Part 5, the final chapter.
Let me begin with a comment about pictures. What I was able to take, are coming. Since I got back from Italy on Wednesday and was gone two days later on another mission I didn’t get time to develop the shots I took while traversing the ferry from Messina to Villa San Giovanni.
OK, now for the final chapter in this sordid tale of woe and misfortune. I have set my alarm for 0700 so I can get up, shower, eat and be on the road no later than 0800. This should be plenty of time for daylight to appear. Alarm goes off and I groggily climb out of my little bed. Gee, it’s still kinda dark. Oh yeah, I have the rolladens down. For those of you that don’t know what Rolladens are, they are basically windows with built in shutters that literally roll up onto themselves. Think of rolling a newspaper up, that is what these do to cover and uncover the window. I have included a picture for your viewing pleasure; most European countries use these.
Click to view attachmentSo I hit the button to roll up the shutters, yes some are electric, and lo and behold….clouds. Dark, dismal, foreboding and laden with moisture of which is pitter-pattering on the ground rather steadily. I guess the storm didn’t blow over after all. Well, nothing I can do about it and I don’t think I can wait any longer. I do however, go outside in the rain to look at the clouds. They are moving and rather quickly at that. Unfortunately, they are moving in the direction I am heading.
Breakfast in Italy. So I shower and put on the same clothes I wore the day before, remember this was supposed to be a one day trip, and go downstairs to check out and eat. Italians don’t do a big breakfast; I get to choose bread, lunchmeat, cheese, juice and tea. Not exactly a gourmet buffet and lacking in the primary food group of Coffee. Yes, I think Coffee is a food group. All right, I’ll survive so I eat, have some tea and walk out of the hotel. As I get to the road that I have to cross I look at the bridge where I parked the car last night. There gleaming in the rain like a big yellow banana with a bad spot on top is my newly acquired nightmare. Guess no one in Italy wanted a classic German sports coupe. I was not sure whether I should have felt relief that it was still there or disappointment that it was still there but I did know that driving in the rain without windshield wipers was going to suck!
So I get in my little car and fire her up, doesn’t start as easy as the other day for some reason and seems to be a bit rougher running. I also smell gas but I can’t figure out from where. I would find out later. Let her idle for a bit, put her in gear and off I go. It is not excruciatingly bright but it is not pitch black either. Just your standard overcast day with rain so I have plenty of light to see the signs however, it is not easy when you have to look through a rain-speckled windshield.
As I drive along, it is not far, 3 maybe 5 miles? But it seems like forever because I am not familiar with the town and I have no friggin windshield wipers! I also learn that the top leaks! Hmm, guess I am gonna have to change some seals when I get home. As I plod along in the rain, getting dripped on every now and then, I see the sign and entrance to the ferryboat. I pull up, get out of the car, go and pay 25 Euros and then drive over to queue in the line to get on the ferry.
I am not waiting very long, all of 30 seconds and the ferry starts to load. They run every 20 minutes or so. I drive on, park, get my backpack and valuables and work my way up to the top deck. What a relief! Finding the ferry was easy in the daytime! This will be a great opportunity to get some pictures! I go up top and call the wife, she is in Napoli, and she is ecstatic that I have finally gotten to the ferry.
The ride is about 20 minutes and I was able to get a few pictures that I will post once I get them developed as I had my good film camera with the wide angle and zoom lens.
Off in the distance I see Villa San Giovanni and the rain is beginning to lessen. The storm seems to be moving off the coast a bit and is not moving past the mountains. This is a good thing and as I pull off of the ferry I see signs to Napoli on the AUTSTRADA!! Meanwhile, I had the opportunity to clean up the window so I could see better before I departed the ferry; this turns out to be very helpful as the rain started to increase in tempo.
Now that I am on mainland Italy, I need to find fuel. Well, I know that Italy is like Germany and that they have fuel and food rest stops off their main highways so this shouldn’t be a problem. I didn’t think I burned much gas but since the gauge wasn’t working and the tripmeter and odometer weren’t working, I couldn’t be sure. I get on the Autostrada and as I drive, the rain begins to dissipate. The only problem occurs when people pass me and kick up a lot of rain and road grime onto my windshield but that too is lessening as I drive further down the road.
