Fess Up! Bought a second one...

Me too! And a third!

While replacing the mastercylinder, I thought it would be a good idea to "swab out" the ends of the disconnected brake lines with a Q-tip (the concours-retentive aspect rearing its ugly head) I got that Q-tip stuck so far in that line, I think it took longer to get that swab out than to r&r the m/c.

We did that one Mike.. lol

asside from bruising myself and some minor cuts.. I was coming in for a break, got a glass and was putting ice in the cup, pushed it a little too hard with my left hand on the dispenser on our fridge, broke the glass, glass cut my thumb to the bone, full thumb wide.. 6 hours later, I saw the doctor..

7 or 8 stitches, I cant remember. (counting the stitch scars on my my hand, looks like 8) Funny thing was, It was right on the joint, I could bend my thumb and see my bone

Im not a blood person.

I dunno. But one of the local guys didn't say anything when I hopped under his car with a sawzall and started cutting crap out from under it.

Who did the stupid there?

It all started with a broken plastic trunk roller...
And a PP search for replacements -
"Update your rear trunks plastic rollers, with our metal rollers and never worry about them wearing out again." Cool simple enough.
Or so I thought. Came apart easy. But putting it back together
was a biotch I never would have guessed that installing the torsion bar required that much force.
Anyway, I made a tool of of a piece of s/s tubing
and it was working pretty well. I got one side done.
When I was doin' the other side I was using all of my strength to
move the torsion bar - the tool slipped - & it hit my thumb so hard
my thumb split open with a nasty gash & then it started to bleed
and bleed. I wrapped a towel around my thumb & finished installing the
metal roller. Never again!!! No wonder they sell "trunk shocks"
Whoz UP Next -

QUOTE (sk8kat1 @ Mar 23 2006, 12:29 PM)

I too have a sweat pants story car on jackstands ( of course ) I had the rear wheel off welding in the stiffening kit with my legs out in front of me and under the car .. well the sparks from the welder casaded down on to my lap ... through the sweat pants .... well lets just say grilled hootus ..... only once boys , only once

Did exactly the same thing while welding in front sway bar mounts for my wife's (at the time girlfriend's) 914.

Boy.. do those burns take a LONG time to heal. Got lots of sympathy from her though. After all, it was for HER car. (And I have NEVER let her forget it!)

while working on my 914 I alway's thought of how stupid I was to buy the car. But now that it is running i think it wasn't that stupid

Where's that chopstick story when you need it?

.... I plan on doing more work on the teener this weekend lets see what I can come up with after the fact....

One time I had one up on jackstands (nearly a stripped shell), and was attempting to remove an axle shaft from a rear stub axle by pulling on it instead of just removing the whole stub axle (which is what I do now). Anyway, I ended up pulling the tub off of the jackstands with a crash.

Luckily nothing was hurt (especially me), but it was kind of awkward explaining what that loud crash was as I was putting the car back up on the jackstands a few minutes later.....

It's funny how people seem to show up right after performing an act of pure genius.

So when I was first learning to weld, I had a bad tendency onf setting the welding rod on my leg while I regripped it. I did it once and burned a hole through my crotch. Didn't hit anything. I said "WHOA! Better not do THAT again." Then about half an hour later, I did it again anyway. Burned a hole through my pants and 1/16 inch into my leg. About a quarter inch away from my um... utility tool.

" I jumped up. Clenched my fists. And said WHOA! Better not do that again. And passed out"

QUOTE (effutuo101 @ Mar 23 2006, 10:58 AM)

LOL! Nothing that dramatic. When I was moving into a place in Sacramento, I had a fuel injector that was stuck on. I stalled the car and restarted it. I blew a 8 foot flame out the back end. My friend (sitting in the u haul) swears that he thought the car was going to blow! It didn't help that it was 2 in the morning and the guy who lives across the street was CHP watching us move in. Chris

Wow, that suggests a new feature to add to MegaSquirt. Next time some A-hole follows a little too close ....


So anyway, I was doing some work on the steering column and I'm in "the position" : shoulders on the floor, back smashed onto drivers seat, feet stickin' up sorrority-style. The front end is on jack stands, and the car is in gear. Then I realise that the ignition is in the "ON" position. Hey, that doesn't seem very safe. So I reach up and turn the key counter-clockwise. When you're looking at the key from behind, that is not what you want to do. Lets just say I'm glad the engine didn't start up...

