Free door to door breast exams
MIAMI (Reuters) - A 76-year-old man claiming to be a doctor went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams, and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, police said on Thursday.
One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.
The woman then phoned the Broward County Sheriff's Office and the suspect fled. He was arrested at another woman's apartment in the same Lauderdale Lakes neighborhood on Wednesday, a sheriff's spokesman said.
The white-haired suspect, Philip Winikoff, carried a black bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.
"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," sheriff's spokesman Hugh Graf said in a statement.
At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.
Winikoff was not a doctor, Graf said. He worked as a shuttle driver for an auto dealership.
Full Version: OT: But So 914club
Idiot. If he had charged them a fee then they never would have caught on. And if they had, then they couldn't call the Police without implicating themselves for solicitation. 
And speaking of idiots, Yahoo news is on a tear today:
PORTLAND, Ore. - An Oregon man who went to a hospital complaining of a headache was found to have 12 nails embedded in his skull from a suicide attempt with a nail gun, doctors say.
Surgeons removed the nails with needle-nosed pliers and a drill, and the man survived with no serious lasting effects, according to a report on the medical oddity in the current issue of the Journal of Neurosurgery.
The unidentified 33-year-old man was suicidal and high on methamphetamine last year when he fired the nails — up to 2 inches in length — into his head one by one.
The nails were not visible when doctors first examined the man in the emergency room of an unidentified Oregon hospital a day later. Doctors were surprised when X-rays revealed six nails clustered between his right eye and ear, two below his right ear and four on the left side of his head.
The study did not say how long the nails were, and a hospital spokeswoman refused to release that information. A photo published in the study suggests the nails range from 1 1/2 to 2 inches long.
No one before is known to have survived after intentionally firing so many foreign objects into the head, according to the report, written by Dr. G. Alexander West, the neurosurgeon who oversaw the treatment of the patient.
The man at first told doctors he had had a nail gun accident, but later admitted it was a suicide attempt.
The nails came close to major blood vessels and the brain stem but did not pierce them. The patient was in remarkably good condition when he was transferred to Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, where the nails were removed.
The patient was later transferred to psychiatric care and stayed under court order for nearly a month before leaving against doctors' orders.
PORTLAND, Ore. - An Oregon man who went to a hospital complaining of a headache was found to have 12 nails embedded in his skull from a suicide attempt with a nail gun, doctors say.
Surgeons removed the nails with needle-nosed pliers and a drill, and the man survived with no serious lasting effects, according to a report on the medical oddity in the current issue of the Journal of Neurosurgery.
The unidentified 33-year-old man was suicidal and high on methamphetamine last year when he fired the nails — up to 2 inches in length — into his head one by one.
The nails were not visible when doctors first examined the man in the emergency room of an unidentified Oregon hospital a day later. Doctors were surprised when X-rays revealed six nails clustered between his right eye and ear, two below his right ear and four on the left side of his head.
The study did not say how long the nails were, and a hospital spokeswoman refused to release that information. A photo published in the study suggests the nails range from 1 1/2 to 2 inches long.
No one before is known to have survived after intentionally firing so many foreign objects into the head, according to the report, written by Dr. G. Alexander West, the neurosurgeon who oversaw the treatment of the patient.
The man at first told doctors he had had a nail gun accident, but later admitted it was a suicide attempt.
The nails came close to major blood vessels and the brain stem but did not pierce them. The patient was in remarkably good condition when he was transferred to Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, where the nails were removed.
The patient was later transferred to psychiatric care and stayed under court order for nearly a month before leaving against doctors' orders.
The tit Doc was 76 years old!!!
Bet he wishes he had thought of it when he was younger.
Bet he wishes he had thought of it when he was younger.
QUOTE(URY914 @ Apr 21 2006, 06:06 PM) 
The tit Doc was 76 years old!!!
Be he wishes he had thought of it when he was younger.
Many teeners probably thought of that idea when they were younger but like me, most of us just had more sense beyond our 914 addiction...
but being curious, I wonder which one he examined 1st, the left or right one? LOL
QUOTE(cooltimes @ Apr 21 2006, 06:34 PM)
QUOTE(URY914 @ Apr 21 2006, 06:06 PM)
The tit Doc was 76 years old!!!
Be he wishes he had thought of it when he was younger.
