OT: MikeZ, What happened to the Employee manual? |
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OT: MikeZ, What happened to the Employee manual? |
swood |
Jun 8 2004, 04:24 PM
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#1
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Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 1,839 Joined: 6-February 03 From: Strong Beach Member No.: 251 Region Association: None |
Did you delete the post? Send me that. We just got our first edition EM's and I want to show the boss what he forgot.
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) Stevo |
Joe Bob |
Jun 8 2004, 04:28 PM
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#2
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Retired admin, banned a few times Group: Members Posts: 17,427 Joined: 24-December 02 From: Boulder CO Member No.: 5 Region Association: None |
Sorry....figured it was a yawner as there were 60 views and no responses....
THE NEW 2004 CALIFORNIA STATE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK BY "ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER" SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. PERSONAL DAYS Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. LUNCH BREAK Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast. DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. BEREAVEMENT LEAVE This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have nonemployees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. Lament and tear your hair out on your own time. RESTROOM USE Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the bowl empties, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Thank you for your loyalty to our great state. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. THE GOVERNATER |
swood |
Jun 8 2004, 04:32 PM
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#3
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Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 1,839 Joined: 6-February 03 From: Strong Beach Member No.: 251 Region Association: None |
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) That's great!! Thanks.
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campbellcj |
Jun 8 2004, 09:55 PM
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#4
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I can't Re Member Group: Members Posts: 4,545 Joined: 26-December 02 From: Agoura, CA Member No.: 21 Region Association: Southern California |
Hmmm... that resembles my boss quite a bit.
Vacation, sick leave, lunch, and bathroom breaks are the work of the devil and should be banned. If it weren't for that darned government mandating all of this stuff, we could be SO much more productive. And anything that can wait until tomorrow, might as well be done today, on top of today's work, which really should have been done yesterday in the first place. And oh yeah, you really should do tomorrow's work today too, because there's no time like the present. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) |
GWN7 |
Jun 9 2004, 07:34 AM
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#5
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King of Road Trips Group: Members Posts: 6,280 Joined: 31-December 02 From: Winnipeg, MB, Canada Member No.: 56 Region Association: Northstar Region |
I like it...went to go show it to the guys at work and there it was gone. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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Toast |
Jun 9 2004, 02:02 PM
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#6
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Not bad for carrying sway bars. Group: Members Posts: 3,377 Joined: 20-January 04 From: Las Vegas Member No.: 1,580 Region Association: Southwest Region |
Old news Mike. I got that in an email a long time ago. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/slap.gif)
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Zeke |
Jun 9 2004, 07:36 PM
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#7
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Never left, but not right.... Group: Members Posts: 381 Joined: 26-January 03 From: Long Beach CA Member No.: 197 Region Association: None |
QUOTE(Cricket @ Jun 9 2004, 12:02 PM) Old news Mike. I got that in an email a long time ago. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/slap.gif) So what? Some of us didn't get that email. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif) |
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