 For the married folks on the club:, Wat OT BTW |
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| Root_Werks |
 Sep 2 2004, 10:15 AM
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#1
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Village Idiot  Group: Members Posts: 8,321 Joined: 25-May 04 From: About 5NM from Canada Member No.: 2,105 Region Association: Pacific Northwest 
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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much, and I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have also never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts. For Example: One evening last week, my wife and I were calling it a day. Well, things
start to heat up, and she suddenly says, "I don't feel like it I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What's up with that?!" So she says these words that every husband on the planet would hate to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I rolled over and went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just take them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair to match each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was half a bubble off plumb. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing euphoria from all of the excitement. Smiling with anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all, Dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself, and I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled look. "WHAT???!!!" she finally managed to growl. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman" And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently, I'm not getting any tonight, either. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) |
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Replies(1 - 12)
| Aaron Cox |
Sep 2 2004, 10:21 AM
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#2
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Professional Lawn Dart Group: Retired Admin Posts: 24,541 Joined: 1-February 03 From: OC Member No.: 219 Region Association: Southern California |
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| SGB |
Sep 2 2004, 10:22 AM
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#3
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just visiting Group: Members Posts: 4,086 Joined: 8-March 03 From: Huntsville, AL Member No.: 404 Region Association: South East States |
Honesty is a lonely road.
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| Meredith |
Sep 2 2004, 10:22 AM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 615 Joined: 2-December 03 Member No.: 1,414 Region Association: None |
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| Joe Ricard |
Sep 2 2004, 10:28 AM
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#5
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CUMONIWANNARACEU Group: Members Posts: 6,811 Joined: 5-January 03 From: Gautier, MS Member No.: 92 |
Just for the record A new Mini Cooper "S" don't work much better.
Maybe I should go to the next AX in style. These days gong fast in a car is better ..... WAY better. |
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| morph |
Sep 2 2004, 10:38 AM
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#6
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quality parts builder Group: Members Posts: 1,828 Joined: 25-November 03 From: oregon coast Member No.: 1,389 Region Association: Pacific Northwest |
you can trace all sucess and failures of any relation ship back to three basic things. money ,sex,comunication.
but OUCH that must been a fun eve for ya (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) |
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| Root_Werks |
Sep 2 2004, 10:47 AM
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#7
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Village Idiot Group: Members Posts: 8,321 Joined: 25-May 04 From: About 5NM from Canada Member No.: 2,105 Region Association: Pacific Northwest
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(IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif) Dang, I should have mentioned this was passed onto me, so I didn't get to do this to my wife. Bummer. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)
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| tdgray |
Sep 2 2004, 10:51 AM
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#8
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Thank God Nemo is not here to see this Group: Members Posts: 9,705 Joined: 5-August 03 From: Akron, OH Member No.: 984 Region Association: None |
I haven't been married this long (8 years) but.....
Ya know the only kind of sex you have when you've been married awhile is? Oral Sex Just F$ck you ... no F$ck you as you pass each other in the hallway. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) |
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| SpecialK |
Sep 2 2004, 10:56 AM
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#9
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aircraft surgeon Group: Benefactors Posts: 3,211 Joined: 15-March 04 From: Pacific, MO Member No.: 1,797  |
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/chairfall.gif) That's hilarious!! Amazing the ideas that come to you in a "cold shower" (IMG:style_emoticons/default/chairfall.gif) And the moral of the story is: "Paybacks are a MF!" (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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| GWN7 |
Sep 2 2004, 11:51 AM
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#10
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King of Road Trips Group: Members Posts: 6,280 Joined: 31-December 02 From: Winnipeg, MB, Canada Member No.: 56 Region Association: Northstar Region |
Best advise when you get married.......buy a comfortable couch.......
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif) |
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| Sammy |
Sep 2 2004, 04:24 PM
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#11
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. Group: Members Posts: 1,190 Joined: 21-January 03 From: Orange, Ca Member No.: 178 |
I love it. Just what I was thinking half way through that story.
Last christmas my wife was hinting that she wanted some expensive jewelry. I was being a smart ass and asked, what's in it for me? She hinted that there would be fun in the bedroom if I bought her the stuff. then he has the nerve to get mad when I tell her that for the same price I could get a younger, better looking prostitute than her. She got the jewelry, I didn't get mine ;( |
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| street legal go-kart |
Sep 2 2004, 08:52 PM
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#12
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Miss Mari's slave Group: Members Posts: 437 Joined: 28-March 03 From: sierra nevada ,cali . Member No.: 490 |
Guys am I doing something wrong?
Take the wife to see a SC ive been eying for a while she says" Go ahead if you want it." Call the fine young woman and tell her the teener just dropped a valve and she says"Why dont you just buil the big 4 you have wanted?" Never even asked the price. Tell her about the 130 mph snowmobile I want and the only question is "How fast will it go with me driving it and you watching?" Now I will say I let her do the same for herself but as to the special favors its all I can do to get some sleep a couple nites a week! The only time I get any flack is when the boy is still awake. JT |
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| VegasRacer |
Sep 2 2004, 10:34 PM
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#13
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ELVIRA Group: Benefactors Posts: 8,509 Joined: 27-March 03 From: Between Scylla and Charybdis Member No.: 481 Region Association: None
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fat chance
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