My 2 goals in life for the not to distant future:
1. NEVER live in a place with any form of home owners assosciation
2. Share no walls with neighbors....preferrably neighbors are 200yds or more away.



So just now an officer come to my door. This is the second time in a week. Why? Well, some busy body POS in the newly elected HOA has been going around and looking for ANYTHING that he can bitch about. What did he find? My MBZ, which is not an isore by any means, and is parked in my spot, but the inspection stick on it is expired. What is his beef? He called the cops and reported it abandoned! MF!
Luckily, the cops are cool here. They are like, "Its private property and you are parking in YOUR spot so we do not know what he wants us to do." The cop called him nutless for not just coming over and talking to me himself. He couldnt figure out what the hell was going on and told me to have a nice day. Supposedly there is a rule in our HOA ordinance about having to have all visible vehicles current. All I have to do is get a damn car cover and he can suck my balls If I catch his geriatric ass peaking unde my car cover I will beat him with his own walker. Asshole has nothing better to do.
Another good thing is ALL of my neighbors love me (and are from 55-84yo), and hate them HOA because they have been nit picking on stupod shit. When you harass a med student and his elderly neighbors for no real good reason it truely speaks volumes about what kind of person you are.

Thanks for letting me vent

Sounds like what you need is some therapeutic medicine


working on my transmission!

You couldn't pay me to live in a neighborhood with an HOA. In Florida, they call them "condo commandos." Around here, I call them "crabgrass fascists." As far as I'm concerned, they are nothing more than sad creatures who enhance their own sense of self-worth by forcing other people to conform to arbitrary, nonsensical rules. I prefer the "live and let live" rule myself.

Vent on, Doctor...

Why not become a member of the Kangaroo court?

Just wait until they get the likes of you on their board. If your neighbors love you, certainly they would vote for you.

Once on the board, you may be able to change things.



It may just be easier to be a sheep and comply with all the ridiculous rules.

Or you could always move (that's what they want all non-compliers to do).

I don't think this guy has enough to do but bitch at you. It's quite entertaining that people can't talk to each other these days and need to use the police for every little thing.

Do you ever run into a doc named Jack Frankeny? He's my cousin. I think he's still at the Med Center.

Spoke

hey..the guy sounds like a serious jerk....maybe you need a car cover that locks (with straps), that way you can keep him away...

Evil...when do you want me to come and pick up the MB and remove the i sore from the lot?

hb...

There is a solution.

1. go to every HOA meeting, even when inconvenient.
2. Keep an eye on the Nieghborhood Nazi and veto everything he even remotely supports.
3. Get your neighbors to do the same.


He s on you, you on him.


We attend the HOA meetings as a matter of course. We actively campaigned against one lady to keep her nosy butt off the board. That is easy to do when most people don't show for the elections.

That's because they know they'll go from being neighbors to patients...

In my ample free time, when I am not learning about the conversion of T4 into rT3 by peripheral tissues and such, I would love to go to town meetings. I am a bit preoccupied with this medical school thing, but I guess this is more important than learning how to keep people healthy. I did have a fantasy that I went to a meeting and the bastard had a heart attack and I saved him. That ought to keep him off my ass. I actually am friends wiht hte son of the police chief here, too. If I only had time to piss this guy off as much as he has pissed me off......

Oh ya, I am a renter = no vote.

wow what a lame ass. My buddy had to contend with a guy like that at his last condo. He was extremely bored and had a knack for leveraging town bureaucracy via incessant letter writing.

I was not implying that Med school is less important than a stupid HOA meeting.


And If you are a renter, they can't touch your stuff. They have to go to the landlord and petition him, and then he has to come after you. YOU didn't sign the HOA agreement, your landlord did when he bought the place. It is up to him to enforce it with his tenants.

So all you have to do is tell the nosy little Neighborhood Nazi to go piss up a rope.

I grew up in Chocolate town when it was almost like Mayberry.It is still a great place to live if you can but up with all the B.S. that has come with the town growing into a small city.The more people you have the more chance you have for more A-holes.

reminds me of all of the weenies who have a problem but will not discuss it with the guy they had it with but rather blab it all over the web because they are chickens and whiners. Sorry man. AT least this is a good lesson for all of us. NEVER be a weenie. Maybe we could all go but after our meeting friday and p..s on his lawn (all of us, what are they going to do??)_

Sounds like you need some soign'ee green.

Clay - notice the winkie smilie. I know you were not saying that. You my bro!

George, I promised the cop that I wouldnt do anything to give the cop a reason to come back.

In the big picture, it is not a huge item. I can just get a car cover so he cant see and I am pretty sure the cops are not coming back as they have said it is out of their hands. I just needed to vent so all of you problem solvers dont need to think too hard. I got no time or energy to get creative (too bad, I could use some revenge!).

Dr. "When did I become White Trash" Evil

Fascists. My problem is the ridiculous inconsistency of the way the rules are enforced. For example - we had a neighbor who let their dog poop next to the mailboxes and never picked it up. I'm talking multiple huge piles. People complained to him, he kept doing it, finally, someone complained to the HOA. They refused to do anything about it, despite it being specifically called out in the CC&R's.

