little johnny, friday joke part 2 Options

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Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."


Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"


Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."


Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."


Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. T! hat's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."


By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"


Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."


Mr. Smith doesn't think the little shit is adorable anymore

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Ahhh.....the famous little johnny jokes. Here's one of my favorites:

The teacher in school asks if anyone in the classroom can use the word "contagious" in a sentence. Sarah and Little Johnny both put up their hands. The teacher doesn't want to ask Little Johnny because his answers are always vulgar so she says " OK Sarah, how would you use the word contagious in a sentance?"

Sarah says "My brother had chicken pox and I also got them because they are contagious"

The teacher says "Very good Sarah. Anyone else?" Immediately Andy and Little Johnny both put up their hands. Once again the teacher doesn't want to ask Little Johnny and says "Ok Andy, how would you use the work contagious in a sentance?"

Andy says "The Bubonic Plague was a contagious disease that killed a lot of people"

The teacher says "Very good Andy. Anyone else?" This time only Little Johnny puts up his hand so finally the teacher says "Little Johnny, before you tell me your sentance I need to know how plan to use the word to make sure it is appropriate for school"

Little Johnny says "I am going to use it to describe gardening"

The teacher, confused and not able to figure out how the word "contagious" could be used to describe gardening asks Little Johnny "How does the work contagious apply to gardening?"

Little Johnny says "I don't know but the other day old lady Brownstone was trimming her hedge with a pair of scissors and I heard my dad say 'Would you look at that, it's going to take that c*nt ages to finish'. "

PS - No offense meant to any of the ladies out there. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/boldblue.gif)