Hi,
So, I sell software for a living.
I live north of Boston, about 45 min.

We have some of the worst roads out here, and I have travelled alot. It always amazes me that the roads in the Northeast are just so bumpy, and filled with potholes...jeez.

So anyways.
I had a meeting in LI, about half way up the island, which on a good day, no traffic is 3-4 hours, but typically 4-5 hours.
So, while my wifes volvo was laid up with a dead front end, she was using my van. The van is my long haul vehicle, and I have replaced the entire suspension, etc so it runs perfect on the highway. The ground clearance is perfect for our ugly roads.
But alas, while the wife was driving that car, she broke it.
So I finished her car on a super late night, worked the whole next day, and had to leave a 5 am to make my meeting in LI.
I have a choice, I tried to fix the van, but I needed a part, so no go. I even tried to make the part (a shifter bushing) but no luck.
So, the choice was the 914 with racing suspension, or a 356 with 6 volt electrics.
Had to be the 914, I needed the cell phone fully charged all the time.

So off I went to what was supposed to be a simple day trip.
I had no tools, just the suit I was wearing and my laptop.
I had an uneventful drive down, top off, nice sunny day.
Well, I got a call after the meeting. A buddy called and asked me to drive up LI even farther, another hour, and get a front valance for his BMW that he had paid for, but was to cheap to ship.
He knows I do business on LI, and I typically drive, so he was waiting.
Well, I said sure what the hell.
I get there, and this valance, lower air dam is pretty big, wraps around the front fenders etc...I tried a few thing, but ended up putting it in the front seat as my new passenger.
So off we went (its now 90 degrees) and Im in a shirt and suit pants, sweating like a pig.
This valance had alot of parts on it, and needed to get smaller.
I drove down the street to the local walgreens pharmacy and bought the cheapest set of sockets I could find, 9 bucks for a 30 piece set, cool.
So I took off all the brackets, lights etc...and I ended up pulling the foam piece uot from the passenger footwell, and the valance just barely fit in the car, and I could if needed put the roof on.

So, perfect, now to head home......not so quick.
Phone rings, new customer, south west of Newark , and its just about 2:30
They want to meet tommorow, ok...fine no problem, this is what I do.

I start driving down LI, listening to the radio, and I hear the the GW bridge is blocked, tractor trailer meltdown...blah blah, 1.5 hour delay to cross, and the timing was perfect, the exit was only a few mile ahead to choose.

So I stayed the course and went for the Triboro Bridge which goes from the bottom tip of LI right into manhattan at about 150 street.
Cool, bumpy as hell (racing suspension, remember) I am just beating on my body doing this..really tiring.

So I get over the bridge and get on the east side FDR highway, heading south to 35th street, this will get me to the lincoln tunnel, and out to NJ...cool

Well this road just takes the cake...its plane sucks, any lane, it sucks.
The left hand lane has manhole covers that you cannot possibly avoid, right in the track of the tire...and they are all at messed up angles, all deep, and hit hard.
This is the East side race track, if you snooze, you get hit, or pushed, its a very aggressive road to drive on, but Im from Boston, so its not totally unfamiliar driving for me.

But the poor car, and my back...ouch.
So, I finally get into a quiet street in manahattan and park for about an hour...oh, its rush hour...in manahattan, and I want to use the lincoln tunnel...lol
So this is a 30 minute thing, in a tunnel that can be 3 minutes..

Well, the car was hot, so after I sat for a while, I proceeded to head out.
Well, after a fun chase of a lambo and a gt3 (surreal), in the city streets of NYC, and I won a few of the lights due to being just a bit more ok with a scratch if needed...but fun overall.
Now racing around any city is a challenge, but NYC is unique.
I think its like a moving autocross, and all the cones are yellow cabs.

To make it even more interesting, we have double parking, both sides, which you can use to your advantage, and its totally legal to block the other car in the lane with the double parked truck, its just how the race works.

Passing on the left or right it expected, and lights are a recomendation, but yellow light only mean one thing...floor it.
Potholes are both randomly places, and tactically placed in your trackline...so try not to hit them at 65 in the city, or that front splitter is gone..
Oh, I forgot to mention, the yellow cabs/cones are actually trying to hit you, they dont just stand still, nor do they just drive along, they are trying to constantly hit you, and this is just part of the fun.
Review, for all you LA and Nor cal drivers who think a six lane highway is a traffic jam.