Many teeners probably thought of that idea when they were younger but like me, most of us just had more sense beyond our 914 addiction...
but being curious, I wonder which one he examined 1st, the left or right one? LOL
Both. One with his left hand, one in his mouth and his right hand in his pants.
Dr. Sweatermuffin would have gotten away with it if he hadn't gone greedy and insisted on going downtown.
Read it again......
Free door to door breast exams
MIAMI (Reuters) - A 76-year-old man claiming to be a retired, bored insurance broker went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams, and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, police said on Thursday.
One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam expecting to see a "PENIS" and put his hands in rubber gloves, investigators said.
The woman then phoned the Redneck County Sheriff's Office and the suspect fled (Although she stated that he was running very, very slow). He was arrested at another woman's apartment in the same Redneck neighborhood on Wednesday, a sheriff's spokesman said.
The white-haired suspect, known as (He who drives an ass dragger), carried a brown bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.
"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," sheriff's spokesman Buster Hymen said in a statement.
At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.
The ass dragger driver was not a doctor, Laugth said. He worked as a shuttle driver at an auto dealership.
QUOTE(Howard @ Apr 21 2006, 05:14 PM)
Free door to door breast exams
MIAMI (Reuters) - A 76-year-old man claiming to be a retired, bored insurance broker went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams, and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, police said on Thursday.
One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam expecting to see a "PENIS" and put his hands in rubber gloves, investigators said.
The woman then phoned the Redneck County Sheriff's Office and the suspect fled (Although she stated that he was running very, very slow). He was arrested at another woman's apartment in the same Redneck neighborhood on Wednesday, a sheriff's spokesman said.
The white-haired suspect, known as (He who drives an ass dragger), carried a brown bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.
"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," sheriff's spokesman Buster Hymen said in a statement.
At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.
The ass dragger driver was not a doctor, Laugth said. He worked as a shuttle driver at an auto dealership.
QUOTE(914-8 @ Apr 21 2006, 07:15 PM)
Dr. Sweatermuffin would have gotten away with it if he hadn't gone greedy and insisted on going downtown.
Nah, it was those meddling kids again that ruined it for him!
QUOTE(Aaron Cox @ Apr 21 2006, 05:15 PM)
Speaking of Mike, has anyone noticed his new avatar? Pretty scary!
QUOTE(scotty b @ Apr 21 2006, 09:25 PM)
QUOTE(914-8 @ Apr 21 2006, 07:15 PM)
Dr. Sweatermuffin would have gotten away with it if he hadn't gone greedy and insisted on going downtown.
Nah, it was those meddling kids again that ruined it for him!
That Daphne is sorely in need of a thorough exam.
QUOTE(Howard @ Apr 21 2006, 07:02 PM)
And speaking of idiots, Yahoo news is on a tear today:
PORTLAND, Ore. - An Oregon man who went to a hospital complaining of a headache was found to have 12 nails embedded in his skull from a suicide attempt with a nail gun, doctors say.
The man at first told doctors he had had a nail gun accident, but later admitted it was a suicide attempt.
The patient was later transferred to psychiatric care and stayed under court order for nearly a month before leaving against doctors' orders.
Update: Doctors today released findings showing the patient was despondent over his car. He was quoted as saying, 'This damn thing will never run right!' and 'I should have just bought Howard's V8.'
'If that wasn't bad enough, I have to live in Bakersfield or Turkey, for crying out loud. I might as well shoot myself in the fooking head with a fooking nail gun'.
'You've got to feel for the guy' said chief psychiatrist Billy Bob Akbar. 'He can't even figure out how to use a fooking nail gun'.
Back to you, Allan
Travels of the galloping gynecologist, Reality TV at it's best.
Gonna need a bondsman for Dadz......wonder how much?
.....no lady of the 914 club/non-club would ever fall for that crazy scheme......
I mean really, 30 year old cars that drain your bank account, sure, but a door to door boob inspector, C O M E ON!!!!!!
Lisa
I mean really, 30 year old cars that drain your bank account, sure, but a door to door boob inspector, C O M E ON!!!!!!
Lisa
QUOTE(cooltimes @ Apr 21 2006, 08:34 PM)
but being curious, I wonder which one he examined 1st, the left or right one? LOL
Which do you mean, his left or her left ?
Actually, back when I lived down south, I remember (however hazily) that free breast exams were a standard feature at Mardi Gras. Same folks that offered free mustache rides. As far as I know, nobody ever complained.
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