Well, I've finally put the Suicide Blond up for sale on ebay. Sad but true. So I get a message from someone, in Austin, who says they want to know more about the car.

The first thing that happens is he starts to berate me on my choices in changes for the car. I KNOW that making my transmission a side shift will make it less collectible, as will putting in a moveable passenger seat, leather interior, upgrading the engine to 2.7 liters and 200 hp, sport exhaust. Why did I need him to start off telling me these things?

Dude, do you want the car or not?

"I'm a cash buyer, interested in your car." Well, not really. You are an arrogant asshole with an attitude. He just wanted to show how smart wasn't.

I really liked how he told me that 914's don't have rear springs. And told me I know nothing about the car I've owned and worked on for the past 7 years

I wanted to hang up on him. But he hung up on me instead, so, whatever.

Oh, and he signed up for an ebay account, 10 days ago, and has never used ebay before...uh huh.



BTW

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/914-6-Origi...A1%7C240%3A1308

James, Sorry to hear you are selling. Call the guy back and tell him to join here and direct him to the sub-club called the Asshat Association. Have him do a search for AHA Meeting. It sounds like he would be directed there in short order anyway! Good luck with your sale...

Yep, he was really interested in the car. And he's certainly an internet newbie...in his 50's, using things like LOL...

I guess I should be thankful I didn't post it on Craigslist!

Sounds like the guy was an idiot. You would't want to sell your car to a guy like that ayway.

Good luck selling your car.

No. I wouldn't want HIM to have the blond and I wouldn't want to deal with him in a transaction.

I'm still shaking my head on the rear springs.

What a dork. No rear springs. Sheesh. "Thanks Genius!"

BTW, THIS is how you promote your sale. Nice little story to go with your link. If you're confused by what I'm talking about, see this thread.

And no, I'm absolutely not bitching at you James.

I'm pretty upfront about the car. It is not, and never will be, a concours car. I had never planned to sell the car, and made the upgrades I wanted. And those window cranks on the early cars? WTH were they thinking.

Funny, about the only thing in good condition on the 1973 car (doner of the doors) were the doors. When Mike (Dr. Evil) and I had the sawzall party in his backyard in San Diego, it became appearent how bad that car was!

Actually, I had kept the blond original fairly, and really worked the tailshift 6 tranny to be as good as it could. And then I drove a well setup sideshift. No comparison. I did the conversion.

Yep, he's a douche-nozzle.

In my best soup nazi voice: "No 914 for you!"

Wow what a idiot. I wish I had his knowledge on 914's ...

Dang, what is going on that you are selling the Blonde? I gotta call you if I ever get out of this hell hole

Well, it gets worse:



Geez, I think he needs to look at Book 5, third page

I don't see any springs?

Notice, even the picture is of a 6!

Can you imagine those being the original tires?

...35 years and 100 914's; and he's asking about rear springs instead of the hell-hole, longs, and jack points?

Does the nursing home know he's been playing on eBay?

No, I found out he is right. 914s do not have 'spings'. I've never owned a 914 with spings, and I have owned 3 of them...

I heard a rumour, years ago, that during R&D on the 914 the factory did in fact consider using the rare sping suspension system.

Then they hired this guy to build the famous one-off 3.2 916.

what a maroon.

It's a miracle he didn't ask you what your reserve price was!

Sounds like a kid getting his jollies. Had a similar verbal reparte' with a guy who turned out to be a 15yr old kid.

Ain't the internet grand?

I ain't the sharpest crayon in the box, but this has had me laughing all day. Thanks for sharing.

Interested in sharing his E-mail address or just paste page six and a link to this post. send it to him and ask again exactly what "SPINGS" look like.

Dude is probably pretty perturbed dealing with Tards like us.

Learn something new every day!

What's a spring dip stick?

C'mon James,

Post his email addy. I could seriously have some fun with this guy.

Seems like my first 914 ('73 2.0) had a sping dipstick. I always thought it was a typo as it had a handy couple of bolts that held it inside the rear spring and would measure travel of the spring. Car sat kinda funny with only one though. My '75 doesn't have one on either side - sits kinda low...

That thing in the middle on #1 in the pic. Musta been an option for the Appearance package as that car had everything.

He could be a alcoholic with dementia and doesn't remember that the 914 has a different suspension to accomodate the mid engine and is the one that isn't a real porsche if he's been in a 911 hole for 35 years.

I have a set of very rare NOS 914 rear spings if anyone wants them. Should I post in the classifieds?

No, put 'em on eBay!

Man...this guy is hilarious. If only we could all get his e mail address and just start rampaging his e mail about this. that would be some fun.

Damn it man, mine didn't come with a sping dipstick. Anyone got a spare to share.

I swear, If I laugh any harder someones going to hafta call an ambulance for me.

and for high performance applications i have just released a Progressive sping dip stick. for all models..one size fits all!

Your post got me thinking so I went and checked both my cars; no luck on the '73 BUT for a minute I thought I had 'em on my 6 conversion.

No luck; mine turned out to be cheap Chinese Spoing knock-offs

point the clown to *this* thread... LOL