I had another neighbor who split and abandoned his house (a $1M house - no kidding). He left 6 leased vehicles in the driveway, keys in the ignition. I informed the HOA, they said it wasn't their problem, called the cops, they said it wasn't their problem. I was about ready to post an ad in the paper, "hey, come and get your free Mustangs and F150's", when the lease company finally showed up to retrieve the cars.

But, as I found, there is a way to get them to act! I have a garderner who comes once a week, does full landscaping, cleans and bags everything, he comes on Wednesday. One week, we have a windstorm on Friday, it blows some debris from my tree onto the sidewalk - we're talking about a MINIMAL amount of cr@p. Monday, I get a "notice of non-compliance" from the HOA for having debris on the sidewalk. I'm at the end of a cul-de-sac.... the only people who walk past my house would be my family. Grrr.

Venting is good....

This is why I live 8 miles from civilization on two acres. No cops, no pain in the butt neighbors, just nice peace and quiet. Bad day is when the racoons get into the garbage can.

Dr. Evil,

I think you should strive for attaining point #1; "NEVER live in a place with any form of home owners assosciation"

HOA's can wield emense power, much to the chagrin of many homeowners who don't read the fine (legalese) print. You've probably read the horror stories. My wife is a Realtor.

On the third day after moving into his home, my friend is approached by an HOA Nazi declaring he must remove the rust spots from his driveway immediately even though they were left there by the PO. It's this kind of absurdity that leaves my head spinning!

Andys

I hear ya, dude! Part of my specs for my house search was no CC&R/HOA of ANY KIND! I don't need some nosey busy-body telling me what colors are "legal" when I want to paint my house -- if THEY want to pay the mortgage then we can talk about HOA colors and other rules My g/f liked the HOA in her neighborhood because she, like many out there, was only concerned with resale value (I like to think of my house as my home, not purely resale). Then the Nazis came in and fined her for minor this-n-that stuff. She was floored and finally saw the light -- no living in governed communities again! There's enough crap out there for the working to worry about without having some retired POS stir up more trouble.

I did have an "incident" where a nosey neighbor called the sheriff and had a pink tow slip slapped on a car of mine that my buddies and I were going to cut apart for parts. I called the sheriff's office and long story short, I could have one non-running vehicle on my personal property. So we dragged it on to my front lawn and I didn't mow the yard for a few weeks just to piss them off more. I eventually found out who called (retired couple...or course) and told the husband that had they approached me like adults instead of the cowardly cop approach things wouldn't have been so bad. I now simply ignore them anytime I see them.

I live in a neighborhood that has an HOA. Mine is actually not that bad. They will send you a nasty-gram if you violate the rules but, the rules really aren't that strict to begin with.

Included with the HOA is free in-home alarm systems provided by a very good alarm company here and 24 hr roving security.

Plus, we don't have a bunch of beaters with flat tires and black widow webs parked up and down the streets.

Set up a table in the front yard and spend a saturday cleaning guns out i front of the house. Invite friends over and have a gun cleaning party/bbq in the front yard!
Make sure everyone parks in approved spaces, and their cars and guns are registered.

You couldn't pay me to take a condo or house with an HOA. Too many stories from friends... Even worse if you end up with the HOA head fascist as your neighbor.

That's why I want 2 acres, a manufactured home and maybe an extra house or two in back to rent out -- that way I have room for my garage/shop and plenty of room to play.

I have been getting away with murder verywhere I've rented so far just for doing free and helpfull things for the land owners. It might sound like kissing ass but in the end, we all have the same needs and wants. I feel your pain bro and it will only be for a short time since you will soon make big bucks installing women's breast implants. Ya baby, big tities to the world!!!!

Get his email address and we can all send him a 80mb file!

Yeah, when I bought my place one of the criteria was that there be no HOA. After dealing with them in Baltmore, I knew that I wanted no part of them.

I guess the benz is still down for the count? Did you ever figure out what was wrong with it, or just general fuel woes.

Zach

Here is the difference between you (a good person) and me (a not-so-good person). My dream would involve a heart attack and me laughing while I walked out the back with a "shoulda been my friend bitch!" Or, if really a fantasy, it would involve me urinating on him while he was down gasping for air

Oh man I like your sense of humor. I wish I had thought of that one when I lived in a Town House in Pacific Palisades a few years ago. I swear I was so close to strangling the HOA Prez there, this would have been perfect!

That is EXACTLY why we live in the middle of nowhere. I often joke that we could set off a small nuclear explosion on our property any nobody would know. Just the way I like it.
I will never have a neighbor who can see me without a telescope again.

A couple of years ago, I started building a deck. I had already jumped through all of the flaming hoops getting it approved by the HOA, the township, and the county. I was about a week into the project when our house was struck by lightning, which put the project on hold. Then winter came, which held up concrete work (patio underneath), and then in the spring, we had our second daughter.

So this deck took nearly a year to build due to circumstances that were largely out of my control.

My neighbor who is a lapdog of the board confided to me that they were thinking about sending me a letter because the project was taking so long. I told her that they should by all means send me the letter, so that I could send it right back to them with a note to shove it up their collective asses. I have read the rules, and there is not a word about time limits on projects.