1) Leamon and I once used a shop vac to suck 10 yr. old gas from the tank of a 73 911. While in the middle of this another friend arrives and yells out "What the F is going on in here!" The whole garage was filled with fumes, and we were probably a little high from it. I guess at that point we were one spark away from a double funural. Not to mention the fact that a shop vac motor probably makes a fair amount of static electricity by it self. I think the fact that the gas in the tank was so old saved us from a Darwin award.

2) done the spring thing, too - Boing! whoa!

3) First time I had the engine out and back in. Had rasied the car off the jack stands using two stock jacks. well they don't go high enough so I put cinder blocks under the jacks. While lowering the drivers side the bar jack on the pass. side slides down the post and the vibration caused the block to crack apart and the car basically fell to the ground. no big deal right the wheels were on. WRONG, because I had removed the jack stand but hadn't moved it completely out of the way. On the way down the rocker pannel glances the top putting it in just the right place cram itself into the bottom edge of the rear quarter between the door and wheel well. NICE! Big fat dent right in the crease...

Eagerness and inexperience = FUN!

I was all excited to start my first ever top end refresh on an engine that I purchased. I cranked it and it seemed to want to catch, but it would not start. Checked fuel, checked spart, timing, etc. All good. Tried it again with my frined standing behind the car adn he said that he smelled gas. One more time and.....Whoosh a flaming rag, that I obviously forgot to remove from the HE, shot across my yard at amazing speed

To add to this (and futher prove the above statement) I noticed that the oil was draining slowly into the engine when I was filling it. "Must be really sealed up well", i thought in my ignorance. I later found the other rag that I forgot to remove from the oil fill

I had my totally stripped car (tub) balanced on cinder blocks (4 high) and was sliding my small trailer under it so I could haul it to the paint stipper (media blast the entire car). I had the trailer under the car with the weight now shifted onto the trailer. I began removing the cinder blocks and the because too much weight was on the rear of the trailer, it pivoted backwards on the trailer wheels, lifting the trailer tounge way in the air. It didn't stop until the rear of the 914 crashed into the concrete floor. All it did was bend in the rear sheetmetal where the rear valence mount, and I was able to bend it back out, no problem.

What a dumb ass. Trying to do things without a helper can really get yourself ito trouble.

Rob

My best bone head!

Finished working on a 914 for a customer. Took it out for a shack down run. Driving along with the customer in the passenger seat, we are making a good amount of speed, go around a corner and I hear something rolling from one side of the car to the other. Sound like it was in the cockpit, and had just rolled under my feet, I look down to see what so did the customer. I look up to find my self off roadin' in a 914-6 GT clone plowing through a ditch in farm country Ohio. Doah!!!!

Luckily I only had to redo one rocker panel and rear flare. BTW, the article was in the front trunk, he had a tach in a box of spare parts up front that jumped out and slammed to one side.

BTW, drove it out of the ditch and we keep going, pride a little hurt, but nobody hurt physically.

I haven't had many events with the 914 but there've been a couple with 911's like leaving a paper towel in the engine compartment. The fan sucks those things up and lays them on the engine. Where IS that smoke coming from?

And then there's the typical brain-dead power tool screw-ups like not using the kick-back pawls on the radial arm saw. A chuck of wood flies across the garage and WHAM! Puts a 1" dent in a 2x4 stud. whoops.

I have three dumb things to share, while I was making a flange for the turbocharger I was using my grinder on the 1/4 steel when I noticed the sparks had started my crotch on fire.
I was removing my hydraulic trunk lid struts without supporting the lid so it fell on my head.
I cracked my windshield last week while screwing around with the roll cage.

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenence job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and says, "It says sprocket not socket!"

I descided to restore mine, instead of just loving it how it was till it was gone.

Zach

Had been working on the car for some time. A hot summer day, so I went into the kitchen to get a cold one. Came back out in the garage, walked over to the work bench, sat down my drink and out of the corner of my eye saw what appeared to be a little black car rolling down my driveway. Dropped my drink, ran after the car and just managed to grab the P brake just before the car hit the opposite curb. As Bugs would say "what a maroon"!

Cheers, Elliot

Back in the early days of 914 ownership.
Having a problem with an intermittent miss. We cleaned the carbs drained the bowls and ended up spilling some gas. got everything back together and cranked it up. never realized one of the plug wires was disconnected. BANG!!!! WTF was that? Welcome to the EXTERNAL combustion engine.

I had to go sit down for awhile till my ears stopped ringing.

2 stories

914 story -

Parts car has nice Mahle rims on it. Of course the last rim is stuck on, lugs removed, all for corners off the floor place towel over rim the wrap 2x4 in another towel and used a 5ld seldge to break the wheel loose. Last BIG swing sledge bounces off board and hits me in the leg just below the knee, I fall over and hit head on fender. I got that F'n rim off, but hand a HUGE black & purple bruise on my leg for 2 months.