Cabs that move, get in the way, and try to hit you.
Double parking trucks, both sides of the road.
Lights, well, at least look both ways quick before blowing through..color not really an issue.
loads of pedestrains.
And ego...
You get to hear the motors for blocks...its really cool echo affect. awesome.
Oh, one more thing I love about NYC.....no cops..the beat cops dont drive, and very few cops are in cars, at least mid town and downtown.

Most of the time the lambo lead the three of us...a few times though, I got him in his overconfident mode, I passed him on the right, dove around a parked car kept on going.

I think the point is, as far as I could tell, make alot of noise, and listen to the echo.
And never get one light off from who you are racing, if you get one light off, you loose..

So, drive it like you stole it, and never hesitate...push in to that slot, it will open up by the time you get there..trust instinct.

I headed into the tunnel.
Ah,,I love tunnels, on hot days 90 degrees, diesel, smoke, and a convertible...sweet...oh, stillin the soaking wet suit pants, and the shirt is totally soaked.
About 30 feet in, IC alot of smoke from my car, i know the smell well, its oil
Im in a two lane, no pulling over scene, so I just let it happen, and the poor bastard behind me must have been pissed. oh well.

Each time we stop, more smoke billows forth and covers me.
Well this tunnel has no pull outs, and when you leave, you are still in two lanes of traffic, and no place to stop..no mercy, its the NE...
Well, I finally found my exit, and pulled off the road to find my catch container for the oil had broken loose, and it was all empty...and there was oil all over the engine tin.
So, that was the smell, I still had plenty of oil in the car, it was just the catch container...so I cant reach in and do anything, nice shirt, oil everywhere...and its already empty, so I head out...just another 15 min or so and I am at the hotel for the night.
Ah, AC...
So, I look in the mirror, total sunburn on my head, and light sunstroke..great.
So off I go to the mall, I walked over.
I get some new clothes, rubber gloves, zip ties, etc.
I get stipped down, reach in with no shirt, set the oil tank back up, tie it down tight, then go inside and take a shower...fine.

Of I go to the meeting in the morning, all fresh.
Great meeting, but now I have another 90 degree day, and 6-7 hours of rush hour traffic to wade through. I remembered the day before and IC a Kmart on the side of the road. I head in.
I also killed off the ciggarette lighter circuit earlier, and I just cant handle that, gotta have the phone charged.

So, kmart, I find 5 dollar shorts, 5 dollar t shirt, 5 dollar hat, and a five dollar pair of sandals...cool a 20 dollar complete outfit...awesome.
I then go downstairs, buy an elec meter (9 bucks, super cheap, closeout) and get some batteries.
I am all set, out in the parking lot from hell, its like 130 degrees on the pavement, but no shade in sight...what the hell, I strip and change in the car, all into my summer clothes now.
I spend an hour checking just how loose my suspension is, fix the cig lighter..good to go.

Well, the phone rings. I all hot and sweating, oily, etc,,,I had just planned on the look for the trip home, NP...
Nope, I am now headed to Philly, with my BMW valance passenger to talk to a new client...well, what the hell, this is what I do.

So of I go, but the catch is, he can only meet me at 5, so its 2:30 now, I gotta get to the highway, and haul ass.
I did, and I did haul ass, smooth sailing, pulled into the aiport parking at 4:56.
Cool, quick change in the car again, back into the clean suit.
Rush into the hotel, right for the restrooms, total sink bath on the upper half of my body...good to go.

Do a 3 hour meeting in the bar, and he invites me to come down the next day 30 min south to sell it to the rest of his team.
Cool, I go up stairs, and crash in the AC.
I cant sleep, due to lots of things, so I watch TV, and finally doze off.

Get up, drive to his place, meeting happens at 8, we negotiate pricing for hours, I leave with a deal, a check, and its 90 degrees, 2 pm...and I got a long haul in front of me in a 30 year old car...yippee.

So, I drive up the road, hit a coffee shop, quick change into the shorts and tshirt, grab a few drinks, a couple quarts of oil, and off I go.

Well, its 90. Im in Philly, I have two packs of cigs, a tank of gas, tunes, and a great new find for me....earplugs.
Off I go, 75-85 is typically all you can do around the northeast in traffic, so I am just tooling along, earplugs keep the truck noises from bugging me and I dont have a headache when I get out of the car, plus the ears dont ring.

