Bogus Classified Terms Translated Options

[Ansbacher]

For your entertainment and newbie education, I offer some frequently used classified ad terms and their corresponding translations. Yes, I am guilty myself of using a couple of these over the years (who hasn't?). I'm sure the list will be expanded!

"Driver Quality" - A part I removed from my driver because it is worn out and unpresentable.

"Was running when parked" - All cars ran before they were parked, even those with catastrophic engine failure.

"Could use a re-spray" - A full blown, high cost paint job will be needed.

"Rust Free" - I am not charging extra for the rust.

"Tastefully Custom" - Yeah, if your taste is garish, loud, and pimpish.

"Best Offer" - Should read "Best I Will Accept". Your offer means nothing to me.

"O.E.M." - Other East Asian Manufacturer a.k.a. "Junk"

"Professionally Maintained" - A Car maintained by a doctor or lawyer by taking it to incompetent rip-off "Import Shops".

"Needs TLC" - A car that has been neglected for the past ten years and will require thousands of dollars to get back on the road.

[Mike Fitton]

Rare Color Combination: Ugly
Never driven in the rain: Not driveable
Should cleanup nicely: Not really I already tried
Typical Porsche oil leaks: Will need to add to oil on most short trips
Rust Free: You can't see any in the pictures provided
Not in a hurry to sell: "F'ckin A" I am desperate
Want it to go to a good home: Who ever pays the most money gets it
Always Garaged: On blocks most of its life
Growing Family Need Bigger Car: Now even my kids want me to get rid of it