Joke: The 911 Hat, if you are easily offended... don't open Options

[Rusty]

A young boy walked into the restroom of a restaurant near Lime Rock. As he was washing his hands, a man walked in wearing slacks, a starched shirt and a 911 hat. The boy looked up in awe and asked, "Gee mister... are you a 911 driver?"

The guy puffed up, smiled and replied, "Yes, son, I sure am."

The boy asked if he could wear the man's hat for a minute. The man agreed, and walked into a stall.

A moment later, a guy walked in. He was greasy, wearing scruffy jeans and a 914 hat. The boy looked up and said, "Gee mister, are you a 914 driver??"

The man looked down and replied, "Yeah, why? You wanna suck my dick?"

The boy looked astonished and said... "No, no! I'm not a 911 driver - I'm just wearing his hat!"


-Rusty (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smoke.gif)

[Howard]

OK, but I'm outta here.

Subject: Great Circus Act

A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein!" Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts: animals, clowns, contortionists, etc.

Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, in the middle of the ring, is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet two inches tall, and barely able to walk to the table.


He unzips his pants, whips out an impressive prodigious member, grabs it in his hand, and proceeds to smash all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in thunderous applause as the elderly Goldstein is carried off on the shoulders of the clowns.


Ten years later, the same salesman visits the same little town and sees the same circus being advertised with the same (now faded) banner reading, "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein!" Our friend the salesman can't believe the old guy is still alive, much less still doing his act! So, he buys a ticket and sits through the various acts, waiting for the big finale.


Finally, the center ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are on the table. As before, old Goldstein takes forever to make it to the table. He unzips his fly and proceeds to smash the Coconuts with three swings of his amazing schlong. The crowd goes wild! The salesman requests a meeting with him after the show. In Goldstein's dressing room, the salesman tells him he's never seen anything like Goldstein's act.

But, he wants to know why Goldstein, at his age, is now smashing large coconuts instead of the much smaller walnuts. "Vell," says Goldstein, wearily, "My eyes aren't vhat they used to be!"