Army Business, We got new tool boxes... Options

[Rusty]

We got new toolboxes. The commander made everyone who got one of the new ones sign the memo below. This IS for real:


MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING

Subject: Issue of New Mechanics Toolboxes

1. I, the undersigned, understand:

a. This is my toolbox; there are many like it, but this one is mine. I
understand that I am responsible for its contents or lack thereof. When CPT
Trant eventually does a change of command, which will occur sometime before
her seventieth birthday, I will still be responsible for everything in or
not in my toolbox. At the time of the inventory, if I am missing anything -
even if it's a screwdriver bit or something no one ever uses like a wrench,
I will be required, on the spot, to pay for the tools replacement at the
exorbitant (very expensive) GSA catalog rate. I know that my tools were
purchased through the same organization that paid twenty thousand dollars
for a toilet seat, so I will be especially careful not to lose them. But if
I do, I will pay through either cash collection voucher or a statement of
charges. I will pay and no amount of begging will change that fact. I have
been forewarned.

b. Furthermore, I understand that these toolboxes were not made by
mechanics. They were made by nerdy gizmo freaks who do not understand the
amount of abuse my old metal toolbox suffered. I understand that I must be
gentler with this toolbox because it is made of plastic. I cannot use it as
a chock block; I cannot hit other soldiers with it, or attempt to crush it
against my forehead. I cannot drop it off the back of a truck, especially
if it's cold, or it will shatter. I will treat it as gently as I would my
own child (or for some, replace with X-Box.) If the toolbox itself should
become damaged or if one of my tools becomes damaged through my "use a
bigger hammer" concept of repair, I will notify my supervisor immediately.
I will prepare it for turn-in and keep a copy of my turn-in document for
display during the eventual change of command inventory. I understand that
if I do not have this turn in document and my shortage annex is not
correctly annotated, I will be required to pay for it. See above about the
effectiveness of crying, etc.

2. Point of contact is the undersigned.


Signature_____________________
Printed name and rank________________________