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> 10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER, UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL
kpex914
post Aug 15 2006, 05:36 PM
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10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER
(ididnt no come up with this, so dont get mad at me)

1. I cantreach my license unless you hold my beer. (ok in texas)
2. Sorry, officer, i didnt realize my radar detector wasnt plugged in.
3. Arent you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must have been doing about 125 MPH to keep up withme, good job!
5. Are you Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in Relatively Good Physical Condition to be a police officer.
7. You are not going to check the trunk are you?
8. I pay your salary.
9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
10. Gee, Officer! That's terriffic! The last officer only gave me a warning too!
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bd1308
post Aug 15 2006, 05:44 PM
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11. 85? Oh so you weren't following me earlier on?
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914nerd
post Aug 15 2006, 05:44 PM
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Would you like a donut officer?
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school.
Bad cop! No Donut!
Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?
Wow! You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
So...you on the take, or what?
What do you mean "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to the .45 under my shirt.
Wanna race to the station, Sparky?
Hey wasn't your daughter a porn queen?
How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Good times
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/sheeplove.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif)
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fiid
post Aug 15 2006, 05:46 PM
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A friend of mine got pulled over (true story here) on the way back from Dunkin Donuts, for rolling a stop sign.... he lost his license that night.....
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914nerd
post Aug 15 2006, 05:50 PM
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QUOTE(fiid @ Aug 15 2006, 05:46 PM) *

A friend of mine got pulled over (true story here) on the way back from Dunkin Donuts, for rolling a stop sign.... he lost his license that night.....

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/av-943.gif)
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7TPorsh
post Aug 15 2006, 05:52 PM
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1985....After driving the wrong way on a one way street, the cop asked he if I saw the arrows?

I told him I didn't even see the indians.

12 hours of traffic school.
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914rrr
post Aug 15 2006, 06:06 PM
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"Why don't you try clocking me again?!!!" ...after I argued with the cops that there was no way I could've hit 40 MPH in that short of a distance. Got locked up for that one. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/alfred.gif) Hey, I was much younger and waaaaay stoopid-er.
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ztbell
post Aug 15 2006, 06:11 PM
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You can't out run a radio! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/burnout.gif)
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Midtowner
post Aug 15 2006, 06:59 PM
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Ooooo!
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#12. Hey, I've got a joke for you. Q: Why do cops wear mustaches? A: To hide their stretch marks! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/yawn.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
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GWN7
post Aug 15 2006, 07:03 PM
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Never roll down your window 1/2"...stick your licence out and go "What?!!"
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Cap'n Krusty
post Aug 15 2006, 07:24 PM
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If he asks you if there's someone who can come and get your kid, it's a bad sign, and you should probably say no ..................... The Cap'n
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914rrr
post Aug 15 2006, 07:48 PM
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True story:

Early 80's in Louisville KY, driving my 74 2.0 home after closing a bar down with my roommate, too many Long Island Iced teas, smart ass in a 80's Vette next to me is gunning it at the light, roommate says ...you're not actually gonna...light turns green, drop the hammer, I'm actually beating this guy up to about 70!, blue lights behind me, HOLY SHIT!!!!!, learned lesson from earlier speeding experience and commence to kiss serious ass... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/KMA.gif) absolutely no excuse officer, what I did was very irresponsible, etc., etc., tells me to sit in the car, walks back to cruiser, almost piss myself, cop walks back up, tells me to behave on the way home and "...you were kicking his butt until I pulled you over...' (IMG:style_emoticons/default/thumb3d.gif) No lie. Roommate (who was arrested for DUI 3 weeks earlier for a busted taillight) tells me "..you TOTALLY SUCK! YOU LUCKY BASTARD...!!!
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grasshopper
post Aug 15 2006, 07:51 PM
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"Sorry, I never get caught, so I am used to going this fast."
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dflesburg
post Aug 15 2006, 07:53 PM
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He says, "you know why I pulled you over?"

You reply "Your the fascist pig, you tell me."
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fitsbain
post Aug 15 2006, 08:10 PM
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Friend of mine in HS got pulled over at the bottom of a hill. Same cop that had given 2 seperate speeding tickets the week before. Cop asked why he was going too fast. Kid looks back at the big hill behind him and replies

"Fucken Gravity!!!"

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/alfred.gif)
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URY914
post Aug 15 2006, 08:15 PM
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After the cop was on my tail clocking me and BEFORE I knew it, I took a sharp left turn onto my street. He hit the lights and I saw him and pulled over. He says, "were trying to loose me back there?!? I said "What? I didn't even know you were back there. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/confused24.gif) He said, you mean this thing corners like that all the time? Yep, no ticket. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
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morph
post Aug 15 2006, 09:10 PM
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When I was younger I actually got pulled over with the "Bad cop! No Donut!" and the "D.A.R.E Donut Abuse Resistance Education" bumper stickers on the back of my car and the officer didn't find them very amusing.

Hiedi
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Aaron Cox
post Aug 15 2006, 09:19 PM
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when i was dialing in my carbs, i was running without plates, lights etc....

made a new friend.... came outta nowhere.

lighting up 3rd and 4th with the short geared box....

"what are you doing going so fast?"

"Sorry officer, i was dialing in carbeuretors...(sync, and small tools on passenger seat), i am sure you know how it is on your bike"

"My bmw is fuel injected (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif), take it home right now son"
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Duffster
post Aug 15 2006, 11:06 PM
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oh... I don't know. I like:

(cop) "Do you know how fast you were going????"

(slits) "No, but I was in the lead!" (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smiley_notworthy.gif)
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John
post Aug 15 2006, 11:19 PM
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member? what's a member?
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Sorry osiffer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am....

or

Are you Ponch or John?
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