I am all set, and the stereo sounds good through the earplugs, less tinny, but you ahve to crank it up...but it sounds better, and the whole ride was like I was in a nice smooth BMW...no more clunks when I hit a pot hole, no more noises to listhen to...cool

I get from PA into NJ and on the NJ pike is a major accident, and we are all backed up for almost 2 hours of parking lot love on the 90 degree highway, its great fun, but now I am totally screwed on the NYC part of my leg...Im heading right into rush hour leaving NYC...just great.
Well at the end of the traffic jam, there is a rest area ahead, and that distinct smell of melting aluminum was starting to rise up, so I pulled her off into the shade, and I figured that a good hour or so would do it.

Well, I clean and fixed the oil tank again, better each time, but just enough to get me home..
The car was really hot, and I have no guages, just me...but it was hot, too hot in that traffic jam...

Well, no big issue, just more oil, more gas, etc.
The rear end trailing arms are just fubar now, the rear alignment is toast, and the tires are now just to worn on the inside. so we had some wobble on the way home, but nothing major, just need to set it all again, and try to not hit 1476 pot holes in three days.

Well, hit every single major traffic tie up there is from Philly to boston...every one...It was almost funny. I know them all, I know the timing and when to drive in that area ..but I was wrong place, wrong time, and I needed to get by all of it. The accident was added for my pleasure.
Then there is the bridge scene, I went for Tapanzee, no real issue, but loads of cars, just bumper to bumper for hours.
I get to CT and of course, at 6-7 pm its just stopped.
This is the big one outside of NYC...the trip north is always full of way to many cars all trying to get home...
So, rest area again...gas, food, water, etc..and wait.
Finally it starts to move, cool
I get going, IC ahead just a huge wall of lightening...oops.
Rush into the next exit, grab roof, install, get back in and moments later is a typhoon...awesome.

Back on the road...cant see anything really. The wipers on the 914 are just not that good, but ten times better than a 356...so I still made the right choice.

Well about an hour of that, and it lets up, Im now approaching Hartford CT, and its 9 oclock at night...so traffic should be fine, right.....wrong.

A simple exit, built by morons is all it takes.
Aaron, do a study on the 91 north to 84 east ramp design.
Tell me that passes the simple requirements, its not even close.
A single lane exit goes from the N-S highway to the E-W highway, and this pushes the traffic out onto the main highway, and creates yet another traffic jam..

Well, I am in my turf, no prob...I hug the left hand lane, keeping a nice clean line around the stopped traffic, with only a few feet between me and the guy in front of me...a long line of tailgaters trained in brutal conditions, all racing along with no intention of letting anyone in to our lane at this point.

We are happily motoring along for a few miles, almost 8 miles...and the exit shows its ugly head...I come in hard and fast, no mercy, no fear of getting a scratch, and I spot a weak one, one who hesitates...mine...I wedge right in smooth as can be, and im right into the exit ramp, just 25 cars from the end..cool

Off we go, finally get on the next highway, no reason for the traffic jam, no traffic...just a bunch of pussies that cant get onto a highway without stopping, and this created an 8 mile traffic jam...wow..

I head home, met my buddy at this house, delivered the long haul valance...my passenger and good luck charm.

So, long ass story, but this forum needed something new, and if you read this far...well, cool

I learned.
Always have a set of clothes in the car, both nice and greasy.
Always carry some sort of tool kit.
Always carry an elec meter.
I need a taller 5th gear.
Much softer suspension ( a bit more than stock)
Much taller tires, and its time for new ones at this point...
Always have a HAT in any 914,,gotta keep the head from getting burned.
Oh, high beam broke...on the way home.

Overall,
The car got 32 to 35 mpg
You need to factor in the no AC situation, and bring some shorts for driving.
Earplugs are awesome...really makes the car great on long trips.

Now I am 6'2" 220 lbs, with long legs.
I found it was fine doing ten to 12 hours per day of driving..no problem.

Oh, dont get any gauges at all, no oil pressure, no head temps..
Just get the car in tune, perfect tune, and trust the german engineers.
It was really hot, yet the car is fine.

Rich

epic, and I'm trying to just get more than 2 miles down the road with my teener before utter disaster.

Pretty sweet story though, anyone ever though of compiling stories like this for 914's? just for shits and giggles.

I had a comment until I saw your avatar. Then I forgot.


Oh, ya, Life is one bigg advanture. Nice to read about a great journey. Thanks for the story Rich!