I never got the letter.

This is my second house with an HOA, and I don't think that I will do it again. Too many self-important assholes in the world whose only sense of power comes from being on one of these boards.

1.98 acres. perfect.

k

I've never lived where there is an HOA but I almost had an episode where I wished there was some "HOA" type rules.

When I lived in Reading, PA, my next door neighbor bought an old green/white Winnabago to take his family on cheap vacations. He told me that he would keep it in the winter months parked in the yard between his house and my house. Yikes!

I called the township and they said he could park it anywhere on his property as long as the registration/inspection was current. Double Yikes!

Luckily he found out that he couldn't just take it to the Jersey shore and park it along the road for the night. The first night at the shore the police made him take it to a camp area several miles inland and it cost him $50 per night. After that the Winnabago was gone in 2 months. Lucky me.

Spoke

I can't imagine volunteering to live around assholes like that...in our neighborhood they {old farts with nothing to do} like to piss off anyone with more cars than will go in the garage by reporting them as abandoned to the PD, they called 92 times in 100 days on my kids car when he lived here (a beater honda wagon) and the pd came out and tagged it damn near every time....go figure...I found out who it was and began parking my two cars on each side of their drive way every day....finally the guy comes down and asks what the problem is...I said he was and to go fuck himself....we don't talk much anymore....hang in there doc, ya gotta believe in the "karma cops"....or wasting diseases with great pain.....

Hey Evil do you have access to a flesh eating virus? Brownies...

When I lived in Hawaii, I lived in a condo with an HOA (never, ever again). My car's battery died while it was parked in the garage. I took an extension cord downstairs and plugged it in to the outlet near the elevator, very carefully routed it so that nobody could trip on it, and went back upstairs.
I came back down after a couple of hours to check on it, and my extension cord was gone. I went to the caretaker's office to see what happened and he told me that I had been using owner's association property without authorization (electricity). I had to remove the battery, carry it up into my condo, charge it, reinstall it, BS upon BS.
The caretaker was a cool guy after I bought him a couple of 12 packs, so he told me who turned me in.
I waited 6 months.
I krazy glued the locks on his condo, then at 2:00 am I went downstairs and took all the lug nuts off his car and set them on his hood.
It took him 4 hours before the locksmith showed up to let him in his house, and then the next morning he was really late to work because he had to wait for a tow truck to come put his lug nuts back on. The numbnuts was too lame to put his own lug nuts back on.
No regrets here.

You ROCK!

Bingo! I grew up in the country and that's where I want to eventually go back to.

Wow,

Re-reading this is so timely.

I waited 4 months to get a special parking permit to park in "Guest Parking" and there's a limited amount of those spots available.

Just after I got my permit and hung it from my rear-view I got one of those obnoxious blaze orange stickers stuck to my window stating there would be a $50 fine.

I fumed all day.

Then I called the local traffic "dick" and calmly asked what was up. He called back that day apologizing 4 or 5 times stating he had just returned from 2 weeks vacation and much not have been watching what he was doing.

=-)

Dick.

This is my first and last townhouse.

When we were looking to buy almost a year ago we made it clear to our realator we would live nowhere with hoa's. We found two remote acres with a nice old farmhouse and we couldn't be happier.

Hiedi

Settle down Beavis

Yeah, I live at the end of a private drive with 4 houses on it. Its only the 4 of us, and if 2 of us can't get along, the other ones fix it in a hurry. Everybody here wants peace and quiet, no loud music or partys, loud cars excepted.

But you can do what you want on your own property, and nobody fuchs with us cause we got guns.

Doc,
I live in a association and I am being fu*K with as we speak, 5 old ladies considering me a nuisance to my neighbor. They forced me to agree to no work in the garage (Noise wise) before 9:00 am and after 6:00 pm. Well I don't make noise much at all, a normal person would not bitch a bit. One mental case can jam you up good when it comes to "association rules". They can fine you with out proof just because, and theres no civil remedy or defense. I herd my neighbor complained again because she could here me making noise at 6:30 Pm from the outside of my garage while she was walking her dog. Well I have been quiet until then. I gave her a tongue lashing that could be herd a mile away. I want to move but the wife doesn't so here I am... At 9:00 am the air hammer runs wild just for the FU*K of it.. Do be careful, associations have a lot of power believe it or not

Those are my normal work hours. This would mean no work on the car except on the weekends. Just hope none of your vehicles breaks down during the week and needs repairing.

What existing noise regulations do you have in your area? There should be some existing noise ordinances in effect in your area. These ladies are definitely screwing with you. Most old people I know (including myself) are up at the crack of dawn or before.

Spoke

The association sets its own laws, local zoning doesn't apply, yes thats crazy. If they think you are a "nuisance" thats the law. I just have to be as quiet as I can and hope they don't start leveeing fines, 50 bucks is the first and it doubles each time. They can place a lean on your home to collect.

Yep, HOA's are a piece of crap. I would read the rules carefully and make sure you know what they are. Then make all the racket you want within the contract. If you can find it, check on animal regulations as well. There is one where I live and the max is 40lbs full grown. Good luck!