Well folks, it time for the 20th or so rendition of the infamous G&R All 914 Rusty Parts Swap Meet and Animal Flesh Roasting Festival. After consultation with the Dali Lama, POA, PCA, casting bones and a Tarot reading, the date shall be MAY 1, 2011 , a day which will live in infamy.

This edition will be dedicated to "Mr. Moder", Thomas Spretke (I'll spell it correctly later) who will be returning to Der Faderland on the 6th of May. Thomas has undertaken the task of mediating the fight between VW & Porsche and will use his skills to return Porsche to prominence amongst the car makers. His first task will be to add cup holders to the Boxster line. Establishment of the 5th Reich is paramount in his mind.

Accompaning him will be the entire US Gov't as we wish to get rid of them. We have chartered the Titanic for this epic journey. It is outfitted with a one man life boat for Mr. Moder so that the rest of them will become the bottom feeders, mud suckers that they are.

We had thought of strapping his ass to a V1 and sending him on his merry way, but transit time would have been to short. We wanted him to suffer a tad for leaving us. He has left a major skid mark on our collective underwear.

This year we will only be serving the lowest grade tube steak we can find in honor of his return to the "Land of Stuffed Intestine Consumers". For a few extra bucks we might be able to obtain real meat for those of you so inclined or have medical concerns. What the hell do you want for $5, real food?

Liquid black uppers, sugar and grease will be availabe for the early comers. For those that are just breathing hard, we will offer liquid carmel colored, phosphoric acid or impure water.

For entertainment, we have contracted with King George, Brad R and RealRed starring in Slits' production of Mr. Ego ... a three part 3D play. The finale will be when their swelled heads explode in unison. Protective toilet seat covers will be provided. Tinfoil hats are optional.

Anyway, we invite you to bring all the crap you want to get rid of, spread it on the ground and try to convince someone to give you money for it. Punitive sales tax will be collected so that Governer Moonbeam will be able to fund his so badly needed brain transplant. No charge for the swap space, but the taxes will be astounding.

For those not wanting to haul the trash back and refill their garage, there will be a rolloff container in which you may deposit your treasured rust.

This meteoric event will be held at 2727 Kansas Ave, Riverside, CA 92507. Gate will be open at 6:30 AM unless I decide to sleep in.

If any one has contact with Scott Kline, please notify him as we have a Shalom For Sale. This should be less ardous as it is almost completely finished and running so that he will not experience severe agnoy over not being able to finish a project.

Also, since it is the 1st of May .... outdoor intercourse starts today. If you bring your SO, be prepared to share. We had thought of bringing in a bevy of rentals but the logistics were to intense.

The Right Reverend Slits of the First Church of Celestial Polygamy will be on hand to provide services.

Glenn will man the BBQ. He will also give a tech session entitled, "Are Amerikan made metric fasteners as good as Deutscher made ones". It is an open session, so bring your silly ass ideas, speak up and be made a fool of.

Anyone trailering their vehicle will be fined or molested.

Rulezzz ..... there are none at the moment.

That's about it for now. Watch this . as it grows for more up to date information (no, you are not blind, it is a dot).

PS: A special note to Mr. Sharp ... please outfit your vehicle with air shocks when pulling a trailer and BLOW THEM UP ... it would be nice to be able to close the gate at the end of the event.

Fade to black, exit stage right .............

Thanks to Ron whatsisname for another eloquent, elegant and articulate invitation to yet another G&R. Also a huge thanks to the honored Herr Spretke for leaving our country voluntarily as it eliminates the expensive and lengthy deportation process. I'll be there with whichever of my vehicles is willing to co-operate that day. Although I myself do not consume the grilled bovine muscle tissue that so many seem to enjoy I will certainly be there with a wad of cash looking for that special something that I just cannot live without. Now it's time for me to prepare the 914 you see in my avatar for towing to Guys Independant Porsche shop because I made the mistake of trouble-shooting an electrical problem myself (and made things worse), which considering my belief that electricity is the devils work and black magic, I simply should not do.
Cheers, Elliot

Well Ron you covered it all as usual Thanks!!! Writen like a lawyer with a slight case of touretts

looking forward to it!!!

I can hardly wait to see all of the 914 fellowship gorging on all the beastly goods that glen will thrust upon them, and Slits exporting all his great knowledge upon the masses. I will miss Herr Thomas and his expertize for the 901 trans. He did a noble job of building my new long ratio trans. May the masses relieve them self's of the piles of goods plopped upon the blacken soil

May we have an AMEN to that!!!!

AMEN

Looking forward to making this annual event with a Running Porsche. As I have already aquired a pair of Chrome Jack Stands for some impending work, I hope to glean some knowledge of how to correctly mount the Jack Stands in a place that will give the wife the illusion of a short stay in an elevated position.

I used to believe that what goes up, must come down, but we'll see.

Smitty

I'll be there. Do you want me to bring the Bud girls.

SI!

Will there be microfiber polishing cloths and Meguiars Quik Detailer®?

My car may get a little dusty from the ride and the cigarette ashes...

It doesnt get better than this

Can i sell Twystd1's ancient "lightly used" blow up panda bear doll? Its rare and exotic... should be worth a fortune?

-What the hell... I'm in.

And you are??

So....would it be o.k. if a couple of wayward Aussies turned up? With shrimp and ?

Everyone is welcome ... shrimp or not.

