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> Bogus Classified Terms Translated
Ansbacher
post Aug 1 2017, 12:20 PM
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For your entertainment and newbie education, I offer some frequently used classified ad terms and their corresponding translations. Yes, I am guilty myself of using a couple of these over the years (who hasn't?). I'm sure the list will be expanded!

"Driver Quality" - A part I removed from my driver because it is worn out and unpresentable.

"Was running when parked" - All cars ran before they were parked, even those with catastrophic engine failure.

"Could use a re-spray" - A full blown, high cost paint job will be needed.

"Rust Free" - I am not charging extra for the rust.

"Tastefully Custom" - Yeah, if your taste is garish, loud, and pimpish.

"Best Offer" - Should read "Best I Will Accept". Your offer means nothing to me.

"O.E.M." - Other East Asian Manufacturer a.k.a. "Junk"

"Professionally Maintained" - A Car maintained by a doctor or lawyer by taking it to incompetent rip-off "Import Shops".

"Needs TLC" - A car that has been neglected for the past ten years and will require thousands of dollars to get back on the road.
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Mikey914
post Aug 1 2017, 12:48 PM
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Funny,
There is a company that makes parts that uses OEM before the part number.
Bingo (IMG:style_emoticons/default/shades.gif)
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Chris914n6
post Aug 1 2017, 01:48 PM
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Jackstands are my life.
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These are mine (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

"Fresh oil change" - Last guy low balled because oil was black.

"Runs Great!" - Didn't used to but I finally fixed it after the last guy low balled.

"New brakes" - replaced pads with the cheapest at Autozone.

"Clean" - I just washed and vacuumed it for the first time since I bought it.

"Tinted" - Limo tinted all windows so you can't see out at night.

"Easy fix" - If you are a professional, too complicated for anyone I know to do.

"Just needs" - Car is a POS that I'm not putting anymore money into, not even the $25 part to make it run right.

"Check engine light on" - Won't pass smog, I don't have money to fix, been parked for weeks and HOA is on my ass.

"Mechanics Special" - I can't lie... I've beat the crap out of it since I bought it.

"Oil changed every 3000 miles" - I'm lying out my ass because I'm dumb enough to think you will believe it.
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mobymutt
post Aug 1 2017, 02:10 PM
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What about the classic "lady driven"? I could never figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
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Ed_Turbo
post Aug 1 2017, 02:18 PM
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QUOTE(Ansbacher @ Aug 1 2017, 11:20 AM) *

Yes, I am guilty myself of using a couple of these over the years (who hasn't?).


Not me.
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Ed_Turbo
post Aug 1 2017, 02:34 PM
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Here are some funny car ads my friends sent me that you guys might like (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lol-2.gif)

Attached Image

Attached Image
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Mark Henry
post Aug 1 2017, 03:26 PM
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that's what I do!
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Kijiji, our version of CL, cars for sale translation guide:

Needs water pump: Blown head gasket.

Needs radiator: Blown head gasket.

Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.

Great commuter car: Blown head gasket.

Runs a little warm: Blown head gasket.

Idles rough: Blown head gasket.

Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.

Drips a little water: Blown head gasket.

Smokes on startup: Blown head gasket.

Mechanic's special: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel. And blown head gasket.

Fixer-upper: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel and window cranks. And blown head gasket.

Needs head gasket: Engine block in several pieces

One of X made: Tercel Black Hawk, or Daewoo Nubira wagon in Barney Purple.

Rat Rod: Ugly.

One of a kind: Very ugly.

Call between (times): Will not answer, will not return calls.

Classic: Rusty.

Slight rust: Even tires and glass are rusting.

Ferrari: Fiero-based kit car.

Lamborghini: Fiero-based kit car.

Porsche 917: Air-cooled Beetle-based kit car.

Maserati: Chrysler TC

Lotus: Isuzu I-Mark.

Corolla: Prizm.

Needs battery: Wiring harness destroyed in electrical fire.

Must sell today: Will take six weeks to respond to contact attempts.

Have all receipts: Has 1996 receipt for fan belt.

Bill of sale only: Stolen.
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krazykonrad
post Aug 2 2017, 11:13 AM
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Starts right up: Currently on fire
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914Sixer
post Aug 2 2017, 11:33 AM
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Keep going, it is getting better all the time (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lol-2.gif)
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theer
post Aug 2 2017, 12:01 PM
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"Low miles for its age" = replace every rubber bit
"Never raced" = at a track.
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worn
post Aug 2 2017, 12:21 PM
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can't remember
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No rust= floors and trunk missing - and blown head gasket (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)
rare= this is the only one with all of the aftermarket crap stuck on with hot glue.
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Mike Fitton
post Aug 2 2017, 01:23 PM
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Rare Color Combination: Ugly
Never driven in the rain: Not driveable
Should cleanup nicely: Not really I already tried
Typical Porsche oil leaks: Will need to add to oil on most short trips
Rust Free: You can't see any in the pictures provided
Not in a hurry to sell: "F'ckin A" I am desperate
Want it to go to a good home: Who ever pays the most money gets it
Always Garaged: On blocks most of its life
Growing Family Need Bigger Car: Now even my kids want me to get rid of it
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sb914
post Aug 2 2017, 02:10 PM
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Previously owned by "little old lady" .
That never maintained! Funny there's a commercial showing little old lady that drives crazy!
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90quattrocoupe
post Aug 2 2017, 02:27 PM
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Don't knock it. The old lady thing works. My wife got premium dollars for her low mileage 2008 R32 because it was driven by a little old retired school teacher.

Greg W
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sb914
post Aug 2 2017, 02:34 PM
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QUOTE(90quattrocoupe @ Aug 2 2017, 01:27 PM) *

Don't knock it. The old lady thing works. My wife got premium dollars for her low mileage 2008 R32 because it was driven by a little old retired school teacher.

Greg W

I'm just saying!
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Mark Henry
post Aug 2 2017, 03:12 PM
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that's what I do!
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One for Porsche and VW...
Absolutely no rust on the rear of the body = rear end is totally covered in oily goo.
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Shadowfax
post Aug 2 2017, 03:26 PM
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Show us the meaning of haste
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"Won't last long" -- Engine will blow up or wheels fall off on the drive home
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sb914
post Aug 2 2017, 03:36 PM
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Almost new !
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