#2 back in 1985 I was 19 just had my 76 Nova totaled by a lady that ran a red light. I bought a 75 Vega GT proceeded with the help of a few friends to install the v8 from the Nova. d-day, time to fire the beast up, crank crank crank, won't fire Pour a little gas in the carb, crank and nothing stick my head in to look in the carb just as my GF decides to crank it one more time, yep backfire through the carb. Now remeber this is 1985, BIG metal hair band days............ you get the picture the next day is when I started cutting my hair short

QUOTE (Elliot Cannon @ Mar 23 2006, 01:37 PM)

Had been working on the car for some time. A hot summer day, so I went into the kitchen to get a cold one. Came back out in the garage, walked over to the work bench, sat down my drink and out of the corner of my eye saw what appeared to be a little black car rolling down my driveway. Dropped my drink, ran after the car and just managed to grab the P brake just before the car hit the opposite curb. As Bugs would say "what a maroon"! Cheers, Elliot

You would think a professional pilot would know to "chock the gear when leaving the cockpit"!!!!!

Maybe you should make a checklist for parking your 914.

When I first installed my SBC I hooked the fuel line to the vaccuum advance port thus filling my motor with fuel. When I cranked it over it shot a 6 foot flame out the carburator and valve breathers.....oops

QUOTE (olav @ Mar 23 2006, 11:20 AM)

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenence job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and says, "It says sprocket not socket!"

How I wish he would do stand up again..

I'm sure I could come up with several, but the winner for me is this; I was trying to remove a siezed front shock. Because it was siezed, I couldn't compress it enough to get it out of the shock tower. Instead, I decided to pry the A-arm down using a long metal bar. I had the bar wedged against something, and had a friend pushing down really hard while I pulled on the shock. When A-arm finally got low enough to allow the shock out of the tower, it smacked hard against the inner fender, twice, putting two big dimples in the fender, and craking the paint. Oops! Then, to top things off, when reinstalling the shock, I banged it against the fender one more time! Nope, I never do learn.

I think my vote goes to the chopstick story though. Someone should find that thread!

I agreed to pull an engine and tranny to do a clutch job. That was almost a year ago.

1. While the perfectly running engine was out, I removed the injectors and had a local garage check and clean them for me. When I put the engine back in, only one injector was working. I sent them to Rich Jensen and he brought the 3 dead ones back to life. Turned out the local guys didn't know what they were doing, and I should have walked out when they said they had never seen injectors that looked like the stock 2.0 models.

2. While the engine was out, I decided to replace the fuel lines. Had to mix and match parts from my local NAPA store (I buy lots of stuff from them) until I finally got it together with 5/16" brake lines for both supply and return. Not stupid, per se, but it added a lot of extra time to the repair job.

3. Got the engine back in and I'm tuning it. It wouldn't run, although it ran just fine last weekend. Hook up my handy-dandy homemade fuel pressure gauge and there was no fuel pressure. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? It worked before. I shone a light into the gas tank and it was bone dry.

Oh yeah, there's a great long-lived thread on the Pelican 911 board called "admit to your stupidity." Lots of bonehead maneuvers there.

QUOTE (Joe Ricard @ Mar 23 2006, 01:50 PM)

Welcome to the EXTERNAL combustion engine.

I bought my car thinking I would just put as little $ in as possible.

20 years ago, on my 1st ever garage clutch job, I was in the process of removing the tranny while the engine was held up by stands. Laying on my back, looking up towards the tranny, as I loosend the last rear engine mount, the tranny dropped down towards me but the rear ground strap briefly caught it, then it broke & the whole thing landed on my shoulder hard ...

Fortunately, about this time the adrenalin was rushing through my system, and I was able to lift that damn tranny with one arm...

Then, later as I began to loosen the very tightly torqued center bolt, which holds the clutch flywheel, the ratched slipped & my left elbow slammed against the exhaust connection, creating a deep 3 inch gash with a whole lotta blood - I still recall screaming in pain then looking down into that open gash & saying, "Oh, Sh-t!!!"

There was no one home at the time, so I had to drive my other car (with 4-speed stick) down to the local doctors office to receive 8 stitches...what a mess! Almost passed out...


Now I know why the shop labor rates are around $120 bucks an hour.




BTW - great post, I love to read that we all share those bone-head stories

OK... first one: drain oil before removing Tuna can

2nd one: never ever use a lighted match to see if the battery is low on water... no matter how dark it is out side!

...b