Bogus Classified Terms Translated Options

[Ansbacher]

For your entertainment and newbie education, I offer some frequently used classified ad terms and their corresponding translations. Yes, I am guilty myself of using a couple of these over the years (who hasn't?). I'm sure the list will be expanded!

"Driver Quality" - A part I removed from my driver because it is worn out and unpresentable.

"Was running when parked" - All cars ran before they were parked, even those with catastrophic engine failure.

"Could use a re-spray" - A full blown, high cost paint job will be needed.

"Rust Free" - I am not charging extra for the rust.

"Tastefully Custom" - Yeah, if your taste is garish, loud, and pimpish.

"Best Offer" - Should read "Best I Will Accept". Your offer means nothing to me.

"O.E.M." - Other East Asian Manufacturer a.k.a. "Junk"

"Professionally Maintained" - A Car maintained by a doctor or lawyer by taking it to incompetent rip-off "Import Shops".

"Needs TLC" - A car that has been neglected for the past ten years and will require thousands of dollars to get back on the road.

[Mark Henry]

Kijiji, our version of CL, cars for sale translation guide:

Needs water pump: Blown head gasket.

Needs radiator: Blown head gasket.

Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.

Great commuter car: Blown head gasket.

Runs a little warm: Blown head gasket.

Idles rough: Blown head gasket.

Overheats in traffic: Blown head gasket.

Drips a little water: Blown head gasket.

Smokes on startup: Blown head gasket.

Mechanic's special: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel. And blown head gasket.

Fixer-upper: Vise-Grips used for steering wheel and window cranks. And blown head gasket.

Needs head gasket: Engine block in several pieces

One of X made: Tercel Black Hawk, or Daewoo Nubira wagon in Barney Purple.

Rat Rod: Ugly.

One of a kind: Very ugly.

Call between (times): Will not answer, will not return calls.

Classic: Rusty.

Slight rust: Even tires and glass are rusting.

Ferrari: Fiero-based kit car.

Lamborghini: Fiero-based kit car.

Porsche 917: Air-cooled Beetle-based kit car.

Maserati: Chrysler TC

Lotus: Isuzu I-Mark.

Corolla: Prizm.

Needs battery: Wiring harness destroyed in electrical fire.

Must sell today: Will take six weeks to respond to contact attempts.

Have all receipts: Has 1996 receipt for fan belt.

Bill of sale only: Stolen.