G&R ALL 914 RUSTY PARTS SWAP MEET AND ANIMAL FLESH ROASTING FESTIV, MAY 1, 2011 EDITION Options

[SLITS]

Well folks, it time for the 20th or so rendition of the infamous G&R All 914 Rusty Parts Swap Meet and Animal Flesh Roasting Festival. After consultation with the Dali Lama, POA, PCA, casting bones and a Tarot reading, the date shall be MAY 1, 2011 , a day which will live in infamy.

This edition will be dedicated to "Mr. Moder", Thomas Spretke (I'll spell it correctly later) who will be returning to Der Faderland on the 6th of May. Thomas has undertaken the task of mediating the fight between VW & Porsche and will use his skills to return Porsche to prominence amongst the car makers. His first task will be to add cup holders to the Boxster line. Establishment of the 5th Reich is paramount in his mind.

Accompaning him will be the entire US Gov't as we wish to get rid of them. We have chartered the Titanic for this epic journey. It is outfitted with a one man life boat for Mr. Moder so that the rest of them will become the bottom feeders, mud suckers that they are.

We had thought of strapping his ass to a V1 and sending him on his merry way, but transit time would have been to short. We wanted him to suffer a tad for leaving us. He has left a major skid mark on our collective underwear.

This year we will only be serving the lowest grade tube steak we can find in honor of his return to the "Land of Stuffed Intestine Consumers". For a few extra bucks we might be able to obtain real meat for those of you so inclined or have medical concerns. What the hell do you want for $5, real food?

Liquid black uppers, sugar and grease will be availabe for the early comers. For those that are just breathing hard, we will offer liquid carmel colored, phosphoric acid or impure water.

For entertainment, we have contracted with King George, Brad R and RealRed starring in Slits' production of Mr. Ego ... a three part 3D play. The finale will be when their swelled heads explode in unison. Protective toilet seat covers will be provided. Tinfoil hats are optional.

Anyway, we invite you to bring all the crap you want to get rid of, spread it on the ground and try to convince someone to give you money for it. Punitive sales tax will be collected so that Governer Moonbeam will be able to fund his so badly needed brain transplant. No charge for the swap space, but the taxes will be astounding. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/flag.gif)

For those not wanting to haul the trash back and refill their garage, there will be a rolloff container in which you may deposit your treasured rust.

This meteoric event will be held at 2727 Kansas Ave, Riverside, CA 92507. Gate will be open at 6:30 AM unless I decide to sleep in.

If any one has contact with Scott Kline, please notify him as we have a Shalom For Sale. This should be less ardous as it is almost completely finished and running so that he will not experience severe agnoy over not being able to finish a project.

Also, since it is the 1st of May .... outdoor intercourse starts today. If you bring your SO, be prepared to share. We had thought of bringing in a bevy of rentals but the logistics were to intense.

The Right Reverend Slits of the First Church of Celestial Polygamy will be on hand to provide services.

Glenn will man the BBQ. He will also give a tech session entitled, "Are Amerikan made metric fasteners as good as Deutscher made ones". It is an open session, so bring your silly ass ideas, speak up and be made a fool of.

Anyone trailering their vehicle will be fined or molested.

Rulezzz ..... there are none at the moment.

That's about it for now. Watch this . as it grows for more up to date information (no, you are not blind, it is a dot).

PS: A special note to Mr. Sharp ... please outfit your vehicle with air shocks when pulling a trailer and BLOW THEM UP ... it would be nice to be able to close the gate at the end of the event.

Fade to black, exit stage right .............