After about 10 miles or so I see a sign for a gas station and pull off. I pull up to the pump and stop behind a guy who is getting gas. As I look at the pumps, the one immediately in front of me has 4 hoses and each is labeled. Diesel, Gasolina, Benzin premium, Benzin Super. The next pump up has only two hoses but I can’t see what they are labeled. Well, the car in front pulls off and, not wanting to be inconsiderate, I pull all the way up to the other pump even though there is no one behind me.
This pump has Benzin premium and Benzin super. Well, I don’t want to pay the price for premium or super so I back up to the first set of pumps; Gasolina was cheaper. Now in my mind, being an American, I translate the pump into the following. Diesel is diesel, Gasolina is regular unleaded, Benzin premium is unleaded premium and Benzin super is unleaded super. Anyone else see a problem with this logical translation based on what I am familiar with?
I proceed to fill the tank with 24 liters of Gasolina; the attendant walks over, smiles, looks at the car and what I am filling her up with and doesn’t say a DAMN THING! Maybe I should have pulled up to the full service pump. I finish fueling her up, pay my bill and get back in the car to back her up and park at their store so I can see if they have a map. WOOHOO! They got a map! It’s a good map too! I pay then go to the gas station service store next door and buy me a squeegee to clean the window and then go and sit in the car to have a look at the map.
Well damn, this should be easy; the autostrada goes all the way up to Napoli right past mount Vesuvias and past Pompeii. I know where I am if I get there and I will have enough juice in the GPS to get me to the Naval base once I hit Pompeii. I figure I will drive for about 2 hours and then fill her up again just to be safe. Start her up and off I go!
So far so good, it’s a 4-lane highway and hardly any traffic. Have some tunnels that I drive through but no issues. Well at about 10 miles, it goes to a two lane as they have closed one side for construction. 5 miles into this 2-lane portion she starts to backfire and I start losing power. What the hell?! She is really straining as I exit a tunnel and about a mile later she dies entirely. I have now driven about 20 miles from the gas station. Oh yeah, there’s no curb for me to pull over to.
Put on my hazards, pop the grill in the back, get out and try to figure out what the hell happened. Check the oil, damn, I forgot to add some and it is very, very, low. Man I hope I didn’t just hose the engine but I am not thinking that is the problem because the engine would have seized on me. By now I have traffic backed up and Italians honking at me. Like I did this on purpose?
Thankfully, the local Cabineri (police) just happen to be in the area and within 3 minutes of my breaking down they are on scene directing traffic and trying to figure out what the hell is going on. After talking with them, there English is not all that great; they determine that I won’t be getting it started again. Ya THINK?! If I could get it started again would I be standing in the middle of a busy road trying to figure out why my car died?
So the cops take their little SUV pull it up in front of me and pull out a cargo strap; it doesn’t look to sturdy. They hook it up to their truck and the other end to my car. I get in, put her in neutral, foot on the brake and as they start to pull away and the tension starts on the strap I let my foot off the break. I move about a foot and then SNAP! The strap breaks. Well this isn’t good. They stop, get out, look at the strap, back the SUV up then start to tie the broken ends together.
It is now that I notice there are A LOT of knots in this strap! Well I guess the one guy wasn’t happy with his knot because he disconnects the strap and pulls out a new strap to hook us together with. Why the hell he didn’t do this to begin with is a mystery to me. This time it works and they pull me over to an emergency stopping area where they call a tow truck to come and get me. Within 15 minutes a tow truck shows up and loads me up and we travel up the road about 5 more miles and pull off into a little outstation area where the tow truck, police, and emergency medical guys hang out. This is evidently a duty station that has key people to respond to accidents or dumbass Americans like me.
One of the cops speaks decent English and he explains that another truck is coming to get me to take me to Palmi, which is about 20 kilometers up the road. There, they will diagnose and try to fix me. OK, I can deal with that. About an hour later the truck shows up and I would now like to introduce you to Gino.
While I am waiting, I wander over to my car on the first truck and notice the fuel line is hanging low and there is a cut in it right as it feeds into the fuel filter. Not only that, it is leaking. Remember that smell of gas and the hard start? Had a similar problem with the fuel lines being rotted out on the 79 MG I rebuilt. Well, were not going to fix it now and the car is downloaded and then uploaded onto Gino’s truck. Gino speaks passable English.