You mean "prawns" right? Shrimp is often how SLITS is described.

pi-leto you are not very nice to are little friend. be careful or he will make you land down wind

It's OK Bernie. While he wasn't around, I farted in his interior which cost him the "Best Interior" award

I didn't have enough left for the engine bay.

I'm bringing you a shop ho!

Oh man!! Was that you? I thought something had died under my seat!!

A BUMP 'cause somebody claimed they didn't see the announcement!

Liar!

I'll be there with lots of SS fuel line sets,, save some shipping and pick them up! It's a fun BBQ with lots of 914 folks.

-Robert

At 9:00 AM, be sure to gather 'round for the SLITS car detailing seminar. Learn from the master how to change the color of your car from white to grey simply by smoking unfiltered Camel cigarettes whilest polishing your car with only the finest carnuba wax 99 cents can buy. That's right folks, the Grey Ghost used to look more like Casper



Immediately following, SLITS will then conduct classes on concours judging, proper wine & cheese selection and how to drink your afternoon tea with your pinky finger properly extended.

I think I am being picked on ...........

I may employ the "Thunder From Downunder" to police this thread. They're ruthless!

I am thinking that we will have a "Car For Sale Corral", right next to the dumpster. That way I can rent the plasma cutter & Sawzall for those that don't want to drive/tow their non-running piece of rust back home. Oh, if you bring an assdragger, the rental fee is waived.

And Glenn, the title should be "Color Change by Embedding Dirt in Your Paint".

The best 914 swap meet around: cars. peeps, chow, and the sideshow. If your AAA is paid up and your within the magic 100 mile limit, you should be safe. Bob, below, drove from AZ to share his not-so-rusty parts...

Leaman camped out overnight to get first dibs before Bob unpacked....

For those of you who have been to and will be at this event, I'll see you all there. For those of you who haven't been to the G&R, you gotta show up. Even if you don't buy or sell anything it's still a good time. This is the only 914 event that Jim Hoyland actually drives his car to so you'll also get to see one of the nicest 914's in the country.
Cheers, Elliot

DANGER ..... DANGER ...... DANGER

That's two posts from members of the CGBC. Is an invasion imminent? Forewarned is forearmed ...be on the lookout for light loafers.

Damn your cold, Elliott.

I'm so down for this. Anyone need anything in particular? I'll be bringing a Dually full of choice stuff.

A regulator plate in good shape for a 73.

This event is always fun and nice cars to view...hopefully mine will be running.

I've been attending three years running and haven't seen his 914 yet. He drives his White boxter every year. I don't beleive he has a 914!!!

Al

I had to shrink it down....

Will you be carrying that in your pocket when you fly up for the WCR? 'Cause I know you won't be driving up.

May is a little too soon... when's the next one? lol

I've got a couple of tow bars that I could bring if anyone here is interested. One is for a std VW (front axle attach) and the other can be modified w/ a piece of 1.25 tube, to flat tow your 914. PM me if interested. See ya'll there.

I've got the Thimbu the tow bar attaches to, never used

So, who is going to tell me who everyone is? I only know a few of you by sight.

And I certainly can't associate handles and avatars with each name.

So far I know some famous teeners are going, but no one did a roll call, did they?

Bruce Stone - Sold me the most parts so far in SoCal
Slits - The HOST
Joe Sharp, and not probably in the blue 6
Thomas, the SoCal Expatriate German
Dan - Joe's remaining driver
Al - of Als914
Elliot - From San Diego - Is that 2.0L still for sale?
Jim Hoyland

Someone please do a program with names and handles!

J

Get a name badge here from Conedodger. A member vendor. Less names to get wrong that way.

Wondering: Would anyone going to the G & R be interested in a Craftman SAE 3/4" drive socket set with extensions. Bought it back in 1985 and have seldom had a need for it. It's been stored inside my rolling tool chest, it's like new. Reason, I ask: I need to make room ain my tool chest and it's pretty heavy to ship. Shoot me a pm if you are interested in seeing it at G &R

Do you need the cover and long screw with it? PM me if so.

gee. this looks like a swell event. is it big? I sure hope I dont have to tow the Ranchero back.

















...again.

Sad and sorry to say but i will not be able to attend this one for personal reasons. I do plan on attending the next one later on in the year.

Hmmmm .... hemorrhoids flared up again huh?

Getting close, so I'll bump it back to the front page. I'll be leaving tomorrow, staying in Ontario. See you all there. (I worked on my Webers today so I give myself about 60/40 that I'll even make it).

Tomorrow, Tomorrow.
It's just a day away .........

I heard a rumor that the President will entertain us by trying to weave his personal helicopter through the power lines to land in our back parking lot.

With Santa Ana winds in the forecast, it should be quite interesting. The current line is 3:1.

I am headed to the shop to tidy things up a bit (make a bigger pile in one corner instead of 4 or 5 piles).

While the Redneck says he is bringing the "Bud Girls", we have, under contract, all the girls from the Las Vegas Hit Show .... "Boobs Galore" .... who will ply us with their mammeries memories.

Any members of the CGBC using the telephone will be required to speak .... just heavy breathing will not be tolerated.

Be sure to show up .... the excess gasses produced by "Mother Natures's Own" combined with the aroma of fried fat will put a smile on your face.

Bringing the pit crew ??

Geeze, a Pit Crew? All I'm bringing is some spare parts ... and Dianne

Anyone need a nice blasted and painted (inside & out) fan housing
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Triad '6' exhaust 1-7/8"
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