Rich - your story cracks me up - especially the part in/around nyc w/the tunnels & such. I just left in Dec, had lived in midtown Manhattan (39th & Lex) for 4yrs, Hoboken the 4 before that. I had the 914 in Manhattan 6 months out of they year while I lived there and you are sooooo right - very little in terms of traffic enforcement. Didn't stop me from getting a $150 ticket for for an illegal right turn last summer

Great story, makes me reminisce..

See what happens when you drive a 914 every day.

Thanks for the story.

Great read. Thanks for posting.

Get a disposable pair of coveralls and throw those in the trunk....weighs nothing and they are usually in a plastic bag so they don't get wet if the trunk leaks.

I did 9 hrs in a black 914 thru 109F heat....drank 7 liters of water and didn't have to pee once.....know that squishy feeling well

That post was like the Iliad. Gotta love new york. What a zoo that place is I love it...

I admire you.
914 in rush hour traffic SUCKS.

i remember those days wish i still had my 14' though

Great story Rich!

I have to agree. 914 in rush hour traffic? It's OK if you don't have a crunchy second synchro. But 90+ to boot? Yuk...

I drove down from Albany (family there) in a a full size Buick loaded with the fam into and then back out of Manhattan a couple of years back. I'd never driven in the city before, wife said I could be a N.Y. taxi driver myself. Can't see that happening although I did a damn fine job if I do say so myself. I remember it being exactly as you described it.

Awesome story! It gives me some encouragement. I only want to drive mine about 20 miles a few time a week without too many problems. So if you can drive yours all over the tri-state area then there is hope yet.

Thanks for sharing the story. Made me smile!

Great story.. details why I moved from NY years ago. But I do enjoy driving the 914 around and through the city.



Ah yes, the Charter Oak Bridge. Stay to the left and continue up 91 to 291 taking that over to 84. Long left hand sweeper at the end, there will be no traffic, make sure your oil is over by 1/2 qt.

Truly great read. The next Peter Egan?

Great story Rich.
It was funny. You have a writing talent.
Seth

Nice one Homer. Got any more?

90 degrees isn't too bad, it's the humidity.

Good story.

Growing up in LA and useing my 914 as a daily driver over ten years I really

enjoyed your tour through the streets of the NE, haven't been there. I am going

this summer. I really enjoyed your "moving autocross", The cones that

move...and try to hit you. Too funny. Thanks for sharing.

Great story! A buddy and I drove from Hopkington Mass to NYC when we were both in town for classes. I learned quick that NY drivers can spot a tourist a mile away, and the little dotted lines mean nothing. I would start to merge in bumper to bumper traffic and look right at the driver and say "RENTAL CAR" and go on in. 80% of the time they would pound the brakes and let me in. the other 20% didn't speak english, but understood that I was perfectly OK with them hitting me. Now, I use my "Left coast" driving for polite citys and traffic Jams. But, get a couple of people on the road who want to play....Then the "Right coast" driver in me goes for it.

Its funny, I cruise control till I get to Fairfield county in CT, which is about 30 miles north of the city.
Then the game changes, and the rules are much more cutthroat.

Gotta re-adjust the seat, get in the left hand lane, and become a pure Boston drive, with no mercy.

The thing I missed was my van. I can see more, and people look at the van and dont want to have me hit them...

But aside from that, I am standing on the fence.
I may put the stock torsion bars back in, and get some taller tires, and a taller 5th gear, and go for a highway cruiser...not sure yet.

The autox thing is getting old, and the car becomes less and less functional in the real world.

Well, I also need to re-key a few locks so it can actually be secure if I start using like this more and more.

Aside from that, the full travel kit will be added to the car permanently.
I will go to Walmart and get a setup of tools that I can keep in the car forever, and a two changes of clothes...

Or, I am really super impressed with the 356 on the highway, and at full speed.
Let me say, 75 is typically my slow speed, and its the slow lane in this part of the country.
So I tend to drive pretty fast on the highway, and these 45 year old cars are designed just for that...perfect autobahn cars.

So, I may just keep the 914 setup for autox, and get up off my ass, finish the 356 and make that the East Coast mule...besides, more people love that little car, and I get loads of comments.

If someone hits me, oh well. Its just a car, and I can buy everything on the 356 except the vin plate..

Rich

Thanks!
I almost missed dinner because you were smoking in the Lincoln tunel and I had to know if you made it!