Off to Palmi! As we get to Palmi we pull into a maintenance yard piled high with dead cars that I think they use as parts cars. Not s single Porsche in sight. First things first, Gino asks if I can help him fix the fuel leak problem and after some creative use of needle nose pliers, combination pliers and a pocket knife, we cut the line and re-clamp it onto the fuel filter. I think the fuel line got cut during the drive on the cobblestone street the previous day.
Gino’s boss shows up and we get to work on trying to figure what the problem is. First thought, the distributor is turning freely. Maybe it got knocked out of time. After multiple attempts and different positions we still can’t get her to start. Some other Italian shows up to help figure this out and they pull the fuel filters off the carbs. After probably about an hour the 2nd guy finally realizes what the problem is, wrong fuel. After some discussion with Gino translating we all come to the realization that I put 24 liters of Gasolina in the tank, which is not regular gas but, a diesel house fuel derivative.
At one point I had 5 Italians all standing around the car trying to figure out 1, what is it, and 2, why won’t it run?
OK, lets drain the tank. I get out my manual, I brought it with me, and look at the fact that were going to have to put it up on the lift they have to get to the plug. As I am looking at this, Gino shows up with a clear rubber hose and two containers to put the fuel in. He sticks one end in the tank, one end in his mouth and sucks some fuel out until it starts to run through the hose on its own accord and then sticks it in a container. I am not sure how much they drained but I think it was just about the entire tank. Guess we don’t need the lift after all.
Once it is drained, Gino’s boss gets in the car and Gino and I push the sucker over to the Esso station across the street. We put oil in the engine, 2 liters, and fill it up with regular gas. Gino and I then push his boss onto the main road that goes down a hill and I go inside to pay for the gas; it cost me 50 euros for the oil and 58 euros for the fuel. As I come out of the office and walk towards the yard the gate opens up and Gino goes flying out the gate with the tow truck. RUTRO SHAGGY!
Ok, maybe he is just trailing him just in case. I walk across the road and stand outside and wait. 30 minutes go by and I don’t see my car. Finally I see the tow truck coming towards me, crap, the car is on the truck. Gino pulls in, gets out of the truck, looks at me and says, “its dead.”
No one knows why but it won’t start. The truth of the matter is while they were trying to get it to start, they did get it started and ran it hard for about 5 minutes. During this time, the Diesel gummed up the works preventing the car from carbureting. So now what? Well, I can’t seem to get in touch with ADAC so I have Gino find out about getting someone to take the car from here to Napoli. He goes inside and comes out about 10 minutes later and says they can take it there. OK, how much? He goes inside again, comes out, 1100 Euros. YOWSA! Well, I don’t have much of a choice now do I? It is at this point that my adventure pretty much ends. The rest of trip is uneventful with Gino driving the truck and me riding next too him to Napoli. It was quite a pretty drive but I am almost relieved that I was a passenger as we had a 40-kilometer detour at one point through the mountains and I am pretty sure I would have gotten lost.
On a side note, Gino is not Italian, he is Lithuanian but he comes to Italy to work for a few months a year. He is fluent in Italian even though it is his second language and pretty good in English. He is also a veteran having served a couple years in the Georgian Army, no not Georgia, USA, Georgia the country. You know the one with the problems with Chechnyan rebels? We had several discussions and the most memorable thing he said was, “Rome and down is Africa, Rome and up is OK.” This was in reference to his host country. As we pulled onto the Navy base and he saw the trash piled up and over flowing the dumpster he looks at me and says, “yes, this, this is Napoli.”
I finally got to Napoli at about 1800 that night and my wife was able to get in touch with ADAC and find a local Porsche dealer. The next morning the car was taken to the Porsche dealer and a few days later they called to tell me what I already knew, the engine would not carburet. So ends the tale of my ill-fated trip to pick up my car and drive from Italy to Germany.
Once the car gets to Mittelmotor I will take a trip up there to talk to them about what needs to be done and hopefully have it back up and running by the end of the month. I will keep you all up to date and post some pictures once I get back to Stuttgart. Hope you enjoyed this little adventure and learned something along the way. The most important thing being…don’t let me pick your car up!!!